They say to sing and dance like no one is around…
I’d rather sing and dance like the entire Universe is watching and I simply don’t care.
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I had my helmet get stolen off of my bike when I was inside of Goodwill.
I mention it here to note this weird occurrence, especially in life of the interesting day that I’ve had (especially on the inside) and to note strange elements to me as I step back.
One, I ignored my intuition that told me to take it inside with me.
“Nah it should be fine.”
I thought about calling for a higher being to guard but thought ‘better’ of it.
Lolsmh@you
Two, I realized it as soon as I walked outside and looked at my bike and got the faintest sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, though I could only see the front tire from my vantage point.
Three, and one of the most important parts of it to me, is that as immediately as it occurred (the realization and subsequent inner reaction(s), I was able to remain firm in the momentum that I’ve gathered today to deny this ‘loss’ entry into my inner sanctum.
- I recall today idly wondering how I could get a new helmet to replace my current (presently former) helmet. My bike is hella silver with black with the secondary color, green being here and there on it. I like my helmet to match my bike. I got this one when I had my Ninja 400, which was red and black.
No loss really except in the money I may have gotten selling it, which I really wouldn’t have done anyway because I like to hold onto spares.
Which brings us to…
- I have the exact same helmet in storage right now, along with a back up back up helmet my lead gave me.
Not today, Satan.
- This was an exercise in forgiveness. It took me under ten seconds (I wasn’t counting) to be amazed at the audacity and careless nature of some guy/girl and then I immediately sought to forgive.
For anyone that may think that my single loop of The Alchemist may be making me too soft, just based off of this account, I actually am running an Emperor custom. I’d say this is good.
- This did not trigger me into a negative spiral at all. In fact, I hopped onto my bike after scanning the area briefly to see if I could glimpse the perpetrator, accepted that I would be riding dirty briefly and took off.
The only ‘skin off my back’ was the tears streaming down my face as I rode down Sahara Blvd but that was due to the elements and nature not giving us inner eyelids like reptilian creatures. No tears for my helmet. Because…
- I can easily afford to purchase a brand new one (it wasn’t cheap) if I so choose.
Next post, since I don’t really know how to properly divide these, I’ll expound on the ‘strange elements’.
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It’s strange to me that someone, walking by a Goodwill, would be able to fix their mind and say, “Hm,” glance around and see there’s no owner in sight. The person would then have to return their attention to the tempting helmet and somewhere in there really ignore the fact that one, this doesn’t belong to them. Two, the owner might be watching and ready to pop out with a healthy helping of hands and three, not realize the owner has to get home without the most important safety gear.
So, though I do forgive and will make certain the forgiveness is full, I will not simply allow this to be… Unregistered with my Higher Self.
Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do type shit.
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No matter how ‘good’ my ‘will’ is, there remains on Earth the possibility that someone will take advantage of a perceived weakness.
Innocent as doves. Wise as serpents.
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So, last Saturday my wallet fell out of my pocket on the way to work on my bike.
My girlfriend and I split up a few days ago (I haven’t mentioned it here)
Yesterday my helmet was stolen. And today, my motorcycle key ring broke and I lost my house key, storage key and some other things.
I see these things as an outer test of my mettle, and I will prevail. Because in a way, my somewhat composed mentality about all of it.
I will carry on as the wayward son because I have felt the promise that there is peace when I am done. I have fought a battle inside of myself for years against forces that have set themselves against me, but the undeniable truth is that what you resist will persist and so I chose to lay my weary head to rest.
For there was never anything to cry over.
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And what you ignore growths in shadows
For sure or are you denying how you’d like to feel?
I don’t know how you’re doing internally and your whole thought process going on, so I just put this on the table the rest is up to your experience
5/28/22
Ran 3:06 of Sagittarium, and 5:00 of Inner Circle.
I’ve decided that I’m going to keep The Alchemist ST1 to one loop a week as I want to gradually build onto my momentum with this one.
I noted in the post above that my girlfriend and I split up. I won’t go into details but I found myself suddenly homeless again. I’m staying with an old friend that ironically, I stayed with when I moved to Vegas out of homelessness.
I ran ST1 the day before I was kicked out.
REGARDLESS of how this reads, I am in no way, shape, or form implying that The Alchemist is to blame.
However, the order of events in my life is becoming more and more apparent to me and I’ve seen this cycle before. It’s time to free myself.
P.S. the single loop of the Alchemist is because, this will be a long term multi for me. I’m not concerned with setting time frames for each stage because one, I can’t know the effect each of the stages may have on me later and two, I see myself benefiting from operating on my intuition with this title over seemingly intelligent discretion.
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Better. I’m forsaking the subtle aspects of my ego surrounding my current sense of crisis 
I answered the way I did because everything is in the post above. Between the lines is the truth.
Edit: Ah, I haven’t journaled yet that a song I listened to caused me to break down for about ten seconds before the issue inside was resolved.
How do I want to feel? Better.
Do I want to feel that the circumstances in my life that seem so real are real? Negative.
Do I want to give my sense of power to this world, based on a sense of identity reminiscent to the house built on sand? Unlikely.
I want to not feel but Be above what I have experienced until now. And I will be.
That’s how I want to ‘feel’.
I’ve gotta create that Alchemist thread already lol, I’ve not mentioned my Emperor custom results even once.
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Lol this was the song on my Spotify paused while I was on the forum. If you wish, listen to this song, reread my recent accounts and you’ll find the answer to your question about how I want to feel.
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I am choosing in my life to swing my personal pendulum into the spectrum of asking for forgiveness rather than permission.
There is not a man, woman, child, or other form of entity that I need permission from to live in accordance with the Law of Free Will, which reigns supreme.
If I tread carelessly, I shall ask for your pardon.
If inadvertently my actions actually harm another living being and not their fragile sense of self, then your pardon shall be sought.
I will no longer live my life in the shadows of this politically correct culture, with our ‘How do you do’s’, ‘Fine just fine’. It aggravates my expressive self and this I will no longer do.
If someone asks me how I’m doing lately, I’ve actually paused and considered my answer. I’m not a robot and I reject society’s programming.
If someone attempts to project their reality onto me nowadays, they’ll find it squarely resting where it belongs - with them. I’ll no longer allow myself to vacation in a house built on a foundation of sand when I already have a Home.
The best part of this post is I can easily state that none of this is reconcilation. Or, another way of saying this is, I’ve reconciled with a lot of the past and will continue to do so until I am free. And there is no freedom in the projections of others onto me.
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Lovely.
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I got a full body (and I mean full body) massage from a dear friend that escalated and turned into a tremendous release (no pun intended) session that happened before I went to sleep; my entire sense of who I am is thrumming with energy 
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Doesn’t seem soft. Just economic.
Something tells me that if you’d seen the stealing person right there in front of you, a number of useful options for action would have come to you very easily. Most of those options would have ended with you riding off on your bike wearing your helmet.
But the person was gone. So you didn’t, in that moment, waste your time on useless actions or emotions.
(note: Mourning is not a useless response. It’s a way of acknowledging and processing an unwanted occurrence of loss. So not a useless response. Driving yourself into a rage over a (currently) imaginary person probably would be.)
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I read the following posts and saw that you’re dealing with a lot right now. And you probably haven’t even mentioned most of it.
Stay strong, friend.
You are finding and establishing your stability.
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I am, i haven’t, I have been and exactly!! Onwards and upwards.
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Don’t you cry no more!
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An incredible amount of change, previously abrupted, is making its way ‘downtown’ for me. Truly tremendous things that I know better than to put on a public journal. Just incredible.
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Interesting.
So, listening to music while out and about, I have noticed that things match what I’m listening to.
When I change the song, there’s a short period of conflict while the separate elements within recalibrate; but then the world matches.
What song has been playing in my mind that I’ve vibed to, but is now ready to change?
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We use this in magick too.
Premodern perspective: The angels are attuned to the language of music and song. If you sing your prayers and requests they will be better heard.
Modern perspective: Music and tonal coherence stimulate diverse brain areas, relating to both analytical detail and comprehensive, integrative experiencing. They stimulate the voluntary and involuntary dimensions of mental process to work in concert and facilitate intra-systemic and inter-systemic harmony and efficiency.
Post-modern perspective: Hey dude, Whatever works, works.
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