Reconciliation is INEVITABLE: Becoming A Khan

Trip Summary

This recent trip was good. With my own planning I got to do some cool stuff there. Visit an island nearby, go to an adventure park and more. This is all in a different country; I didn’t expect to do an international trip this year due to the pandemic. By the way, that country is handling it pretty well as they are fairly strict on masking.

Anyway, I was still listening to Khan via the new listening schedule. In addition, I threw in inner circle. I have results to report regarding these.

  • I was approached by two women in their early 20s at the beach. (That’s new.) Calling themselves the “prettiest girls” around, they asked me and my friend if we wanted to hang out later, get drinks and stuff. It also turned out their room was right next to ours. At first I was pretty interested in this. However in the next few days I got some kind of intuition telling me I shouldn’t do that. I’m not sure exactly why. Perhaps it’s the mannerisms and rowdy behavior that I observed from them at a distance later on which signaled to me that they had a character I wouldn’t want to get involved with. The interesting thing, I wasn’t really scared or nervous during the conversation.
  • Another time when I went to the beach to swim in the ocean, there was a woman who just happened to join me there. She got kinda close to me, looked at me a few times, and then walked a bit further way to sit right at the shore. Intuition told me I should approach and talk to her, so I did. Ended up being an interesting character who looks young but is much older than I expected (she admitted she was in her late 30s, close to 40). Not only that, she happens to live in the same region as I do, back home. We connected on social media. We left the country on the same day, at the same airport; she even asked if I want to get shots with her (too bad—we arrived at that airport at different times and I was already on my flight). But she’s down to meet up sometime.
  • The person above introduced me to two other individuals who were also swimming in the area. Girl in her 20s, and that girl’s brother. Talked with that girl on the beach for a bit, then connected on social media.
  • Had some random conversations with people during my return journey, including a couple who I sat next to on the plane and an elderly woman who I was in line with when getting food at the airport. I usually don’t do this kind of thing, ever. But both conversations went well.
  • One former pen pal (now a social media contact) is down to video chat with me sometime. I suggested this idea in the middle of the trip out of some spontaneous inspiration. Originally I had planned a trip to the part that she happens to live in but looks like it may not happen due to the pandemic, so that led me to suggest doing a video call. So that’s cool.

I feel both Khan and Inner Circle are making me and my life progress quickly and in ways I could not have anticipated, so I’m going to keep using both. Especially IC, since that title is light and integrates well into my manifestation abilities. I don’t feel it is a problem to stack with Khan.

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@Sage_Ninjistic @PurpleRT73 @Malkuth

Currently running IC.

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I’ve had this happen time and time again. I would encourage you to trust that intuition. It’s easy to think “oh, it’s just a vacation. No big deal.” But the thing is it might be a big deal. My experience is that rowdy girls can be trouble. It could be easy to discount it as “attention seeking because they might be ovulating” but it could also be other reasons. Anger. Socially miscalibrated. Also if they think they are the prettiest girls around, then I would wonder about other things about them such as their capacity for compassion and kindness.

These other women sound like better options for connecting.

As for the general tone of the message, how do you like being a sex symbol?

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Can you clarify? I’m not sure what this means, and also how I am “being a sex symbol.”

I just continue to find more evidence that the sub works quietly in the background, even during rest days.

I came back from an action movie and in the middle, there was a scene where one of the guys was talking a certain way with a woman and my mind picked up, “Oh, he’s escalating things.” Even in the beginning of their conversation I noticed how he was trying to get the ball rolling. I find it curious that my mind would pick this up and tell me this kind of information as it historically has not bothered for it.

I find listening to such feelings helps you avert so much heartache and problems. Good instincts.

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Current plan for today:

  • DR U
  • Khan ST2
  • IC
  • Pending booster

I’m calling on the dragon to help me out once again.

In the middle of Khan ST2.

This pandemic is starting to piss me off. Tickets for a food festival that usually never sells out sold out today in a matter of hours. Now I don’t have an event for this weekend, just movies.

People are desperate to attend any event right now because of the pandemic continuing to go on and more places locking down again. I myself am feeling impatient today. After all, I ran DR for 8 months and then started Khan ST2, hoping to move to ST4 by mid-September when the office was going to reopen. Now that reopening got canceled and there’s no known reopening date, so we’re left in the dark. My motivation to build the social custom with the working title Find People and Handle People has decreased, too. If I feel like this on Khan ST2 then imagine what Khan ST4 and PCC would make me feel, during a time when I cannot properly execute the programming of those two? I feel like I could just keep delaying the social custom until reopening, and I hope that Q+ with all those other features (name/voice embedding for one) are available by then.

What am I to do? Essentially, the main way I’m going to take things into my own hands is to do more domestic and local trips of my own. Explore some more scenic routes I haven’t done yet. Fly to different parts of my own country (I’ve got a friend willing to do this with me). Maybe even go to a different part of my own state, stay there for a weekend. Do something.

Seeking Feedback

@RVConsultant @PurpleRT73 @Malkuth @Yazooneh

I really can’t imagine running ST3 in this environment. SC, asking you to release Q+ and more :slight_smile:

Feeling awful man. This level of upset and anger and I don’t feel like there’s much that can be done with it.

And I know running Sanguine isn’t going to work so I’m not going to try that.

I know what you mean. I’m currently on a holding pattern with Khan TB. I’m worried with stage 2, I’m not going to be able to approach women and take action that is needed because of this pandemic thing… So I remain on stage 1…

This is more of what ST3 focuses on. But I still understand you.

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For some reason I was thinking that you have to take action on stage 2, otherwise you get some nasty recon… if I could get away with simply listening to it, I would. I’ve got at least one more month committed to doing stage 1… I just might jump into stage 2 then.

How long have you been on st1

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Well next month, it’s going to be about 4 months. But this month I added Regeneration to the mix… so I’m running both TB and Regen.

Look, I ran DR for EIGHT months before ST2 and I STILL got recon. It’s inevitable, even with the right healing. With three months of ST1 done I’d move to ST2 and let it do it’s work.

Also as much as I feel bad right now I know it does not compare to the nightmare that was in the middle of Dragon Blood. I can’t and won’t ever go back to that.

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I think I will do that, come Sept. 12th. I just want to complete 4 months, then yes, I’ll go for stage 2…

I just wish the other tech improvements would come sooner to make my listening even more time efficient and have less recon.

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Alright, so I met up with some friends and watched a great, funny movie. I also had some desserts (during and after the movie) which I liked. These things, along with some chats with them, helped me feel a lot better so I don’t feel like I did during my last entry.

Still, this episode tells me that I have still a ways to go before I fully get things together. Maybe I was upset at my current circumstances in life, be that things I can control or (as I’ve noted above) things which seem to be out of my control. But there are some things I can build for myself even during this time which would make me feel more satisfied. One of those things would be the NoFap habit. During my trip, I developed a new streak. I didn’t feel much of a desire to break that habit. But then in the last few days after coming back…it fell apart. What gives? I’d say this experience tells me that I don’t have a total addiction or behavior problem like those smokers or alcoholics might have, where even out in public they’d get that urge. It appears to be some combination of factors, like me being at home, being bored and stuff.

Oh, but who am I kidding? It’s been a long time since I first started analyzing that challenge. At this point I’ve already made all the intellectual realizations and notes that I could have made to help make NoFap easier. I don’t think any more discoveries are going to magically make it easier; after all, I ran the entirety of DR which probably removed blocks towards success in this habit. On the flip side, there’s Khan ST2 which is charging my sexuality. With that in mind, the only thing that’s left for me to do is take action. Make the proper commitment to myself to just DO IT. I have to simply accept and embrace that it’s going to be uncomfortable at times, just like how reconciliation is uncomfortable at times.

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It’s natural that what you need to become the man you wanna be happens when on subs, If the tickets sold out then you’re overdue for a growth in another aspect of your being

I thought as I was reading the message, that you are becoming a sex symbol. Women are finding you more attractive. Yes?

You could try. The other thing you could do is a washout.

I’m thinking wash out.

What do you think might be helpful?

What helped you through any dark nights of the soul you’ve had?

Everyone is magically out of my reach right now. That’s a sign that I should use this time to reflect and look towards what’s next for me.

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