He has one foot on the break and one foot on the gas. It’s indecisiveness and he hopes we can make the decision for him.
Listen dude, it’s your life. Go for it. If it’s a mistake it will be a good lesson. Lol
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Fuck her and then quit your job, move to another country.
10/10 best option
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I understand that to someone on the outside, this might look like harmless flirting or mutual interest – especially if the person experiencing it doesn’t immediately label it as inappropriate. But that’s exactly why it’s important to take a closer, more nuanced look at what’s actually happening.
Touching someone on the back of the neck isn’t just casual contact – it’s a very intimate gesture. A lot of people find being touched there extremely uncomfortable, especially when it comes from someone in a position of power. If that kind of physical contact happens without consent, it’s already crossing a personal boundary.
On top of that, bringing up sexual topics out of the blue during a normal conversation – especially when it has nothing to do with the context – isn’t just ‘open-minded’ or playful. When there’s no mutual understanding or agreement, and especially when it happens in a professional setting between a boss and an employee, it creates an unsafe and confusing environment.
The fact that she turns cold or distant when he doesn’t respond to her advances adds another layer of pressure. That’s not harmless. It’s a subtle form of manipulation – creating emotional tension and potential fear of consequences.
And this is exactly where sexual harassment begins: not only with physical assault or explicit acts, but also in those moments where power, intimacy, and sexuality become blurred – and where the person on the receiving end may not feel free to say no without risking something.
We don’t need to assume malicious intent, but we also shouldn’t ignore situations where personal and professional boundaries are quietly crossed. Just because something isn’t ‘that bad’ at first glance doesn’t mean it’s not serious – or that it can’t have a deep impact on the person involved.
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I think the difference between two people at work being sexual together and sexual harassment is the lack of consent. Doesn’t matter that he liked it half the time. If there is any moment where he doesn’t consent and actually would prefer to be left alone, and he is getting this treatment from anyone and that anyone is aware of this and they ignore it, it is sexual harassment. Because consent is ignored. This counts for any environment and any duo of people no matter the gender or power position.
This is obviously going off of preassumption that he had shown her that he is not consenting at times and her either pushing through or punishing him for it.
actually, now that I re-read it, he might be also at fault of this situation here. If he is “ignoring” it only, he might not be direct and clear enough… because absence of answer is not disagreement. Assuming he did not make it clear to her.
Sexual harassment or not, they both are doing things that are clearly feeding into this - not very ideal - situation.
@themadsexyscientist why not just come to her and be clear? Tell her that you don’t want this to continue and stop any non-work related contact with her? If you have not done so yet, this might be all that you need to do to solve this issue.
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This is the key. Also:
What has happened in modern society is this: through constant reinforcement and reward of bad behaviors, weak men are created. This is by design, not by accident, because weak men (and weak women) are easy to control in their thought and action. They are predictable.
Weak behaviors include not being able to control your own sexual impulses or emotions, having poor self esteem or a lack of boundaries, or not being able to be assertive about your own needs and boundaries.
If you take a look at some of the historical records of courtships, especially amongst royalty, such as the letters of Elizabeth I, you’ll see these courtships could go on for months, even years, and both parties needed to be satisfied before a marriage would occur. In Elizabeth’s case, she rejected several suitors because their religion or their politics could potentially cause problems for the kingdom. The amount of discipline and self control it takes to do this is in itself its own form of status.
By creating a system where hitting on someone boldly is not condemned but celebrated, by creating a dating scene where the goal is to get as much experience as possible, and where the idea that “men want sex” and “women want [insert status symbol here]”, and all sorts of expectations, the likelihood of a successful outcome is reduced because most people are not being selective enough with their choices of who they allow into their space, because of the illusion of scarcity, or because “this is the way the game works”.
When I ran Emperor, the reason the short term relationship I was in then ended was it helped me in solidifying an appropriate frame, and even a month or more before it ended the lady in question commented to me they didn’t think I would want to be with them if I kept running these subliminals (because they could sense that frame).
With Emperor, or any other alpha sub, to get a feeling for what it is teaching you, imagine what would happen if your boss tried to do this to a member of the royal family, or some dignitary or rock star. How fast would they be shut down?
People of high status are very careful with who they allow into their inner circle like that, often because it is acknowledged that many ordinary folk do not have the self control or discipline required to be truly legendary. If you want to lead a legendary life, you don’t want to be getting into someone’s pants just because they have a nice butt. Psychopaths and axe murderers can have a cute butt too 
Being assertive doesn’t need to mean being forceful, but when you put something out there it needs to be congruent, which means you need to be sure within yourself of what you want, and then make it clear without drama.
If you adopt this attitude that you are the prize and they need to demonstrate with their behavior that they are the right person to give that prize to, this will weed out all of these people who consciously or unconsciously attempt to manipulate. It may create some uncomfortable situations, but it’s better than the alternative. Strong men are selective and realize what their own value proposition is.
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Not necessarily, but I do like the attention she gives and how the other women respond
You hit the nail on the head and you are right about the trauma part. My stepmom(never knew my biological mom) was always emotionally unavailable and seems like I was always chasing her approval when I couldn’t get it, I would look elsewhere, women who were emotionally unavailable and toxic.
I’m working on healing my inner child, thats why I’ve ran LD and LBFH. I still got long ways to go.
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It’s a lot more complicated than that. For one, I don’t see her a lot during the week and are reduced to just texting. We don’t work in the same department and she’s usually very busy. She does sometimes call and what not, and text too. She might pop her head here and there just to say hi and all. She’s a horrible texter though, when I text her about work stuff. She reads quick but doesn’t respond if it’s something boring or not of interesting.
you’re 100 percent right, I guess I didn’t look at it from that perspective.
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it was a playful light slap, more or less on the neck but you are right. Now that you mention it, she has tried to use her position as a form of control.
I shouldn’t have let it go as far as it did without saying anything especially at work. I’m glad I never engaged with it in anyway and I’m usually careful with these things. I don’t want any problems.
Honestly I need therapy to address my trauma and the toxicity I grew up with in my family even now, that is affecting my relationships with women and people in general.
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good point
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you are all right, not worth it, but I’ll turn the tables on her and make her hook me up with gorgeous women. She did say once that she would hook me up with someone she knew but when I followed up with her on that, she never responded.
Thank you for the advice everyone, I will take all of your words to heart and not act on any sexual advances or impulses towards my boss.
Already been on dating apps and planning to go out religiously to meet women because deep down I know I’m settling and my self esteem is within the dumps for going for such a woman. I will let her know this week that we have to keep it professional even when not at work.
hopefully that doesn’t make her want me more cause I would have to quit my job at that point and find another.
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Thank you everyone for all the advice. I will hold myself accountable and let her know that we have to keep it professional from now on. I’ll draw some clear boundaries till I can find a better job. Dating her or pursuing anything sexual with her would be too much of a headache to deal with, which is something I don’t need right now. I’ll be friendly as friends go for office social dynamics sake but thats about it.
It’s time to stop accepting less than, I guess I didn’t have any options at the time and the first opportunity that popped to my face, I latched on to it but now I know that I need to put myself more out there and seek women that are right for me.
Goal for this month is go on 20 dates at least with 20 women who actually respect me
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Wish you good luck man
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thanks spartan.
I had to rewrite a post I had sent because I found myself thinking about my boss and what would happen if I left the Job, and how she would react, and I said she would throw everything out the window and pursue me aggressively…ugh…this is going to be difficult… its going to take a lot of conscious effort to overcome this toxic subconscious pattern I have of pursuing women who have nothing to add to my life besides the physical… guess its back to journaling till I break down my subconscious patterns…
I feel like an alcoholic who just went through a 3 month course on why drinking is bad and still grabs a bottle of vodka as a reflex lol
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Recognizing that you carry old patterns and programs within you takes courage. Wanting to heal them does, too. I’m incredibly proud of you for choosing to let go of all the outdated, unhelpful baggage.
There may be days when you curse everything and everyone – including yourself. And there may be moments when you feel like giving up because the pain becomes too much.
In exactly those moments, don’t doubt yourself! Keep going. Heal, grow, and find yourself again. Because then, you’ll be able to live a life you truly deserve. You’ll be surrounded by people who respect you, who value you, and who treat you with kindness.
And all of that – and so much more – is worth going through pain and hardship for, isn’t it?
Keep your eyes on this goal – your goal. It can give you strength. Sending love. I believe in you!
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TBH, I would go bang her husband. It’s a win win.
You show her who’s boss and rock his world at the same time.
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