Traditional Xmas food is bs. It’s supposed to be a beautiful day of growth, fun and love, but . Instead everyone over-eats, eats crap, gets intoxicated and also massive amounts of sugar, processed food and fat. It’s not a day of love, it’s a day where everyone agreed to get their inflammation on. Lol merry inflammation everyone.
In other words, I ate too much and feel like crap lol. That’s on me, my bad.
Just finished sitting in a dark room doing nothing for 2 hours. Don’t know exactly how I feel about that, but it felt like my mind had time to process stuff.
That session of sitting in a dark room for 2 hours was really good as it brought to the surface fears I have. Nothing new, but I gotta keep bringing them up and process them instead of suppressing them. I’m a master suppressor.
I will do my best to notice the discomfort and negative emotions and then dive into them fully. Try to shut off the mind and just experience it in the body. Embody the experience. It won’t be pleasant.
I still haven’t processed the experience I had over a year ago of getting fired and getting rejected by multiple places. It’s still there feeding fear. Can’t have that in there if I wan to split the heavens and shatter earth.
Yo @Skadoosh, I know you busy kicking butt, but if you get the time and interest, perhaps you can share how you healed/worked your masculinity. I’m researching and collecting resources, but as you know, most is crap, so thought to ask you.
Right now I’m going to re-read the classic David Deida, Fire In The Belly and Iron John again.
I’m also thinking of joining a men’s group, but lol, I feel so much resistance there.
The most important and overlooked is to incorporate something that addresses the subconscious mind. This could be subliminals, self-hypnosis, etc. If you have blockages around expressing or increasing your masculinity, and you read masculine development books - all of the information you encounter will just “bounce off the blockages”. It applies to any area of improvement. After that, you just let your subconscious mind guide you to whatever will help you improve. You’re already doing this. For example, you’re running Khan and feel drawn to re-read books about masculinity, this isn’t random.
I listened to masculine subliminals, the same as you. I don’t like reading books, so it manifests for me through internal pathways. It depends on the individual, some people have to join groups and read books to get the developments, whereas other people will just listen to the subliminal and have new insights throughout the week they can settle into. Sometimes it’s a mix of both. Some people look for masculine role models, etc. However she goes, lol.
Awesome, thanks for sharing. I like your grounded and understand deeper what you mean when you mention trust your intuition. You’ll get there, trust the process. My understanding anyway.
Agree with the bouncing part, sometimes I read a quote that bounced off years ago, but today I’m like how did I miss this?
More growth more problems. But in reality, more growth lol. Because it’s a new challenge and a new level up time.
So I have getting much more responsibility and in dealing with the challenges with that. Time management, gotta be locked down. Prioritisation, no sympathy. And also dealing with stuff that usually makes you flattered, but now just are not possible, like people asking you for help. You don’t have time and if you do help you don’t want to feed dependence too much and make sure they get more and more independent and think for themselves.
Also had my first candidate interview, now I’m on the other end. Luckily I don’t feel ”power hungry” and want to compensate for past rejections in my own job application journey. I like it so far.
Yes, that too. When you say “trust the process” and “trust your intuition”, people tend to interpret this as requiring blind faith. Think less in terms of having faith and trusting, and think more in terms of collaboration. Think of it like working with your subconscious mind like it’s a business partner.
If we are business partners, our relationship isn’t built on blind trust. If you want us to move towards a specific direction, then you don’t need to blindly have faith in me to understand, assist you, or listen to you. You would simply express your desire with clear intent, and I would act in support of that intent because we’re lifelong business partners. There’s nothing mystical, mysterious, or invisible about it. It’s just straight-up business. I don’t need to “trust” or “have faith” that you will respond accordingly - you just do because it’s your job, and I know this. This allows me to focus on my own part of the job.
Your subconscious mind isn’t a “business partner”, this is just a metaphor of how it’s worked with. It’s just a part of yourself. A lot of the internal work I’ve done involves improving my relationship with this part of myself because it makes a lot of things easier. It’s an insane investment with massive ROI. Most people don’t do this type of development because it requires you to be comfortable with more agency in your life, and agency is the thing that we fear the most - even more than death, lol. Accepting that your subconscious mind is just a part of you, means accepting a higher level of agency. That type of responsibility is “uncomfortable”, hence why people prefer vague ideas like “trust the process.”
Yes, when I say trust the process I meant like you said, I know my intention is to expand to the best of my ability, and if I have a blindspot, I’ll certainly overcome it when it’s time or perhaps I’m ready to let go. So I just focus, and take action and trust whatever is holding me back that I can’t see will become visible. As long as I don’t cope, to the heart of ability the will come up. I try to reflect and introspect, but sometimes I’m just blind. But eventually they come up. Slowly sometimes, but surely.
How did you start improving this relationship? What’s the keywords?
Or perhaps you meant, clear intents/directives/goals. Then remove any resistance or friction, so it can do its job?
I improved it the same way I improved masculinity.
Just replace “improving masculinity”, with “improving relationship with subconscious mind”.
It’s just another area of improvement, but instead of a specific area like wealth, dating, or fitness - it’s more like a meta-improvement that makes improvement easier in general, hence the massive ROI.
Think of it like strengthening your core muscles. Once your foundation is strong, everything else you do (running, lifting, balancing) becomes easier and more powerful.
For example: Someone attempting to triple their income struggles, and they’re in the dark, doubting their journey and processes, second-guessing if things are actually working or not.
Compared to someone who has the same goal but is just steamrolling through everything with a lot of alignment and knowing (including the blockages of the financial goal).
A lot of people have blockages around improving that relationship, much of it having to do with accepting a higher level of agency. The same way people have blockages about wealth, dating, masculinity, etc. Same with masculinity or any other area of improvement, you’ll have to incorporate something that addresses the subconscious mind. And again, everyone has different pathways. You might be drawn to read books about the subconscious mind, or agency, etc. Some people like me will just get insights throughout the week. Some a mixture of both. However she goes, lol.
The things I work on improving the most, are meta-improvements because of the ROI. I’ll work on improving my romantic life for a month, then next month I’ll switch to wealth, but every day I’m always working on some meta-improvement as the highest priority. I don’t just want to level up, I want to level up fast, easily, and powerfully. A lot of meta-improvement is based around thinking bigger, integrating higher levels of agency, and what you’re capable of doing. If you do that, and then work on romance - the depth, extent, and breadth of your QoL in that area (results, experiences, manifestations, possibilities, etc) are more profound because of the stronger core. If that makes sense. Some people’s wealth manifestations are coincidentally meeting wealthy millionaires by happenstance, and some people’s wealth manifestations are finding a $5 dollar bill in the Costco parking lot. Your manifestations and experiences reflect the scale of things such as your core foundation, agency, meta-beliefs, etc.
The key word is integration. In self-development in general, everyone is obsessed with knowledge and understanding. Knowledge is the easiest thing to acquire in this day and age because we’re in the age of technology. If you have internet, then you have easy access to any subject. If you want to learn about nutrition, weight-lifting, burning body fat, and putting on muscle, you can conveniently learn a boatload within a very small amount of time. Most out of shape people know and understand that they should be going to the gym and eating healthier - but they don’t. A lot of guys know and understand that porn is bad for them, they can share all their knowledge to you about dopamine desensitization, hijacking of sexual novelty with the click of the button, all of the science behind it and so forth… however, they still watch porn. In 2025/2026 it’s hardly ever a knowledge or understanding issue, it’s an integration issue. I’m often surprised by how much stuff people know or have been exposed to, but I’m rarely surprised by how much of it they’ve integrated.
I’m currently working on a ”meta”- improvement. Basically processing emotions and trying not to run from them (coping). It helps with processing recon, doing the work as you say, and leveling up. Basic breathwork and trying to sit with it.
I love the way you go about gaining insights. This insights that come weekly are almost more awesome than the results. Just seeing a blockage revealed and a resolution of it or at least a relief/clarity.
Integration, yes. I’ve read probably hundreds of books, and am an self- improvement professor, but as you say, but haven’t integrated much. Been working on this since my emperor run.
I guess I’m in recon, hence the second guessing. But it’s fine, it’s part of the process. Just keep going, the process is not fireworks. It doesn’t mean you’re not growing or moving forward just because there’s no fireworks. Keep your head down. Focus, action, process and embody.
The resources teach me things, inspire me, but the insights, the change and ideas come from me, comes from within. I am the one listening, taking it in, making it my own, reflecting, translating, transforming, taking action, fill in the gaps, adapting it to my life and coming up with complementary things to add to it. I have 100% agency.
