Sage - Where There Is A Will

My lead lit up a smoke right now, and my immediate thoughts were that I got the urge to smoke because I saw him doing it, let me pause a moment and see if I’m fine.

As immediately as my thought ended and I went back to reading, I felt immediate golden/airy/warmth suffuse the upper left side of the front and side of my face.

I’m not sure what that’s about, but I also got the impression I should journal it as immediately as possible.

Since I’m here, I suppose I might as well free-flow out some of my goals with my stack. I want to be the very best that I am capable of being working for my company. Or any company/job I may or may not end up with after this one.

That is the current wavelength I’m on. Current, because I’m also more and more entertaining thoughts of getting a side hustle going and maximizing that to upsettingly obscene profit.

Because Sagittarius, that’s why.

I’m also considering leaving the concept of working for someone else behind me and stepping into a mindset of working for myself, to allow myself to build a new paradigm within that I’m entrepreneurial ‘by nature’.

I suppose that if one settles into any state long enough, it becomes their state, by nature

Spirituality goals. I intend to develop my Will, is the overarching idea. Meaning, every other objective pretty much requires me to do this so it ‘will’ inevitably become a theme within this journal. For example, I am getting more into mental alchemy, hence why one will probably find a lot of mentions of hermetic teachings here. To say that I plan to capitalize on my personal aptitudes in this and other areas is saying it lightly.

I also, without getting into it too much, have certain magickal endeavors I’m to pursue more diligently. The creation of servitors, for perfect example, requires concentration, which requires focus, which relies at least in part on the will of the creator.

I also plan to return to my walking towards and within deeper Christ consciousness which, for probably obvious reasons I’ll not talk to much about here.

My goals in my relationship are to obliterate the walls I have around my ability to be love. I word it that way merely because as I see it, we are Love in our core. Our so called negative emotions when I think about it are simply misguided reactions to falling ‘out of love’.

Not love with and of others, though that is a result and symptom I’m sure. No, I mean the love of ourselves, the Love that we are. At our core being. My opinion is that negative feelings are simply a reaction to a perceived ‘lack of love’, and a lack of self awareness.

What do I mean by lack of love. I’m not sure how to word that differently, but, I find that if one is a in state of defense, one is not in love.

“If one finds that there is one to attack within Self, then one is too many.”

What that thought means to me is kinda deeper than I intended, but, the paradigm of separation is duality, meaning one is not connected with Other. If there is the concept of Other within one, there is separation, implying duality, going against the Oneness we are. It goes deeper but I’ll allow myself to keep going.

I didn’t plan on going into love like that, but all of that was to say, I built my Heartsong Custom with love modules galore with no seductive qualities because love calls to me more right now more than anything. I also would hate to manifest the romantic reality I want without the heart to… Stomach it?

Plus, I’m sure that heart blockages are part of the reasons I’ve had certain difficulties

Our primary vibration in the stage of innocence in this life is unattached love. I daresay ‘attachment’ slowly strangles love in just about any aspect of life we humans experience. The aftermath of the All’s…I mean, everything.

I could go through Ishtar’s Gift module by module and state multiple reasons for most why they will contribute great things to my life. In fact, and I am okay with it being just part of the bloom phase, i have already begun to feel modules acting within me in multiple aspects today.

I felt myself wanting to take note of it in the moment, but had the realization that my style of focusing on the things I was seeing and comparing them to my custom was… Wrong.

I felt that…I don’t know how to word it, as new impressions are coming to me to color it differently but I felt that it was actually counter productive to do that and that i should actually just enjoy my freakin’ moment.

However, The Wonder was evident. I was being very mindful of my emotions and observing what was going on within me and man, it’s cool to get on my mind grind cuz I forgot how satisfying inner work can be. I was feeling things come up, feeling my conscious reaction to it, realizing when I was gathering momentum in a direction that was an old beaten path leading to hung skeletons and a warning sign, and immediately, ideas of new ways to look at this or that came up. I resolved quite a few things, all while driving.

Unlimiter I do believe was relaxing me while I was driving, and I noticed this because I was on a 5 mile straightaway coming through Utah and I realized that I kept the 26ft Penske box truck so straight the entire time, you couldn’t scarcely feel we were in motion, besides the small bumps in the road. That’s how smooth it felt. Unlimiter isn’t in my AM custom, so that was a bit surprising.

I experienced the demo of other modules as well, and should I remember, I’ll post a separate entry.

Sage Immortal’s inner mentor thing is the first I’ve noticed today, and I believe that also has a lot to do with a lot of the stuff I’ve experienced today. One impression that came to me is that Sage Immortal connected the channel between me and my Self. Opened my intuition.

I will have more later. Damn, it’s only 1 o’clock?

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Ah yes, another reason I placed quite a few love specific modules in my Heartsong Custom is that I knew I would get Sage sooner or later, and wanted to have modules that complimented it.

I said in the previous entry that love calls to me which is somewhat accurate, but wisdom is and has been my longing and love since I was young. I respected the fact that King Solomon in the Bible asked for wisdom when he could have requested anything. That right there tells me he already was the wisest one alive, at the time. In fact, one of my goals was to surpass King Solomon.

Because Sagittarius, that’s why. Maybe that’s why I have polyamorous inclinations :thinking:

I also think that’s why Athena is my favorite diety in the Greek Pantheon. I’ve always been drawn to Wisdom.

So when I do build my Sage Immortal custom, there will be many aspects, but it will mostly encompass the theme of the cultivation development and use of Wisdom and Manifestation.

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Muzio player, got it. Thank you :pray:

So, while I feel decent enough to run the full stack, I’m going to err on the side of caution with SG and wait until my next play cycle to run it.

Today is limit Destroyer, SoL and IG

I self stimulated to climax last night enjoying a ridiculously pretty dancer’s video. I didn’t have to, and could have easily stopped at any point but actually chose to do it with very little shame and guilt. The mood of the session wasn’t one of unrequited lust, but really just simple self enjoyment. I didn’t even think to look up porn much and the thoughts had the tangibility and substance of mist attempting to keep me from going forward.

Laughable, in other words.

My lower back has a bit of acute pain today and so far, I haven’t found the proper stretch to alleviate it. I need to upgrade my sleeping arrangements sometime in the near future.

I am noticing that with the induction of Sage into my life, the differences between my thinking mind, passive, ‘not me’ thoughts and my I AM presence are becoming more distinctive.

Sage will complement my mindfulness practice well.

I’m proud of myself.

I just realized this earlier this morning that it has been awhile since my monkey mind has chatterered to me about needing to play more loops ‘to get the most out of my session’. ‘Because one loop can’t possibly be as good as two’. And so on. I’m sure many of you can relate, coming from maxing loops out each day to minimizing them took awhile to accept.

I’ve also realized that my willingness to delay the playing of a title in the interest of efficiency, like I’m doing with SG, is a rather new development. I won’t claim that I don’t have the rationalizing thoughts of “you feel fine enough to play it today, so do it then” or “you have SG Ultima, smart one. Use it.” But. I do have the presence of self to recognize that I don’t HAVE to play it every other day.

My results and progress don’t evaporate just because I didn’t listen on a ‘play day’, regardless of what that guy in the back of my head keeps whispering.

Douche owes me backpay in rent

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Sage is also helping me to see how I allow the Outer to color my Inner, and pointing that out.

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I guess this is like allowing the Effect to affect the Cause that I am.

I semi consciously avoided journals of Sage Immortal to make certain I didn’t allow the experiences of others to color my own.

So essentially, the Effect that I caused outside of me is feeding into the causation of my being, creating a loop affect.

I don’t know how to describe this effect, but, Sage is leading me to moment by moment optimal action efficiency as I’m working. I’ll update as realizations occur.

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Moment by moment awareness of old but current patterns created in an unideal mind-state-contrast is evident.

Gentle contrast revealing between my current way of thinking and the goal is truly present.

I have less concern about how others might feel about my actions or words.

Life can be beautiful, if you allow it to be

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I will be keeping track of tips I receive in my job as I have been doing. I’m going to add to that my total amount of debt decreasing in alignment with the new funds coming in.

This may provide a benefit

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I see more efficiency in my work today. I found myself in a state of flow.

More later.

Lol, the street I’m delivering to now has ‘Sage’ everywhere.

The street names, the little area, all have little references to sage in it somewhere.


I received a $20 tip in a sage area lol dope.