Thank you very much @Azriel your words came in the right moment and are a gently reminder to keep calm and focus on the lessons.
I woke up feeling much better emotionally, my finger still hurts a lot and had to cancel some of my plans for today.
At some level I think Im punishing myself, because I dont believe I deserve to be happy.
I will clean it all in the fire of purification.
Today is my rest day… due to recent events Im gonna do a couple of loops of Elixir anyway, I feel they are going to help me.
I cant remember if it was real late last night or really early this morning, but I remove a big dark shadow from my chest, as soon as I did that a silver/white bright sphere appeared and began to enter my chest filling me up like a liquid… it changed my mood instantly.
Now Im in a really good mood even though my finger is still swollen and in pain.
My girlfriend asked me a while ago if something happened because I looked sad, didnt feel it when she asked me, dont feel it now either, but I do feel in my eyes, the same sensation than were you are about to cry.
Anyway Ive been working this morning in clearing and healing from sadness and I feel very relaxed and light.
I was focusing touch in anger when inside of it I really felt sad and lonely. Anger was a cover from sadness.
This is another step forward in the road.
Adding Primal Seduction at the time was a good move cause I was in need of what PS has to offer. It was an intuitive decision, didnt really understand it completely at the moment.
Now I feel is no longer aligned with my purpose, its was giving me desires to meet other woman, I didnt want to aknowledge that, but that wasnt the problem, that came from a dissatisfaction with my current relationship, which had me angry at my girlfriend.
That wasnt the problem either, it was all about not valuing myself enough as a man, not feeling worthy of being really loved, and a lingering desire to prove my worth by being a great lover.
Of course my concept of great lover had 2 flaws, the first being once I did all the things a great lover does, I started losing interest. The second I believed that the more women the better the lover.
I can see how those beliefs affected all the relationships I had in my life and when this all started. The kind of people I admired and tried to emulate.
I feel how its all dissolving now.
Im starting to see my life under a new light, subtly but deeply things keep pouring out under a new perspective… my mind keeps reprocessing the information and I get flashes of awareness about different things.
Now Im going for some Elixir Ultima, to help the process of restoring and reprogramming.
As always Elixir Ultima delivers! Its like a balm for the mind and te body… it relaxes the muscles and soften the mind which I really needed.
This healing crisis was pretty strong, not the strongest Ive experienced in my life, but it felt pretty bad.
Now that Im seeing the skies after the storm, they look pretty clear and shinny, it really feels like a new beginning.
Well well, what can I say… after all this clearing sex got a lot better. Much more about connection and complicity rather than have something to prove as a man.
Obviously by removing PS, I had to rework things a bit. Its time for me to focus on whats important and to stop wasting time chasing things I dont really care about and that they dont add value.
Now its time to focus in growing my business, getting myself to be known for what Im good at.
Fully focused on being recognized for the work I do and get very well paid for it.
Everything else is good and taken cared of or not important.
I revisited again some changes I was planning to do to my main custom and this is the end result. New Agni (regular Q power)
Cores:
Alchemist ST4
Stark
Modules:
Direct Influencing
Intuition Enhancer
Negative Energy Transmutation
Divine Will
The Architect.
Energetic Development
Mystery
Chiron
Dragons Tongue
All-Seeing
The Spotlight
Rogue
Total Nonchalance.
Lion IV
Financial Succes Reality Shifter
Wealth Limit Destroyer
Secrets of Akasha
Secret Source
My finger is getting better, still hurts but not as much and the inflammation is decreasing.
Im drinking lots of golden milk wich is very good to treat inflammation, it has lots of tumeric and ginger.
Inflammation reduced in about 85%, pain in more that 50%.
Yesterday I did some self hypnosis to uncover and heal the causes of pain, did 2 loops of Elixir Ultima, been drinking my golden milk and use some arnica cream, even took some mild analgesic.
Im covering all fronts.
I just got my Schumann frequency generator, I have very good references about it. Ive been reading posts in a forum from many people, they all agree in how much their sleep improved since they got one. That and many other benefits.
Today I beging testing mine
Yes! New updated Agni just ordered… Should be recieving it about tuesday.
Standard Q power, twoTerminus is too much for me to handle and I prefer my main sub to be Q.
So 1 Q and 1 T? This is what I plan on doing. My T sub just came in yesterday. And yeah, 2 T would be way too much right now haha.
Exactly! 1 Q and 1 T. The main one is the Q, for everyday listening, with proper rest days. T is the secondary and probably will do that one every other day.
2T for me was too taxing, it was hard to admit but it is what it is.
My finger still hurts, but my mood is really good. Yesterday I worked with 3 clients and came to the beach with my girlfriend till tuesday.
Im gonna rest during the weekend and just listen to Elixir to help my finger.
I feel like I went through some threshold in my life, cant quite put it in to words yet, I think I need some time for things to settle and for me to notice the effects.
I couldnt play the guitar the last couple of days due to my swollen finger, Im gonna give it a try today.
Im eager to go trekking but forgot my good shoes back home, no way Im going with sneakers up the mountain, so we decided to take a long walk today.
Not for a couple of hours though, the schumann frecuency generator seems to be working very good, my girlfriend is sleeping long and deep, me Im sleeping very deep with lots of dreams, but not for too long… anyway I wake up rested.
Im gonna do some Elixir Ultima while Im still in bed, to start the day the right way.
I forgot to journal that yesterday I could again percieved how much more relaxed Im in social situations, how easy for me has become to interact, talk and joke around, totally effortles. Nice effect of Stark/Daredevil.