It might be to be honest, that thought entered my mind at some point.
For now Im recording my thought process, even though thousand ideas cross my mind when on reconciliation, Ive learned to some extent to make the final decision when I feel good.
I do something similar. I never make decisions when I feel moody or reconciliation.
Yeah it works better that way! I feel very good now and I feel that sticking to my original plan is the way to go. Im sleeping on it though.
Im reading the descriptions of the healing modules of my customs, to reconnect with my original intention.
I marked in bold the effects Ive felt from these modules.
ARES
Weakness, doubt, guilt, shame and fear are the poisons that hold you back from achieving greatness. ARES is the antidote that purges them from you without mercy. Whatever the reasons, and no matter the source, these negative emotions and the traumas associated with them will be released.
Blue Skies
Originally not intended for release, Blue Skies is a profound module allowing the user to glimpse the hidden depths of reality, the secrets about himself he might have been hiding, develop his concept of “Love” – any kind of love, such as unconditional or romantic, and any type, be it internal or external (such as self love), as well as using such seeing beyond the physical veil to take the user’s cognitive, artistic/creative and spiritual abilities to the next level. Now available and useable for the public, Blue Skies can give your subliminal a distinct take that will push your growth continously.
New Beginnings
New Beginnings is a module designed to dig to the deepest, darkest corners of your psyche, in order to deal with your innermost secrets and fears that you never even knew existed. Issues such as Imposter Syndrome can have extremely deep roots – and New Beginnings is the tool to dig such weeds out. Furthermore, New Beginnings will bring any such issues, secrets, fears or beliefs that are held in the deep layers of your subconscious to the forefront of your awareness and question them, causing you to become more true to yourself and what you believe in.
Attachment Destroyer
Any toxic individuals, any feelings, any situations or traumas that you might be holding on too tightly will easily be let go of. This will easily transfer into your social ability, where old blockages and inability to say some things will vanish and be replaced with freedom.
Negative Energy Transmutation: This one is a bit tricky to know for sure, what I can say is that I dont feel bothered nor perturbed by other peoples shit. The negative energy they project doesnt seem to affect me.
Any negative energy that comes at you, be it in the form of non self-aware toxicity, direct impulsive attacks, or even more severe actions, easily is repurposed into positive energy that makes you more powerful, more capable, successful and happy.
Energetic Development XI: This one I feel it during meditation and during self Hypnosis and NLP practices, Im more aware of the energy flowing and its easier for me to direct the flow or do transmutation
Developing your energy, be it viewed as something spiritual or psychological, results in greater capacity to execute and manifest any subliminal instructions. With this module, you’ll easily improve your energetic system, helping you get better and better results with subliminals, psychological and spiritual practices.
Spiritual Freedom
Sometimes we can feel like life is bleak, lacking the inner glow that we love so. We can feel constricted in our current beliefs, or perhaps we haven’t even thought about there being something more. Use this module to expand your horizons and allow yourself to experience a fuller spectrum of reality. It will help bring back the bliss of being into your life and make it much more colorful.
Same here. I’ve noticed a real change in energy sensations.
@Malkuth its such a cool module!
Ive just finished a deep trance exploration and I could interact with the consciousness constructs with ease, energy quickly responds to my intention, if I want to move it out of my body, reshape it, change its color and vibration, put it back in, it just flows.
If I want to move and transform pictures and sounds from memories, its like it reads my intention and automatically responds. It feels like the thought forms are alive and have intelligence and they now obey my command, insted of ruling my life.
All I need is to enter the right state of consciousness to engage the process.
Im not saying this module is the only thing involved in developing this ability, but surely it has helped a lot.
I cleared a lot of trauma in this experiment, guided purely by intuition.
Ive just resumed listening to my stack. Reconciliation ended yesterday after lunch and had a good night sleep.
What I feel as the right approach for a listening schedule is to keep things pretty much the same, except for the addition of an extra rest day on wednesday. That way I believe I wont have such a dense processing spike on weekends.
So…
Monday: Agni, Limitless, Prometheus (1 loop each)
Tuesday: Agni, Limitless, Prometheus (1 loop each)
Wednesday: Rest
Thursday: Agni, Limitless, Prometheus (1 loop each)
Friday: Agni, Limitless, Prometheus (1 loop each)
Saturday: Rest
Sunday: Rest
Today Ive been feeling really good and playful, they way I like to feel, on top of the game.
I had a couple of situations that in the past would have stressed me out, but today I kept my cool and only had space in my mind for solutions. At some point I engaged in negative thinking but it didnt hold water and just let it go.
Im proactive closing with a couple of clients from another city, so I planned a trip with my girlfriend to the beach, I will work a bit and then we will enjoy the weekend.
Guitarwise, In doing my exercises, learning my scales, shapes and modes and using a metronome. My subjective appreciation is that its getting easier to process many things simultaneously. More objectively Im more relaxed and more precise in the movements, more in the way I want them to be.
The most important part… Im enjoying it a lot!
Just finished my Yoga routine, felt my body a little hard after the reconciliation weekend, but I felt the energy to do the whole practice.
Theres a will that gently push me to do it completely, it engages at the right moment.
Today Ive noticed a couple of things that are worthy of further exploration.
•Im living under the belief that theres no escape from the system, that there is no choice to break the control spell the powers behind goverments have us on, belief which makes me feel angry and despise people who think they can change the world. It was a painful discovery but a much needed one in order to free myself.
•Ive been feeling angry for many days, not all the time and it doesnt last long. Its like Im easlily triggered into anger. Now for someone who has a life long experience of repressing emotions and at some point decided to change that it shouldnt be a surprise… yet it was
What a strong emotional release I just had… I was able to get out from my own belief system, and to see it and every other belief system from outside. I got this deep sense that I can choose what to believe and create my own reality.
I wasnt a prisoner of dark powers, I was a prisoner of my own mind, at least thats how it felt. For years I had this image of being chained and now I was back to childhood and instead of chains I had both my father and my mother grabbing me by the hands. I understood that I felt under constant control from them and felt I had no choice but to comply. Later in life my mind change that into the metaphor of chains.
I let it all go, released the whole thing.
Im giving myself some well deserved Elixir Ultima, it so refreshing for my heart/chest.
It melts away tension and pain.
I had the weirdest experience while meditating.
I was standing inside a room as a 2 year old me, then I began to grow, both in size and age till I was an adult, then I kept growing in size… really big growing next to a wall with numbers. When I reached number 98 my head touched the ceiling, a very tall one by the way.
With my intention I went through the ceiling until I was out in space and standing over the place that I just came out of… it was like a small box in wich I was standing, I began to look around and it was like a huge PC motherboard with thousand of this boxes. I found one that was golden, went to that one and got inside, while having the intuition that every box was a different reality.
Got inside the gold one and everything felt somewhat different, but at the same time very familiar, it felt really good so I decided to stay there… like it all clicked in the right way.
Yet to see what was this all about, for now I have this feeling of inner peace.
Angry… angry… angry… tired… angry… sad… angry… angry… tired… sad
That was my day today.
Im boiling inside, looking for an excuse to get really confrontational.
Im going through a crisis… my left index is swollen and in lots of pain… waves of negativity are filling my body.
I have thoughts that I made a big mistake, that my life is a big mistake, that Im a big mistake.
I feel anger, sorrow, emptiness, sadness, but mostly pure hate.
I cant sleep, I cant talk, Im hidding inside of me and that makes it so much worse, I feel this is the only place I can express myself, but at the same time I know Im full of crap… im just hidding in a hole.
words of encouragement to use or discard as you see fit
(I say this as much to myself in a similar situation to as to anyone to whom it applies-I felt inspired to write this and if it lands like unsolicited advice or irrelevant apologies in advance)
I feel the space you are is right before turning a corner, likely soon, where everything you’ve ever done, mistakes and what seems like it was done to you, will be shining as obvious perfect pieces to the puzzle you needed to fulfill your deepest potential and desires. I don’t say that lightly as my trials and tribulations, so to speak, have been quite objectively horrific. But for someone on the path of development, spiritual or just in life, as you are…this realization is inevitable. You’ve probably already had it, it comes and goes and seems to get deeper each time.
In the meantime-an invitation to embrace or embrace not embracing, all of you, failure and success, exactly as you are, dark and light, and even love the parts of yourself that doubt your whole life as a mistake, know your full of crap, and want to have you hide away in holes (and not the good kind )
Yes.
damned good.
Yes. Let it be so.