Running Wanted+GLM for a year in Sweden

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#1

This is my second journal. I consider my first foray into subs(three months of Genesis, and then Khan) to have mostly failed, as I mostly ran them outside of their proper context and couldn’t take proper action. I made some progress in understanding myself better, but not to the point where changes became very visible in my external circumstances.

However, I learned a few things over the last two years that make me believe that I can do better this time, because I

  • understand my patterns of recon fairly well now

  • no longer doubt that these subs work, and it is up to me to make the most out of them through understanding myself more and more and taking aligned action

  • can now stubbornly stick to a smaller stack for a prolonged amount of time until I actually manifest the goals I want

Yesterday, I finally received the second name-embedded major for my stack, which I intend to run for at least a year straight, no matter what.

They are:

GLM + I am Atman Synergy

New OG Wanted + Perfection Manifestation Synergy

Why? What is my situation like and what do I want to do?

I have been living in a city in Sweden for a year now, and I am not where I want to be socially and romantically. When I came here, I wanted to integrate well, and associate more with people outside of my faculty(which mostly consists of other foreigners), and I initially learned Swedish to help with this. To my surprise, nobody talked back in Swedish, but everyone just spoke in perfectly fluent English. Even the cashiers. Combined with the fact that my degree is highly demanding(Machine Learning), I found less and less time and motivation to learn Swedish, so I naturally ended up in what they call the foreigner bubble. Made a couple of good friends among them, but it took a year just to find a Swedish person that I look forward hanging out with, and is equally dissatisfied with the general awkwardness of Swedes. I am not into her(and she has a soon to be husband) but at least it gives me some start of starting point, and a person that might be able to help out with learning Swedish.

The Swedish people I’ve gotten to know in my class and outside of it have been…polite and distant, I would say. I have to initiate every time, and the conversations are one-sided, with them never asking personal questions and often excusing themselves early on. Just awkward and anything but fun. Don’t get invited to their fikas(Swedish custom of coffee&cake, basically) and won’t get introduced to their friends.

At some point, I started looking forward to hanging out with the Muslim Swedes and Muslim Immigrants because they’re just much warmer people, and conversation with them is so much more free-flowing(the Swedish friend I mentioned above also happens to be a Muslim Convert).

It was only in Sweden that I realized that I was quite outgoing and have a social need that feels undernourished right now. And I have not had a date or girlfriend in several years now. The latter is more of a pressing need than the former, hence why I went for Wanted instead of True Social or Inner Circle at this point.

I initially went to most of the bars here in my city, but realized that very few go there alone but rather people just bring their own group with them. And the groups do not really interact at all. It seemed more like overpriced social hangouts rather than places where people are open to meeting strangers. So I never ended meeting anyone, even when I came with a group and looked for people that might be interested. So given that I also do not enjoy drinking the overly expensive alcohol here, after a few months, I installed three dating apps, and experimented with various profiles and pictures on a daily basis, but got 1 match after several months across all of them. Got ghosted after it became apparent that I wasn’t fluent in Swedish. So that went nowhere.

Tried out joining uni clubs next. Most clubs are Swedish only here, and they were more for Swedish bachelor students. But found some sport clubs like a Badminton club. It was fun for the sport, but when I tried inviting people there for a fika, they just politely turned my down or were otherwise busy. My Swedish friend also suggested that this pathway is a really long one as she has also not met any of the people in her sport club outside of the club after 3 years. So that has not been fruitful either.

The Erasmus Student network organizes parties here from time to time(about once per month, so not that much, and even less during the Winter), which I usually attend, but I keep running into the same people there, mostly people from my own class, who couldn’t be any more boring, and they’re all dudes. And again, it’s all about the drinking, which I don’t like and isn’t compatible with my energy cultivation practices. When I arrived in Sweden, it didn’t take long for me to realize that drinking alcohol is very important to Swedes to loosen up and be briefly un-Swedish, at which point they suddenly become social; unfortunately they do a “factory reset” the next morning, as the Muslim Immigrants here call it, and will just revert to their old self.

I wanted to try the gym next, since I was hugely into lifting before I got a big shoulder injury just before Corona hit in Germany. Didn’t have enough money for it though at that time and couldn’t get the student discounts because of lovely Swedish bureaucracy slowing down the process of getting the personal number. So I picked up my Wooden Rings and went to a park instead. Thought I’d meet people there, but the people there just wanted to be left alone and work out inside of their own Swedish bubble. Only once had a guy ask me where I had gotten my rings from, with no further interest.

Next, I recalled that in many other countries I’ve been to, I always had good luck with meetup.com and attending local events. I was dismayed to find out that there were literally zero in-person events in my city in any given week I checked. And I checked for months. In Stockholm and Göteborg, it seems much better as they have plenty of events for foreigners, language cafes, speed dating events etc. But I am not in those cities, unfortunately. The city I am in is fairly large, but it sure does feel smaller. There are local events, but they do require native fluency in Swedish to be able to participate and ain’t cheap. It is Sweden, after all.

So a year later, I find myself somewhat more in control of my degree, which has freed up more time for me.

And I looked around myself. The people in my batch at university have been here for the same amount of time, and without exception, they all share the same lifestyle. They hang around with each other, have next to zero Swedish friends and no local girlfriends. They are busy finishing their degree, basically. Some of them don’t seem to mind the way things are going.

I do mind.

I don’t want to be in the same predictable course of events, where I know if I continue like this, things will remain exactly the same one year from now. I am strongly rebelling against the mere thought of this type of outcome. It was my initial fear that I’d just get a degree with nothing else after my stay here in Sweden. I want to do my best to prevent this scenario from coming true.

So it is time to retry some old things I gave up on too early and try out new things. There must be solutions to my problems.

Over the summer, I had went back to Germany and ran Alchemist while I reflected on things. There were clear mistakes I had made:

  • I switched between subs too much in the past year. Which is mostly due to:

  • not focusing on one aspect of my life, and trying to do three things at the same time(doing well at uni, romance and spirituality). Found out the hard way that this does not work well for me at all and that I do not multitask well. I learnt that I need to focus on one part of my life, the most urgent one, and that is forming a strong inner core that is independent of needing external validation and finding a girlfriend. I realized that the improvements I have to make to succeed in that area of life will also carry over the most to the other areas I want to develop further.

  • I got discouraged too early from learning Swedish. Before coming to Sweden, I always learned foreign languages at a fast rate, but that was because I easily got immersed in them because people actually wanted to talk to me in the language I wanted to learn, and I enjoy this way of learning more than learning from books or having some abstract goal like getting to C1 in a language because of a job requirement. I easily learn a language when the culture is fascinating and the people eager to talk. Sweden is unfortunately none of these things for me yet, but I also have nothing to lose by doing my best to become more conversational in Swedish. I noticed a strange paradox in Sweden, which is that these are some of the most fluent non-native English speakers on the planet, and yet they often give you the feeling like you’re bothering them by using Engelska(English) instead of Svenska(Swedish), and they do seem to categorize people into compartments(people I only talk to at work, foreigners I talk to in English that I will not introduce to my friends etc), so the only way to get more accepted into Swedish society is to learn Swedish well. And even then, language does not really seem to be the main issue, but it is something I can do, at least.

  • I was letting my bad experiences affect me too much. You can’t have good social experiences when you feel dragged down by your experiences. Yes, I can’t simply ignore the less than stellar experiences I am making here, but I can still try to remain optimistic in the absence of results.

All of these mistakes can be fixed.

So now onto possible solutions I can try in the upcoming weeks.

8 Likes
#2

  • Dedicate more time everyday to getting better at conversational Swedish. If people reply in English, insist on using Swedish, even if I understand very little. As a native German speaker, I am actually surprised how low my listening comprehension can get, given that many people say that we Germans are supposed to have it the easiest learning Swedish. Reading is easy, yes, but speaking and listening…French was much easier for me to learn. Nevertheless, there is a SVT(Swedish TV) program where immigrants discuss their experiences in Sweden, with Swedish subtitles, and there is a Chrome extension which helps add subtitles of your choice. There are also audio focused courses I will use, along with two free Swedish courses that are being taught in the city, which I am already attending. This part is straightforward.

  • Attend any social event, no matter which one. Start going to events meant for Swedish speakers, even if it will make it hard for me to follow.

  • Put myself into any available social places as much as possible. I am not on the main university campus, which is in another city unfortunately, and takes 2 hours to get there and back, and the last bus comes back at 7 p.m., which make the logistics difficult for attending any student parties there. But I can hang out in cafes and thrift stores, and the like in my own city. It seems like a big no-no here in Sweden to approach strangers in these places, but I will approach if I get some Indicators of Interest first. Really hoping for Wanted to help me with this. I also managed to finally join a gym here that I can afford. I believe @Saiyan4blue has mentioned that he’s gotten approached despite looking foreign and intimidating, so it is not necessarily true that everyone is simply in their own bubble and wearing headphones to block out everyone else.

  • Get back on the dating apps. Had discouraging results last year, yes, but this is one more pathway of manifestation I should keep open. You never know. Again, I hope Wanted will help me out a bit here. Really could use some help. Odds seem stacked against me, but fuck it, I need to believe like things can manifest there too.

  • Wanted and LOTS earlier this year has already made me optimize my appearance further and further. First time I’ve used a self-made pore strip peel and hair mask. I’ve also been hunting for well-fitting clothes in the thrift stores here(can’t afford any of the main stores), which is difficult because Swedish people are taller and have different proportions, but I have found a few items so far. Gym-wise, I have always been into fitness, so my muscles are already popping, but I can definitely gain more mass, which is why I have made a bulking diet a habit now, powered by a Slow Cooker I recently got for this purpose.

  • Explore more creative ways of socialization. I heard good things about the way people meet friends or girlfriends through their Church. I was amazed when I looked at all the social activities a nearby church is doing for free for its members, but unfortunately, I am not Christian at all, and they are interested in people that fit into their flock or which they can convert. But maybe there are other communities? I had this idea of finding like-minded people that are also into Daoist Arts or at least Indian forms of yoga, but I haven’t found anything remotely like that in this city. It just isn’t international enough, I guess. But I need to keep thinking in this direction.

  • Swedish people either seem to meet through dating apps, or through meeting people at shared social activities. The latter is something I’ve been trying to figure out in terms of where I can fit in and meet people on a regular basis. I need to leave my comfort zone here since the things I care about the most are philosophy and energy cultivation, none of which seem to resonate with people I meet here, and there are no philosophy clubs here, not even in Swedish, and no interest in Eastern Arts.
    Perhaps something to do with self-help, since that is what I am doing most of time anyway? I need to look into perhaps creating my own club.

3 Likes
#3

As you can see from the above, I am putting Wanted and GLM to a real test. If I can fulfill my rather modest goals(get a healthy social circle and one girlfriend) here in Sweden, I think I can make it anywhere. This is the hardest country I have ever been to and all I am longing for is warm human connection. Since I am doubling down on my effort here to realize my goals, and the added x-factor is consistent use of two name-embedded majors, this will show how effective they can be over the period of a year for a stranger in a strange land.

I have been running the Custom GLM+I am Atman Synergy for exactly 30 days now already, at microloops of 30s to 1m. 45s seems to be the current sweet spot.
I simply love this sub. It is by far the most useful sub I’ve run from subclub, even outdoing my Limitless run that saved my degree last year.

In the last month, I got very clear benefits from it:

  • discipline scripting goes hard. Cleaned up my entire environment, extending beyond my room towards my shared kitchen. I get this strong sense that my environment really does reflect my inner world, as the old hermetic maxim says. Clean mind creates a clean environment which in turn promotes a clean mind.

  • started walking more upright and felt my breathing slow down. This is clearly in relation to fearing disapproval less in social settings. I am able to relax more when out and about. GLM seems to have helped me moving my hips while I am walking and noticing the stiffness in the hips among many Swedes. I am surprised myself at how confident I walk now. There is an actual swagger in me. Simultaneously, I am starting to feel sorry for what I perceive to be unhappiness or lack of vitality in people I meet on the road, while I am feeling this inner joy.

  • amazing inner silence that sometimes gets very intense. Now, I’ve cultivated this for many years, but had a hard time maintaining it off the cushion and when faced with things I unfortunately still view as real(such as fearing ridicule or disapproval from women)- this has gotten vastly better in this rather short period of time. For most of the day, I simply feel a quiet inner joy that makes it very easy to remain cool headed in the heat of the moment.

  • most likely related to the last point, I’ve been amazed at the structured nature of my thoughts and actions. I calmly execute one thing after another, and get a ton of things done without really feeling effort. I expected this from Executive, but have actually been getting this from GLM.

  • in my last gym session, I finally felt something click in myself and I started letting go of the idea that other guys are competitors and started feeling brotherly love for them. It can basically be described as a feeling of wanting to see everyone succeed.

  • in my talks with people, I have become much more eloquent, and perhaps related to how structured my thoughts have become, I am able to calmly lay out my arguments as if I was writing a speech in my own room. I have also been successful in de-escalating potential fights with guys.

  • my voice has become even deeper than it already is.

  • GLM has helped me distance myself and almost instantly dissolve negative thoughts, especially about myself and unhelpful generalizations. It definitely creates a barrier which doesn’t suppress things, but rather enables a clear-headed response through emotional detachment.

  • this is the most noteworthy point for me. My dream recall became vastly better and nearly all of my dreams have become highly symbolic, and try their best to “speak to me” in intensely personal language. They always inform me what is being worked on and the more I “decode” the symbolism, the more helpful they are becoming and the richer their content. I am really looking forward to each dream every night.

  • Had clear warnings delivered to my in my dreams not to go for a rigid view of what masculinity might be to me as told by other sources, but rather to carefully engage my “feminine” aspects; to be vulnerable when the time is right, to listen deeply, to be intuitive, to value cooperation over competition, and to prioritize connection over conquest. Similarly, other dreams revealed to me that for the longest time, I have been afraid to act before I feel 100% ready, out of a very old traumatic pattern in me where my mom instilled both perfectionism and procrastination in me as a young child, which I adopted because I became afraid of her judgement and expectations, which I was never able to live up to, and as hard as it may be for me to admit that sometimes, psychologists are not that far out with their theories, I am still fearing female disapproval or criticism in every women I come across as the result of that old wound.

  • I have been able to come down from the clouds, so to speak. I am a very heady, very mental type of person, and it has been difficult to admit to myself that I have some very human, personal and social desires such as having good friends and a girlfriend again. This is a very grounding experience for me.

  • in the span of the first week on GLM, I had no less than three girls tell me that they trust me within a few minutes of meeting them. I had never heard people say that before, and especially not in those social contexts I was in. They were looking towards me to guide them to places and where to sit down etc. I became aware that I can meet people from a place of security and trust.

  • I have been strongly questioning some of my more desperate choices in my social life. I do not like to drink. I do not like to dance, especially not to loud music. I prefer romantic settings where I can have deep conversations for hours. “Choose your settings wisely” kept repeating in my mind. I have been struggling with finding better socializing opportunities that play towards my strengths, but there is a clear sense of wanting to return/approach my real me and not pretend to be someone else just to be able to fit in. This is either GLM and/or the I am Atman Synergy at work.

  • One thing that has been very noticeable since I started with the NGLM sub is that I feel no impulse to ejaculate to porn. KB and Dragon Reborn have helped with this last year, but this is on another level or builds on them, somehow. I may still get aroused, but there is no strong pull anymore. It is actually hard to get my mind to want that, even in the absence of other outlets. Surprisingly, something in there may contain the Stop Porn/Masturbation scripting, perhaps, or something indirectly triggers this response in me. Anyhow, it is most welcome, and has made my life much more pleasant.

  • I have become sharply aware of the doubts in my mind. Almost every day, it occurs to me that I do not have much faith, and that my mind is filled with doubts. I know intuitively that I have to trust in the universe to provide what is meant for me, but it isn’t easy when I am losing my patience. I want results, now. And at the same time, I am recognizing that this impatience is not serving me, at all. It is tough to develop trust after being marginalized or bullied your whole life, but I am getting there.

4 Likes
#4

I added New OG Wanted(store version) to GLM 12 days ago. Yesterday evening, I received the custom Wanted version with Perfection Manifestation Synergy, and today I ran Custom GLM and Custom Wanted as a stack for the first time.

Through a friend, I got to know that there is a almost hidden weekly Språkcafé (language cafe) in my city. I went there in the afternoon today, hoping to not only practice Swedish but also to meet new people.
Well…it was a sausage fest. 98% Middle Eastern Men, which is still nice since they’re fun to be around with(especially the Iraqis), but no females except for the old Swedish volunteer instructor and one Hazari Afghan Girl. Quickly realized that I was way in over my head, as the people there had been actively learning Swedish for more than 5 years already and were just sharing stories from their lives in fluent Swedish, while I struggled to make out bits and pieces. But one guy said “Jag kommer från Tyskland”(I come from Germany), and I was happy to find another German person there. Turns out he had just arrived in Sweden, but had been learning on his own for 5 years already from a community college back in Germania.
Talked to him after class, as the Hazari Afghan girl had practically run away before I could even open my mouth. Nice guy, but the experience seems to have been designed to teach my to consider other, more open perspectives. He was already approached my Swedish girls on his first day in Stockholm on the way here, and had nothing but warm and positive social interactions in his first week so far, which put my entire year here to shame. Couldn’t help but feel the sting of jealousy well up in me, but steadied myself and got his Whatsapp.
Tall, thin body, stoic expressionless face, if he didn’t tell me he was German I’d straight up assume he was Swedish.
Have to remind myself that there is no use in comparing other souls and their journeys to mine.

Come to think of it, through various acquaintances here I’ve come to know that practically all the successful integration cases of foreigners are German men in this town. They thrive here in Sweden. They all easily found jobs and without exception they’re all married to locals. They can’t understand the complaints of other foreigners. They do not feel socially isolated and like pretty much all aspects of Swedish society. This makes me wonder how German I actually am.

I would like to believe that the key here is to become as unassuming as possible, like they seem to be, but I also cannot ignore the reality of ethnic segregation patterns I’ve seen everywhere since arriving in Sweden. They’re all over Europe, with dark skinned immigrants doing the menial labor the locals no longer want to do. It is very obvious in France and Germany, as well. Unspoken racist attitudes that are to be expected in largely ethnically homogenous societies like Sweden. I’ve spoken enough to Muslim immigrants here in Sweden to know that their experience is often vastly different from Caucasian Men and Women that are hard to distinguish from Swedes themselves, all the way extending to people not getting hired by Swedish HR for having “exotic” names(yes, people change their names legally to deal with this problem).

Job-wise, I have a fully German name, so that is not a problem, but I certainly do not look German at all, being of mixed Eurasian descent. Most likely due to the influence of Wanted, I am thinking about how to make this into an advantage for me, as growing up in Germany, my biracial identity had been relentlessly pounded into me as something that put me at a disadvantage in both cultures I am supposed to share. This has always been difficult to heal, as all of my combined experiences in both Germany and Taiwan have given me that same impression, which leads to a victim mentality, which in turn manifests more corresponding negative experiences.

Thankfully, I am somewhat able now to emotionally detach myself from this, and try to re-frame it as something that could lead to more appeal, rather than useless self-pity. I don’t really fit into that whole Korean wave thing which is popular in Europe, but I have to avoid getting stereotyped as a Chinese student here(most people assume I am Asian). I know many of them here, and they have it rough, socially and romantically speaking(I see Swedish guys with East Asian women a lot but not the opposite). Never seen one of them integrate at all or have local partners, unless they were born here. I would love to meet local Eurasians here, but have only met one guy so far, who has been very Swedish in that he was not at all interested in maintaining contact.

I have also played with the thought of going all the way with becoming unassuming, forgetting that I am of x race, and forgetting where I am. This seems to be the most useful line of thought, especially as I maintain internal silence. I think I have no other choice but to go with this attitude.

3 Likes
#5

In terms of having run Wanted for almost two weeks, what are my results, so far?

The inner joy and calm from GLM seems to have become modified further. Especially during and after gym sessions(happens a lot since I go there 5 times a week), I get an amazing self-assured calm state that sweeps over me. My gaze becomes relaxed, and I become able to check out people without feeling creepy, and I was able to walk past several attractive women in the gym without becoming self-conscious and awkward in my body, as before.
I like how much more playful I have become. I naturally love to smile and joke, but now I also taking risks and teasing people more than before, and it’s great fun for me.
In the gym, I have recently started to wonder, as I blissed out between sets, why gym culture is so stiff and sad. You look around, and all you see are boys and girls grimly working out in their own bubbles, and except for gym buddies, they do not interact, at all. Especially the men are very fearful in their eyes, and carefully avoid looking anywhere near the provocatively dressed female gymrats. And everyone has those damn headphones on. I have never seen a country so full of people wearing big thick headphones almost 24/7. Combined with their excessive smartphone use, I feel sad that I couldn’t experience being a young guy between the 1970s and 1990s. What a time it must have been.

I recognize that this very very pleasant state of inner harmony, a calm amused state, is the state I was looking for. This is what enables me to be my best self and to flirt anywhere.
I have almost become obsessed with improving my beard style and maintaining my long hair. Before, I was often forced by peer pressure to cut my hair short, especially in China. But I actually prefer growing my hair out. And thanks to being Eurasian, I can grow a beard. Not the Middle Eastern one I’d like(the full one), but sort of what another mixed guy, Keanu Reeves, has been rocking since he got older. I don’t like the cookie-cutter 1930s Nazi youth hairstyle that has gotten popular with barbers around the world in the past 10 years, so I am doing my own thing.

Unfortunately, my joyous and calm state has not translated to external manifestations yet (you can probably see why I doubled down on the manifestation scripting for the Wanted Custom).
Feel practically invisible in the social spaces I’ve been to. I have been warned multiple times not to approach Swedes before they have checked me out or at least given some sort of IOI. But they’re hard to come by. I heard that Swedish women were supposed to be more in their masculine, neo-liberal feminist state and all, but have not been approached or even gotten a double take. If I meet their eyes, they immediately look away to the side. The only remarkable exception so far has been an evening jog, where a Chinese woman that came across me gave me a big smile. Not sure if I actually know her from somewhere, but should have stopped her.
One of the purposes of running GLM is to address my neediness, which has built up over the years due to lack of attention and inner fulfilment. I feel like this would most easily be countered by a sense of abundance, but the question is how many positive experiences I need before I let my mind convince itself that it is not coming from a scarcity mindset that has been plaguing me since early childhood.
I’d take subtle hovering or accidental bumps, just give me something to work with. Attended a birthday party of a friend a week ago, felt very relaxed and comfy in my muscle shirt and was having fun with people, but the girls were non-responsive. The birthday guy then appreciated a cake I had made for him and tried to set me up with a Chinese friend of his, but the girl cancelled the meeting saying she had other parties to go to.

Speaking of which, a few days before starting to add Wanted, a Tajik Afghani Girl moved in next door to me in my flat. I thought I had hit some pre-sults, as she is my type and not the conservative kind(no hijab, seems to be open to things). I shared some of my self-made cake with her and her sister, who was impressed with my baking skills and asked me to teach her younger sister that along with English. The girl has a very charming smile and seemed un-Swedish, despite having moved her more than a decade ago. We seemed to initially vibe, as she had many racist experiences growing up in Sweden. But when I invited her to explore a student event with me, she came up with an excuse that she had to learn for her pre-med school exams. She complained that her Swedish classmates bore her to death, I tried to provide an alternative multiple times, but she is making it hard to get her out. I am hoping that she is just too busy and tired, but at the back of my mind, I kind of already know that she is not really making time for me or even keen to keep me in longer conversation. So no discernible Wanted effect there yet, either.

I am trying to re-frame this or recognize the lesson in this. I think it is in becoming truly detached from the possibility of striking out, which gives freedom and relaxedness, which in turn makes me more likely not to strike out. But this is hard to truly accept for me, seeing as opportunities come so seldomly to me, still. GLM and Wanted ask me to be nonchalant, but I am naturally quite reactive and emotional, so this is hard to process.
And then again, another voice in me asks: Why can’t we all learn together, and find mistakes or nervousness cute?
Now, I can tell that I am in recon. The 1m GLM + 1m Wanted was too much, despite the two weeks of build-up. I can tell, because yesterday, as I was joyously relaxed in the gym, I felt sheer possibility, I felt that being with beautiful women was an inevitability, whereas today, as I reflect on the past few weeks, I feel almost hopeless. This swing shall be temporary. I am very careful right now to monitor my thoughts, especially thoughts that put me down. I recognize that I am swinging between strongly established old patterns and weakly erected new, more positive ones, and I have to carefully tend to the growth of the new to help me get to my beloved, wherever she may be.

7 Likes
#6

Your journal entries were a fascinating read. Your persistence is admirable and your achievements in learning Swedish, building your body and being a spiritually cultured individual, knowledgeable in Daoism Yoga and Philosophy are worth being proud of.

I was very engaged reading your above posts because they showed that you have a very introspective mind combined with a relentless spirit of pushing yourself out there to achieve your goals.

As much as you are facing some difficulties right now, I do hope you will gain the friend circle you deserve and a woman who appreciates you for who you are. Am surprised that you are not being fought over for your baking skills alone! Lol.

I wish I had some advice to give but I think your GLM and Wanted customs will help you more. And i do think you are doing everything in your power to reach your goals so I cannot even think of changing anything you are doing.

That mindset you had where you think of people as simply being people and in turn bringing out a more relaxed and fun side out of you, is worth pursuing for a longer duration. When I read it, I remembered the times I forgot where so and so were from and it made it much easier for me to talk to them and find out what they liked irrespective of their upbringing.

Keep putting yourself out there. You are worthy to receive what you desire!

2 Likes
#7

Oh boy, you’re gonna have FUN in Sweden once Wanted starts blooming.

1 Like
#8

Boy was this journal heavy to read since i related to many of the struggles way before and some even now!

One thing i did not see mentioned is your fashion. In Sweden apperances sadly play a big role. If you got some money then it’s wise to look the part of the ” circles ” you would like to enter

For example you have the ” Walla Brors ”, fellow immigrants who speak broken accent but mostly the ” Walla bror svär på mammas liv mannen ” & wear bland to wanna be street thug clothes etc

The usually learn Swedish together in their own accent & the ghetto mannerisms since they feel unnaccepted by other circles & only themselves. Learning their accent will create a glass ceiling i would avoid!

The rest is bland & boring. The Swedish gymbros, energy drinking - zyn sipping bro circles where they all talk and act monotone

Then you have the occasional ” outsider ” in an all white group. In high schools its usually a very funny asian guy who befriends everyone. It could be also be the ones born here, fully fitting the mold. Think the Persian girl hanging out with 4 more uppity Swedish group etc

Me personally? I like people who are weird, quirky and have a strong sense of self… an originality to them.

I learned to mostly flow in each circle if need be, but i have my own people. Who are fellow black sheep.

As for you, focus on appearances. You may be shocked that it matters far more than you say or speak. Thats one how to get it. Tattoos help alot as well. But once you do, you might feel like it was never worth the trouble. Its too damn bland

2 Likes
#9

I honestly think you’ll hit these goals and then more some. This latest batch of titles are actually outstanding in terms of results

Cool journal btw

1 Like
#10

If I learned anything from Plato’s dialogues, it is that I should not claim any of those things in good conscience. But I will update this journal on a daily basis from now on, and you will see if any of this “knowledge” actually pays off! The proof of the pudding is in the eating!

I often feel like I have, as a result of my early life, been pushed into having too much of the former, and not enough of the latter. The “relentless spirit” is something I am actively cultivating in myself to counter self-pity and that whole paralysis by analysis thing in me that is rather strong.

Much appreciated. I hope you’ll get everything you want in Calcutta. Must be interesting running Wanted there!

Well, one of the Swedish girls on my floor is now calling me her food influencer lol. She used to basically hide in her room, but now she is finally coming to the kitchen and at least engages in short convos here and there about the food I am making. Like all three girls on my floor right now, she says she doesn’t enjoy making food and thinks there is not enough time in the day to make several healthy meals. That is a big turn-off for me. They either make one big one-pot meal and then microwave the prepped meals for half of the week or they just microwave things they get from somewhere. I avoid the microwave altogether. It’s not healthy enough for me and reeks of laziness.

Of course. Whenever I find a trait that is fun and useful to me, I seek to stabilize it over time until it becomes a wholly unconscious habit. That’s the idea of mastery, right?

:pray: bhai

Wanted is already working in the background, and from what I can see, it is making me socialize even more than before and makes me want to improve my appearance/wardrobe. Also makes me feel suave from time to time. So it is setting the foundational conditions. I followed the recent reports of people using Wanted in the main thread, and I am happy to read that people are especially noticing the increased IOIs and manifestation scripting, right from their first loop onwards. I hope I’ll experience some of that, or at least figure out what may block these manifestations in my socializing attempts.

I hope so too. These titles are indeed very powerful, hence why I invested what money I had and why I want to run it for a long time.

1 Like
#11

I was hoping you’d drop in. I’ve always read your posts with the greatest interest, not just because of your experience, but also because you seem to have made your way in Swedish society as someone who belongs to a group that often get discriminated against for their appearance alone.

I know, and not just in Sweden. I’ll simply show you how I appear in daily life. One pic taken in the gym today(also as a reference for me, since I am running a physical shifting title):

Gym 2

And since the weather is already getting cold, this is what I am usually wearing, when outside:

Autumn
Autumn408×1093 362 KB

Anything wrong? Colors look muted enough for me.

Most Swedish guys I see look bland as hell to me. Sneakers, Nudie Jeans, Hoodie or those Patagonia/Northface/whatever Naturkompaniet is selling right now type of jackets.
The other kind is the “preppy” one, which is even worse. Oxford shoes, suits on campus, omega type of watches.
I don’t want to imitate either of them.

While I enjoy hanging around with the Muslim guys and girls here, I most certainly don’t want that Walla Bror accent! In Germany, we have the equivalent that was made by the Turkish German rappers, and is incredibly grating on the ears. Would never fit me, anyways.

I know what you mean. Not a fan of that group, either.

My Swedish friend refers to this as “Swedish breakfast”, which consists of two cans of Nocco(a kind of energy drink) and a packet of snus(pouch of powdered tobacco that people put under their lip). Those Nocco cans and Velo snus packages are everywhere. People are really addicted, and not just the gymbros stuffing the garbage can in the locker room with 1000 Nocco cans every day, but Swedish women also drink that shit pretty much everywhere.

Me too. I find Swedish people to be surprisingly collectivist in their opinions, or rather, lack thereof. People look the same, wear the same, and talk about the same things. I saw more originality in China, even. People fear standing out too much, or being perceived as showing off. But all this false humbleness leads to are more subtle ways of showing off.

Where did you find your own people? Do you ever get into this situation where you feel there is a risk to hanging out with fellow black sheep, more specifically where shared trauma dumping might just reinforce victim mindsets?

Bror, I’ve noticed the prevalence of tattoo studios around every street corner in this city. And they’re always full of clients, no matter what time of the day it is. People enjoy mutilating themselves around here. I come from a Confucian household, where it is believed that you should not mess with what your parents gave you. Chinese originally believed in the sanctity of the human body, to the point that earrings were also considered a form of self-mutilation. And tattoes, in my own opinion, are a strong commitment to something that is akin to a spell cast on your body. And obviously something irreversible.
There are few things girls can do to totally put me off, but tattoes, especially crude ones, are one of them. So I am not going to do that, either.

Since I am close to setting up shop on the dating apps again, you can bet that I am focused on improving my looks, since it unfortunately counts for so much. I am unsatisfied with the hair I grew out. I would like to make it thicker/more voluminous and easier to manage. It is very fine, prone to greasiness and does not respond well to most products. And when short, it has that Chinese property of being uncontrollable and sticking out in all directions like the spikes of porcupine. And when long, it becomes curly like German hair, but the smallest breeze throws it into a wild mess. My father had the same problem.
The last two barbers I’ve been to in the Swedish city of mine have been disappointments. All they seem to know is how to do that same Hitler Youth haircut that we Germans know all to well(incidentally also mostly made by Middle Eastern barbers), with the sides completely shaved or with a “fade”(which doesn’t really work with Chinese hair) and a bit of hair on the top. I’ve tried asking barbers in various countries to try a new haircut that fits my face, and they always either go for that, or that old English haircut, which is also short and just makes me look older. So I am still hesitant about trying another barber here in town. But I need to do something about making my hair look better and less frizzy/greasy.