PrSeQZP, LibQZP & HearQ+WaQ Custom of Nascent

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 14

Today is my rest day. Trying to get all my food in via tacos was a challenge today, not sure since it was 7am in the morning or if I’d need a better quality meal Trying to find what parts to write down and what parts are not needed in writing down right now. While at work I did experience some tugging or sensation of tingling that I attribute to the Diamond doing it’s thing.

My shift was a lot longer than expected as we had somebody call in so I stayed an extra two hours, thanks to that I felt more tired and thirsty as it was too busy to drink any water. This was moment that I was originally was thinking was recon,since I was feeling weak and was thinking if I really wanted to be on this path of dating and having fun with the ladies. But once I got home, got some water in me and laid down I felt good. Had clarity that this is the path I do want, probably gonna work out how to keep more water in me next time. That was a good opportunity to get deep into my subconscious, just feel more congruent.

Was still thinking on my day and my musings while on the treadmill and 30 minutes and 2 miles later passed by in a blur. It was an intense experience I wanted to eat, break my fast, eat fast food, not workout. I was these wants, but I resisted as that would not be congruent to what I want, to whom I am. Insight comes when you least expect it, this zero point just kicked in and I had to really evaluate my feelings, thought and overall being. I am a new me, my past is my past self, I am not limited by my present, I am ever changing and ever evolving. Still feeling these musings even now, don’t even feel the need to listen to more than the recommended amount as it feels pretty darn close to perfect

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 15

Today is my custom day. A little late in posting as I just fell asleep early last night, guess my body needed it. I cooked for myself in the morning as that is pretty rare for me to cook at all, before heading out to work. It was pretty alright at work, a little steady but not too bad. Had a good moment when one of the reps that mention their discount programs came over and I feel like I had good rapport with her, she was tall and cute. That day was my birthday, so my coworkers got me sweets and paid for my lunch. So all in all it was good day, I wasn’t so used to all those sweets though.

I have a couple of gatherings coming up soon, I am looking forward to them. Interested about what to expect on Tuesday as I’ll be hanging out with a big group, some cute girls from what I’ve heard will be there so I’m looking forward to that. Something that almost slipped my mind to mention, was that I reached out to my sister, niece and father as I haven’t messaged them in quite a bit of time. It was a needed thing as I instantly felt better about doing that, my inner self was dwelling on that I needed to connect with my other family that I sometimes neglect on.

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 16

Rest or processing day. A lot late in posting, things of note is that my scalp is a little sore or sensitive. I know my allergies have been bothering me, been taking some allergie meds. My throat is a little sore. Had a long day at work, it was nice though, but I was tired and just ready to rest as soon I got home.

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 17

My two zp one loop listen day today. Crazy to think it has been 17 days already, time sure does fly. Celebrated a late birthday with my mom and brother at a seafood restaurant, had a burger and some salmon. It was a good time being with them and laughing. Allergies are a pain in the butt, not fun to deal with at all. Played some more of my game, took a nap as well. Not sure if I am dealing with recon or this allergy thing is just messing with me. But also likely since I’m working almost daily at work, only having one day off every now and then.

Was proud of myself, finally went back to the gym. Said to myself just go and stop talking yourself out of it. Lifted heavier and felt more of a pump this time around. Finished off my time in the dry sauna, met another guy in the sauna who started to talk to me in there. Sometimes I wish it was a coed dry sauna so I could talk to girls there at times But whatever I still enjoyed the chat. While driving back home from the gym, another vehicle just braked all of sudden in front of me with less than a car distance from me. But I remained calm and wasn’t bothered by it in the least, my frame of mind felt chill and calm.

After that happened the radio played this old song of “Green Day - Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”, I experienced this vibe of feeling this song speak to me as others have mentioned to other songs. It just spoke to me and resonated strongly within me, like I know I have my family. But more in the sense of I was strong even if I had to face a situation by myself, I’d still be okay. Curious to see how the five day washout will be like in the form of the blooming effect.

[Lion]

Happy Birthday!

[Mogul_Nascent]

Thank you man

[Abhishek]

Happy Birthday, Man! May you achieve all that you want & read your journal, good going.

[Seeker]

@Mogul_Nascent

Celebrated a late birthday

Happy birthday!

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 18

Today is the rest day/processing day. A little late in posting, drank some beer and allergies made me sleep early last night. I worked today, runny nose is not fun and doesn’t help to make the day go by. After work I went home and relaxed before our pharmacy get together at a mexican restaurant. It was pretty packed surprisingly, I sat with my pharmacist husband and just chilled and enjoyed myself. No nerves whatsoever, the reason I drank was that he was drinking and I was like why not. As I’m writing this in the next day before going to work, yeah not fun having to hydrate and feel stiff.

The dinner went well, I sat at the head of the table. Guess they knew I was the main person there Just had fun talking eating and playing some of the Christmas themed trivia, should have ran some limitless and I would have won one of the prizes That one coworker she wanted me to sit next to her and I was like I’ll sit that one guy who is interesting, plus I’m my own man Even caught some vibes from one of my pharmacist daughters kept trying to catch my eyes, overall a fun night. If I could do it over again, no beer. Like not worth it, I got up when it was done and felt so bloated.

Morale of the story, just stick to Subliminals from SubClub.

[Mogul_Nascent]

Also read up on the dreams others have been having, I have noticed more dreams. More vivid than they normally have been. Still trying to make sense of mine, really looking forward to the five day rest to let it bloom.

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 19

Today is my custom one loop listen day. My morning consisted of waking up, drinking lots of water and dealing with allergies. Definitely a struggle to get ready for work this morning, as I’m at work I seem to be still struggling with allergies. But it’s still better than it was yesterday, my scalp is still sensitive even now. My coworker she complimented my curly hair this morning that I’m letting grow out, I’m growing out my hair since I like the look my brother has even though he has straight hair. One of the first reasons as to why I was growing my hair was that my ex kept saying I was going bald, so this feels like I’m saying shes wrong and forget her. She still does pop up into my mind at times, but it is getting less and less frequent.

I’ve been trying to update my views on relationships as my brother pointed out to me, if I have a negative view on relationships it will bring me negative relationships. So trying to work to be more optimistic in my head, no serious person comes to mind for any relationship at the moment. I’m loving how social and in the moment I am, plus the frame of being okay with who I am and not needing validation. One thing I’ve been proud of myself even though I’ve been feeling sick recently and just fell asleep when I got back home and didn’t go to the gym. Is that I’m still ending my showers with cold water, one quote that I keep repeating to myself that helps; “The only Easy Day was Yesterday”.

I’m attributing that to Primal, love my frame. Still weird to see old photos of myself, like a different person. Even hearing about my old relationship is foreign to me as that is not something I would do now. Having a journal is pretty helpful, I can see why the founders and other members say to do so. So much thoughts or feelings or events can go unmissed, I love this journey. This journey still feels like the first steps to a new me, I can’t foresee the future; but I’m optimistic for my life and continued advancements.

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 20

Listening/Processing Day. Just woke up like 15 minutes ago at 5:30am when my brother was leaving for work. Had to write this as my dream was so vivid, I thought my previous dream was vivid. No this was next level, felt like months had passed in this dream. I’m in a new city with some older girl who is pregnant or has a kid I haven’t seen the kid but she does look big so could be pregnant. Her dad and mom are with us at the hotel while we look up an apartment we can get.

Started unpacking our things as she that made sense to do, I’m like not gonna argue so I do so. See some of my books, some clothing, place is big for a motel. I talk with the girl and ask her for how long do she think I should ask for an apartment, like just rent month per month or a contract for a year. She said that is up to you, whatever you wanna do. No idea why I’m with her is my thoughts, I’m just going thru the motions is what I typically do. But I didn’t want this, like where is my brother or mother, feels like I haven’t seen them in ages. One of my fears is getting in a relationship and losing contact with my family as that has happened before.

As I’m walking thru the parking lot after getting a quote for the apartment, I had an epiphany; I don’t want this, I’m just gonna leave, I’m done with this farce, I’m not responsible for her or someone else’s happiness. Now I’m in front of her, I look at her and tell her I’m not getting an apartment with you. We are done, I’m grabbing my things and going. She had a shocked look at her face, I went to the other room to grab my backpack and packed my books and left my clothes as I wanted to be dressed new for my new path. As I’m leaving I hear them trying to comfort her, then a younger guy I’m not sure where he was hiding but he says he’ll find me and show me not to do that to her.

I run with my heavy backpack in the parking lot and go to the second floor of it and notice some military people there. The man said I can’t be there, I said I’m just hiding out from my ex and her family and will wait it out in the stair entrance and he was like okay. There was a lot of people using the stairs, I feel good. Not worried, I think I gotta message my brother and see about moving back with him. I was upset with myself as I had just promised myself as I wouldn’t get in a relationship this quickly, as I have a vague recollection of being with her from October to now of December.

My coworker is next to me and asking how I’m how doing and that she is glad I’m out of that relationship, she asks when I did get with her. I’m like let me check my phone, this cute girl in short shorts gets embarrassed because of something on my phone. I’m like it’s good to be single, as I’m about to talk with that girl who has short hair red, dye?? I wake up.

Again this was just crazy vivid, I looked at my brother and was very happy to see him. It had felt so long, had to reorient myself to the now and present. My fear of losing myself into a relationship and just going with the motions and me being stuck, showed that I have the power to break these relationships, I have power. Felt like real life and not like a dream when I was in there. Gotta give love to saint and fire for this tech, love it. Just wow, I am strong, I am in control of my reality. Well now I know I can get out of a relationship and it’ll be okay, there are always another life or opportunity out there for you.

That’s all for now I’ll update tonight after work, I’m just gonna listen to some music and just think.

[Lion]

Woah! That dream felt like a parallel universe even to me!

Definitely some major breakthrough.

[Mogul_Nascent]

Your telling me, still a trip to think back on it

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 20 part 2

Rest day/processing day. My allergies are pretty close to being gone, still have a cough; but no more runny nose so a win in my book. Though I wonder if it’s because of all the rest I got, slept at 7am, 9am and woke up at 12pm to have my big meal of six tacos. As far as my work day goes, I felt more carefree and just enjoyed more conversations and made people smile and laugh. Honestly the day just seemed to have ended quickly, that dream from earlier is still lingering near my periphery.

Had that one coworker who likes me say that my curls look cute Even had one coworker who is cute, but I just didn’t like her comments that she made on our handheld radio about all men being gross But honestly I was like so what I’m not in that category, I’m awesome That mindset shift was a change in how I felt like I could flow better in talking with her and not care anymore about that comment.

Feeling calm and collected tonight, no gym just feel like taking it easy as I don’t want to chance me feeling bad for tomorrow as I’m gonna hang out with my brother and some of his coworkers. At a place that has billards, bowling, arcade games, laser tag and etc. Plus there will be some single girls there as well,hoping to just have fun and see what happens; at the end of the day I’ll enjoy myself tomorrow. Also tomorrow is my last day of listening before the five day rest/processing day. Looking forward to that and what that will entail of the bloom and what I will experience.

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 21

Listened to one loop of Diamond zp and PS Zp. I’m nine shots in to this journal, had a fun night tonight. Got called in to work today on my day off from my boss. Said yes to it as I got to leave work before the event started with my brother and his coworkers. Overall for tonight got to drink, play pool, bowl and got to do an obstacle course. It was a good fun night, one of the girls who was 18 was very physical, she had the vibe of just trying to get attention by pushing her boobs every 10 seconds

She was in a relationship, but I didn’t really care. Main thing was to just have fun, didn’t worry about anything. Honestly this was a pretty cathartic experience, was popping a lot of jack daniel shots. But it was a good experience overall, got to experience cute girls and a fun time with the boys. Got to experience some more dreams of me zombie slaying in a house earlier in the morning. My mood throughout the night was pretty good, just started to drink not out of nerves but more to better enjoy the night and de-stress.

Honestly that blonde girl who was 18 was fun, she was very physical. Almost as cocky as me

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 22

The start of my five day rest/processing day. Today has definitely been an introspective day, had many conversations and gained little bits of insight; plus thought some more of my interactions last night. Kinda surprised to be already experiencing this on my first day of the five days off, so I’ll go over how I was thinking too much of that one girl from yesterday who was very flirtatious with everyone yesterday and dressed in a way that she could show off what shes got. Consciously I wasn’t trying to become entirely focused on her as that would just be putting her on a pedestal or worse oneitis. But with the constant question in my head, I realized I was inadvertently leaning towards that direction.

She was cute and flirtatious yes, but there are always others; don’t get fixated in the moment. Been a while since I’ve been around someone that cute and very physical; ie lots of touch, getting in my face etc. Got to see a couple in our group who I got along with pretty well, just a thought or image popped up of me if I could be that cool and have a girl that in love with me. Next thing I did was to change my thought that I will keep on improving and that will naturally occur with time, the limit is myself; I will keep on improving. A video popped up on my youtube recommendation that I strongly agreed with at the time, it was a video of a women saying that it’s okay for a man to be big, to be lazy, overall it was just her saying to love yourself as you are and not to worry about trying to improve or get better or healthy. That was my previous relationship, me not improving, me stagnating, me wasting away; no more is that me.

Drove to work thinking I was gonna be late, only to show up and be told that I showed up an hour early She texted my old number to show up later, well I was there and just chatted up with my coworkers. Got laughs and was able to chat up with everyone smoothly, got to hear how they liked me and appreciated how I wasn’t immersed in the drama of my coworkers in the pharmacy. Just again was taking in everything they were telling me and having that thought pop up that everyone has their own views or perceptions. If it doesn’t concern me, then I shouldn’t let it bother me; just enjoy the path.

Then just a tidbit I found funny, was how I spent more time with this one coworker. That one girl who likes me there, made an off comment that I should talk to my bestie about something at work since I was chatting her up earlier. Still so nice to experience and funny all the same to experience in real life. Not gonna lie it would be easy I think to get her, sometimes the loneliness hits me. Especially when around a lot of people and seeing that bond, seems tempting at times. But this loneliness comes and goes, while it has helped me to see that I improve and advance when I’m not tied down to someone else. Plus there won’t be someone who loves me as much me.

Truly an introspective day, love it.

P.S
Just compared photos of me now and one month ago, loving how more muscular I look. Plus my face looks more masculine, less round. Look pretty handsome

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 23

Second day of my five day rest/processing day. Big time late in typing this one down. Just had a few moments of note today, had a 30 something girl asking me how my day was at work and started brushing her hair and we chatted a bit. It was a nice feeling to experience, by her starting the interaction. Didn’t want to get anything going on yet, she was cute but I’m at work. Not looking to get into anything at here, done that before and never worth it from my experience.

Had that one coworker said she’ll stay an extra hour at work to hang out with me more. Still a little bit of a self questioning day from myself

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 24

Third day of my five day rest/processing day. Had some vivid dreams this morning. My gym that I go to had more than two thirds of it’s space made into a fancy restaurant vibe at which point I ate some of the good food and the staff wiped at my mouth for me to clean my face, all good looking staff. The gym side was smaller and more crowded. Looking back at it now, I’m wondering if that is myself coming to the conclusion of focusing on the gym less and trying to enjoy life and let myself be appreciated from the wanted that I’m running. Had some other dreams but less coherent or not enough for me to recall right now.

Just a short day at work, but I did feel like a sort of bloom when I arrived. Talked with more people, had one girl who worked in another department get pretty close with me. My mood was up in the skies, even got a gift card from one of my coworkers. At one point in the drive thru, felt that both the mom and daughter were checking me out. I complimented the moms sweater and she also really liked my festive sweater. After work I went off to Walmart and just went to grab a snack, didn’t feel compelled to try and engage any women. Had a guy wish me Merry Christmas after seeing my sweater, but honestly it’ll happen when I’m ready. No need to stress myself out about it.

Spoke with my brother, he did recommend to me that maybe I should switch out my Diamond ZP for a healing sub. Sounds like a good idea, but I’ll wait until my final fifth day before making my decision. Have noticed that I do seem to have grown some, not a bad feeling to experience.

[Mogul_Nascent]

Day 25

Fourth day of my five day rest/processing day. First off gotta say that I’m excited to hear about Libertine ZP being released, more than likely gonna switch out Diamond ZP for that one. Today was my work day for Christmas, overall it was a fun day. Got to meet new people, chat up and expand my circle. There were some cute girls, one girl who I couldn’t stop having my eyes be drawn too. As legit she had tight clothes and an almost hour glass figure, chatted with her for a bit. But yeah I felt good working today, would have missed out on that.

Skipped my lunch at work so I could leave thirty minutes early, once I got home and had a big meal I just feel asleep. Hard to believe that tomorrow will be my fifth day, I’m excited to start up my stack. But any worries I had over me not having any results on my five day rest is nullified, still feel the subs and love how they feel. Goodnight, I’m still feeling full. I’ll be off of work tomorrow, be fasting tomorrow and hit the gym.