After 2 months using my customs Ive reach enough maturity to make a decision. Ive decided to heal the pain and anger that Ive feed for so many years, the pain and anger that led me to live a life of excess and sickness.
This is going to be a brutally honest journey within.
This is what Im gonna be using from now on:
Stack:
DR St4
Sage Immortal
Paragon
Rebirth
Im listening to my stack everyother day, in my rest days I do Rebirth.
Its funny that I had to go through all kind of loops to finally come back to the most fundamental principle. Be healthy, be clean, be pure.
I feel a lot of Sage Immortal here, so thats why Im gonna keep using it.
Theres gonna be a lot of rambling, ranting, self exploration in this journal. My plan is to be as honest as I can with whatever comes out.
Currently listening to Paragon Ultima… right before I fall asleep. Im already feeling its sedative effect.
Well I was supposed to start my new stack tomorrow, but Ive been experiencing recon today on my rest day too… So I decided to take a 1 week washout and start fresh next friday.
Recon is almost over and Ive just realized that today for the last 6 or 7 hours Ive been experiencing a profound spiritual crisis.
Im questioning in a very calmed and curious way all my beliefs about spirituality… the ones that Ive adopted consciously during my life and the ones that were implanted when I was a kid by my family, school, religion and society.
Its not the first time something like this happens, but this time is different in that is a deeper and wider process, totally fluid and organic and at the same time it feels inevitable, unstoppable.
I’m liking this a lot.
Dragon and the Sage!
I been thinking for a while if I should start with such a foundation first instead of adding onto the pain…
Very wise decision you made!
Well Im very enthusiastic about starting with Sage and Dragon.
Sage is revealing itself to be very profound and powerful and Dragon took me for one deep ride the first time.
Sounds like a wise decision…
You see for me this time whats fundamentally different is my attitude towards healing. Now Im open to deal with things that before I was denying myself they were really a problem for me.
Im ready to go deeper than I ever went before.
Day 4 of washout before starting with this new journey. I still feel a little overloaded after the 2 day recon I had last week, felt overloaded the whole weekend.
Im gonna start this journey with DR st4 and Sage Immortal on the third day of being free of overload.
Im having what it feels like non stop dreaming activity.
I know that feeling, having the same right now. Last night I was even being chased by a dinosaur haha, can’t remember having that since I was a kid 
Lol that sounds funny!! I remember last night dreaming about flying in the wing of a hang glider… riding over the clouds.
Trust me it was 
Let’s do meetup tonight next to a cloud in our dreams, just got to find my damn glider 
I bet you can ride in a pterodactyl… since you like dinosaurs.
Since I had my gastritis crisis 3 week ago, my energy levels have been very low, Im always tired and mi libido is non existant most of the time. When Im aroused and have sex, which by the way has been a lot less, I feel like Im at half or less than a half of my powers.
I assume my body is using a lot of energy to heal itself.
Finally decided to start today…
1x Dragon Reborn St4
1x Sage Immortal
I did 1x Paragon Ultima after lunch
1x Elixir Ultima right now as Im getting ready to sleep.
I had a realization today about the effects of not feeling loved and lacking a sense of belonging. What it can do to break someones identity.
Also Ive realized that Ive become more romantic since I started my Heartsong custom… I dont seek to be a perfect lover anymore, but to deeply connect and make love with my girlfriend.
It seems that having achieved my goal to rock her world sexually, a deeper level of experiencing sexuality was revealed to me.
Im using my current stack (DR, Sage, Paragon and Elixir) to heal my heart, to heal from any and all feelings of abandonment, lack of love and not feeling like I was part of a family.
I ended up buying Rebirth Ultima to use as a booster.
So I´ll be doing:
Day 1:
Sage Immortal 1x
Dragon Reborn St4 1x
Paragon Ultima 1x
Rebirth Ultima x1
Day 2:
Rebirth Ultima x1
Repeat…
Im doing my first loop of Rebirth Ultima v2… Im gonna close my eyes and go for the ride.
Ive only started my healing stack yesterday, added Rebirth today and its already paying off.
Today Ive been shedding my skin a lot… many things have surfaced that had a negative impact in my self concept, memories attached to anger, sadness, fear and abandonment.
At the moment I feel very light and peaceful.
Ok. Today Ive listened to…
DR St4
Sage Immortal
Rebirth Ultima
Im already feeling my life force getting stronger and Im more motivated. Its been a rough month since I got gastritis, because it makes the stomach hurts and that lowered my energy levels by a lot… I was very unenthusiastic about everything.
Im also slowly but steady recovering my libido.