Primal time baby
CWON is fun. Iāve just been loving life since I began running it. I look around at all the life around me in complete awe of its beauty (even the ugly parts)
I used to go into nature a lot when I was younger, and while Iāve always done it, I used to enjoy it a lot more back then. Well, now, Iām starting to feel that same way I used to feel; that natural high, that stress-free feeling, itās all returning.
Yesterday I was in a great mood, despite being dark and rainy. I was singing and dancing in my car, having the time of my life
Car is made of natureās materials so it is basically a nature
Iām starting to get upset with my surroundings. Everyone and everything around me is average and fucking hate it. Average is the last thing I want to be in life.
I canāt help but think that in the near future theirs going to be a lot of conflict between my wants and needs, and the wants and needs of others. If I pursue my desires itās gonna piss a lot of people off and Iām really afraid of how that will all go down. I think thatās why I keep procrastinating on my goals, itās like Iām afraid of success. But why? Because I know my future success will make others jealous/ envious of me? Why? I donāt get it
This has kept me stuck, what it really is, is a balancing between your masculinity and femininity.
If you are balanced their is a harmonious denominator between caring for yourself, and putting yourself first while also keeping into account and being empathic / compassionate for other peoples feelings.
Extreme masculine man are self absorbed, have often lost connection with life and nature, others. The feminine aspect is for connection, to feel others, for our creativity, to feel life, while the masculine one is intellectual and rational one.
Balancing both in a healthy way allows us to rise above all occasions.
When you feel extremely powerful it can make you stop caring but then when you put the āswitchā back on and open your heart you will have to feel and go through the karma of whatever pain is present their from now having to feel the potential harm you have done to others.
Have you ever noticed how anger desensitised you?
But then when that destructive force lifts you feel that you have done wrong, because you are now reconnected to that other person?
In the same way, does extreme feminism cause us to fail at life. Most likely you will have lots of love, forgiveness, feeling but instead of anger you will feel sadness and experience tears for being disempowered and not being able to act on your goals and dreams, and to set boundaries when others make use of this kindness.
The key is to strike a perfect balance between these two polarities while using Alchemy to bring harmony between the forces within ourselves.
I go to an expensive gym, and theirs always super nice cars parked outside. Every day, after my workouts, I relax in the hot tub and outside the pool, theirs this blacked-out Mustang GT parked and every time I see it, I get angryā¦
Why the fuck donāt I have that car? I should be driving that car. Whatās he got that I donāt? Stuff like this goes through my head and I just sit there with my hands pressed against my head, pissed off to death. Even as I was leaving, a guy pulled out of his spot in a Merc AMG, again⦠blacked out, roaring v8 engine. And then⦠as I was pulling out, a dude in a black Camaro roars by me with the music blasting
Itās like the universe is teasing me, showing me the life I could have if I only put in the effortā¦
Wow⦠this is so true
Yes! Omg so many times, I used to think I was bi polar because if this
Man you hit the nail on the head with this post. Iāve experienced both sides and very strongly. The more I think about this, the more Iām starting to think that I need to learn how balance these two. Because itās very easy for me to go from one extreme to the next but all it does is create more problems for me.
What do you plan for your listening schedule for the next 9 days?
Stark
Primal
CWON
Thatās been my stack for this cycle:
Day 1: Stark (15 mins)
Day 2: Rest
Day 3: Primal &CWON (Full 15 mins)
Day 4 ASC (Full 7 mins)
Day 5 Rest
Day 6 Primal or CWON (Alternate between the two)
(Full 15 mins)
Day 7 Rest
Iāve begun to take a more intuitive approach to my sub schedule, sometimes Iāll take an extra rest day if I feel itās needed, sometimes I will run 3 mins instead of 15 mins.
How about more rest?
Day 1: Stark (15 mins)
Day 2 and 3: Rest
Day 4: Primal &CWON (Full 15 mins)
Day 5: Rest
Day 6: ASC (Full 7 mins)
Day 7 and 8: Rest
Good idea, Iāll give this a go!
This schedule works well, but during the last week of this cycle, I encountered some of the harshest reconciliation Iāve ever experienced.
Every single issue that plagues me came to the fore front of my mind, one after another. It felt like mental torture, it finally subsided after 3 days but my god, not only was I ready to quit subs; but I just felt like quitting everything. Theirs just so many obstacles I need to overcome. I started thinking, that itās impossible. That Iām just destined to be a failure.
Now I feel much better, Iām on day 3 of my washout and on going camping for the next week. So I may just extend this washout for the entirety of this trip.
My sister graduated High school this year, and itās made me reflect a lot. I cannot believe itās been 4 years since I graduated, it went by so fast. I started thinking about what Iāve accomplished in the last 4 years⦠and while Iām proud of many of the things Iāve done; I still feel like Iām moving too slow.
Iāve realized that itās mostly because Iām unorganized, I start one thing, then move onto another l, then another etc. And then I look back and think āif only I had stuck to this one thing, Iād be much better offā.
Now Stark has really been helping me in this regard. Iām becoming more organized, more disciplined and Iām starting to do things more consciously rather than just operate on auto pilot. Overall, I think Iām headed in the right direction
Iām on a camping trip for the next week. This should give CWON some time to really shine.
Yesterday I decided to take the kayak out, I went to an island about 10 minutes off the shore. I had the music blasting, a little Rumpari in my cup; it was nice. I got to the island, pulled my boat up and just took it all in. The view was gorgeous. To my left their were a bunch of nice boats anchored in the Bay. To my right you had people wakeboarding, tubing, para sailing, jet skiing.
I found a smooth and flat area and sat down, and for the first time in a long time; I felt relaxed and completely at peace. I put a few songs on queue, lit a small Cuban cigar and enjoyed the view.
Iām reviving my custom, with discounted zp rebuilds⦠why tf not? I only stopped using it because it was built in QV2ā¦
Some of the modules arenāt as ideal as they once were but nevertheless, this custom will do me good
I like the dominion Lion combo
Me too
Ran the custom and so far itās making me feel:
- Very masculine
- Strong (Internally and externally)
- Like a total smart ass.
Submodel alpha, Dragons tongue, and Manipulus have really been noticeable. I played it right before bed and I had so many different dreams about people from my past. I canāt recall much but I just remember verbally destroying everyone, like on some next level Ben Shapiro/ Andrew Tate type shit
The recon felt weird, I donāt know how to really describe it. It felt intense, but also very personal if that makes sense? Like the dreams and emotions that they provoked felt very unique compared to previous titles. I guess thatās largely to do with the fact that this is a name embedded custom. (Duh lol)
Whatās making you feel so strong, do you think it is from Dominion, Lion IV?
Oh and you also have 3 Cores which is (apparently) not advised. But I want my own 3 Core Custom :s
Letās see if it works out for you
Oh and probably Invincible Presenceā¦
Definitely these three. They give stark more of a dominant and masculine edge for sure.
I donāt think so, my Qv2 custom had the stacking module, not the sanguine core. Iām assuming they just left it out