Rise to Stardom

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#744

My ex is a bit of a manipulator to be honest because I have proof of him manipulating situations however I do think it’s true. I’ve thought it myself for a while.

I’m not sure how, he didn’t say and I didn’t think to ask but I would believe my ex over this guy. Plus me and my ex are on good terms anyway so he has no reason to lie but it is what it is. My ex is most likely wanting to be true, which I can understand.

Like I said in my previous posts, I’m not gonna be a chaser. He can chase me. If he wants me ex then he can have my ex but I won’t be there to witness it - that’s not happening.

I do think Heartsong has bought me to this point for a reason tho. There has to be a reason I still like this guy and I’m being lead to opportunities to see if this guy likes me too. But time will tell, I’m just impatient.

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#745

My Khan version of LBQv2 is now in. Just waiting for the updated MSQv2 which should be in in the next couple days.

#746

Woo, my RM/Stark/PCC sub is in. MSQv2 in the bag.

I’ll get to listen to it in a second alongside my Khan LoveBirdQv2 sub too. Both in solace which is awesome.

Talking about Khan, I’ve just been working out and was wondering if Khan had actually been somewhat activated since I listened to it on Sunday (I’ve just realised I didn’t listen to my subs last night so I can listen now, yay) and I believe the answer is yes.

As you guys know I’ve been hot and cold with that guy. Yesterday I was taking absolutely no shit. I was so done with the whole situation. I was in no mood to be playing around with games and this whole 30 days no contact. I felt like this guy needed to know what he had done wrong as he wants to be my friend but after he led me on for weeks, physically assaulted me and hurt me in multiple ways your just going to try and be my friend and ‘move forward’ as he put it? No. Fuck that shit. I’m sorry but you need to be kept accountable.

And fuck my ex for sticking up for him too just because he has feelings for him. I’m so fucking done with both of them. I ended up unfollowing my ex and the studio because I’m tired of being made out to be the bad guy. I’m done with it.

So yeah, Khan has been somewhat activated because I’m not dealing with bullshit when I deserve so much better. I won’t be dealing with it.

They’ll miss me. I promise.

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#747

Definitely been feeling that IDGAF gotta do what’s best and most true to me type feeling with my KhanST4 custom. Only been running it for a little over week and that aspect has been quick to activate.

Keep it up man! You’re more and more finding your worth which is gonna get you so far in the long run.

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#748

I’ve actually spoken to both of them and told them I’m leaving the studio. I don’t want to leave but feel like I can’t be there but honestly fuck their opinions. The guy even called me selfish for wanting to leave because it means the studio will close.

I definitely feel more my worth.

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#749

Its funny but theres a tendency… people will call you selfish when you dont do what THEY WANT!!! I just gotta laugh about it.

Awesome!!!

:sunglasses: in all honesty being selfish in a balanced way is very healthy.

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#750

But the thing is I’m getting called selfish because I don’t want to be around them two possibly getting together or be with each other because it upsets me. It upsets me knowing my ex could get with my crush. Me leaving means the studio would close and it affects other people, which is why I didn’t leave before but why should I get to be unhappy whilst everyone else gets to enjoy their time? Including the guy and my ex.

Why would I want to be there. It also upsets me my ex is on his side. My ex said yesterday that he was fuming at the guy for what he did to me with the physical assault but why don’t I get to be angry?

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#751

Did I miss something how are your custom subs in solace version?

#752

You can ask for them in the notes.
I asked for both my upgraded customs to be made in solace.

#753

Darn guess I’ll have to do that next time which will be next year, you enjoying it so far?
So wait you get the solace version alone or with masked and ultrasonic?

#754

I agree with you completely!! Maybe the intention behind my previous answer didnt carry well in my words.
I feel you are doing the right thing.

#755

I get solace ultrasonic and masked. I love the solace version. So much easier to listen to.

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#756

Oh I knew you agreed aga, I was just going on a rant.
I appreciate your support dude. It’s lonely out there.

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#757

Rant on my friend!! We are here to support eachother in our paths the best we can.

#758

You are @Brandon… you lead yourself to victory.

Anger is more useful than despair.

Now how can you use that anger for determination to do something positive?

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#759

Edit. He’s been found. I cannot even describe my anger right now at what’s happened. But at least he’s alive.

#760

Turns out my intuition about this guy and my ex was right all along. They did things with each other yesterday.

I’m heartbroken.

#761

Khan is definitely kicking in.
I can feel it.

I can feel my power of giving less of a shit.
This can also be attributed to WANTED.

This week is the first week I’ve followed the recommendations of the new listening pattern and it seems to be working wonders.

Yesterday was emotional but today I’m good.
I found out that guy and my ex were flirting and everything whilst we were together (they weren’t sexual until Friday, but they had feelings for each other before we broke up) and I’m good.

I’ve actually stayed with my ex because that guy ran off for 7 hours, had police called and everything because we thought he’d kill himself (he clearly isn’t stable) and ended up going to his ex girlfriends house. He told my ex he wants nothing to do with him, he loves him but ‘not that way’ apparently.

I think he wants to be with him but hates the fact he’s gay. He’s trying to stay straight and that’s a shame. I’ve told my ex to completely ignore him and leave him to it. Don’t text him or anything. Now we just have to wait and get my ex to follow through. No chasing.

The guy left his stuff at my ex’s apartment so we have to see if he, or someone else, comes back because there’s quite a lot of stuff.

The guy is a nice guy, he’s just struggling really hard with his sexuality and it explains a lot.

We’ll have to see what’s going on.

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#762

Sorry there was so much upheaval in your life. If you even felt betrayed, I understand.

As much as you can, I would encourage you journal offline about what you learned, because I’m guessing you might be more open and you might discover very personal things about yourself.

Also Heartsong and WANTED should be helpful in you finding new and better relationships.

#763

Something has changed within me and to be honest I’m not sure what it is but it’s definitely from the subs.

I really don’t give a fuck anymore, which is great. I’ve been watching a lot of videos on YouTube and just something clicked.

I haven’t texted that guy since he ran off, I haven’t spoken to him or whatever else. My ex boyfriend is in pieces because they were technically in a relationship before we broke up (I found this out the weekend the guy ran off) and since then, regardless of how my ex treated me during the time of my upset, I’ve been there for him every day. Today I’ve had to come home to look after my dogs so it’s the first day I’ve been back and he’s alone.

But anyway, something changed. I really don’t give a fuck. My ex keeps telling me how heartbroken he is, how he doesn’t understand how the guy could do that (even tho I told him plenty to be careful of his emotions like a month beforehand) and everything else, and whatever else and I’ve just had to tell him to shut up and focus on himself now. I have thoughts about the guy every day because I liked him but I don’t need him like I thought I did and that’s a fucking great feeling to have.

I feel like I’m back to myself. I’m working out and going to the gym, eating semi-healthy (today, not so much :innocent:), working on myself, focusing on manifestation and getting myself out of that shit ass rut I was in.

It’s definitely a mixture of educating myself from YouTube and listening to subs that are helping me and that’s great for me.

My current stack at the moment, which I’ll be alternating, is MorningStarQv2 (Stark, RM, PCC) , LoveBirdQv2 (Khan, WANTED, Heartsong), Alchemist Stage 1 (to work on my energy, manifestation, visualisation, meditation) and Rebirth as a booster.

I’ll be alternating Rebirth and R.I.C.H week by week as I feel I need the two so it’ll be like a weekly wash out. May do that with other subs like my previous version of MSQ which has Inner Circle in as I missed a trick by not including it in my new upgrade. I will when Q+ comes out as I want it due to it being light and whatever else.

But truly, no more being humble. NONE of that. No more looking down on myself.

I look fucking great, I’m hot as fuck, I deserve more than I’ve got and I’m going to get it. I deserve a great relationship, I deserve great sex (and my fetish) and whatever else I want. I’m a fantastic person and whoever chooses not to believe that is truly missing out.

Brandon is back baby.

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