Reflections of Apollo

Thanks for the reference!

This is definitely me as a player :joy: can’t say I’m proud of it.

Just for fun here are some tentative cores ideas for the Daniel Ocean custom

Option 1:
StarkQ
Ascended Mogul
Primal

Option 2:
StarkQ
Emperor: House of Medici
Primal Seduction

Option 3:
Emperor
Power Can Corrupt

Option 4:
Khan ST4
Daredevil

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PC Master Race FTW!

You are the guys that kill me every day and I yell at :sob:

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Had a very busy day, but I’m glad I was able to keep to my schedule. 1 more loop of PS and that’s it.

Having 2nd thoughts about experimenting with StarkU, I think I saw something in passing today that mentioned Ultimas are not meant to be permanent, I’m still confused about that, so more reading to do.

Anyway I think EQ is digging deep, I was distant today, not in an angry manner or anything negative, I was just focused to do my own thing.

I have a slight headache though, and ironically, I remembered gatorade as I type this. It’s like I’m under some anti-electrolytes enchantment or something.

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I feel like this is what you’re referring too. Azriel seemed to clear it up.
I feel like you’re still pretty lost on what kind of stack you want to do/Ultima you want.

What are your goals again? Go into depth with them and maybe we can help you pick out the perfect stack for you. I want you to be 100% happy however I also know mine and your minds are alike, we get bored of our stack easily and get lost even when we are aligned with the one we need/want.

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Nah, not lost anymore. I think we’re beginning to understand now. I’m currently getting a glimpse what EQ is all about and Stark, It’s Khan that I haven’t tried yet, which I’m not sure would jive with my personality. I was never overly sexual. Sure I may give winks here and there but that’s it. If it fails, I could always pretend something was in my eye.

EQ, I’m used to being a lone wolf kind of guy. Stark, I can be jovial too. I’m weird. It’s Khan that’s the wildcard here, I think

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What the heck, I’m in my journal. I thought I was replying to you in Azriel’s Khan thread.

Oi… The fatigue. I played all 9 loops, side by side.

Get your electrolytes buddy.

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I’m glad to hear you aren’t lost. Music to my ears, truly.

Khan would open you up sexually in ways you wouldn’t even imagine. I’ve never considered myself sexual and have things that I’m interested in that aren’t sex and now I’m completely open about it - previously before Khan I was super embarrassed talking about it - now I don’t give a shit. I couldn’t care less. I was born this was and I’m going to embrace it. That’s the magic Khan gave me over anything else.

I can’t believe I just realised that, khan gave me the freedom to be myself openly - sexually. It made me realise that I’m not just some idiot fantazing over this ‘rare’ fetish I have.

Anyway but I ramble on in the findings of my own ignorance - do you want to be a Khan? Is it what you’re looking for? Khan is pretty similar to what you’re asking for in regard to Emperor/Stark but without the popularity/fame aspect of Stark from my experience.

If that’s what you’re interested in then sure to for it.

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I don’t think you are lost too, we just have something very specific in mind, for our needs, and we’re trying to find it right now by either experimenting with stacks or customs. There’s some parts of EQ that I could remove, and there’s aspects that I wish Stark had.

Khan sounds great, if it trully is the sub to bring out the best that we could be, well well well sign me up, but pac seems to be dealing with some aggressive vibes. Have you noticed this while you were on Khan?

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Yeah man, I definitely felt an angry side on Khan and it made me angrier when people noticed it but it isn’t bad - we all have our off days and that shouldn’t stop us from being the best we can be.

I think Khan could do massive things for you actually.
I’d probably even skip Stage 1 considering you’re doing DR or do Stage 1 since it has the Khan Core in it I believe alongside Stage 1 and run it stage by stage.

Bare in mind, from my own experience and others A stage 2 is rough as fuck. However it truly turns you into the man you want to be. It’s worth the ride but holy fuck I had jump off before I intended to as it was affecting my mental health with other things I had going on in life. That’s my own responsibility though and there’s a warning for a reason.

Khan is just something else and it changed lives.

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Now that I’m focusing on EQ, I’m beginning to understand why I feel EQ is integral to my stack.

I’d like to think I’m a strong person, I’ve faced so many challenges in my past, abnormal things, cruel things, and yet with all those challenges, I have kept myself open. I have not developed a shell to protect myself.

This is not intentional.

I have always been too empathic, I always feel, even when I don’t want to. This is what I’m getting from EQ, and so far only from EQ. That emotional armor to protect myself. A plug to stop my inner essence from draining whenever I absorb negativity from an outside source, be it from people or from circumstances.

I have tried PS, AM, with Stark (not extensively) but so far I have not found it.

The question in my mind, would Khan do what EQ is doing for me, and more? So I have been preparing myself, I told myself come January I shall venture into Khan, however my focus is not entirely sexual, I’m already getting up there in age, what I want now is to feel balanced and complete.

And happy.

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You and me both. Still blows my mind that I am happily married and have been for over 15 years

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Congratulations my friend. Being successfully married is not an easy thing to do in this day and age.

I don’t even know how things would be like in the future. It seems more and more we’re becoming too individualistic, so sharing ourselves completely with someone is become less and less congruent with more modern sensibilities.

Anyway I’m blabbering again. My thoughts are like heiroglyphics that even I don’t understand most of the time.

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I think they phrase you’re looking for is " self absorbed "

Blabber away

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@Apollo I feel even calmer than I was becoming on stage one. I was thinking to myself earlier how much fun it’s going to be to finally let a lot of shit go

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I had to stop myself from trying ST2… that sounds wonderful

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The day was nice. I opted to use StarkU earlier today, right after my first batch of stack in the morning.

It made me feel good, calm, collected and positive. The effect was around two hours, and then maybe after that I got acclimated to the feeling. I’m still feeling alright right now, so I guess so far so good.

I’m done with SanguineQ for the day. Just another loop of PSQ and I’m done with my stack.

On RebirthU now, but thinking twice if I should revert back to RebirthQ instead. I guess I’ll test it on monday, start of the week.

Bye Felicia 2020 , Happy New Year 2021

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Switched to RebirthQ from Ultima. I’m now running more than 3 Q’s per day, and I’ll compare at the end of the week how it makes me feel.

Cheesy/corny movies: Check
Melancholic music that speaks to my soul: Check
Junkfoods (more chemicals the better): Check
Gaming console: Check
Dumbells: Check
Bags of sand to bury my head in: Check

Guess I’m good to go.

Now I have an hour to decide after my first loop of DR if I’m going to switch from EQ today or stick with it for another week.

Clock is ticking, now I feel the pressure. I don’t like pressure. Sands at the ready.

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