Reflections of Apollo

Journals - Major Programs
#427

Oh yes, you did tell me - my apologies. Which do you feel is helping you the most? What does your intuition say is best for you?

There’s plenty other ways to release the tension brother. Private journal? Say how you real feel, no holding back. There’s loads. I learnt to stop holding back and it truly helped me in embracing the feelings I felt and let them go easier.

Again, you did say - my apologies man.

As always I appreciate your kindness brother. You’re my brother now, not even my friend. I see a lot of potential in you and can’t wait for you to continue to live up to it and experience your absolute greatness.

1 Like
#428

Don’t worry about it, I had to reread my journal to check what was working well for me.

I think it’s my previous stack of EQ and PS to be honest, plus the healing. I was winging it without any issues, just the libido thing, but I attribute that now to fatigue.

The trojan horse here is DR, I think this one shook things up.

I was like, okay regen elix is nice, it’s healing me, gently but surely, and then DR arrives.

It’s feels like it did not come to my house for smaller repairs with hammers and saws, but with a damn wreckling ball.

To think I said it was gentle in the beginning… :thinking: That comment aged like fine milk.

EQ and PS. My favorite subs for sure. Stark is nice, it makes me feel open and more jubilant.

My only issue with EQ was I felt I was a bit insensitive, and I didn’t like that.

We sometimes pray for our suffering to end, without realizing others have been suffering as well due to our actions. That we are the topic of someone else’s prayer, and that bothers me. I want to go through and enjoy my life without causing suffering to anyone.

My task right now is to retain EQ but give it levity, empathy, give it joie de vivre, enjoy the little things while excelling in my chosen field.

To do it with stacks rather than customs, until I am more adept and got more ideas what individual subs in my toolbox does and what modules they contained that I liked.

#429

Dragon Reborn does not come to play.
It might knock gently at first but then boom, your mind and body are embraced with a fiery hug that burns down your negativity, emotional, mental and physical trauma.

This isn’t done without sacrifice though. A sacrifice to the foundation you already have/had. But you will be able to build upon it again.

Remember though, it’s okay to feel how you’re feeling.

So, I’m assuming you want to stick with Emperor/PS? Is that correct? Do you feel like you’re moving onto your new stack for no reason - just to experiment? Would you continue to stick DR out?

Sometimes we don’t do it directly or on purpose but sometimes we have to hurt others to better ourselves, but we don’t mean to. Not always anyway. Forgive yourself for the hurt you’ve given to others. Direct the dragon to help you heal yourself of this pain you’re currently feeling and write down any emotions you’re feeling. Allow yourself to express them.

3 Likes
#430

Could you kindly be more precise if it comes to what you’re trying to achieve? It would help you establish your programs and listening routines and it would also help us help you. :slight_smile:

2 Likes
#431

You know what? That’s a great idea. :thinking:

… :blush:

I gave myself leeway until January before Khan but it seems like that’s going to be put on hold due to the appearance of DR.

For sure… omgwtfbbq of a sub indeed.

I’m sticking with it, and deemed it untouchable in my routine, like jcast, 90 days on ST1 if need be. I might even need to delay my foray into Khan I planned for.

There’s a lot of useless things to burn down in my psyche. Hopefully DR will synergize well with whatever I stack with it.

It’s best to focus on one sub, but I know I can’t do that. Best thing I could do is stick with DR and work around it with my remaining two Q’s advised in the guidelines. Stick with 3 majors and one ultima.

When are you going to try your custom btw? When the time comes I’ll be asking you guys for your input with my custom, by the that time I’ll have an idea what I want exactly.

1 Like
#432

lol!

My only concern would be the term Dungeon in a subliminal for family well being and empathy :joy:

#433

It was strictly a play on words.

BTW, I saw your weightlifting numbers. DL 600 lbs/SQ 500/BP 335. How in God’s name did you get that strong? I’m like 320/200/200.

1 Like
#434

In the beginning no everything was purpose based and clear, then I was totally able too, especially with woman involved, and my work was done. Then when I upped the loops significantly again I only want to focus on work and routine. When I added my second custom, I became much more able to enjoy the little things again in balance. Now on my Emperor custom I don’t get nearly the same intolerance or lack of interest in those things. However I am very intentional and cut of chit chat if I am busy or being intentional.

When I think about it both my overall life drive and my sense of QL lite are kind of gone or significantly normalized on my custom. (I really hope QL lite made it into Emperor custom store core-:hushed:-as well as Ascension and Mogul-I don’t know how that would work-cores within cores :slight_smile: ) My enjoyment and holistic ease and effectiveness in life have gone up though. I may test EQ store again to compare soon at some point

1 Like
#435

The best argument I heard on this is that D&D are good editors but not story tellers. This was why they couldn’t do the parts that GRRM didn’t complete

Frankly, I don’t mind. If he finishes it, I will read the rest of the books. If he doesn’t, I will be reading something else. And this is coming from a major GRRM fan

1 Like
#436

Hahaha! That’s just perfect naming :ok_hand:

1 Like
#437

I was totally teasing, it wouldn’t be a bad name at all :wink:

I’ll give you the short-long story

Started at 16 with Joe Defranco’s (NFL trainer/program -did not work with him) Westside for Skinny Bastards program and vertical jump program. I spent a few summers training in a barn in Europe that was like a Dungeon (dingy not dark), speaking off lol, it had all the old school stuff, no AC, and open ends so lots of sunlight coming through with horses walking around outside. It was just me and my twin most of the time in there so the environment was great. The working out coincided with a massive puberty spurt-and I gained 50 lbs and 4 inches of height one summer.

I played basketball and was short so wanted to dunk and knew the more raw horse power I had -strength to body-weight ratio-in squat-the better base I would have for force production-speed and jump-so that was my original intent.

I moved into a more traditional West Side Barbell Split after my squat got over 315 and then when I got college ended up joining/starting a powerlifting club where we competed in maximum security prisons.

During training we’d train with D1 athletes in an incredibly intense competitive atmosphere and that also really helped. I never got injured-until later :(, I trained really smart and was always adjusting my protocols based on extensive study and coaching from world class trainers. And I loved it, saw how my Rugby and basketball performance got better and better as my training got smarter, so it created a virtuous cycle. So all in all, passion, genetics, early timing, reason for training-competition and sports, intense environment, great training partners and highly competitive-testosterone driven, and smart training protocols and coaching.

2 Likes
#438

I’m trying to read into whether this is sarcasm or not haha. Not issues if it is but I’m reading it pretty blunt.

If you really do want to do PS and Emperor and they aid your goals - do them! I’m sure the other subs can wait. Except DR - it’s important like you said.

Sounds perfect to me. I think I’m nearly ready to move onto Stage 2 but I’m unsure as of yet.

Agreed. I can’t just use 1 sub. I need more. Stack rotation is powerful though. You’ve got this.

My custom is worrying me. I’ve got a few things to put into place before I make it. I’m waiting to see what the free sub is too so I know whether it’s something to add if it becomes a module in the future.

In the mean time I’ve messaged Fire to see if there’s anything wrong with it or he can advise to make it a better custom…I am impatient with wanting it tho. I want it now.

#439

I used to love this program but those Bulgarian split squats were a bitch. I miss going to the gym sometimes because I love this program so much.

1 Like
#440

I don’t know why but it makes sense you know this one !

I hate(d) unilateral leg training lol

1 Like
#441

Nothing special really. I lost my main source of income so I want to fix that.

Augment my income, be interested again to learn a new skill.
Find and focus on a career.
Repair my relationships and heal my internal issues, both mental and physical.
Boost my inner strength, my self-esteem.

I want EQ for everything it is, just lessen the intensity, make it less serious and be more open to enjoy the little things. Perhaps gain the innovativeness and open-mindedness of Stark as well.

I was trying to achieve this through stacking cause I’m not sure I’m ready for a custom without at least trying the majors I’m interested in, extensively.

I figured PS with it’s inner game and social tendencies would balance EQ’s intensity and seriousness. Perhaps it will, in time, but I’m at a rocky situation right now, I just need to balance my equilibrium.

I’m always open to suggestions and recommendations, and hopefully when the time comes and I’ve gathered enough confidence to make a custom, you’d share your insights. Thinking about that at this point is somehow daunting.

1 Like
#443

Oh ok. Well I played chess in high and was super skinny. Anyway, I’m proud to get where I am now and not looking to get super big. Glad to see you did it au naturel.

1 Like
#444

And I knew you were kidding around with the name.

1 Like
#445

Haha no it’s not. I’ve just been thinking about doing this for some days now, and I decided okay maybe we give it another shot. I’m kind of irritated with myself for flip flopping, so yeah. Thanks for the push… :rofl:

Hey that’s good. Let me know what you think of ST2. I think from the description that’s where the real healing comes in.

Ahh I’m so excited for the free sub. If it’s a wealth and luck ultima, I’d jump for joy! :heart_eyes:

2 Likes
#446

That’s fantastic, that’s more important than numbers
Since my injuries,
My numbers are way down, and I’ve learned to be happy and proud with exactly where I am at and with how progress looks like now as opposed to then. I was never happy with where I was at before, even at my best.

yes, never tempted even remotely for that, I knew I was to volatile for something like that.

1 Like
#447

Alternatively you could give yourself a time period to be that intense and focused, and see what magic you can make happen :slight_smile:

1 Like