Praise The Urd Tree's Permanent Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#308

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Day 17 - QL ST1, Lots, New EoG ST2 - EoG ST2 - 2/14/2025

Yeah, it’s time to go back on Primal or Khan. I’ve just not been feeling too great. I feel like starting the Khan journey and then dropping it after the first stage was a well intentioned mistake. Should have known, it’s right in the sales copy, more than once, that if you start Khan, you should damn well intend to finish it, even if it’s only one cycle per stage.

I’ve been having a bit of trouble moving forward, and it feels like it’s because my Khan journey is unresolved. I broke myself down over months, but then I didn’t really add anything back in to build myself back up.

This is me saying that though I’ve seen some results from my current stack, I’ve felt very unresolved and a little bit mentally stuck.

I did a cycle on Primal last cycle and felt amazing, but then I dropped it for QL this cycle because I allowed myself to panic (always a mistake), and that’s how the cycle of subhopping and distraction beings and that’s where it leads invariably.

It all starts with a little side quest, and then before you know it, months have passed and you’ve drifted mighty far from where you started.

So, moving forward.

#309

Noticed a big strength increase. More power in my strikes, and yesterday at rehearsal, there is a lift in one of my dances, and I grabbed that girl and lifted her so fast, it scared the crap out of her and everybody else.

She’s pretty light, but she’s gotta weigh at least 120, never have I thrown a girl around with that much power, that easily, lol. I genuinely wasn’t even trying either, it was one of those “don’t know my own strength” moments, that I’ve only experienced one other time, last year on emperor.

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#310

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Day 21 - QL ST1, Lots, New EoG ST2 - EoG ST2 + Primal - 2/18/2025

And the washout begins. I ran a loop of Primal today with EoG, and it felt pretty good. So I’ll be moving forward on Primal, EoG ST2, and LotS.

Results:

LotS results really started to shine by the end of the cycle. I spontaneously dropped 10lbs a few days ago, workouts have been getting better and better. I feel and look far younger than my age. I’m intuitively working out in a way that’s helping support my fitness goals. It’s like I simply know what areas my body needs help in with training and I just kinda adjust on the spot.

As I said last week, I also saw a big strength increase. The strength increase mostly comes about when I’m not thinking about it, like how I threw my dance partner around. I also notice it when I hit the bag without thinking. I’ll land a hook to the body that shakes the floor and I’m like “damn did I really just do that?”

EoG ST2 took a while to activate, (probably because of QL ST1, in retrospect) but toward the end of the cycle I started feeling calmer about finances and started getting money manifestations back on the level of Stark Black. Or close, so that’s great news.

QL ST1 was the problem child. The recon wrecked me for most of the cycle. I had little motivation to do anything at all and was completely apathetic, however, interest in certain topics did come back into focus toward the end of the cycle making it feel worth the initial sacrifice.

Trying microloops from here on out, why not? I’ve dabbled in them, but never really used them to any real effect, but recently my old philosophy has been held to the light, and it just seems a bit silly to try and struggle through it.

So yeah, we will go with microloops moving forward. Though struggle is proportional to results, the part that is often neglected is that if the struggle is pushed past the point of something that you can handle, then you simply shut down.

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#311

Cool.

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#312

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Day 1 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - Lots + Primal - 2/24/2025

Bad idea, DOA, but was worth the exploration.

Moving forward.

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#315

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Day 5 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - Lots + Primal - 2/28/2025

Thank the gods, never thought I’d be so happy to get shit tested. Lol.

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#316

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Day 11 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - New EoG ST2 - 3/6/2025

Been very angry on EoG ST2, just frustrated and impatient. The money doesn’t feel like it’s flowing yet and I really just wanna win.

I want to feel about money the way I feel about women.

With women, I genuinely can get pretty much any woman I want. It’s only a matter of laziness if I do. So long as I “pay the price” so to speak, she’s mine.

I want to be that way with money. I want to know in my core, and back it up with proof, that I can make as much money as I want, and that I can succeed at any money making venture I choose.

Because that’s how I feel about women and I’ve backed it up with evidence. High or low, I can pretty much get anybody, so long as I do what it takes. Sometimes, all I gotta do is wait, sometimes I gotta make small adjustments to myself, sometimes I don’t need to do anything, but so long as I’m patient and willing, I can have anybody.

With money, I don’t feel that way yet, but I know it’s possible. Big money dudes are like that. They can make any buisness work and that’s how I wanna be.

I have no interest in “choosing the right money making path” I want to transcend the path the same way I’ve transcended the idea of “the right girl”.

It should be possible.

How could money be any different than girls? It’s all just an energetic exchange, after all.

#317

The devil with my interests and aptitudes, the devil with my passions, I wish to be beyond passion beyond those limitations.

#318

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Day 15 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - New EoG ST2 - 3/10/2025

EoG ST2, what can I say about it at this point? Not too much, not too much. I’d say it’s been interesting, and a little confusing.

I haven’t really “felt it” the whole time I’ve been on it. Last cycle, stacking it with QL ST1 and LotS could have explained the lack of “feeling it” as my energy was directed toward healing cognitive stuff. This cycle on Primal, I also haven’t “felt it” much.

You know, in a weird way, I kinda miss recon. It’s insane, but the intense emotional reactions of recon really did remove all doubt that a sub was working.

I think I grew accustomed to recon and the instant emotional state shifts. If anything, I think the recon even started to become comforting to me. Despite a few years of periodically bitching about recon and secretly longing for an end to the constant mood swings.

It’s probably like how when I’m active, I become a little addicted to being sore after a workout. It’s just a gross, visceral experience that proves that my effort is paying off.

That’s why I grew so accustomed to recon. It was the “if it burns, it’s working” indicator of subliminal effectiveness.

Running this current stack, mostly free of emotional recon, it’s easier for me to slip into doubt about the program in the same way that if I’m not sore after a workout, it’s easy for me to question if I worked hard enough.

So ironic. I’m so against pain–or so I tell myself–yet I use pain as my primary indicator of growth and I’m even a little addicted to the pain.

Results

Clear and obvious results from EoG ST2

  • My mother spontaneously taking an interest in helping me find a new house to rent. She did this on her own without me asking. Interesting because I never told her I wanted to move, but I do, lol.
  • An interest in day trading that arose out of seemingly nowhere.
  • A soft job offer to become an electrician in training.

Yeah…I don’t know, the new tech is interesting and I’m kinda just free associating about it because it feel so different from anything I’ve used before that frankly, I don’t really feel like I have much of a baseline for understanding it yet.

My understanding of working with the old tech was formed over years of use, so I became very sensitive to the rhythms, exposure times, the recon timeline, and became pretty damn good at “dealing with it”. I even got to the point where I was sensitive enough to be able to predict results before they would appear, simply based on my emotional state.

With the new tech, part of me feels like all that old experience might be out the window.

But it’s possible that the feelings are just more subtle now and I need to increase my sensitivity.

We shall see.

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#319

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Day 17 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - Primal and Lots - 3/12/2025

Wrote this post, the next day I got a prospect emailing me about my products, I gave what I felt was a good response, and it’s been crickets since. So I guess that’s the start of a result, right? It’s further than I’ve gotten so far.

The last loop of EoG ST2 gave some recon, seems like I predicted it in my hubris. Otherwise, I’ve just been feeling lazy.

Maybe I’m lazy because I fell into stack hopping a bit at the start of this year and my subconscious needed some more time to settle down before results could unfold. I’ll admit, I haven’t really been taking action or doing anything for like 6 weeks now.

I fell into deep laziness during last cycle running QL ST1 and I just didn’t fight it. I kind of just let myself be lazy which isn’t great. The laziness bled into this cycle and it’s been a slow build back up.

What’s my point, idk, we’re just talking, no big deal.

I really feel like I need to go back on Khan, but I wanted to see this cycle through, chill out a little bit, let the threads of recon unravel a little bit, before I added it back in.

Maybe next cycle I’ll throw Khan back in.

#320

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Day 21 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - Primal and Lots - 3/17/2025

End of cycle. Very lazy, very unmotivated, a little catatonic the whole cycle and it’s almost certainly because I went back on my word to myself. I ended last year great and started off this year great, and then I quickly allowed my opinion to be swayed, and I sub-hopped.

I’ve been lazy and unmotivated in everything, every aspect of my life, even my sex drive has vanished up until 2 days ago which isn’t normal for me. If I look at a calendar, about 2 days ago is when processing for previous subs should have cleared.

First cycle of the new year was Primal Lots and Eog St1 OG, second cycle of the year was QL, EoG ST2, and Lots. This cycle was Primal, Lots EoG ST2.

So yeah, I screwed around a little bit.

Toward the end of this cycle things started to clear up a little bit. I felt my focus, my drive, and my desire coming back, albeit slowly. Yes, sex drive started to return too.

I worked out yesterday, found a free 6-month workout plan that’s progressive and totally solid that I’ll start today, and the semester just started back up.

So, I’m feeling pretty good. In truth, I haven’t felt bad the last 6 weeks, no negative symptoms or thoughts. I’ve felt neutral just incredibly lazy, un-motivated, and unmoved to do anything on the day to day. Which has led to a bit of confusion as to why I’m so lazy and unmotivated.

Results? None really…I mean, kinda, but not really. Given the complete lack of action and motivation, pretty much all my results have just been little epiphanies or comments from strangers, but nothing tangible yet. It felt like my subconcious was just a little done and it was busy processing all the input that I’ve fed it.

EoG ST2

On the EoG ST2 front I was expecting things to go very differently. I was expecting either recon or results. What I was really expecting was that since I already laid the foundation to bring in some extra cash, that I would simply make some sales, probably experience some doubt, lessons, and recon along the way, maybe I’d piss off a customer or two and have to deal with that but scale over time. I guess I was kinda expecting it to just sorta work out. Not without effort, but I was expecting a little magic.

What I’ve gotten so far is…neither. Neither recon nor results.

I haven’t made a single sale in 8 weeks. Yikes, but we’re surviving.

In the two months that I’ve been on EoG ST2, I’ve had about 3 or 4 times that I’ve run it and it’s caused noticeable anger that’s led me into conflict with my FWB about her tendency to control and disrespect me. Each and every time, it happened same day as listening, and it was clear that it was related to EoG ST2. It wasn’t recon though because she HAS BEEN controlling and she HAS BEEN disrespectful. So, it was really just an action trigger.

This was enough for me to be sure that it was doing SOMETHING. But besides that…I haven’t really noticed anything at all, which is pretty strange, and pretty abnormal for me. Because though sometimes hardheaded and lazy, I’m pretty sensitive to subs and tend to feel shifts immediately.

So, my experience on ST2 so far has been mostly confusion. Because besides the 3 or 4 times that it triggered anger in me and led me to deal with disrespect, I haven’t felt anything else at all. Nothing I can put my finger on. Nothing I can point to and say “there it is, a result.” And again, I tend to be pretty sensitive…

There have been some insights about what jobs and hobbies I want to pursue, but TBH, those insights felt more like Primal as I had similar insights when I tested Primal last year. So, I can’t even say that was EoG ST2 for sure.

It’s…well, what is it? Idk?

So Yeah

So yeah, the cycle has been a nothing burger. No sales, not much in the way of results. No real action. Totally lazy and unmotivated.

Actual Results

Note: This is common for me, been on physical shifting for years. It’s just a fact, I look a decade younger than I am. Thanks sub club. Also, LotS
Positive comments about my appearance and how young I look. Women in utter disbelief when they learn my real age.

Note: Felt like Primal and I liked it
Insight about a long term career dream.

Note: Probably a delayed result from QL ST1, given what happened on that cycle.
Dropping Computer Science probably because I don’t love it and in the age of AI it just doesn’t make sense to get a BS in computer science (probably). At the very least, it’s just not really what I want to do.

Note: LotS
Sexy new workout plan.

Note: LotS
A solution for a health issue that I’ve been dealing with for a few months.

That’s about it.

Moving Forward?

Well, a washout is always the first line of defense. I’ve spend 6 weeks in overload and it’s only just now clearing up, so an extra long washout seems smart. I’ll probably washout until April 1st, then take it from there.

5 Paths

There are five paths forward for me.

  • Khan + Lots + EoG
  • Khan + Lots + Cognitive Enhancement
  • Primal + EoG + Lots
  • SB + Primal + Lots
  • SB + EoG + Lots

Stark Black main, Primal main, Khan main.

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#321

Without judging the efficacy of ST2 for sales at all, I’d like to suggest looking at RICH, HOM, or True Sell for sales. Stark Black as well.

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#322

SB is always in my thoughts…it haunts the very steps I take.

#323

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Washout Day 1 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - 3/18/2025

Hmm. Well shit.

Some results from EoG ST2 have started coming through, but it’s pretty much been all energetic shifts, letting go of things, and skill development. Primarily the social media scripting is kicking in on the mental plane, which I find pretty cool.

On the side of internals and mindset, I feel a lot more grounded around money and about money. It no longer feels like some mythical substance out of my reach, however these results also highlight a pattern that has led me to ruin more than once.

Running a sub for a particular result, getting other results that I wasn’t worried about, then sub hopping…It’s happened to me more than once and it’s actually what I’ve just recovered from. Last cycle I ran QL ST1 on impulse hoping to get a quick boost in mental performance for school, instead I got pretty heavy recon. It’s always clear in retrospect how misguided these sub hops are, but that doesn’t change the fact that I keep doing it and it keeps stalling my results.

For some reason, I tend to get the auxiliary effect of a subliminal first before getting the primary effects. This isn’t 100% the case. The three examples that come to mind are:

Emperor, Wanted Black, Khan ST1. With each of these subliminals, I got the main results I was seeking first and foremost, and all the other things came as a happy surprise. On WB, the first run, I manifested a harem right away, within the first cycle. The fame like aura, the kindness from others, the fun and party effects, those all came secondary.

With Khan ST1 my subconcious set to work clearing out my main issues that I had that led to running it first, and THEN other things started to execute. Actually, I suppose Limitless has this effect too. I got the results I was seeking first, and then other things started to come through. I was simply doing better in school first and foremost and other effects like being able to read people clearly started to develop later.

If you look at the objective list, my subconscious commonly gives other results before it gives the main results that I’m seeking. For example, I’m running EoG ST2 to make money from my business, but the clearest result that’s come through has been an internal shift with social media and using it for other projects that I would like to pursue.

So what’s the pattern here? It seems like such a small thing to worry about, however it’s actually kinda a big thing to me. These patterns of confusion lead me to sub hop, lead me to dissatisfaction, and ultimately, the lead me into self-sabotaging behaviors.

Broken Record

I feel like a broken record a little bit, but hey, we gotta process it one way or another…

I do feel better, I feel changed for the better. But I ask myself, where is the money? Where’s my money.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

In Other News

In other news, Electrical Engineering.

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#324

Back to tracking calories. I stopped for years because I had eating disorders as a kid. Now I’m back too it because those demons have been laid to rest. It’s a good tool.

Used properly, it builds self awareness and satisfaction.

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#325

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Washout Day 3 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - 3/21/2025

Some shifts in my inner world. Back to working out full time. Some insights. Some social drama clearing for others.

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#326

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Washout Day 5 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - 3/22/2025

Hmm.

#327

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Washout Day 5 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - 3/22/2025

Something I haven’t discussed recently is that a lot of my time recently has been spent trying to prove my point and playing the “I told you so” game. It’s clearly something to work on. You know…if my energy was right, people would just listen to me, and if they didn’t why should I fight so hard to change peoples minds?

Well, I’m doing a disservice to myself, I know why I’ve been fighting to change minds and it’s all good and it all makes sense why I’ve been trying to change certain people’s minds on certain things.

Regardless, there is something there that I’ve spent most of today trying to investigate within myself.

Today has been a bit strange.

I’ve also realized that I can’t stand on the sidelines anymore…This seemed to be related to the above. I can’t stand on the sidelines of my own life. I can’t just let things “play out.”

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#328

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Washout Day 6 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - 3/23/2025

Clearing recon faster, instead of trying to avoid it.

#329

Cycle 1 of 4 (or more) - Washout Day 7 - Primal, Lots, New EoG ST2 - 3/24/2025

Still deciding and washing out. Still caught between Stark Black and Khan main. I gotta pick a stack and stick to it like glue so I can break through to the next level.

Stark Black could be the most directly applicable to my goals right now. Khan will lead to more development in the future over the long run.

Either should be fine.

The bigger thing is that I want to reconnect with a vision I had at the beginning of the year and see it through to completion.

I want the stack that will bring my vision to life.

Was playing around with GPT today, and man, do I absolutely hate some of the things I’m seeing in the world. AI influencers making 10k a month. Good lord, to be honest, I feel like it’s not entirely just me. I just feel like I’m seeing things in the world that I really don’t like.

Oh, the price of progress, I guess. Who would have thought that the real threat of AI in the short term would be the weaponization of humanities base instincts against itself.

Technology is in many ways the ultimate reflection of man’s shadow back upon himself.