Started to sleep better after each wash-out day in this 3th cycle. There is a lot of energy in me that wakes me up in the middle of the night, but I feel very tired. It’s such a weird feeling of having energy but also feeling tired. I’ll hope this will slowly fade away over time when listening to the subs.
Even with the difficult morning, I got so many insights when I woke up! First of all, I know now for sure that it’s time to stop DR and go on with the things that bother me and came up because of DR. First and foremost my sexuality and how I reject this all the time. I learned in my spiritual path that expressing sexuality is a waste of energy and that woman mostly take your energy. What can be true, but honestly I’m done with that path and want to listen to my desires that I have.
After this difficult year, by far the most difficult I’ve had in my life. It’s also time to build up my confidence again and start loving myself and my body again. Most stupid thing is that I’m ripped as hell
Been doing fitness for 4 years now and I get complimented a lot about my body and people looking. But for myself, I only see my shortcomings because of negative thoughts that are still present.
And last I want to have my dream job and doing something that just makes the fire burn inside me. Everything in my life is on hold before I get this job, because there is a big possibility that I have to move again and after moving I can settle down and build up from there again. Right now that’s kind of wasted energy because I live in one city and work in another. So to do something that I’m passionate about. Tomorrow I have a job interview with a job that really feels like it could be perfect for me.
So how am I going to achieve this? I’ll do it in stage’s.
Fundamental stage
Stark: Will be the base of my stack for the next couple of months. It has everything that I need and want when it comes to productivity, wealth, romance and expressing my true self.
Wanted: To feel in-tune with my sexuality again and be proud again of my body and how I am as a person. Simply feeling enough and worthy.
CWoN: Was trying to figure out if Chosen or CWoN would suit me best and decided to go for CWoN. The nature part is a good bonus, but mostly the inner peace feeling and expressing emotions even better. Also, @SaintSovereign said in his Journal that CWoN could potential be even better than Chosen when it comes to job applications and promotions.
The stage after this will include Primal seduction because’s it very focused on feeling sexual again and being in tune with this aspect of yourself. I decided not to include it right away because I want to lay the basis first with wanted and find an amazing job. Maybe I don’t even need it anymore after running this stack.