She can still get her own tea. Had enough of playing fetch.
Not everyone is playing a fetching game.
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I have revised my journal entry in my mind. I see the usefulness of taking this action. What assumptions I have and all that jazz.
I can self reflect and reframe/revise my thinking.
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Day 7 ~ MoGuL 7min. Loop
Listening to more on queen mindset. Confidence and security as a woman. Being of high value.
Seeing where I was extremely insecure and lacked confidence as a woman. I manifested so many situations reflecting back my insecurities.
I see why we manifest catalysts & karmic types of relationships or dynamics to promote more healing. How about no more of that!!! 
Insecurities make you delusional.
Insecure woman are addicted to bums. They play on your vulnerabilities and insecurities. There is an overestimation on them and underestimation on self. Somewhere in there is some sort of thinking that you need this person.
Insecurities blind you of your greatness.
Yep.
I had a nice evening hanging with an old male friend from the music scene. I so see where I didn’t enjoy stuff he was talking about. I thought to myself why am I associating with people who think like that. Is that useful for me and my own growth?
It’s good to explore and discover what’s good and what’s no longer good. I’m learning to stop overestimating people. Learning that it’s okay to hang out with someone and stop if it doesn’t feel good for me. It’s like going back to kindergarten and learning all over again. Even preschool in a sense.
I’d rather be alone than to not feel good around others. Why settle?
I want a change of scenery. I want to be around like minded people. So I’ve gotta get clear on what my Mind really is all about. No longer being a double minded one.
Make a decision and stick to it. Jeez laweez.
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I went to the coolest place yesterday when venturing around Detroit. A chiropractor office turned into a holistic healing facility!
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Day 8 ~ rEsT dAY
Re read yesterdays journal. How can it be a nice evening when I’m not enjoying my companies conversation? 
Out on a walk in nature with a coffee. It’s raining lightly. Questioning why I feel down with myself at the moment. Why I cling on and stay attached to certain things. I think I’ve got it then I don’t really got it after all!
I feel so complicated 
I’ve having a lot of dreams with minimal recall. I’m in recon today.
I’m using my tools tho. Detoxing my soul of all the lies and garbage of why I’m not worthy.
Edit: 2 different dudes “randomly” asked if I’m single since making this post. I felt annoyed by that. They are both far from my ideal type.
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Day 9 ~ 3min. loops of Seductress & HS
Seeing how this feels for today and tomorrow. HS is rocking me a bit with some recon. Clearly it’s needed.
I woke in the night feeling uneasy about stuff. Fell back asleep and slept til after 9 which isn’t usual for me.
Less doing and more just effin being. Okay.
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I’m listening to higher chakra sound bath music right now. I became teary eyed as soon as I heard the frequency. I feel that HS is dominating my stack a bit. Normally I get up and do yoga. Today I am not doing that. I am sitting here with healing music and my mushroom coffee reflecting on all the heartache I’ve experienced. All the times I betrayed myself to please another. All the times I let myself down.
The anger I feel stems from a deeply rooted disappointment and sadness towards myself.
I spent so long defending myself trying to prove I’m not a slut. I’m not a whore. So many gossiped about me. I had so much attention put on me. I was the girl at grade 9 dances with people circled around me. I would reveal skin but not strip of course. So many girls thought I was a threat. Boys who were taken wanted to be around me. Married men want to be around me. They talk to me behind their wives backs.
That has been going on for so long.
I’m the woman they think of while they’re fucking their wife. Why?
I dreamed of this the other night. A guy I used to crush on who is very handsome just recently got married to a beautiful powerful woman. He was pursuing me even though he has her. I didn’t enjoy that.
I notice where I will bring up men in front of the person I am with. Is this really because I just want to share my life or is it to make them jealous? Am I subconsciously testing them?
The first boy I truly gave my all to was a pretty terrible person. They were a drug dealer and very promiscuous. They lied to me often and were very sneaky. I did everything for them. I was wide open and completely vulnerable. The things I witnessed no 14-16 year old should be exposed to. He betrayed me, used me, was emotionally abusive & persuaded me often. Lots of manipulation. He was a classic narcissist with a very wounded inner child. I thought I could save him or fix him.
He’s been in and out of prison since then.
I used to sing this song often back then:
https://youtu.be/uODHVuxG_xw?si=elgAaUJa9X2iqkdz
Edit: to add. I realize where it’s been easier to forgive others than to forgive myself for what I’ve allowed. I’m not a victim. I feel empowered to do something about it now.
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Thanks for the reminder . The yogic journey isn’t just asana practice. The other limbs are just as important if not more crucial than the physical movement practice
Well, you are a woman. So probably 
women test. It’s in their programming.
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Day 10 ~ rEsT
Browsing around loving what I’m finding on here. Super helpful.
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Day 11 ~ Mogul 3min. loop.
We don’t have to take our clothes off to have good time 
I’ve been doing more heart focused healing work on myself through my yoga fusion practice. ~added qi gong and tantric dance movements.
Heart meridian massage is simply divine. Wow 
I notice how quickly I shift away from unloving harmful thoughts about myself. My self esteem and concept have been improving drastically.
As quickly as a crap thought surfaces a more loving thought takes its place.
Reaffirming who I am and who I am becoming without guilt or shame of the past.
Recon has me remembering my upsets but in a more productive and constructive way for my own betterment. It’s not a reliving to reinfect. It’s to actually heal and set that part free from the burdens and pain.
I look in the mirror until I enjoy what I am seeing. I won’t walk away until that happens.
I’ve been using my jade crystal roller every morning with my skincare routine. I can’t skip it!!
I am super dedicated to daily physical movement in whatever way I enjoy. I’m not being so rigid or obsessive about how that looks either.
I used to be a gym rat lifting heavy weights. I find I’ve become softer in how I work my body now. I’ve gotten more results this way too. Mostly just yoga and dance. I feel strong flexible and energized. I don’t use a scale. It’s been years.
I measure by how I feel when I look on a mirror or move about my day.
I’ve noticed I am more playful flirty and laughing a bit more. Crying less.
I have felt some sacred rage today. I used pranayama techniques during my morning practice today. Accepting and allowing the emotions and sensations. No need to judge. It has its purpose.
Enjoying dance/electronic house music today.
I have a new Reiki client coming over in an hour.
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We don’t have to take our clothes off to have good time
I never took a shower with clothes on but maybe it is time to try new things.
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That could be interesting. Or jumping in water with them on.
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Dude,
I am a little bit older than you.
Here’s the version of the song that I grew up with. (yup. he was the first one to sing it.)
(on an obnoxious note, this song may be about dry-humping?)
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There’s so many remixes of this song. Thank you for sharing the OG!
What year were you born? I’m 1987!
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In other words, that song, in my brain, conjures memories of roller-skating rinks. haha.
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