But, come to think of it, they could all be seen as limiting in some way (excluding my children, its their mother that’s in the way of that but neither here nor wherever else).
Nay, I think it’s just a side effect of leveling myself up honestly. I had to get broken free of my dynamic with my parents, otherwise I wouldn’t be free to be as I will with Kenya.
I had to demonstrate to them and my kids mother in distinct but somewhat similar ways that I will be what I will be and that they have no jurisdiction or authority in what form that takes. The consequences of that are also my own, but. I’m also reclaiming my ability and will to shape my reality as I choose every step of the way, as well.
If I continue on even the same ‘simple’ trajectory I’ve created in the past month or so, I’ll be leagues beyond where I am now in a relatively short time. But I’m not satisfied to settle either.
I feel my capacity again. I feel my potential again. The potential many have been urging me to see since I was a young one, that I’ve tried to hide from to ‘fit in’.
And that’s really what it is. I only realized that in responding to you and it came to me why people see things in me that I only glimpse in moments of clarity.
Because at some point, I chose not to see me for who I am or can be, and instead have chosen to see myself as less than out of fear of seeming as if I’m trying to be more than others.
My intellect. I refused to really expand it because my adopted parents and other praised me in front of other children and I hated the way that made them feel some times or how they looked at me. Not wanting to use my extensive vocabulary in talks with kids my age or even older out of fear of being called a nerd, or even worse, a white guy.
African Americans will understand what I mean by the last part.
Not only my intellect, but my sensuality. I knew I loved girls from a young age and I knew that they loved me too. It wasn’t until I was shamed for it by family and indirectly made to feel bad or nasty or like I would get in trouble if my parents knew I liked a girl or she liked me. I felt like I had to hide it from them and most of my siblings when me and my old female best friend from childhood would sneak off to make out and crap.
I carried parts of that into adulthood and I’m sure there’s still remnants. In fact, I’m sure there are. I know there are. It’s running titles like Wanted that remind me of… Something more.
Anyways. That to put a bit of background in saying, it’s time to be more, again.
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An online gaming female friend told me yesterday that my voice turns her on and my personality makes her wanna take a trip.
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I’m running Dragon Reborn: Regeneration, for the first time.
This is my first time running Regeneration since Q,I believe.
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It’s insane how fast this sub works. I can already feel my mind relaxing and certain tensions have already begun melting away and there’s a feeling of soft warmth affecting both my head and my lower back. My lower back and my abdomen seem to be releasing something as well.
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My stack that i am considering now - after this washout I’m announcing - is Wanted, Limitless and DRReg
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In my laptop’s notepad, I performed another one of my recon breaking exercises. I was beginning to feel anxious, somewhat paranoid and like my thoughts were not my own.
This has to do with marijuana opening my energetic pathways, which allows various hooks from various sources entry into my energy field.
I’ve been giving decrees and invocations to various ascended beings for hours on and off today, while doing other things like gaming and organizing my room. It wasn’t until I started my recon buster, which consists of writing/typing out ANYTHING that comes to mind, to let it flow from my head/body or mental/emotional, into ‘the physical’ in a safe, controlled form of expression.
I. Feel. Soooo much better, now.
I sense that exercise would have had a similar effect.
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The girl that I mentioned from my online game has now escalated to:
Planning, of her own accord and with no ask from me, to come all the way to California for her birthday, mostly just to see me. She’s in Florida.
Confessing the depth of her feelings to me, to the point that she’s now saying she’s got to back up off of playing with me to get her head right.
Expressing to me that I’m different than other men in just about every way.
Complaining that I can read her better than most women read people and that that, plus m the nonchalant ability to “talk any woman out of her panties” makes me “dangerous”.
Letting slip that playing on the game with me on the mic makes her want to go to sleep, listening to me.
Or.
Using a ‘rose’ toy. I only found out about what that is the other day.
And much more.
I was just reading through the objectives of New Wanted again and yeah…
She’s gotta be going through it.
Oh well. 
↔:wilted_flower:
P.S. I did emphatically state with her asking to come to my state to ‘show me what she means’ in relation to how she feels about me, that I will not be cheating on my lady so that can’t be.
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It sounds similar to Sandy (noodz girl) and her actions on OG Wanted ZP. At least in my case, it was “sudden” interest and sending me pics.
The attention feels good, but yeah, I get not wanting to blow up your current sitch too.
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Washout over.
I am running DR:Reg right now, full, masked. Next will be New Wanted and Limitless, 30 seconds. New experimental stack.
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Kenya was gushing over how hard and full my erection was last night. She was holding it as we were watching Animal Kingdom, and she kept saying over and over how hard it was and that she looked forward to being done with her period so she could have it again.
“No wonder it feels so good.”
Definitely a full recent stack thing, from BDLM to New Wanted, even New GLM I think.
As I’ve said before in a recent post, I’m definitely flaccidly larger and fuller at all times. I can’t prove that my erection is much larger but it feels so, definitely in girth which was what I wanted. Having sex with Kenya, certain positions like her being on top, she has to be careful at certain angles otherwise it goes too deep, or with her knees to her shoulder, I can’t go all out so much. That was how it was in the beginning when we met, but she got used to me before this round of BDLM.
I got her sore the other day from off and on session which again, I used to do in the beginning.
So I believe that I’m longer but 
I haven’t even measured come to think of it.
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A girl whose number I got months ago at Office Depot is a coach at my gym. I haven’t interacted with her since then but she instantly recognized me and I could see was trying to get my attention.
She had popped up on my mind this morning, before the gym appointment, for the first time in awhile as well.
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I’m looking to define for myself what being Wanted means for me.
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Today, Kenya and I went to the gym as mentioned in a previous entry. We met up with our trainer and he had us on:
The assisted pull up machine, which admittedly sucked. The cable row machine which was easier, but not by much.
Then we went to a machine and did leg lifts that targeted the abdominals, and then we did a lower back machine. We hit the recovery machine on the way out and left.
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So, I’ve been running Wanted for these past few cycles since July 28th, before it was updated. The end of this month would make 4 months, so let’s call it like 3 and a half months.
I will be keeping it only at micro loops of 30 seconds from now on. I am running the 30 seconds of:
Wanted and Dr:Reg now. Imma wait on my experimental loop pattern for now.
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Running Ascension Chamber as well, ultrasonic (as were the previous).
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Limitless, 30 seconds, ultrasonic
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My gameplay was sharp af in my game. I think limitless likely. I haven’t been playing with the girl or my other online buddies.
I’m feeling these two particular modules often. One or two particular women seem to flow through my mind and then later on, a certain mani generally appears.
WANTED State
This module makes the WANTED state a steady, natural part of your everyday presence. Instead of trying to “switch it on,” the feeling of being desired flows through you automatically, as natural as breathing, whenever necessary. It settles into your body in a way that feels grounded, safe, and effortless—reflected in your posture, your ease, and your quiet confidence. There is no inner struggle, no need for self-adjustment. You simply exist in the state of being WANTED, and that reality expresses itself in how others respond. Women sense it the moment they meet your eyes or step into your space, because you embody the certainty that attraction is already yours.
Her Hunt, Your Throne
This module flips the usual script of attraction by placing you firmly in the role of the prize. Women take the active role in pursuit—seeking your attention, making the first moves, escalating contact—while you remain calm, centered, and receptive. The dynamic creates playful tension, where she invests energy to win you over and feels more drawn to you the more she does. You don’t chase, you don’t overextend—you allow her to step forward. Each action she takes reinforces your value in her eyes, deepening her desire. The result is a natural reversal where being pursued becomes the norm, and you sit comfortably in the seat of choice.
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