Oh boy, you’re gonna have FUN in Sweden once Wanted starts blooming.
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Boy was this journal heavy to read since i related to many of the struggles way before and some even now!
One thing i did not see mentioned is your fashion. In Sweden apperances sadly play a big role. If you got some money then it’s wise to look the part of the ” circles ” you would like to enter
For example you have the ” Walla Brors ”, fellow immigrants who speak broken accent but mostly the ” Walla bror svär på mammas liv mannen ” & wear bland to wanna be street thug clothes etc
The usually learn Swedish together in their own accent & the ghetto mannerisms since they feel unnaccepted by other circles & only themselves. Learning their accent will create a glass ceiling i would avoid!
The rest is bland & boring. The Swedish gymbros, energy drinking - zyn sipping bro circles where they all talk and act monotone
Then you have the occasional ” outsider ” in an all white group. In high schools its usually a very funny asian guy who befriends everyone. It could be also be the ones born here, fully fitting the mold. Think the Persian girl hanging out with 4 more uppity Swedish group etc
Me personally? I like people who are weird, quirky and have a strong sense of self… an originality to them.
I learned to mostly flow in each circle if need be, but i have my own people. Who are fellow black sheep.
As for you, focus on appearances. You may be shocked that it matters far more than you say or speak. Thats one how to get it. Tattoos help alot as well. But once you do, you might feel like it was never worth the trouble. Its too damn bland
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I honestly think you’ll hit these goals and then more some. This latest batch of titles are actually outstanding in terms of results
Cool journal btw
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If I learned anything from Plato’s dialogues, it is that I should not claim any of those things in good conscience. But I will update this journal on a daily basis from now on, and you will see if any of this “knowledge” actually pays off! The proof of the pudding is in the eating!
I often feel like I have, as a result of my early life, been pushed into having too much of the former, and not enough of the latter. The “relentless spirit” is something I am actively cultivating in myself to counter self-pity and that whole paralysis by analysis thing in me that is rather strong.
Much appreciated. I hope you’ll get everything you want in Calcutta. Must be interesting running Wanted there!
Well, one of the Swedish girls on my floor is now calling me her food influencer lol. She used to basically hide in her room, but now she is finally coming to the kitchen and at least engages in short convos here and there about the food I am making. Like all three girls on my floor right now, she says she doesn’t enjoy making food and thinks there is not enough time in the day to make several healthy meals. That is a big turn-off for me. They either make one big one-pot meal and then microwave the prepped meals for half of the week or they just microwave things they get from somewhere. I avoid the microwave altogether. It’s not healthy enough for me and reeks of laziness.
Of course. Whenever I find a trait that is fun and useful to me, I seek to stabilize it over time until it becomes a wholly unconscious habit. That’s the idea of mastery, right?
bhai
Wanted is already working in the background, and from what I can see, it is making me socialize even more than before and makes me want to improve my appearance/wardrobe. Also makes me feel suave from time to time. So it is setting the foundational conditions. I followed the recent reports of people using Wanted in the main thread, and I am happy to read that people are especially noticing the increased IOIs and manifestation scripting, right from their first loop onwards. I hope I’ll experience some of that, or at least figure out what may block these manifestations in my socializing attempts.
I hope so too. These titles are indeed very powerful, hence why I invested what money I had and why I want to run it for a long time.
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I was hoping you’d drop in. I’ve always read your posts with the greatest interest, not just because of your experience, but also because you seem to have made your way in Swedish society as someone who belongs to a group that often get discriminated against for their appearance alone.
I know, and not just in Sweden. I’ll simply show you how I appear in daily life. One pic taken in the gym today(also as a reference for me, since I am running a physical shifting title):
And since the weather is already getting cold, this is what I am usually wearing, when outside:
Anything wrong? Colors look muted enough for me.
Most Swedish guys I see look bland as hell to me. Sneakers, Nudie Jeans, Hoodie or those Patagonia/Northface/whatever Naturkompaniet is selling right now type of jackets.
The other kind is the “preppy” one, which is even worse. Oxford shoes, suits on campus, omega type of watches.
I don’t want to imitate either of them.
While I enjoy hanging around with the Muslim guys and girls here, I most certainly don’t want that Walla Bror accent! In Germany, we have the equivalent that was made by the Turkish German rappers, and is incredibly grating on the ears. Would never fit me, anyways.
I know what you mean. Not a fan of that group, either.
My Swedish friend refers to this as “Swedish breakfast”, which consists of two cans of Nocco(a kind of energy drink) and a packet of snus(pouch of powdered tobacco that people put under their lip). Those Nocco cans and Velo snus packages are everywhere. People are really addicted, and not just the gymbros stuffing the garbage can in the locker room with 1000 Nocco cans every day, but Swedish women also drink that shit pretty much everywhere.
Me too. I find Swedish people to be surprisingly collectivist in their opinions, or rather, lack thereof. People look the same, wear the same, and talk about the same things. I saw more originality in China, even. People fear standing out too much, or being perceived as showing off. But all this false humbleness leads to are more subtle ways of showing off.
Where did you find your own people? Do you ever get into this situation where you feel there is a risk to hanging out with fellow black sheep, more specifically where shared trauma dumping might just reinforce victim mindsets?
Bror, I’ve noticed the prevalence of tattoo studios around every street corner in this city. And they’re always full of clients, no matter what time of the day it is. People enjoy mutilating themselves around here. I come from a Confucian household, where it is believed that you should not mess with what your parents gave you. Chinese originally believed in the sanctity of the human body, to the point that earrings were also considered a form of self-mutilation. And tattoes, in my own opinion, are a strong commitment to something that is akin to a spell cast on your body. And obviously something irreversible.
There are few things girls can do to totally put me off, but tattoes, especially crude ones, are one of them. So I am not going to do that, either.
Since I am close to setting up shop on the dating apps again, you can bet that I am focused on improving my looks, since it unfortunately counts for so much. I am unsatisfied with the hair I grew out. I would like to make it thicker/more voluminous and easier to manage. It is very fine, prone to greasiness and does not respond well to most products. And when short, it has that Chinese property of being uncontrollable and sticking out in all directions like the spikes of porcupine. And when long, it becomes curly like German hair, but the smallest breeze throws it into a wild mess. My father had the same problem.
The last two barbers I’ve been to in the Swedish city of mine have been disappointments. All they seem to know is how to do that same Hitler Youth haircut that we Germans know all to well(incidentally also mostly made by Middle Eastern barbers), with the sides completely shaved or with a “fade”(which doesn’t really work with Chinese hair) and a bit of hair on the top. I’ve tried asking barbers in various countries to try a new haircut that fits my face, and they always either go for that, or that old English haircut, which is also short and just makes me look older. So I am still hesitant about trying another barber here in town. But I need to do something about making my hair look better and less frizzy/greasy.
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Everyone needs to find their own style and this is my personal opinion only:
The issue I see with these clothes and colors is that they are 100% boring and almost NPC like.
Too grey, too boring, too German.
There is nothing unique about these outfits, rather something a secret agent would wear in order to blend in with the dull masses.
Nothing here reflects how your personality is special or what would be so special about you.
With these boring clothes your are only standing out with the long hair, which is cool because this can be used as something that makes you special. But the clothes are working against you in my opinion.
If you cannot blend it with the Swedish masses and be fully accepted by them, maybe go the celebrity route, i.e. dress as someone who is “above them” and that they should be grateful for a celebrity like you visiting their greyish boring country (like what @anon78457040 is doing in Asia with his style).
Again, all personal opinion.
When I was on WB, I got rid of all my polo shirts, because as I wanted man, I can never again walk around dressed like most people are.
Found another free language class. Went there in the afternoon. Was the complete opposite of the language cafe yesterday, as it was taught in English, rather than Swedish. The teacher is good, but I realized that his way of teaching would not be useful for my goals; he has that European academic approach to learning languages, where obscure names for grammar are used to make students memorize various patterns and then drill exceptions ad nauseum. But I just want to to learn naturally, and have good conversations and become able to join local social events so that I can be out and about with people I care about. I am not interested in knowing how to say 223nd of something in Swedish, or other things I will never use.
But then I realized that I had completely forgotten about this genius’s approach to learning languages: https://www.youtube.com/@languagelords/videos
This is the most straightforward and actually hardcore approach to learning a foreign language I know of. That guy dropped a really useful method on youtube, went viral and disappeared. Granted, I do not have the 8 hours he spent on a given language each day, since my main purpose here is not to learn Swedish. But I can still dedicate a couple hours to follow his method.
Didn’t run into any interesting people at the language class. I always wonder why people are in such a rush to head home.
At the gym, I was mentally refining a list I had made on paper several times before, an idea I had picked up from Corey Wayne’s 3% Man. He suggested to think about your ideal woman in great detail, listing what makes her great in your eyes. Then you focus on the top 10 traits you can’t do without, and see the other parts of the list as a bonus, so to speak, since it might be unrealistic to find all of these things in one person. And then the crucial part was to review this list every morning. I guess what this does is that it not only clarifies to you what you are looking for, but also trains your attention to look for it more wherever you go. So this would fit perfectly with the manifestation scripting, specifically the Perfection Manifestation module I added to Wanted.
I’d add to this one idea that I consider to be important for me.
It is the idea that I should only demand something from a woman I can offer myself. If I want a girl that makes me laugh, I should be witty myself. If I want a girl that constantly learning new recipes and enjoys cooking, I should have that trait too. Of course, not everything should match, and I see genders as complementary rather than opposites, but there should be resonance and one should not demand things that are utterly missing in one’s own life.
However, despite having a clear idea about these qualities, I keep running into people with basically the opposite qualities. For example, I place high value on my health and fitness, and I enjoy cooking and baking, but somehow I am surrounded by people that do not care about any of those things. So find places where people that are like minded hang out, right? That is where the problems start. Sport clubs here are very expensive. It is a lifestyle. I can barely afford the gym now. Cooking classes I have not been able to find, and without being fluent in Swedish, it is also not yet practical. The same for my other interests such as philosophy.
Right now, it feels like I am at the mercy of chance.
Thanks for the feedback. Keep in mind that I am German, and that I am trying to figure out how these German friends of mine fit in so well in Sweden, unlike the other ethnic groups. I do want to signal that I am German and not Chinese, because the former actually helps me around here. In Germany, I always thought I could leverage my Chinese heritage as a point of curiosity, but in reality, I simply had to unnecessarily fight against stereotypes all the time, to my own detriment.
As Germans, we do have some shared sensibilities, and one of them is that people fear standing out too much. So people seem to go for 90% NPC, 10% something that makes you slightly stand out, at least that’s how I understand Sweden so far. What Sub.Zero is doing is what I’ve seen Americans do in Beijing all the time, and that’s alright if it works out for him, which I cannot verify myself. Also keep in mind, that I am basically getting my stuff from thrift stores, which even to me feel very similarish and boring, but these are the hand-me-downs that I can afford. I may get lucky and find things that instantly resonate with me and signal something to the world that I can feel fully congruent with, but at this point, I am happy enough if I find something after hours of searching that actually fits on my non-Swedish body and that I can afford.
I’d be the last person to want to give off drab boring accountant vibes, but I also have to consider that peacocking does not feel congruent with me at all. In fact, what makes me me the most is my interest in renunciates and philosophers. They can do what they do because they have left society and people throw stones at them until they become famous enough at the end of their lives. But if there is one thing I have learned, it is that their ways and thought, which resonate with me very much, lead to social isolation or getting executed like Socrates, which is okay for them, but not for me while I am still trying to find my place in the world. Yes, everyone knows about the famous gurus and their effect on women, but it is their fame that pulls. And this has always been a dodgy aspect of guruship, where gurus almost inevitably fall.
So yes, right now, I am trying to find out if I am being German/Swedish enough so that I don’t have to worry about my appearance and can just do whatever I need to do to accomplish my stated goals without something obvious holding me back.
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One can get very stylish affordable non-boring and sufficient-enough-quality clothes from New Yorker. As far as I know New Yorker is available in Sweden too.
It is usually only a few € more expensive than what you get from thrift stores, however having a new and energetically clean (!) item is totally worth it.
Not to sound too esoteric, but cloth do absorb some of the energy of their previous owners and that energy then influences you when you wear that item and may distort what your aura is radiating outwards.
Well, boring and boring flock together. Same as in Germany.
You probably cannot fit in Sweden as a German, because you are not really a German in the sense that you are mentally and spiritually far ahead of most Germans.
Because, since you are here on this forum, working so much on yourself, being open minded to spiritual ideas etc. you are already extremely far away from being “a regular German”.
I am saying this is a compliment.
In fact, I believe if you are trying to become even more German or Swedish and fit in, you are only lowering yourself down from where you are already at.
My advice would to stop trying to become like the NPC’s and embrace your uniqueness and express it fully (just make sure you can pay your bills).
The motto of Sub Club is to “become legendary”, not “be accepted by the masses”.
That “embrace the spotlight” scripting in ASBR also helps a lot with dressing out of the norm and embracing standing out.
And you don’t need to peacock, just adding some bright color here and there will already do wonders.
Anyways, sorry for hijacking your journal with my opinions, I will stop commenting here if you want that.
PS: KHAN Total Breakdown helps to heal that desire to fit in and turns into the desire to distance yourself from the sheep as much as possible.
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I actually really like your line of thought, and I agree. I am just not sure at this point how to pull it off. Nobody here perceives me as a German to begin with, even in terms of behavior or thought, which is natural given my complicated background. I don’t find Germans or Swedes to be sympathetic, they’re not exactly charismatic cultures that pull you in. However, I’ve leaned into my own identity up until now(I used to look wildly different), and it worked against me so much that I began questioning the validity of sticking to my passions and signalling who I truly am, because when you are punished for that your entire life, you begin questioning things. This is the power of peer pressure. Society is a force that compels you to conform.
You can see this very well in Sweden. The Germans succeed, by and large, not only because they look the most similar, but also because it is easy for them to adapt to the Swedish, and this makes the Swedish comfortable. The other ethnicities, especially the Indians and the Chinese, and the Middle Easteners to a certain extent, value keeping their own ways alive, but pay the price which is total social isolation. They get to be with their own people, but they might as well be on the Moon. They are barely tolerared for existing, but they’re just cut off. The ideas of “integration” are laughable around here. It’s virtue signalling by the state.
I think it is possible what you say, and I would very much like that reality. You’d have to have an extremely solid inner confidence in who you are and what you represent, and be completely immune to lack of response and aggression of various kinds. I mean, I know a Japanese-American guy here that got spat on publicly in separate daylight encounters in his first few months here already. He’s left Sweden already. Too hostile for him.
I was thinking of alternative ways, where I avoid attract unwanted attention by dressing inconspicuously, and then through my conversation and actions reveal that I am different. And of course let the aura do its thing.
I will try many things, for sure. But thank you for giving me food for thought!
EDIT:
Oh sweet, it is actually in town here. Gonna visit it tomorrow.
That is most likely true. The good thing here is though that second-hand stuff is really barely worn, practically indistinguishable from new ones, except that they’re 1/20 of the price. Swedish logic.
I am sure it is in the New Wanted somewhere, too. Would make sense.
Yes, by all means, I’ll try.
Dude, this is valuable feedback and much appreciated. By all means, drop by anytime and comment if you see me do something dumb.
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Great! Thanks for your feedback as well.
Some more things I can see here:
Maybe the underlying issue is that you are trying to fit in?
That you are trying to become like one of them?
Because you are envious of how they all accept each other.
How they all vibe together, while you feel ignored?
Nothing wrong with wanting human connection, being accepted etc.
You want what they have.
And you want what you are observing in your daily life.
Envious of how they all accept each other and are “on the same wave lenght”.
But don’t sell out your soul and true personality for this.
The desire for external validation should never justify you giving up your soul’s dinginity and uniqueness.
KHAN Stage 1, Love Bomb, ASBR, GLM are the healing titles that come to my mind here. You are already on the new GLM, which I am pretty sure will help to detach from that need of external validation. Wanting “to fit in like them”, will become an obsolete idea as you will validate yourself completely and just do what YOU want to do.
I understand this bro.
But in the end there are only two main choices here:
a) Succumb to this, give in, continue trying to fit in, maybe one day get accepted by the masses, and in the process kill a part of you true self and sell out your soul, and later on your death bed, resent yourself for selling out…
or
b) …Outsmart those NPCs and find a way how you can be your true self, completely validate yourself from the inside, while still being able to pay your bills, and in the end even rise so far that they all will look up to you like to a celebrity.
If you are truly expressing yourself, there will always be people who will be inspired by your courage and freedom to express yourself. Which is what Bruce Lee did in Hollywood for example.
Find your unique nieche and build yourself as a high status person from there. Until one day, it will be them, who will be looking for your validation.
GLM and WANTED will also help you with that.
GLM will make you self-sovereign and WANTED will help you embrace all your flaws and turn them into magnetic character traits.
Being of mixed heritage will no longer be a reason for “not being accepted” (as your current belief system reflects), but will be the complete opposite: It will be one of your unique traits that will make you even more wanted and special.
How does that success look like?
Being invited to parties?
Being promoted at jobs?
Having a Swedish GF?
Ask yourself what exactly you are really after here?
And what you are even envious about?
Then decide whether you still choose to belief this and define this as the “success” which you are after.
And what would prevent you personally from making the Swedish NPCs feel even more comfortable being around you?
Maybe they can subconsciously sense that you are secretly judging them and your whole interaction with them?
Maybe they can sense that you want their validation and they sense how you tryhard try to become like one of them?
And then they reflect to you back your deep seated fears.
But don’t worry, GLM, WANTED etc. will heal that long term.
You need to completely detach from these identities.
Especially that identity of the “non-Swedisch looking immigrant that is treated like a 2nd class citizen”.
It is a very toxic self-sabotaging identity.
Identifying yourself with concepts like these where you believe that they are holding you back from also being “successful with the Swedes” are doing exactly that: they are holding you back and holding you down!
Yes, and with Sub Club this easier than ever.
GLM, Love Bomb, ASBR, KHAN.
Maybe new WANTED too, I don’t know yet.
Had to sleep on this, but this was a good post. Thank you.
Precisely. It is a reaction to
If I could reduce it to a simple impression that is likely in my subconscious, it is:
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Was myself until I got schooled.
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in School, I first became aware that I actually got perceived differently than others and got beaten up(stood no chance as a scrawny guy), ridiculed and excluded. People thought I had some kind of stoic mindset and called me Mr IDGAF, but this was actually a traumatic response.
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Really leaned into my personal interests, did unusual things, appeared differently and got no response anywhere I went(up until end of 20s)
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Started doubting myself more and more (20s)
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Started observing others to find out what could work(20s)
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Started compromising myself and losing myself(early 30s)
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Still got no response(now in second half of my 30s)
And this was internalized over many years, as you can see. So parts of me got confused and correlate certain things in order to make sense of why things I want do not easily come my way. The most painful part of this is that my mind can viciously attack itself as result of prolonged frustration, and that’s when the self-doubt and self-compromising starts.
The crazy thing is that I found old journals of mine from 15 years ago, and I wrote very similar things to myself at that time, already.
The difficulty that I encountered was basically
- I am aware of what was done to me, and can reflect on this and try to let go.
- However, there was a strange disconnect between my reflections and what I perceived to be the external world. I seemed to make inner progress, but the external world remained the same. This seemed to prove to me that I did not actually reach the subconscious/unconscious level, and that my appearance/the way I held myself still reflected old patterns, therefore I still reproduced the same circumstances that haunted me before. My intellectual understandings were powerless in daily life.
- Unfortunately, this led me to doubt my personal interests and the things that make me, me. The one true pattern in my life was that I was gifted philosophical/spiritual teachings from early childhood onwards, even if I tried to hide from them. The same way some people are showered with wealth or girlfriends, I always ended up in places were I either saw or received very unusual teachings and things. However, and this is the ironic part, I always saw it as something separate from my “worldly” life. I didn’t allow myself to apply to my knowledge to help me succeed in daily life, which I strictly separated. At one point, I was asked to go further into Neidan and let my sexual organ shrink. But I had and still have this really high sex drive, which has been active since early childhood(I was humping chairs, trying to orgasm when I was 3-4 years old already, always seeing multiple faces of women I had never met in this life). So this created incredible inner tension through unresolved desires.
So while I was well-aware that I was desperately looking for external validation, I felt like I could do very little about it. Hence the move towards compromise. Both sexual desire as well as the desire for warmth in human connections are some of the most powerful forces I can think of, and if you have no outlet, this creates both a scarcity mindset and desperate measures.
With a) it is not just that it kills part of your true self, but the very attempt to be someone other than yourself kills the possibility for being truly magnetic. The magnetism comes from being truly coherent with your true self and well, inhabiting it confidently. I know this, but not deeply enough to be fully convinced of it. You know what I mean? There is something that has resonated with me deeply before, but which I have yet to truly internalize:
By continually sacrificing your personal integrity for a woman, you are abdicating the very attributes which women desire in a man. By completely giving yourself away, you leave nothing left to be loved.
Of course I want to go with b), but I realised a while ago that this more accurately describes an “end state” I would like to be in, but the crucial part is “find a way”.
The question comes down to the idea of becoming whole and wholly self-sufficient. This is where you overflow with life and naturally attract attention, which you actually don’t need at that point. It is the seeming paradox of attention flowing in when one no longer needs it.
The question that I asked myself a year ago was: “I am whole or am I trying to fill a hole in myself?”.
And the clear answer I got from myself that I was a desperate black hole, and not like the sun. And nobody wants to be around a black hole.
However, I also did not make the connection that my spiritual practices would be pointless if they did not help me approach this state of inner fulfilment that I am actually looking for.
Both my desire for female companionship as well as spiritual enlightenment are essentially desires for union, stemming from awareness that I feel incomplete inside.
At some level, I am pretty sure these are not that different from each other. But I realized some time ago that asking people to be their true Self and find complete inner fulfilment is a very tall order, and essentially describes the end point of many forms of spirituality.
For me, personally, the key seems to be to no longer create artificial dualities and to actually implement and test the things I have learned in my daily life, which should help me reach both my “worldly goals” as well as the lofty philosophical ideals I hold. If I don’t manage to do this, all the things that were given to me were given in vain. I have often felt like the worst hypocrite for lecturing people outside of the forum on esoteric teachings and the like, while being almost completely unable to solve very basic human needs in my own life.
So, on some level, I actually do know how to find my way, and I am currently in the process of experimenting what I can do that will actually power this process instead of making everything unstable, as before. To give an image, I have been very talented at creating conditions where two different horses were pulling me into opposite directions and ripping me apart in the process, rather than working as a team towards a common goal and getting me there more smoothly.
Of course. This is one of the main reasons I am running GLM to begin with. I am so conditioned to look for external validation, despite what lofty things I might say, that there is no better title for me to run at this point. And my first journal was about running Khan. I wasn’t prepared at that time. I also ran Love Bomb for a considerable amount of time and hey, it has helped me a lot just like Sanguine did, but interestingly, on my Alchemist run during the summer, I got a very clear message from my subconscious:
"Don’t focus too much on healing because you personally misuse it as a way of going out and taking action. You love paralysis by analysis and mental gymnastics. Consciously work against your early ingrained perfectionism and get yourself out there to make healing experiences. "
My mind, because of all the desperate neediness for external validation, puts a lot of importance on what happens “out there”. So with this stack, I really want to keep at it and play in that arena, and not hop from one healing modality to the next, putting me in eternal therapy. I want to experience life and be a participant. And I dearly hope I will be able to see through this duality I have set up for myself. I understand intellectually that my mind creates the circumstances “out there” and that everything is happening inside of my mind, but my subconscious is still only taking things “out there” as proof.
This is a current issue I am working through.
That’s the dream. I already know my archetype and niche, but I feel the strong need to prove things to myself first before I dare teach anything to others. Anything else feels hypocritical to me.
That is also something I’ve dreamed of. It doesn’t ring true to me that being of mixed heritage could be the reason for not being accepted, but rather it caused a chain of events that cornered me into developing automatic reactionary patterns, rather than being a conscious creator. I move through a set of reactionary habits and thoughts that do not serve me, but they’re so deeply ingrained that it is a slow process to untangle them. GLM really helps you distance yourself from your emotional reactions, and it is quite painful to observe these patterns and how helpless you have been at managing or transcending them.
For me personally, I define success simply as follows:
- to truly know myself so that I do not regret going down false paths that are not my own.
- to succeed at the male quest, which I define as breaking through my self-imposed limitations and attaining true freedom in life, meaning that I am no longer the playball of forces I do not understand, and to be independent of external opinion, and grounded in a a total form of self-understanding. To be a conscious creator that is able to help others because he has went through the lessons himself already.
This is the long-term spiritual goal of mine. As mentioned above, somehow I have become more aware of my more pressing short-term goals here, and that includes all you have listed above, and yes, the only reason I bring the Germans into this is because I regularly meet them and see them easily attaining what I want. So of course my mind jumps to conclusions, whether true or false. At a conscious level, it sounds ridiculous, but I am aware that my mind basically asks itself: Hey man, aren’t you supposed to be German yourself? Why can’t you?
Hence the envy and desire to fit in.
I do not even particularly care about Swedish women for example. I just realized that I may be here awhile, and this is who I am going to meet on a daily basis for years, probably. Might as well make the most out of it. I observe the fate of my foreigner/immigrant friends around here and as mentioned before, I do not want to share that same predictable fate but rather break out of this prison I am currently inhabiting. Perhaps my only saving grace is that I’ve always felt a desire to rebel against my conditions, hence my fascination with philosophy and religion.
Precis, as the Swedish would say.
It’s all a mirror of what is going on inside of me, which is why I hesitate blaming my environment or playing the victim whenever I get out of the recon fog.
I have recently spent a lot of time wondering how I can open up my body language, since I am experiencing strong periods of inner silence and relaxation but still feel like I am unconsciously giving off closed-off vibes. When I look in the mirror, I don’t like what I am seeing on my face. I see that I am the spitting image of my mom’s extremely judgemental face.
There is another surprising disconnect between how I feel and what my face expresses. Like I can be meditating and feel very peaceful and open, but people looking at me will think that I am uncomfortably intense and stern looking. My ex told me she has often been scared of the way I look, especially my eyes, as she says that I almost always look like I am intensely contemplating something or about to say something harshly critical.
The latter part I likely copied unconsciously from my mom, but the former seems to have been the result of being cornered and forced to reflect a lot on things. At my age, this now seems to have crystallized on my face and it does make people uncomfortable.
I still carry the unconscious expectation of being attacked physically and mentally, even though the former hasn’t occurred to me since childhood. It has been hell of a journey to be able to move in a relaxed manner in public.
I have very sharp facial features with very low body fat and sunken cheeks. This is one of the reason why I don’t think that the short masculine haircut barbers always want to give me is the best idea, since the long curly hair seems to soften up my appearance a bit, at least.
Then there is the issue of relatability. Since I was excluded from groups since I was a little kid, I went my own way and all of my philosophical and religious investigations are the result of that, which became a hidden blessing for me. But unfortunately, I let this get to my head, and I developed a “holier than thou” attitude. I was using my learnings as a prop to insecurely try to prove that I have some worth, but all this resulted in was the loss of being able to relate to others. Instead of philosophical inquiry helping me solve my problems, I used it as a additional high wall around me, which made me unrelatable.
This has become much better in the past 5 years or so, mostly thanks to my ex-girlfriend.
Combine this with the deep-seated fear of being excluded and desperately wanting to fit in and experience warm human connection, and you get the troublesome vibe I am sending out.
The crazy thing for me has always been that I am able to analyze and understand how almost everything in my behaviour and appearance has come to be, but there is this maddening inability to truly unroot this complex web of problems despite having good tools available. And ironically, most of what I want are very simple things, actually.
Recently, I have to laugh more and more about the idea of me, which is not unlike the attempt to study nuclear physics just to cook some rice.
Of course this is a toxic self-sabotaging set of beliefs. You surely can see from the above how I came to internalize that crap.
There is a good reason why I wrote a few days ago that it would be helpful for me to not even think that I am somewhere in Sweden talking to Swedes, but rather let go of all these limiting concepts entirely so that I can walk into encounters free from the burdens of assumptions.
I have always admired some people’s ability to radiate a completely accepting aura that is non-judgemental and that make it easy for people to open up to them. They are a joy to be around.
The very reason I am turning to these subs is that I am aware that with these things, conscious thinking about it may not be enough to change myself in such a radical manner. This is the same reason why I’ve rejected purely intellectual forms of philosophy and therapies. There are so many layers to a human being, and I am trying to unravel my limitations bit by bit.
In fact, I see the spiritual path for me like an onion with practically infinite layers. Right now, I not only want to be able to perceive the layers, but change them with experimental proof.
Again, thank you for taking your time to engage with me!
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National identity can be a powerful thing, especially for you with a mixed heritage. But why not transcend this? Why not see youself as a European? Then there is one less boundary between you and the Swedes. Once you are there, why not go further and realize you are a citizen of the world? Sure, there are cultural differences and language barriers, but you are learning and working on integrating the local differences of the particular place you are now residing in.
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Bro im doing wanted and glm as well, so trust me when I say this.
Women Will find you a joy to be around and glm will detach you from all this overthinking. The new tech in wanted is amazing. Your in for a treat.
I like your long hair, if the male barbers are not good find a female barber or someone who cuts for girls. Maybe they know what style you want.
And have you tried learning Swedish online, through zoom or something.
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This is something I had to come to terms with as someone who grew up racially-mixed in America
I had the benefit of growing up in a massive city with lots of ethnic diversity
Here, for the most part, no one gives a shit about who you are.
El Salvadoran? Greek? Italian? Chinese? African? Australian?
No one cares, no one is trying to put you in a box, no one gives a shit who you are.
It frees you up to present yourself however you like, in whatever way is most congruent to you.
For example, I’m “Latino” and have gotten the dominican fade haircut and all this other shit to try to fit in, but it felt weird and incongruent. These days I dress like a preppy white guy because I love that 1960’s JFK old money preppy look. And it works for me not because people react well to it, its the opposite, people react well to it BECAUSE I feel good with how I’m dressed
I’d encourage you to stop putting yourself in the box of “German”, “half-Chinese” or “non-Swede” and just find a style that makes you feel happy and sexy when you’re dressed up that way
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I have slightly longer, curly hair, and my current hair stylist is a woman. I second this sentiment. They are better when it comes to hair, unless you go to a really expensive guy
30s GLM + 30s Wanted
Had to go back down to 30s on both and this seems to induce the right amount of action and low enough recon to be able to go about my day smoothly. 1m two days ago induced pressure in my forehead, almost headache-like, within an hour of running the loop and made me swing wildly between states of serenity and feeling despair.
The 30s loop today felt just right. Calm, relaxed way of walking, shooting confident looks at people that drew my curiosity. For the first time, just as I left my building on the way to the gym, I walked past a Slavic looking woman that held my gaze for a long 5 seconds before looking away. It was so intense I was genuinely surprised, because up till now, I was used to the people meeting my gaze and immediately looking either to the left or right. She didn’t smile, but I’ll count it as an IOI. What also surprised me that I felt no urge to stop her right there, but just calmly acknowledged her interest.
In the gym, I was in-between sets of shoulder presses and breathing heavily. A woman, might have been one of the personal trainers, came in, looked at me and cracked a quick smile. So they can smile.
On the way home, I found the street with the New Yorker, unfortunately it had just closed. Will look for more color another day, then. Went to the ICA grocery store to stock up on yoghurt and fruits, and was surprisingly greeted by one of the employees stocking the shelves. That hasn’t happened before.
Went home and found the Tajik Afghan Swedish neighbour of mine sitting in the kitchen, wearing headphones, as usual. Starting mixing my Yoghurt while asking her in Swedish how she was doing as she looked exhausted. She replied that, for the first time in weeks, she hadn’t studied the whole day and was just chilling. Was surprised at myself how I smoothly offered her a way to take her mind off things by inviting her to tag along on the weekend to visit some of the second-hand shops I intend to visit anyways. This was my second attempt, as I wanted to see if last time I invited her out she was merely too busy or worried about her exam.
Unfortunately, she replied that she doesn’t need anything from the shops and politely thanked me for the invitation. She put her headphones back on and didn’t try to keep the convo alive(awkward silence), kept her back turned towards me and left the kitchen shortly afterwards wishing me good luck with my Yoghurt lol.
Oh well, that was a pretty clear sign she is not interested. I am barking up the wrong tree. Too bad, I thought she’d be more exciting than the Swedes I know, and like her energy and smile. Even if I did not consider her as someone I could date, I would like to get to know her better as my direct neighbor. Funny thing is, she and her sister complained to me two weeks ago that it was hard for them to make friends with Swedish people when they grew up in Sweden. I am starting to see why.
I don’t want to put a label on me, anyways. I don’t think anybody enjoys putting themselves in a box. I’ve always wanted to be a citizen of the world and pull down those artificial boundaries.
But it is easier said that done, especially when people make sure to let you know that you are not free to escape from the box they put you in. Most of my experiences were the opposite of what Prioritas just mentioned: I grew up as the only “asian” guy in town, I had nobody to relate my experiences to, and the only other minority that was there(Turkish guys) particularly liked beating me up. It is an interesting turn of events for me that the group I get best along with since my early 20s have been Muslims wherever I go.
But yeah, the progression was
- I am just me, with no artificial national boundaries (pre-school age)
- Shit, people put me in a box and I can’t get out(up until 30s)
- Man, I want to go back to the natural identity I had before schooling began(now)
The reason I mentioned the subconscious pattern above is just because I became aware of it, and I do realize how silly it looks written down. I am just acknowledging that it does exist in me, for obvious reasons. In Germany, I always wanted my half-German background to count for something, and my Chinese part to add to my charm, but it didn’t quite work out that way. In Taiwan, I neither get treated as a Chinese person(and get excluded as a result) nor do I get treated as a white foreigner. But that is another story. I trust that most people will have an easy time understanding most of what I am talking about, but the Eurasian experience growing up in highly ethnically homogenous environments is hard to relate to for most people, I believe. Even my own father has difficulty relating to me in that regard. Eurasians I have met instantly get me, though. They are a surprisingly hard to find type of bunch, though!
I sure hope so. Like quite a few members reported already, there are moments where I feel like it is an inevitability and that there is this ocean of possibilities in front of me waiting to be explored.
I just realized that I find the concept of women finding me a joy to be around pretty far out of my reality, still. My ex that I shared good times with left me several years ago. Seems a long time ago now.
Just to have someone that is actively trying to keep the convo alive would already be worth the price of admission for me.
Thanks. Yeah, already found some female hairdressers. Just need a layered cut that cleans up the messy parts a bit and I’ll be good to go. Last guy did a horrible job with uneven sides on a short haircut and cut me up above my lips during the shave, then prided himself as the best barber in town and audaciously charged me 500 SEK/50€ and casually wiped off the blood from my face as if nothing had happened.
The German guy I met a couple days ago passed on to me very good resources, and coupled with the method I linked to further up in this thread, I think I have figured out a fast and sustainable way.
Going to the classes is just another way for me to meet people, since I can’t find more regular events to go to yet in this city. I am struggling with finding regular social events to go to, ones where I get to meet new people.
1m GLM + 1m Wanted (yesterday)
Last two days have been very intense.
Yesterday, I woke up after nearly 12 hours of sleep, unusually long and restful sleep. I felt so refreshed that I immediately thought “hey, let’s try going back up to 1m from 30s and see what happens”; the last time I did this, I was hit by characteristic signs of overload within an hour of running the loops: intense mental fatigue and short burst of headache like symptoms.
This time around, it was not as strong, with less fatigue and no headache like feelings, but a few hours in, I noticed this intense feeling of processing, which is surprising to me considering I’ve been running this custom GLM for up to 2m and for more than a month already, and have worked on quite a bit in my daily life, and for Wanted it is the 8th loop already (running since the 6th of this month), and given that they’re name-embedded too, I had assumed I’d more easily process them or get used to them.
But this is not so. So the question is. Why this sudden intensification of recon?
I personally think that a part of me is like a small child that is putting up a lot of resistance to the suggestions. It is starting to feel cornered. And right now, this is the first valley between peaks for me. How do I know? All external signs disappeared and since late yesterday I have experiencing intense recon in the form of a constant low-key panicking state. In the last month, I hadn’t gotten any prolonged recon at all, and whatever I felt was resolved quite fast. The new anti-recon is wonderful in this regard. But this thing right now is intense, and made it even difficult to fall asleep yesterday. An intense feeling of “inner crying” in the chest, along with bursts of negative thoughts, combined with feeling cortisol or something like that being released. I know this feeling of unease when that fight or flight/panic state sets on and some hormone(probably cortisol) floods my body and this has been going on since yesterday. Only late this afternoon today it has somewhat calmed down, after me literally taking any step known to me of working this out.
I was hesitating to update my journal when this was at its most intense, as I knew I’d just be recon whining. But I still tried to make the most out of it by first journaling privately, hitting the gym hard, then going for a walk in the (cold) Swedish sun, and then sitting down to write to my ex, who I had been meaning to update on my situation anyways. Of course, the emotions came flooding out and I carefully looked this over and saw the patterns emerging: all the dissatisfactions and frustrations with my social life here were there, some vain attempts of making it sound more controlled than it actually is, then I felt compelled to sit down and meditate for 3 hours gazing into the dark and thinking of nothing. About 2 hours in, I could feel an overload of energy in my head region leaving and relieving me of most of the “pressure” I had been feeling. Then I started sending my mother messages, as she had been asking about my situation as well. And oh wow, even more trauma dumping there. Again, I carefully recorded what I was saying.
Now this may sound off, but this is a feature of GLM right there. I was having intensely emotional outbursts and not so random memories from my childhood, and I put this into text. But at the same time, I was able to distance myself like a lab scientist and go “oh hey, another bottle to analyze”.
Being very introspective by nature, I already have this ability honed, but GLM improved this further.
The main themes are:
- desire to detach from external validation, but also the realization how much I am chasing it due to:
- lots of anger at things I had no control over as a child, but deeply influenced by view of society as a result; growing up in fear of my mom, then getting badmouthed and despised by neighbors, and then bullied and ostracized throughout my schoolyears. Layers upon layers of social rejection that led to many defensive behaviors just to find any kind of self to hold onto. Self-esteem got damaged a lot in this phase.
- wanting to integrate and reach out socially as a kid, but getting frustrated so much that I developed a lot of introverted hobbies as a result. This hurt my ability to socialize in loud spaces or relate to extroverts. But I am still that kid that just wants to be recognized as existing.
- frustration over perceived lack of shared interests/commonalities with others due aforementioned pushback into an introverted space where I had to entertain myself. My mom experienced the same frustration, she had no one to play with due to huge age differences and grew up playing alone and was neglected by her mom. My father lost his mom and then lost the ability to speak coherently and got socially isolated as well.
- because of the last point, I basically ended up not really turning German, because I wasn’t really allowed inside of German social spaces, which is why I learned English so that I could explore online spaces. Only found somewhat like-minded people online, but never in my city where I actually lived.
Basically, this is at the root of my search for external validation and the wish to integrate in some way.
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I see the environment and society “out there” as fundamentally hostile and rejecting. First 25 years of my life this got instilled rather deeply in me, as it felt like my daily lived reality. Right now, in my thirties I am working with this idea that the world out there is merely a reflection of the assumptions in my mind, and that it technically is an ocean of possibilities for me to explore properly, but this wounded kid in me is like “are you kidding me, that’s not what I see! I got no choice!”, i.e. extreme scarcity. This creates inner friction. A part of me does not believe yet. It wants hard evidence, and hard evidence seems, for me, to be defined in surprisingly materialistic terms: it wants to see people behaving the opposite way they had when I was a kid, whether reasonable or not.
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the wish to fit in and find my people is so strong that at several points in my life, I had been willing to sacrifice almost everything about me and my values to get it. And it wasn’t even worth it, as I ironically did not end up fitting in, but I did lose respect for myself. So I got duped. Multiple times, as painful as it is to admit. The pattern has repeated itself, up until now. This wish is very deep, as it had been a constant undercurrent since I was born.
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my sense of self is still rather fragmented. Coherence is difficult because I jumped onto certain identities not out of creativity, but out of pure fear, and this is never a good idea. For example, one of the few defense mechanisms as a child was that I had an easy time with intellectual tasks. As a kid pushed into a solitary lifestyle, your mind is all you have. So duh, I developed it. But do I enjoy overthinking or do I even value the idea of being an intellectual? No. I know enough about religion and mysticism to know that the intellect has its use, but is not everything. To define myself by it is foolish and was just used by me once to give me a feeling of false superiority. Once is actually the wrong word. It is still there, in more subtle forms. But if I don’t have a firm and coherent self, I can easily be seduced into sacrificing my identity for the feeling of belonging.
What are possible solutions I can practically take to resolve these long-standing concerns of mine?
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since my dreams reveal that I still retain much hate for the people in my childhood, I need to realise that I can not drag this burden with me for my entire life. I need to realise that everyone suffers from ignorance, not just me, and that most people around my just automatically replicated patterns they learned unconsciously(like my mom tried her best, but she unconsciously replicated the same patterns from her mom) and as ugly as it is, schoolkids seem to automatically pick on the weaker and different looking guy in the corner, without knowing any better. The same people would probably think quite differently about it now as adults(at least, that’s my hope). As cliche as it sounds, I need to let this go. It’s shit that it happened, but it just does not serve me at all. Of course it is unfair that I have to deal with this while others get fueled by empowering and happy childhood memories and get this nice positive feedback loop right away, but since I cannot understand right now why some people get a specific fate, and others get a different one, I need to deal with mine best I can. The only meaning I can see in this is that no matter the experience, everything is fuel for a learning process of some kind.
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I need to become more and more aware of fake, constructed identities I hold onto, which all originated in fear and were temporarily necessary to give me a sense of me and some sense of propped up self-worth. I need to deeply realise they are not me, ultimately. This is an actual spiritual process, in my opinion. Like undoing and seeing through layers upon layers of an onion, until the real Self comes forth and shines. I want to be authentic and fully, consciously me, just like everyone else. But I can only get there by knowing what’s fake in me. And this is where I can link my spiritual practices with what I formerly and artificially separated into my “worldly goals”. They can and should be working in tandem, and not against each other.
I notice that I still do a lot of performative type of actions, especially around attractive women. This is the same problem. Feeling of unworthiness or insecurity, leading me to believe I am not good enough as I am → performances in a desire to impress. I want to get to the point where I feel attractive, as I am, even if I am sick on my bed with messy hair. -
engage in somatic release and exercises specifically designed to soften up and clean energetic blockages as well. I am particularly eying daoyin like the yijin jing, in the version by Robert Peng, for this purpose. Years ago, I already discovered the TRE process, but only engaged with it for a few weeks, and stopped doing it when the strongest tremors disappeared. I need to do this for much longer. There are quiet a few traumas that I am pretty sure cannot be dealt with through cool, intellectual inquiry. They are stored in various unconscious places, but still steer me against my will.
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I really want to lean into the idea that has recently become a favorite of mine. To walk around without an acquirement-based mentality. My old desire for companionship led me down the PUA and then the Red Pill movement, as it did for many others of my generation. It took me years to cure myself of the poisons I ingested that way. For example, it occured to me that it is kind of funny that PUAs teach various band-aids for dealing with “approach anxiety”, but come to think of it, you never feel approach anxiety when “approaching” a wall or a tree, do you? That’s because you don’t want something from it, you don’t seek to “acquire” something from them. With a “hot woman” you suddenly do, and hence the nervousness, because of worries about potential bad outcomes.
It makes intuitive sense that rather than a black hole, we got to be like a sun, which unconditionally gives out its energy. And we can only give energy if we’re already full with it and overflowing.
This directly ties into the aura generation aspect of GLM and Wanted.
Of course I don’t feel the aura right now and don’t see its effects. With all my ruminations and feelings of loneliness and anxiety, the aura must be contracted to begin with. I need to steer my practices towards actually stabilizing a deep sense of inner stillness and self-fuelled happiness I can share with people, before I can expect to see mind-boggling results with the aura.
And ironically/paradoxically, by the time I can generate this aura, I might no longer care about this effect. But I definitely need to go in this direction, rather than feel self-pity or ruminate in negative thoughts. They just kill my energy tank, so to speak. -
Go even deeper into my dream analysis. As mentioned in the GLM thread, since running the custom GLM, I have been getting a whole string of GLM related dreams that are deeply symbolic and mostly about resolving issues around the need for external validation, and the desire to become my own rule maker.
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True, social or inner circle that you much faster result because there’s less deep in our work to do,
And faster results give you more foundation to get deeper results from wanted,
True social or Innercircle would give you so much more mental material to work with that. I really think that they’ll get you faster results with wanted.
I think they both also do a really good job helping you connect with Swedish people more, since they’re more directly involved with communication, and would help you learn how to communicate with Swedish people in a way that resonates with them since you’ll be very focussed on learning more about how to communicate with the person in front of you with depth and impact
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Let me get this straight. Do you mean to suggest to replace Wanted with either Inner Circle or True Social? Keep in mind that I am taking lots of action on the physical shifting part, so there always needs to be a title of that kind in my stack.
From what I understood from your post, you mean that these titles would provide faster results compared to sticking to Wanted right away. These titles have different goals, though, right?
And isn’t Wanted already as foundational as it gets, along with GLM? Wanted is already the foundation of Wanted Black, isn’t it?
I mean, they made it extra accessible this time around, and I am running it at microloops. I am getting a lot of noticeable results from GLM, as outlined in the thread, and it shows up in most of my dreams as well. Strangely enough, I’ve not had a single dream that is obviously related to Wanted, except for an erotic dream a few days ago(I don’t have those often). I’ve run the New Wanted 9 times now. Bit more than half a month. And yes, the results have been slow/minimal so far, even though I am trying to closely observe things. But right now I am wondering how True Social or Inner Circle would change/speed things up or if this would even be advisable for me. I really don’t want to hop from sub to sub just because results don’t appear immediately.
It doesn’t seem to me to be the case that communication is the main issue here. The issue is having access to places where I can execute on Wanted and let it shine.
If I met new Swedish people everyday, and I struggled to socialize with them, then maybe True Social would be useful. It requires daily socialization to shine, right?
But right now, the main issue seems to be that I don’t have ways to even meet new Swedish people on a daily basis. I would love to know a social space around here that doesn’t charge me money every time I go there, like the sport activities and so on. I am not on the main campus, so I can’t participate in the university activities(which are Swedish anyways). There’s the gym, which is financially straining me, but I want to improve my appearance, so it is a must. But it is not a social space and people ignore each other there. Don’t see people meeting my gaze there either, so far.
I was thinking extensively today about how exactly to meet my niche individuals, since I added Perfection Manifestation to the Wanted Custom. I realized that I don’t have a direct way towards it yet, and am hoping too much for sheer chance encounters.
The thing is, I know exactly the type of girls I am interested in, and I also know my interests and abilities as well. But I don’t find social spaces where I could find them. My main interest is in philosophy and spirituality, but I find zero activities related to them. Way out of the city, there is one New Age guy that charges a lot of money for his retreats that I am not interested in.
I keep searching everyday for something related to my interests here, but there is not much happening in this city. It is a protestant Christian place. For Christians, I immediately found a huge offering of social activities if you’re willing to be converted to their faith, but I am not. In Stockholm, I’ve already found various places that would likely for me to run into people I am interested in, but alas, I am not in the capital city. Things like meditation retreats don’t fit into my uni schedule and I cannot move to another city at this point in time.
I thrive on 1 on 1 dialogues, deep conversations over coffee, that sort of thing. I feel extremely out of place in loud nightclubs and am particularly bad at dancing(my ex gave up on teaching me when I requested her to help me out with that). I am also not into drinking. But I need to get people into that 1 on 1 setting I actually enjoy first. The people I’ve asked out so far have come up with all sorts of excuses, which I interpret as a lack of interest. It does not seem to me like that is a communication issue. I reach out, but meet with lack of interest.
Hence why I am running Wanted and doing my best to work on my appearance, as Saiyan4Blue has emphasized to me.
As I understand it, modules like Perfection Manifestation make it so that you unconsciously seek ways of meeting people who might be into you, or discover social spaces where this can happen. But I am hitting blocks here. I am even checking all of the advertisements whenever I drive to the main campus for any social events I could participate in. But there just isn’t much to join that I can reasonably participate in. If the manifestation modules inside Wanted are designed to make you notice/manifest more individuals in the environments you are already in, I haven’t come across them yet, or something in me is blocking this. But then I’d like to know what this block is and how I can dissolve it.
I am just wary of sub hopping right now. I’ve done that before, and it didn’t work out for me.
If I understood it correctly, the manifestation scripting in Wanted should be enough, especially given that I doubled down on this with the custom. It should provide some opportunities as I go about my daily life. I would already feel comfortable to approach if I get a smile or prolonged eyecontact.
Maybe True Social or Inner Circle could help me stumble upon more opportunities which I can join as a foreigner? To be honest, Wanted should already do that, no?
From what I’ve learned here so far is that Swedish people are actually quite social with each other, but have little to do with foreigners and put them in a different box than their friends once they’re forced to use English with them. But if you only speak beginner Swedish, they go back to English and you’re back in the box where they feel like they can’t express themselves well. But I can’t get to C2 in Swedish in a few months.
The main thing I am trying to figure out right now is how to get
a) more opportunities to actually meet Swedish people without breaking my bank account
and
b) keep them interested in talking to me in easy Swedish so I can actually learn
This overlaps exactly with what I am trying to figure out with my romantic life
How to get
a) more opportunities to find girls that are interested in me, either Swedish or not, I don’t care about their nationality or ethnicity
and
b) keep them interested so that I can actually have a meaningful conversation instead of hearing all these excuses where they always need to leave right now or retreat to their room
Right now, it does not feel like I am not getting something secret about Swedish communication that I have to learn, but rather that I am either putting out the wrong energy or don’t look attractive enough to get the attention and keep it. And of course, speaking fluent Swedish should help, but this will take a lot of time and I can’t make this happen overnight. And given how most people here actually speak perfectly fluent English, something tells me that this is not the main barrier I am looking at.
So shouldn’t the GLM+Wanted be enough, as it is?
As should be obvious from the post here, I mainly struggle with even finding spaces where I can meet people, rather than communicating with them.