no way
@Invictus
2 Likes
Fahrenheit
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Stark core
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EF3 core
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Ascension Chamber core
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Heracles
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Serum X
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Entranced
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Ethereal presence
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The spotlight
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Gloryseeker
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Physicality shifter sexiness
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Earthshaker sexuality
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Carpe diem ascended
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The Way of ROI
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Secrets of Akasha - Wealth
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Victory’s call
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SPS: Endocrine system
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Deep sleep
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Joie de vivre
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Jupiter
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Void of Creation
So I was talking about an upgrade for the last couple days on here, and well, this is the result of that, and while it’s similar to a couple customs I made previously (most notably Quasar and Rockstar), there are still some things to highlight that I noticed being different today (compared to the aforementioned customs):
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I’m smoking more consciously, as in I’m not just smoking extreme amounts just because I can.
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I haven’t spent excessively today (so far), but did notice that I’m feeling a bit pissed over all the money I wasted just this month (even though we’re not even halfway through).
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I planned an hour nap, ended up sleeping for around 5-6 hours, and woke up feeling a bit bulkier than when I slept, as if I got a pump in my sleep.
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multiple people already reached out to me to hangout with them, but I ended up just seeing my stoner friend instead (at his place atm).
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lastly, my tolerance to smoking suddenly feels lower
.
Let’s see how this one plays out over the next few days.
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What you mean lower?
You getting satisfied for longer periods smoking less?
Or you feel nothing when smoking now?
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Lower tolerance means increased effects.
I need less to feel higher
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Sick custom dude, hope that’s the upgrade you have been looking for and I like the idea of AC being a third core.
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So far I’m enjoying it, as the Stark + EF combo is the one I want to focus on the most, but since I kinda wanted to do an upgrade to the last one I had (Quasar, in the previous journal), I figured I could do the experiment with AsC and Void of creation (and Jupiter) in one custom with the archetype I’m enjoying the most, so there’s that.
So, at the moment, I’m noticing that I’m kinda missing the missing the gym, I’m at the service camp and I don’t know if duty finishes early today or not, hopefully it will, so I can go gym early and spend some quality time with the weights 
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As for Euphoria, I think it’s been the main reason I’ve been digging deeper into my self destructive habits so much, and while I only briefly mentioned my spending habits, I wanted to expand more on all that, so this post will be a bit different to my usual ones.
Things that I’ve been dealing with internally, and reflecting upon:
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Spending habits; the more I think of this, the more I realize that there might actually be a deeper issue here, and it’s related to something I once talked about with my girl randomly, but basically, I remember I was at a mall with my girl and wanted to get a certain hoodie, but as it was a game franchise apparel, it was a bit pricey, and at the time, I had to call my dad to ask him to send me some cash so I can buy, and the thing I remember from after that call was me feeling a bit too ashamed that I keep doing that, like what kind of a man am I if I can’t even just buy myself something I like without having to ask my dad for money, and that’s when I told my girl a certain sentence:
“one day, price tags would be a foreign concept to me.”.
back then I didn’t really think about what I was saying, or where it was coming from, but thinking about it now, I realize that a certain part of me was so insecure about not being able to afford things that I ended up completely changing my relationship with money in an extreme way, and due to the fact that it was extreme, it lead to the development of an extremely opulent and carefree behavior (in relation to money). -
Sexuality and loyalty: I’m pretty sure some of you still wonder if I do take my girl’s offer of allowing me to hook up with others, and while it’s an amazing thing to have such sexual freedom, did any of you ever wonder why I never really advanced with other girls much? The most I’d do would be to keep them around but not advance sexually, and then ended up telling my girl I don’t wanna do it, but now I realize why I keep saying no and then I would bring it up again so that I get the confirmation again to do it, but then again, I wouldn’t do anything, and I realized that the reason for this goes back to all the issues I had with the 2 exes who cheated, and that has deeply rooted this paranoia within the deepest parts of my psyche, to the point where I don’t even trust myself to be as sexual as I want due to my own mistrust of my own loyalty, and I guess those issues I developed from my exes cheating make me project them on myself, because I know deep down that if I did end up doing something with others, it will scar my girl, even if she says it’s okay, so that’s another thing I’m reflecting on and dealing with.
Other than that, I’m pretty optimistic about the way my life is currently flowing, just need to adjust my mindset towards certain things.
3 Likes
Something’s off
I wanted to nap for a couple hours yesterday, and earlier today as well, and both times, the naps turned into a 5 hours sleep, which seems a bit too coincidental 2 days in a row
I thought maybe I’m not sleeping enough, but I’m getting 4 to 6 hours per night, and 5 midday as well
This is either 9 or 11 hours in total 
Damn, I am so good at maths.
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So just a while ago I got a manifestation from my custom, literally something I said today became a reality, that’s literally how powerful this custom is with the addition of AsC;
Basically, I got the early leave today like I mentioned previously:
An hour after this we were told that we can leave 
Anyways, that’s not the main manifestation I wanted to talk about, the thing that happened was that when me and my friends were leaving, I told them the following:
“I feel like we will get told to take tomorrow off except for that one guy, cause he’s been skipping days.”
And what do you know, an hour ago I got a call and the guy said the following:
“Hi, just wanted to let you know that the lieutenant decided to give you a rest day tomorrow, see you on Sunday.”
After hearing that I simply asked: “all of us?”, and the reply was:
“no, just you 3, the last one has to come as punishment, even on the weekend.”
Ooooof.
Did I manifest a punishment for the dude along with my day off 
?
Oopsie
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I mean if he has been skipping he deserves it anyways 
also this might get his head in straight! So maybe you manifested his redemption arc 
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Hahaha, well I doubt he’d learn.
The guy works as an executive in the governmental hospital, and has connections to get unlimited sick leaves that’s why he only shows up once or twice a week.
I was gonna write something, but I’m kinda not willing to end up manifesting it for him, cause it would be prettyyyyy bad 
Anyways, on another note, The Spotlight is kicking in, and while I kinda had a little bit of the “market yourself online”, it wasn’t all that strong, as I was more of “IRL popular” than online, but now, I’m slowly starting to post more and stuff on my socials, and just a few minutes ago, I posted my Apple Watch setup on the Apple Watch subreddit, and for some reason, I’m craving reactions to content, which is adding a bit more fuel to creating content.
I don’t wanna commit to this just yet, but I might do a test with my instagram, and see if a casual pic of me ends up getting more engagement than it normally would, and since I haven’t posted in over a year on there, the test would be very objective, since it would really need to have more engagement in order to be remotely viral locally.
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Oh well he doesn’t really a shit anyways Also while I have never used The Spotlight (with the exception of Stark if it has it in there) cause well I dont use/have social media at all lol but thats dope that it seems to be working out for you. I am the same way though im more of a IRL kinda dude, and WANTED and LBFH seems to really make me a lot more social and popular, with today being a huge indicator of that.
I will keep an eye on this though, cause if I ever decided to get social media again whether for my business or for myself The Spotlight could really help.
2 Likes
Yooo I’m glad that combo is working out for you, and I know how good that feels 
The reason I’m using Spotlight right now (with both Gloryseeker and Stark) is because I wanna make sure I have a good online reputation as well for when I take my new position at the Olympics .
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Yeah tbh it was pretty unexpected lol but I will take it. I was thinking the same thing with Spotlight and Gloryseeker for my massage business, with Lifeblood Fable as another possibility for a positive reputation, lol but that is further down the line!
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i was gonna add Lifeblood as well, but this time I wanted to focus less on that + my reputation is already pretty good.
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Yeah that’s understandable and that way it does make it more personable that way as well. Although WANTED refresh might continue to surprise me
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So day 3 since I got Fahrenheit ZP, and I just finished my second ever loop of the sub (took an off day yesterday), and boy is it exciting to listen to this.
I noticed that there’s something holding back my impulsivity, and I haven’t run Euphoria since the day I got Fahrenheit, mainly cause I want to judge it objectively, but damn.
@Malkuth do you think this is due to ROI and Akasha combining?
I feel much more in control, and noticed that the last 2 days, I barely spent money on anything other than food and petrol, so that’s kinda big for me, but today I’m going out on a date with my girl to her favorite restaurant, so I’ll be able to judge it more objectively, cause the restaurant is in a mall, and malls are my biggest weakness
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Song of the day
