Itās kind of funny, I ran AM last fall so itās a bit nostalgic. Iām sort of transitioning out of that whole party phase into a more serious work/ self development phase. I think Iāll still go out occasionally because socializing is important for me. But crazy partying, staying out late all the time, getting super drunk⦠that canāt happen if I want to make any serious progress
Al
Actually, I think Iāll go down the QL path. Learning, studying and all that it entails has been a difficult path for me. I have a lot of negative beliefs and habits surrounding these topics. Mostly from school. So, I think QL might be better.
It may be a little slower, but I think itāll be well worth it.
@GoldenTiger also sent me a voice note about how khan has changed his life and how it could really help me discover what I want out of life, help my confidence, social skills, etc. And it really made a lot of sense and I think I might do that too.
But would that be too much? Am and khan are similar is goals and is Khan is certainly a bit life more advanced. But I feel the effect of khan would be more transformation overall.
Maybe I could run:
khan st1
Limitless
Mogul?
Idk if running QL and khan together would work. Might be a little much. Especially since Iād be doing both st1ās at the same time.
Or maybe I can hold off on Khan and just do AM for now. Not sure. Iāve had over a yearās experience with these subs so, I know I could handle khan.
oh
I said what I said
Remember what we talked about thatās all Iām going to say. Ultimately it goes that to what you want to do and what you initial goals are.
I think Iām going to keep it simple for now
AM & QL (Each stage for 1 month )
This yearning that keeps happening, itās driving me insane. I donāt know whatās going on, but itās really messing with my head. It feels like Iām constantly being pulled in a direction⦠but I donāt know where that direction isā¦
Does that even make sense?
I donāt even want to think about this girl, but she keeps popping up in my thoughts. And itās always followed by really intense emotions.
Like Iām just sitting here with my hands against my head thinking āWtf is happening right now, am I insane?ā
So tonight Iām starting my new stack:
Ascended Mogul
Quantum Limitless ST1
And while Iām excited to take on new challenges and reach new heights, iām a little torn. Because Iām being pulled in the other direction. This summer I made significant progress in my social life, Iām actually really proud of myself. If you knew me 3-4 years ago and see me now⦠youād see a completely different person.
My confidence, charisma, sociability extroversion have all greatly improved. And these were my weak points for a long time. I had lots of traumas and bad experiences that lead me to shy away from socializing. And now itās like Iāve āReclaimed my powerā go figure
But now, I feel like I need to take it further. Iāve reclaimed my power, great. But itās like Iāve broke even. If my life was a trading account, I was in the red for 3-4 years and now Iāve finally broke even. So now, with all this momentum⦠it doesnāt feel right to go all introverted again.
While itās important that I focus and work on my career and finances, thereās no way I can go full monk mode/ workaholic mode. I need to keep socializing and working on that aspect of my life. And on top of that Iāve been experiencing some strange romantic and sexual urges. Like some sort of longing that canāt be rationalized. I never felt like I needed girls before but thatās changingā¦
Now I feel like I missing out on one of the most beautiful aspects of life, and the more I put it off and try to ignore these feelings, the more that longing comes back (and with ferocity).
So AM is a great choice since itās covers all these aspects of my life. Itās going to help me build that solid foundation and Iām really excited for that. QL is going to help me GET SH!T DONE. Finally all these courses, books, etc, Iām going to put it to work and integrate all of it into my core. Butā¦
As for the third sub? I may continue with my custom. Perhaps Iāll only run it once a week, but the thought of dropping it so suddenly feels wrong. Itās like an angel slaps me across the face when ever I think about dropping it. Itās helped me so much, it helped me achieve things Iāve been desperately trying to fix for the last 3-4 years and now Iām going to stop? Iām just getting startedā¦
And let me talk about Wanted for a second. Wanted goes hand and hand with my custom. Being an attractive man is who I am, itās who Iāve always been. I may have forgotten about it for a long time, but now Iāve reclaimed my power, I just own that shit. Itās completely changed my behaviour, mentality, body. Every time I look in the mirror I just smile and admire the beauty looking back at me. The thing I once hated, I now love. Me
So dropping Wanted also feels criminal. The way it makes me feel is so beautiful, Iād run it for that alone. So what I might do is alternate my custom and Wanted each cycle. So cycle one would be AM, QL, Custom. Then cycle 2 would be AM, QL, Wanted.
Again, when I run Wanted or my custom; it would only be once a week (maybe once every 2 weeks). Just as a background kind of sub. AM and QL are the stars of the show for the next little while, but Iāll have my custom and Wanted doing a bit of passive work.
Does that make sense?
Iām really excited to run AM. Those objectives are
Didnāt expect QL ST1 to have such a strong healing component⦠emotional healing.
Iāve been getting so many flashbacks to high school, romantic encounters etc. Things that were said to me, positive and negative, things I did and said to others (again positive and negative).
Itās a mix of sadness and empowerment, very weird
Iāve also been browsing autotrader for cars. Not that I can afford another one, but I keep looking at the Mustangs, Camaros and Challengers. I want one so bad itās annoying.
That brings me to QL and AM. What am I going to study? What will my goal be? How am I going to get one of these beasts?
I think I will go down the copywriting path. Get really good at it, then do freelancing. I love sales, psychology, persuasion and I also love to write and be creative. So I think itāll be perfect for me.
I started studying it a bit last year but stopped because⦠well, subs just guided me in a different direction. But now is the time to work. Time to take it to the next level.
Iām giving myself one year:
Donāt care how realistic or unrealistic it sounds. Thatās my goal. If I donāt wave a carrot in front of myself, Iāll never get anything done.
āShoot for the moon. Even if you miss, youāll land among the starsā While being amongst the stars is cool, I want my feet planted on that moon in a years time.
LFG
And another thing⦠I want to move out. I want to become my own man. I think that will be top of the priority list. So adding that to this one year goal
Now I need a detailed plan
Most people are so broken, itās sad. Lately everywhere I look, all I see is that. Traumatized people, whether from parents, society, friends, experiences.
People pretending to love their life when theyāre secretly miserable, people overcompensating for insecurities, seeking validation, power tripping etc. I see all of it. And Iām no saint myself, but Iām hyperconscious of my weaknesses, most others have no idea why they do the things they do and lately Iāve been sitting back and reading everyone like a book just in awe of the lack of self awareness.
Strangely enough, Iām not doing this consciously. It just started happening out of the blue. People need help, I wish more would seek it out. If everyone collectively took a more active approach, identified their weaknesses and worked though them; the world would be a much better place.
Unfortunately, thatās never going to happen. Sad
Is it normal to resent your subordinates? Iām in a leadership position at work and suddenly Iām growing angry and impatient with them.
Itās like every little thing they do wrong annoys me, and I just think āhow do you not understand?ā
On the other hand, I remember when I was being taught, and my superiors had the same reaction to me. Back then, I though āIām still learning, cut me some slackā.
But now itās hard, Iām trying to be understanding and patient but I think QL is already working really fast. Like my mind is firing on all cylinders and I just look around at everyone and think āWhy are you so sloppy, how are you so dumb, how could you make such a stupid mistake?ā. Because to me I never made these kinds of mistakes, so I almost feel like a kindergarten teacher having to tell my subordinates to stop picking their nose and sucking on crayons.
Maybe Iām being too harsh, idk