Rejection issues and approval seeking

[Malkuth]

@James

Today literally by accident I discovered I enjoy grappling and I would love to take Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in the near future

In my view (and in line with my own recent experiences), none of these discoveries and realizations are actually happening by accident. They are actually the direct expression of the subliminals you are working with.

I might even go so far as to say that the primary ‘solution’ to the issues you are discovering is probably to keep doing exactly what you have already been doing for the past months. That, after all, is what has led you to these insights in the first place.

Here’s a useful picture:

You’ll notice that there are 4 stages of improving performance or of mastering an issue.

Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence is when we feel basically fine and don’t have a sense of any issues. There are problems and issues, but we don’t have much framework for them, so we don’t recognize them clearly.

Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence actually feels subjectively like losing progress. Suddenly we seem to have all of these issues that need to be resolved. In fact, this is actually a step of making progress.

And if we continue, we’ll find that—now that we’re facing reality more skillfully—we’ll develop more and more ways to deal effectively with those issues. And that’s the process of learning and growth.

I think one of those effective ways may involve applying a program like Ascension (and probably many others that will pop into your mind intuitively).

At the same time, you can have faith in your mind. The same mind that brought you recognition of these issues is the mind that is (RIGHT NOW) creating more effective ways for you to understand and deal with them.

[Invictus]

This might sound weird, but WANTED can help with this.

[lrw]

That’s a great point @Invictus . If Wanted is not your thing @James then maybe Emperor will be.

My partner got so much attention when has was running Wanted. There was a never ending supply of stares, smiles and winks. Then when he got on Emperor, the attention hasn’t been as broad spectrum, but the quality of the attention has increased so that it feeds his self esteem and his progress.

[Yazooneh]

not to derail your thread @James what’s your history with subs apart from DR?

[Leandros]

Khan st1, Ascension, Emperor and Wanted is in my Experience perfect for those issues.

[Seeker]

Is this what you’re referring to?

@SaintSovereign

• Ascension: Alpha title, heavy emphasis on internal value and strength
• Ascended Mogul: Ascension + Mogul. For those who want more alpha scripting than what’s in Mogul but less than Emperor’s aggressive alpha vibe.
• Emperor: A more comprehensive alpha and empire building program that hits deeper. Look at the module lists for the Q versions of Ascension vs. Emperor. Emperor is MUCH more comprehensive. This is still true with the ZP version.
• Khan: An even more comprehensive alpha program, as it’s four stages, thus we can include even more scripting, as well as “step up” the scripting in power as you progress along the program.
• Stark ZP: Alpha and empire building, with an emphasis on innovation, fame and achieving celebrity status

[James]

That would be it. Thank you

[Seeker]

You’re welcome.

[TheBoxingScientist]

You really should be investing in a custom. That way you can choose exactly which modules to add to your core to combat validation and approval seeking.

Keep in mind not all approval seeking is bad. If your boss one day said to you.“james your doing an excellent job”. You are obviously being recognized for your hard work and you should be happy with his comments. As it could lead to better pay and promotion.

[Fractal_Explorer]

I say go for it. I’m kind of in the same boat but I came to this realization a few years back. I am very avoidant to the point where I rationalize bad decisions after the fact. They aren’t big decisions, but it’s like a chain of bad ones that add up to a trainwreck.

If it’s any help I’ve been running Ascension ZP for about a week now. I can say that it definitely builds up a strong self centered disposition to yourself where the opinions and thoughts of others doesn’t matter as much. I ran regen zp for a bit too and I turned into a mess. It was kind of eye opening for me how healing subs aren’t always the way to go.

Maybe give it a month and see how you feel?

[Michel]

Depending on your disposition a title like Chosen may help a lot in just feeling good about yourself. Ascension does give you a starter boost of self pride for the first time until the time when the emotional stuff does need to be dealt with. Healing is not pretty but it doesn’t need to be debilitating whilst you wait for an improvement in mood.

Chosen + Chosen from Within. Try either for a week, or even both.

[ksub]

Rejection and approval issues stem from two causes : 1 - Low self-esteem/self love/self confidence. 2 - Too much importance placed on someone else’s opinion.
You have have to deal with BOTH causes at the same time.

For Low self-esteem/self love/self confidence it often caused that trauma. For that something like : Regeneration, Rebirth or CFW is good.
I would actually stack CFW and Regeneration for a few months. Not less.

For #2 (Too much importance placed on someone else’s opinion). You have to build self reliance and self confidence. For that, I would run Ascension for a few months as well.

In a nutshell a great stack would be : CFW + Ascension or Regeneration + Ascension.

Another great possibility is Khan stage 1 + Ascension.

[Gemstone]

DRZP st4. Just stay on it for 2 cycles no matter what!

[Squarrox]

A totally different suggestion, but based on my own experience and martial arts based. Until you can afford to train Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, I wholeheartedly recommend a book called “Fit to Fight” by Peter Consterdine. I did Muay Thai for thirty-four years, so I know of what I speak.

There are a lot of drills in this book that you can do on your own that will drive your confidence through the roof and make you beholden to nobody, but if you have access to a bag and a skipping rope, even better.

You’ll absolutely hate this kind of training - everybody does - it’s martial arts like it used to be, before health and safety and insurance etc. Btw, I’ve never even met Mr. Consterdine, no affiliation.

[TheDerpinator]

As good as DR was. it hasnt completely removed the issue for me (although it has gotten better). DR def helps a shitton but imo it would greatly benefit for a purely alpha sub alongside it like ascension.

[weir]

I am also in the same boat…rejection issues…I am trying to manifest her with AC but it would be better if I forget her & concentrate on most important things in my life

[TheBoxingScientist]

I think DR would be the ideal product for you use it for 6 months starting from stage 1 and you will reap the benefits.

[magician]

Quantum limitless, emperor, any sub that keeps you focused in your life goals could help.

[magician]

I have learnt that maybe you really don’t need healing just using that energy to work on something more important than our little problems, like learning new things.

[Athanaxos]

Not sure if relevant but… for me my earlier fear of rejection and approval seeking came mainly from my Niceguyitis and all it’s associated sub-optimal behaviors and attitudes. Once I was able to deal with all THAT underlying muck, those two issues weren’t such a big deal anymore.

Still pops up every now and then, though. It can be a bit sneaky like that at times, especially when really stressed