Then maybe Power Can Corrupt is interesting inside of your stack.
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Considered this but my stack is already pretty full rnā¦ Ill have to see
Which programs are you running again? Emperor v4, UA and Rebirth or was it also QL?
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Emperor and some subliminals from elsewhere
Day 104 - 11th of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h v3(Ultra), 5h v4 (M)
I cleared my listening-schedule out a bit and now it is more relaxed and less stressed. I fell back into the habit of planning months in advance and which goals to achieve when etc. This is stupid.
I may have forgotten to mention this earlier but I notice my ability to visualize complex scenes/objects iimproved. I have also been practising alot and from experience I know Limitless (or the Limitless-script in Emperor) helps with that.
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Imagine sniffing out scammers way before they get too close to you.
Thatās PCC.
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Day 105 - 12th of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h v3(Ultra), 6h v4 (M)
Since I dont want to start the bad habit of posting every day again, Ill keep this short. The reason why I am writing this at all is that I feel, hope that v4 can finally deliver to me what I wanted from the previous version. The manifestation, focus and learning stuff in v3 worked pretty well, but I really missed what I actually came for: Feeling myself changing, my attitude, shift in behaviour, reconciliation, others confirming these changes etc. As I said early, I guess self-destructive behaviour blocked these parts but stillā¦ I was a bit disappointed. Anyway, v4 might be it. The cryfest and the happy turning I wanted (along with the other stuff of course). Experience is highly subjective so you may not understand my situation or where I am coming from, but Ill post an interaction I just had with the cashier-lady in the grocery.
Here it is: (Sorry if I ruin the storytelling by mixing the tenses)
I am standing in front of cheese-products while searching for my favorite.
What I actually want is to just get away from here and get home. I take a look into my wallet and count the coins to see if Id actually be able to pay. My nose is running and I cant stop snuffling. I feel so much discomfort but I still smile as an elderly woman passes and smiles at me.
Finally I find what I am looking for and head to the cashier.
While putting my stuff on the conveyer belt I get nervous as I cant find my wallet. There it is.
āIt probably wonāt be enoughā, I say. The cashier smiles, tells me how much it is and I give her the coins. āOne moreā, she says.
My face started to itch even more, my nose kept running, my scalp started to burn like the fires of hell but yet I say āI knew it wont be enough. Letās see. Weāll leave you behind.ā
I say as I hand one of my groceries over to her. It feels weird. Out of place. As if something has taken over me and uses my lips to form these words. I still feel so uncomfortable.
She smiles.
I pay and leave the store.
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Thereās yet another wise saying from Alcoholics Anonymous. It goes: āDonāt judge your insides by other peopleās outsidesā.
Short, wise, to the point.
People are having such rich, complex experiences, but we arenāt aware of 99% of it. That elderly woman in the store, for example, probably just saw a nice man who smiled at her. But you, feeling your experience from the inside, know how much more was going on for you in that moment.
This is why (for me) it can be such a gift when someone takes the care to really describe and convey whatās happening for them, as you have done. After some time spent touching or hearing othersā experiences with your awareness, you start to realize that there are vast, invisible worlds all around you, in all of the people. They donāt express it, so Iāll never know most of it.
Iāll admit. Sometimes the basic ignorance of the human condition overwhelms me. Bound to our narrow egos like a frog in a well imagining that it is seeing the whole Universe.
I aspire to accommodate more.
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This is very inspiring. I havent looked at it in this way, but you are absolutely right.
It just astonishing. Right there, there are 8 billion people running around, each and every one of them having their own unique experience of being humand.
Wow. It gives you chills. And makes you excited for life.
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I have remote viewing for that.
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Day 106 - 13th of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h/v3(Ultra), 7h/v4 (M), 3h/v4 (Ultra)
Just a quick note that I decided to use ultrasonics again to be able to listen more.
Day 106 - 13th of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h/v3(Ultra), 7h/v4 (M), 5h/v4 (Ultra)
Guysā¦ I actually see pages of the book I have read behind my closed eyes. I literally see them.
I am stunned.
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Day 109 - 16th of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h/v3(Ultra), 7h/v4 (M), 6h/v4 (Ultra)
I think I made some sense of the phenomena I described on day 106.
This mind-cinema (yes, thatās what I have decided to call it) seems to process information I just learned. For whatever reason, it just shows book-pages yet. Maybe it is because book-pages arent as complex as lets say a video. Something I noticed is that ā¦ how do I describe it? In the book I have read there are some complex words I cant remember how to spell them. When I went to the mind-cinema, I saw one such word āwrittenā in the inside of my eyes. I saw how it was written, looked it up andā¦ it was right! Iāll let yourself ponder what the implications of this are.
I guess this mind-cinema-thing may sound very obscure so Ill try to explain what it looks like.
Youāll really have to stay open minded about this because it will sound very strange. For now, it only works when I close my eyes so what I see isnt complete darkness, but a smooth red. When my field of vision is completely black, I dont see anything (maybe because the words are written in black themself?). And what I see when I do it is in many cases either on the right side or the center of my vision. There, in the midst of the red, there is a little clearing, like a hole and there is where I see the words and pages. When I just finished listening to emperor and noticed it the first time, the clearing was pretty vast. Iād say almost my whole right field of vision. Now it is a small hole in the center, maybe because I havent listened yesterday (rest day)
If you got any idea, I am eager to hear it. Especially what @SaintSovereign and @Fire have to say about this. If this is really caused from the sub and not my own insanity, you just wrote history guys by finding a way to signal the gene for eidetic memory, I guess. Let that sink in for a second.
My guess is that what I am seeing there is how my subconscious processes the information I have absorbed. Like you are watching the CMD-Terminal on your computer.
It even looks quite a bit like in matrix, meaning the words and pages move like that.
Oh and I had a dream where I was a spartan again (Also, again Leonidas. Emperor doing its thing here). Also something about stealing Hitlerās earrings and trying to sell them because they seem to be so valuable. There was another dream but I dont remember it right now. Will edit if I do.
Edit: I remembered the other dream. I was at my old workplace but it was different. It is really difficulty to explain because most of it was feeling but I did there what I did in real life. I quit. Then I walked out, and felt very very free. There was aā¦ glass structure, lets say, which had impossible architecture. I walked around, and there was a glass door, through which I went. On the left I saw some guys from highschool, moving past me, to the opposite direction.
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Day 110 - 17th of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h/v3(Ultra), 9h/v4 (M), 13h/v4 (Ultra)
Two thoughts I want to share with you.
First. I am concerned the ultrasonic version will stop working for me after a certain point. Seems silly but this is exactly what happened on v3, and it took long until I noticed it.
Second. I didnt manage to stop the self destructive behaviour. yet.
I took certain actions to deal with this and hopefully it will work out over time. That is the stupid thing about it. It takes time to work.
I have to think on how I am going to solve these issues but idk manā¦ right now I feel just tired, weak, frustrated and devastated.
Tomorrow is another day.
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Day 110 - 17th of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h/v3(Ultra), 11h/v4 (M), 14h/v4 (Ultra)
Felt much better today. Actually it felt a little bit like Ascended Mogul. Had a strong urge to clean my room. Got a little surprise at my classes. Today was midterm exam and I didnt even know about it lol.
And on top of that I was late. I managed to put my phone next to me and played Limitless 2 ultrasonic during the exam (should have listened to emp v4 though). Anyway, was pretty chilled. Got no idea how many points I got/missed but I dont care that much actually. I am too focused on my work rn.
I also thought about the other areas of my life (dating). I thought I could start at least very small.
Had a dream about us guys from sub club hanging out at a certain place and talking about Saint who is also there and I was listening to Alchemist.
Edit: Seems like I lost this mind-cinema-ability. Will get it back though, I am confident.
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Day 112 - 19th of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h/v3(Ultra), 13h/v4 (M), 16h/v4 (Ultra)
Made some efforts in the women department. Tearing up right now. Feel some of the old wounds in my heart havent healed yet. Itās painful.
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Day 113 - 20th of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h/v3(Ultra), 14h/v4 (M), 16h/v4 (Ultra)
In the past few days I messaged girls I found attractive on a dating app. You may find this obscure, but it wasnt my (primary) objective at all to get a date or even a response. All I wanted to achieve, and I did so, is to just have the guts and actually do it. Because it was the first time in my life and I want to start small so I can gradually build up.
So I did this with about 30 girls or so and it actually confused me a bit why none of them wrote back. I thought it is because of what I wrote or my profile (was a fake profile) or maybe they are getting spammed. But no, it wasnt that at all.
I just learned that the developers of the app decided not to show women the messages men have sent them. Dont ask me why that is, it is just good to know before I waste any more time. So, I actually got what I wanted and now Ill look for an alternative.
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Day 113 - 20th of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h/v3(Ultra), 16h/v4 (M), 16h/v4 (Ultra)
= 526h total
My ears hurt a lot the past few days. Not sure what the cause is.
Had a dream about a group of really hot girls sending me nudes and me commenting about them in a teasing, confident manner. In my dream I even posted the nudes here and someone commented āI cant believe it!ā and Saint deleted them haha
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Day 114 - 21 of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h/v3(Ultra), 16h/v4 (M), 16h/v4 (Ultra)
= 526h total
Dream about a dystopian world, which is vastly empty and where everything is limited. I am at a trainstation and there are a few animals. These are all the animals this world inhabits. They are maybe 5 or 7. The smallest one is a dragon-fly and the largest one a tiger. The tiger is on top of the food chain.
I watch a dog eating the dragon-fly, then the dog gets eaten and then this animal gets beaten by a bigger animal and the last animal that remains is the tiger.
Day 119 - 26 of Dezember 2019 - 117h/Emperor v3 (M), 377h/v3(Ultra), 16h/v4 (M), 16h/v4 (Ultra)
= 526h total
Some of you may heard of my strange reconciliation syndrome aka hurt in my ears. This is why I decided to stop listening for a week and then start again.
But guys, it really seems like much is happening under the surface. I dont notice it until I get these dreams and see the shifts in my thoughts and feelings.
The first dream a few days ago was about me following my father. I was as old as I am now and he was really angry and we went to my old school and he wanted to find my teacher to confront her with how much I suffered.
I told him to stop it because I was fine and it isnt part of my life anymore but he wont listen and kept searching and searching the whole building.
Then something happened which made me really anxious and I woke up. This thing had to do with a fear I have been running around for a long time.
When I woke up and thought about it, about the dream in which something desastrous happened, I noticed I felt nothing. I thought āMan, I actually got to feel worried now because maybe this means this is really going to happenā but I didnt. I came to the conclusion that this dream was a huge purge.
The dream I had today was even stranger. I was in a familiar park, talking to a robot. Cut. I see huge structures. It is a tunnel. A really wide, broad tunnel. I am in another world and this robot tells me something like this is the fundament of their world and I destroyed it or huge parts of it. Cut.
I am in another part of the tunnel. I am in the middle and to my left and right there are masses of these strange inhibitants, like in a stadium. They are cheering me on. I am standing on a pile of torned flags.
I learn that these flags are the remains of a dictator who oppressed these people and who is now gone. They tell me I defeated him and ended his reign and they keep cheering me on.
PS: I am not willing to pay for any damage I (unconsciously) did to these people. Call my lawyer, I am out.
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