Reclaiming my power - A Journal by MatAlexander305

[Matalexander305]

@Geoff

Looks like you’re being pushed towards some action you don’t want to take for a variety reasons. So what do you do to redirect yourself if you won’t pursue what you’re desiring?

Hmm… good question🤔

@Geoff

Just my take on it, I enjoy following your journal man. Uplifting and inspiring.

Thanks

[Martin]

You are running Stark+Wanted right? From your journal you seem to express theVIP/celebrity/handsomeness script, do you also become more extroverted? What about job/money/luck?

[Matalexander305]

@Martin

You are running Stark+Wanted right? From your journal you seem to express theVIP/celebrity/handsomeness script, do you also become more extroverted? What about job/money/luck?

Extroverted yes, when I’m not in recon. If I’m in recon I become introverted.

I got a 4$ raise 2 weeks ago but I think that was because I ran a loop of rich last cycle. I’m sure Stark has helped in other ways, like becoming more social, confident, influencing others to follow my lead etc.

[Matalexander305]

PT 1

Ok so here we go… The weekend of the Festival.
I think I’ll do this in long form. A lot happened both internally and externally.

So on my drive up I stopped to use the washroom, (nature’s washroom, that just so happened to be beside the highway)

Anyways I do my business and then notice I was touching what looked like wild parsnip… ( don’t look up the images, the burns are nasty). So I immediately started freaking out, I had no soap, hand sanitizer… nothing. So as I kept driving, I kept looking down at my hand and noticed 2 small red spots. I thought, well that’s just great, now my skins going to start burning and swelling right before the festival.

Luckily, nothing ever happened. The two spots on my hand disappeared later that day. So idk what happened but I’m just glad I got away clean.

[Vesper]

@Matalexander305

Extroverted yes, when I’m not in recon. If I’m in recon I become introverted.

I can confirm this is in fact true

[Matalexander305]

Pt 2

I get to @GoldenTiger ’s place and he’s there with @Vesper

First impression is “shit Golden tigers hair is nicer than mine “ I’m kind of jealous actually.

And cybertate is freaking jacked, and like I said before the man has amazing skin.

@Matalexander305

I was actually gonna say, your complexion is really nice. What do you use on your face??

Earlier that day, he asked if I’d like a small red bull; which I foolishly said yes to

After two coffee and a red bull, we got to the festival and i was wired. Like seriously, no more red bull for me

[Vesper]

@Matalexander305

And cybertate is freaking jacked, and like I said before the man has amazing skin.

Your more jacked then me😂

@Matalexander305

Earlier that day, he asked if I’d like a small red bull; which I foolishly said yes to

Becomes way too wired

[GoldenTiger]

Bro u fucking shredded asf wtf

[Matalexander305]

Pt 3

Festival was good. For the last 3-4 months, I’ve been listening to a lot of Latin music. So I was familiar with most songs and the artists there. I can’t say I knew what they were saying half of the time but I enjoyed all the shows.

The day went well but, there was a sense of underlying stress… usually festivals are very laid back, fun, zero cares in the world. But this time was different.

We had a good spot up close to the stage and we didn’t want to lose it. But as the day went on, the crowd got bigger and we lost our friends. That annoyed me. Then we wanted more drinks, had to use the washroom, Wanted to sit down and rest our legs etc. So we left to do that, and when we came back to the stage area the crowd had gotten very dense so @Vesper respectfully bulldozed his way through the crowd back (edit: Close) to our spot.

Then we tried to move forward again but we’re stopped by these 3 girls that got super mad at us
I guess we should’ve been happy with our spots, but we wanted to find our other friends.

[Matalexander305]

@Vesper

Your more jacked then me😂

Lol maybe, but you’re bigger than me, and stronger too

@GoldenTiger

Bro u fucking shredded asf wtf

Thanks haha

[Matalexander305]

Pt 4

We had made plans to meet GT’s brother back at his place around 10:30. Problem was, the main act; the most popular artist Nicky Jam (Not Daddy Yankee @GoldenTiger , hehe) was originally supposed to start at 9:30. But he was delayed until 10:30 now…

So I had to try and figure out how I was going to see him and still meet GT’s brother in time to go to the club for 11. Obviously this was impossible, so I had to come to a compromise (Which I hate doing but is sometimes necessary in life )

I agreed to leave early, I thought maybe I’d still catch 1 or 2 songs of his. Then @Vesper says him and @GoldenTiger are going to leave at 10:00 now and I got a bit angry. Here I am thinking “I’ve already compromised seeing my favourite artist, that’s a big enough deal, but now I won’t see him at all???

I just though “wtf did I even come here for then”. He’s the main act, I’ve been looking forward to this for months. I didn’t understand why they were so fixed on being back at 10:30?? His brother must live close, you can go to the club any weekend… no? Why not just ask him to meet us there? We’re at a concert, so we’ll be there 30 - 45 minutes later. What’s wrong with that?

But what I didn’t know, was that he wasn’t from around the area. He had to drive 2 hours to get here (like me). So they wanted to have a good time, and clubbing for only 2 hours is kind of pointless… so knowing that; now I understand where they came from.

So in hindsight, I shouldn’t have gotten mad so once again, my apologies @Vesper I know you were just trying to stick to your word and that’s very honourable.

[Matalexander305]

Pt 5

Anyways, we’re in the crowd, and @Vesper seemed a bit quiet. Then he said he was going to go sit down. (Standing/dancing for 6-8 hours is surprisingly painful lol). Then he texts GT that he left, cause he wasn’t feeling good. Which upset me a bit, cause now the best artists (last 3) were up next. So that’s when it started getting fun. Also I was worried he was sick and that he wouldn’t come out later on.

Anyways, me and GT chilled in the crowd. OHH BTWWW, I forgot to mention. GT had at least 3-4 girls approach him/ make moves on him

One chick straight up said “You stole my glasses? Those are mine!” We were both a bit shocked because her tone of voice was so serious. Then ofc she said kidding lol. That was something else hahaha.

We eventually find my other friends, and thank god we did. Cause it had been 2-3 hours that we’d been spilt apart. We chilled, saw the second last artist. Then me and GT left… after Farruko performed:

Farruko - Pepas (Official Video)

[Matalexander305]

Pt 6

After we left, and got to GT’s place and remember getting changed and just feeling “Off”. Like something wasn’t right.

Throughout the day, I felt like I was in a bit of recon which was annoying (definitely doing a washout next time). Combined with the fact that now; it had been 12+ hours since I’ve eaten, I’ve had hardly any water to drink, I’ve had 4-5 drinks throughout the day…

So yeah sounds about right

OHH BTW @Vesper

I was planning to wear the exact same black Henley as you. But by the grace of god, it came out of the wash still stained from last time I wore it (s/o to train girl for spilling that rum and Coke on me)

Anyways, if it weren’t for that, we would’ve been twinning. Except you had better pants and nicer shoes so you win

[Matalexander305]

Back to the story, I have a few swigs of rum, and I started getting a small headache right before the club. I thought “F me, can this get any worse lol)

Like CT mentioned in his journal:

@Vesper

The highlight of the night was that towards the night we went out clubbing but while me and @GoldenTiger we’re walking to it, @Matalexander305 and our other group of friends we’re waiting in line. Basically the bouncers and the other staff told them that since the club is full unless we’re buying 3 bottles they won’t let us in. My friend calls me and I tell him I will take care of it so I get to the club I see my friend who’s a promoter there to let us in and if needed we can buy one bottle no problem (Keep in mind this club line is packed like over 100 people are waiting in line to get in)

@Vesper

not only did he let us skip the long line where we wouldn’t even be able to get in if we even tried but he also did something extra in that he added us in the vip room free of charge (Usually this cost extra even if your buying a bottle) so they bring us to the club and there’s two lines (One outside which we skipped and one inside which we also skipped).

@Vesper

@Matalexander305 got to be friends with the owner of the club who kept giving us free shots (I guess that’s what happens when @Matalexander305 runs his custom he gets free shots).

Yeah free shots, cause that’s what’s important here haha

[Matalexander305]

Pt 8

But yeah the club was awesome! Beautiful place, way better than any clubs in Ottawa.

We go up to the terrace, and start arm wrestling with random people. It was fun. Then one guy comes and arm wrestles our semi natty friend, and he wins. This guys wasn’t a bodybuilder, he was actually a bit overweight, but man he was strong. You gotta respect it.

So, I see him by the bar. He looks at me and signals me to come talk to him. He offers to buy me a drink, I thought that was nice of him. He starts talking to me about arm wrestling, and techniques and blah blah blah. He was a cool guy. Then he starts talking to me about… well I’ll keep that to myself but let’s just say he’s a very perspicacious and intelligent man.

That really caught my attention, I started thinking “who tf am I talking to right now?” I ask what he does for work and he says he owns the club and that he had owned it for 15 years now. I almost didn’t believe him at first. Then he orders 8 shots of Jameson and a double vodka soda. I jokingly said “and a rum and coke” and he says “and a rum and Coke”. Lol.

So now I’m thinking… okay this dude must be balling. Maybe he does own the place. But after observing how the bartender served him so fast and how he didn’t even pay for it… I knew he was serious. So then some of our other friends come over and start talking to him. He orders another 8 shots of Jameson and a double vodka soda

[Vesper]

[Matalexander305]

Pt 9

Eventually it’s just me and him again, and he says “You’re different.” And I’m just like… what?

He says, theirs something unique about you. Then he started asking me about my job. My aspirations, my goals in life etc. I didn’t say a whole lot besides the basics like I want to be successful, connected, rich, content, and to most importantly raise a beautiful successful family.

Then we started taking about fitness, and he made a self deprecating joke about being a fat slob. I had noticed he said similar things about himself throughout the night, so I pulled him aside and said “Hey, watch how you talk to yourself. Don’t call yourself by those names. Your smart, successful, your well off, you have lots of friends. You have basically everything I aspire to have. You should be proud of yourself.”

Then he goes on to tell me he used to be even bigger and that he’s now lost 70lbs. And I said “see, that’s a great accomplishment. You need to be your own biggest fan, you can’t be talking down on yourself. That’s no way to live life. Be proud of your achievements.

And he just smiled at me and gave me a hug. He added me on IG and said we’ll talk more in the future. Next time you’re in town, let me know I’ll hook your boys up with a bottle of champagne

[Matalexander305]

Pt 10

By this point I was feeling nice. What’s funny is one of our friends asked me if I was even drunk cause supposedly I wasn’t acting like it. But that changed later haha. CT and GT left around 2 and I decided to stay with the other two.

We kept drinking, went down to the dance floor. Had a great time. I got to bed around 4:30 am and when I woke up… boyyyyyyy did I feel like garbage.

What’s strange is I didn’t feel hungover necessarily. But more so “drained”. I basically fasted all day and consumed nothing but booze and more booze. So after I left, I got MC D’s to replenish all the calories I missed out on. Had a coffee, chilled at MC’D s for a while.

Then bought another coffee for the ride home. Whole way home I just blasted Latin music and enjoyed the ride.

Overall, it was a good weekend! Wasn’t perfect, their were twists and turns but nevertheless I had a blast

[Vesper]

Next week will be a even bigger twist a good one of course

[Matalexander305]

@Vesper

Next week will be a even bigger twist a good one of course

Hope so, cause for me…life just took another one as you know