Do you have Sanguine, Love Bomb, or Elixir you could run to perhaps calm you down?
Fewer loops?
Have you tried 5 minutes loops?
Lower volume?
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I’ve got sanguine and elixir. I would have to cycle out regeneration to fit one of those I think. I’ll be honest I don’t know the best approach anymore for the stuff I’m running into. Kind of just hoping for the best. I think my custom, regeneration, and Sanguine might be a little too much input for processing if I went that route.
I’m on very few loops at the moment. Once every 3 days, but I actually took off longer this week and decided to resume when I felt like I’ve processed everything brought up. I’m also at 3 minute loops at the moment and I’ve drastically lowered the volume of my listening.
Overall I feel like I lack a trajectory in life. Which I think mistakenly people assume I need a direction. But a direction doesn’t alleviate the fact that at my core is a very grey muddled identity. I honestly don’t even know what I want out of life because half the time I don’t even feel attached to it. I think I’m working through this with Regeneration but it’s really ugly because I’m basically tearing down the persona I built up to interact in the world. That and getting beat down every day trying to keep up in a world that’s not ADHD friendly. I feel like I don’t have a lot of breathing room to grow and expand with these subs.
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What about taking 4 days off?
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I’ll give it a go. My main issue is I have trouble determining when I should listen again vs hold off. It’s not always clear. And lately it seems the longer I take off the more it integrates which leads me to believe ZP has both an immediate effect on me surface level wise and then a delayed effect a few days later. And I think that delayed effect plus the surface level effect can put me over the edge if I don’t time it right.
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Please enter a support ticket to get ideas about timing.
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Just submitted one. I’m considering the possibility of only listening once a week. 1 loop, 3-4 days of processing/delayed effects, the remaining 3 days to deal with the potentially heavier recon that comes on, then being clear for the loop on the next week.
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101% recon, do NOT drop Ascended Mogul lol.
Ascended Mogul is one of the best starter subliminals for overall development in ones life. It can only make you better.
The fact that you’re having all that contemplation over a sub like Ascended Mogul (of all subs lol) is very telling.
How long you been using the custom for? 3-4 months?
Go 6 months, at least lol
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Yeah a little less than 3 months, then I think 1 month I ran Ascension for a few months back. AM or Ascension has been in my stuff since Qv2 though, so I’ve definitely been in it for the long haul
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You might also be close to a breakthrough on AM because sometimes the subconscious mind as a last ditch attempt before big shifts, tries to give you reasons to drop the sub and make you second guess like a “ehh… mayybeee I should drop this sub, I don’t know” kind of way. I experienced this on Wanted, Emperor and Primal Seduction but I ignored it and kept going reminding myself of my goals and desired objectives. Then as I kept pushing, there was subsequently a big type of transformation/shift in my perception and thinking.
So yeah lol I would recommend sticking to your custom for 3 more months. Or atleast sticking it out a little longer lol
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For sure. I think the whole thing with ZP and archetypes and compatibility just gave my mind a loophole to weasel its way out of AM. Thanks for the insight, when I wrote that post by the end of it I was leaning more towards thinking it was recon. Even though my mind was coming up with compelling arguments. I’m not going anywhere with this custom for a long time, it’s pretty much got things mapped out for me.
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The good news. I started a track last night. The bad news, I worked until 10pm and forgot to eat. Ended up cooking until 11 and then went to bed at 12. But I feel I might have broken through the overwhelm of working with the MPC.
The inspiration hit for doing something and I grabbed it even though it was an incredibly inconvenient time on a Sunday. But what are you gonna do? Life of an artist I guess.
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Been feeling hurt, alone, scared, all kinds of stuff lately. But I know now how I want to move through this world. Confident, sure of myself, and with a slight aggressive edge that keeps away the bs. Emphasis on slight. I’ve lived in fear most of my life at the mercy of how others would exploit me based on that fear. It’s sucked and I’m acknowledging the hurt now. But acknowledging this hurt and insecurity doesn’t mean it’s my more authentic self. That’s the mistake I keep making. Pulled back into this trauma and thinking I have to live out of it vs redefine how I want to live. That’s freedom to me, not being bound to behavior as a result of conditioning in the past.
May have asked you this somewhere else, if so, pardon.
Do you have the sign Cancer anywhere prominent in your natal astrology chart?
It’s the sign I associate most directly with the experience of High Sensitivity. The archetype is symbolized by the image of a crab. This animal unites the contrasting elements of an incredibly soft, sensitive and vulnerable inner body and a hard, unresponsive protective outer shell.
There are other archetypes that represent elements of sensitivity, but the Cancerian symbol does so quite strongly.
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I believe so. I remember I posted my chart here somewhere and you analyzed it. From what I remember your cancer estimate was pretty accurate. I’ll see if I can find the post later.
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yep. found it.
your Ascendant and Mars and Chiron are all Cancerian.
(It was in your previous Liminality journal.)
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Interesting you bring this up. I recently started a book about adult children of emotionally immature parents. One of the things she leads with is how more sensitive children are impacted more. So I’ve been kind of exploring these sensitive character traits more.
The 12 astrological sign-archetypes are created equal.
However, they are not valued equally in every culture or society.
Power dynamics and relationships play out across time and space, and together with them, some natural characteristics are (artificially) elevated and others (artificially) debased.
How do we artificially debase something? By pretending that its virtues do not exist.
And by the dictum of consensual reality, what a sufficient number of people refuse to perceive, ceases to be noticed; and (thereby) ceases to “be”.
It’s important for us to acknowledge that we exist, as social beings, subject to such influences. It’s not an evil conspiracy or a plot. It’s actually an effective evolutionary adaptation. But it (i.e., socially-enforced reality) needs to be utilized rather than worshipped and obeyed.
In those inevitable cases in which consensual reality is not serving us, we need to learn the skills of modulating and dethroning those forces.
And the cultural positioning of the Cancer archetype is a perfect case of this.
Trained and blinded by the widespread assumptions of modern, Western culture, it is easy to see Cancer as a ‘bad’ or a ‘weak’ sign.
When ‘bigger’, ‘louder’, ‘more forceful’ are assumed to be inherently ideal or superior, anything not of those qualities seems to suffer by comparison.
But just keep in your mind the example of the scalpel. Consider the situations in which it is much more advantageous to have this:
than to have this:
Each has its own strengths. Each can accomplish things that the other cannot.
If you have the Cancerian archetype prominent in your nature, you must determine to dive into the incredible value of NUANCE. That word must become one of your clarion calls.
It’s where your genius lays.
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I’m gonna be honest man, I don’t even know right now. This book I’m reading has me questioning a lot. Undoubtedly a manifestation of Regeneration to help me figure out things, but still heavy. I’m seeing that my goals with AM are a little muddied and are actually a way to uphold protective mechanisms inside me vs true freedom. Not all the goals, but it’s enough to make me wonder what I really need for myself vs what I think I do.
Have you thought about running Ascension rather than AM?