like…testing you? or a verbal flex?
Ah yeah, I mean testing. Contemplating, evaluating. It’s like they’re creating a new mental image of me.
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I remember posting about BDLM turning me into a shower not grower before, when i ran it previously. My flaccid length is definitely increased.
I’m pretty sure my erection length has increased but I haven’t measured so.
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I’m laying in bed, simply focusing on my body. It’s helping emotional and mental tensions to process through. My body is releasing tightness in areas in my head and lower back. Typing this out is further accelerating the process.
I’ll be laying here for another half of an hour or so, simply being present before beginning my spiritual practice.
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It felt good. I’ve held a bunch of nervous, anxious tension in several aspects of my mind and emotional body. Focusing on my heart near the end of my internal focus exercise in particular helped break up many things that were going on within
Doing AM invocations.
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Today is my first day of training at the new job. It’s a fast food job, but $20 an hr is better than $0 an hour. Plus, this position may yet suit me in meeting people that will be useful in my future.
The other job wanted to know if I could come in for training today as well, but I have a gym appointment with my trainer and that’s enough going on for one day. I asked if they have Monday available, they have yet to respond to my latest email.
Either way, with either of these employers, I’m determined to only accept what works for me and make it known that which does not.
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I got here early. It’s time for my training, and my manager stepped out at least thirty minutes ago. I’m seeing a trend of unpreparedness here.
Cool, at least I’m aware.
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I’m detecting that I’m in a state of renewal.
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It’s not necessarily the easiest state to be in…I almost feel like I ran Regeneration or I’m experiencing presults.
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Finished the training for today at the new job, which was just watching videos and a tour of the store, after which I went to the gym.
My trainer took me to the private work out cage, where he demonstrated and walked me through performing bench presses, using free weights. We went up from 10 lbs to 12.5 to 15 for the level bench, and the same for the incline.
I was solely focused on ensuring I got the proper form, so I’m glad he wasn’t concerned about seeing me push any real weight, though by the time we got to the 15 lbs, I had started feeling a bit of a burn.
Bench press: 3 sets, 8 reps, 10, 12.5 and 15 pounds respectively.
Incline: " "
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I hope it wasn’t that idiotic “Give 'Em the Pickle!” shit lol.
Feeling ‘overstimulated’ as they say nowadays. Laying down and creating a fort underneath the blankets.
Lol, that sounds oddly specific. Did I say where I was working on here somewhere?
lol no. I’ve just had 2 wildly disparate jobs before they each showed that godawful video.
Was when I started at Circle K (lol) and a call center.
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Ohh. One of the videos that I didn’t watch today but caught a glimpse of had some reference to pickle in the title lol.
Limitless schtuff 
I was about to ask you if you were running that young RV title 
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Speaking of limitless, my manager complimented my memory when I was able to tell him my employee id number that I had received only a few hours before. It didn’t seem so major to me, it’s only 9 digits but he was impressed.
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Limitless always has a special place in my dark imperial heart.
A friend from church and that goes to my school was hanging out with Kenya and I last Sunday.
He had come over drunk and it was a relapse after being a month and a half sober.
Long story short, he exhibited questionable behavior towards me that had Kenya questioning his and really our sexuality. He actually told me at one point that he was gonna tackle me for a hug if I didn’t give it to him. I had to tell him at least three separate times that I wasn’t going to give him a hug and he kept pressing, which caused Kenya’s brow to raise.
It caused a strange interrogation where she was asking him why he was acting that way to me, if there was something between us (yeah, bro 
) and the like.
He left after I thought the three of us had reached an understanding but nay, she started a terrible fight over it and it was hit or miss as to whether I would be single and homeless unexpectedly that night, honestly.
The reason I shared this is because I had to make a difficult decision. I don’t necessarily think that the guy has feelings for me. But, the touchy touchy don’t fly with me and him taking it that far for a hug, even drunk, after I put my hand up to literally keep him back once or twice wasn’t ok with me.
Plus, during the time he was over, he revealed to us that he had been holding back on certain information about my mother and our teacher (not related info ) that was somewhat useful for me to know. The ‘interesting’ part about him withholding is that there was, to me, no actual good reason TO hold back on telling me what the told us that day.
So, these and a couple of other things that have been building up, like a certain suspicion that he wasn’t holding water as well as it seemed with my business, to put it one way. People that had no way of knowing what I’m on about in my life have knowledge of my doings that I have suspected for months came from him or his family.
Kenya wanted me to be completely done with him. Now, though I was a bit fed up with him, it wasn’t an easy decision. We game together. He’s helped me a TON with school and I’ve learned a few things from him. I know him from church. And I guess subconsciously he’s the last link that I’ve got to my parents that I’ve allowed in my life.
Btw, the concept that what I experienced the other day with him was due to certain developments with Inner Circle: Brotherhood came to me. Seeing as I’m actually the origin of the concept of presults in the first place, I might as well talk about them when I feel I’m having it, which I’ve stopped doing.
The decision wasn’t actually hard to come to. He wasn’t bringing much good to my life, not as much as I brought to his and not more than the…less than savory aspects of his life as I perceived it.
In other words, the pros were outweighed.
I told him yesterday, which was his last day of school. I thought it was best that I at least let him finish out his last week of school before he graduated without this hanging over his head. I told him as much and he thanked me, and I’m glad that I did wait because in the 20 minute drive home - he was carpooling with me - I started seeing him spiral over it all.
Long story short, I mention this because similarly to when I was on Emperor and did away with a shitty friendship, I’m proud of myself for this one.
Not only with how I handled him, but handled myself throughout AND how I handled the issue with Kenya. Surprisingly to me right now, her and I are more solid than ever 
It has been a bit of melancholy in me though, getting on the game and realizing we’re not gonna play anymore (I was completely honest with him and told him we’re not gonna be friends any longer, which idk if I’ve EVER been that frank).
This year, man…
My kids. My bio parents. Now a decent friend. It feels like loss after loss.
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Do you have LPR in your customs/stacks?
I don’t believe so. I don’t remember ever licensing it, actually.
Was curious. seems like the kind of result LPR would bring. Maybe you’re gonna license it and it’s just presults mwahahahaha.
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