5 days ago I did my last loop of wanted and I am still processing like crazy.
The next loop will be in 3 days.
It the first time I have trouble to describe what’s going on
But I try it anyway
I date a super super sexy Peruvian Dentist and I don’t give it to her in fact I let her do the move. She asked me if I like the Peruvian women and I told her : yes and no, yes because (keep in mind that iquitos is a Jungel city, the people here are different) it’s very easy to have sex with 18+ women, 2-3 women a day is possible. But they are like fucking Animals. They fuck like there is no tomorrow and then they leave, like they where in a fast food restaurant😂
I told her I like to have a connection with a women, I like to enjoy slow sex and expirience the women, i like to hear the women, smell the women, kiss her wohle body, kiss her slow for a long time, hold her afterwards, I want the women to honor my body, I want the women to seduce me and have a great time, I like that the women teach me what is right for her, so that I can be her great lover, I want Sensuality and I want her to be Sensual to me. Then I told her, if she ever want a good, long, sensual and sexual night/nights she has to give me a Call. Then I did what I wanted and she followed me the whole evening.
Normally I tell Women that I find them Erotic and I want to sleep with them right now. But somehow I put the decision in her Hands.
I am developing a solid healthy self esteem
I aknowledge my worth
I belive I am valuable
I see my flaws and kind of smirk about and tell me : so what, let’s use them for giving me an edge
During a walk I asked myself : how woud I behave if I can be however I want to be and still get the women I want.
Instandly pressure dropped off me, a sence of: I don’t need to pretend to be something I am not
And I started to play and joke around with everbody
And somehow I see every attractive women as an opportunity to have funn In all directions
I started to accept myself for who I am and I like to be me
I start to love me more and more
Yesterday I had a little down for 20 seconds where I felt unloved but I told myself : OK it’s true that I don’t have someone to love but until I find someone, I can love myself and start there
A couple of sad states arised ( Heartsong for sure) that had to do with:left alone in the world
I had 3 days to work on my heart but a good amount of these sad states are no more inside me
The sense of : everyone who leave me or mistreat me is just plain stupid
The sense of I am a desirable Man
And much more.
I update later