Actions have consequences. It applies to everyone.
Daughter’s Incarnation Cross is about pushing limits, and mine is about setting boundaries. It’s tiring.
I don’t mind reading opposing viewpoints, however please offer something of substance instead of a dismissive “kids being kids”, or post your own thoughts in your own journal.
okay sure
I’m up, chilling.
I saw what you had written before editing it out.
I don’t keep her from her boyfriend. She’s 21.
She lies to my wife and I because she doesn’t want any interference with her plans. Any person that might give negative feedback is avoided or not informed.
Young Man’s parents have known for a while about this “plan”, while we had to find out via the rumor mill. Marriage is the (main) issue on the table here, and that’s a big deal.
3/1/26
Still up. Decided I’m ending the washout a day early, as there is a discussion with Daughter and Young Man tomorrow, and I don’t want to be in afternoon subliminal processing while that’s going on.
March Stack is
Name Embed Main Title Wanted:Dream Boy /w BDLM core. —BD:DB
Let’s Row v2 custom (Spartan/EmpFitSt2)
DR: Regeneration- Debated on this, decided I wanted it for another month.
Once a week:
Name Embed Main Title Terminus Ascension Chamber /w New Results Enhancing Experience Core
(Epic Ascension Chamber!)
AuraBoost Custom (as desired) (New Auric Experience Core + Modules)
Nothing new really, so starting with 3 minutes of each
BD:DB
Let’sROW
DR:REGEN
Epic Ascension Chamber
added bonus of Deep Sleep being in Let’sROW, and that is welcome at the moment.
Am sure the DB custom will help with your current circumstances. I found it helpful to stay chill during stressful days. Cheers!
Good luck with that tough conversation. No matter how it unfolds, I hope your daughter recognizes how much love her parents have for her.
Few things are more important than family in life, so ideally she considers these decisions fully.
The conversation between Wife, myself, Daughter, and Young Man took place tonight. Some notes, out of order chronologically.
YM attempted to take all responsibility for how things went down. Placed heavy emphasis on the amount of prayer that took place. Daughter stayed mostly quiet.
I asked about their timeline. Engaged soon, married before the year is out. YM has purchased a ring.
Counter timeline was proposed by Wife. Engaged after a year, married after 6 months engagement. Consequences for ignoring counter timeline proposal were laid out by myself. Complete withdrawal of support, contact and involvement. YM asked Wife if she supported said consequences; Wife said yes. Daughter and YM didn’t expect that.
Emphasis was placed on the carrying on with the late night behavior.
I stressed clear direct answers for once (largely successful for the conversation as a whole). Still akin to pulling teeth with Daughter to admit anything, as again, the whole marriage plan was YM’s to start with! (Still don’t believe that one).
Admitted I moved from my hardline position on what I thought needed to take place for a blessing in deference to my wife’s feelings on the matter.
Pointed out that while claiming that she’s “forgiven” after her religious experience in the fall, she needs to be following the tenets of her faith in order to receive the benefits, and there were a few commandments she was ignoring out of convenience. YM was mentioning how much they prayed about this shit, nearly every other sentence. I finally told him enough. Said I questioned his parent’s judgement for their support of him in this endeavor.
sigh
The honest answer is my life will be far less stressful if they just ignore my wife and I and steam ahead with their plans. It is sad but it is true. I am not certain, but I think they are leaning towards ignoring us, despite whatever “prayer” tells them.
Young Man: I’ve been praying about it, and I feel called to marriage with Daughter. I feel it’s God’s plan.
PizzaShaman: So how you’ve handled it was God’s plan. I guess this “meeting” tonight is God’s plan too!
3/5/26
Aiming to do some updates here today later on. I don’t have too much going on after work, aside from picking up curry and getting my row in. Apologies to my rowing fans, if you exist- I did get a 5k in after work on Tuesday, and aiming for the same today.
Had a follow up conversation with YoungMan and Daughter last night. The matter is settled.
Old Friend still in his Dark Night of the Soul.
Realizations and results gained from DR:Regen.
Recognition of Hero:Earth influence at work.
After work row today:
Yesterday’s listening:
7 min DR:REGEN
7 min BD:DB
7 min Let’sROWv2
3 min AuraBoost
Getting back to my M-W-F listening schedule
Going to bed the night of the first Daughter-YM marriage, I had the knowledge that all the pizza sauce stuff I’ve been doing at work is a result of Hero:The Light that Blinds Stage One- Earth.
Over the past couple months I’ve been experimenting more with crafted sauces for pizza, like getting down with making spicy sauces. Not trying to give away trade secrets here, but chili crisp mixed in with that just right barbecue sauce? 
<-supposed to be “chef’s kiss”
Also whipped up a…think I called it Upside Down Hawaiian, because “Reverse Hawaiian” sounds like a sex move. Crushed pineapple for the sauce, with ham and cheese, with pizza sauce drizzled on top after the cut.
I’ve got a few in my pocket now. Feels good.
Also noticed that I move quicker from concept to test product. What might have taken months before has turned into …less than 2 days now, from initial idea to test run.
I’ve been trying out more new pizzas recently too. Lots of test pies, looking for feedback from the students. Some of them feel very special that I ask them to try out a new pizza.
I’ve to come to accept muh autism. Some might read that and say “Duh, what else are you going to do?” It was hard prior to starting DR:R. I felt cheated and lied to regarding my youth and setup for life. Told I was gifted, but with not being fucking spastic nonverbal autistic my stuff was missed and labeled bipolar, like my dad. Can’t change anything, and I’ve largely learned to cope without having a clue up til roughly a year ago.
Realized that a lot of the way I was treated by others growing up was due to the 'tism. I didn’t know at the time, and neither did anyone else. Let go of all that K-12 school trauma bullshit and whatnot. I’m at a state of peace with it now.
I’ve noticed I’m seeking the lowest stress solutions now for my wife when stuff pops up. Normally it would be the most energy efficient solution that would present itself to me. Now peace is king.
Oh. The music! That was a fun realization.
I noticed back last summer, during my time with E:AoW, my internal soundtrack had changed. I’m the kind of guy that always has a song playing in his head. (Right this moment it’s Gorillaz “Feel Good”)
While running AoW, it changed to some Imperial themes from Final Fantasy 6 (or 3! if you remember the SNES!). Sometimes it would be the Figaro Castle theme, other times it would be the background music from the Empire. Out of the blue sound injections into muh brain that kept up while I was running that sub.
Now, when I started DR:R, my internal soundtrack changed to
ChronoTrigger
and two tracks in particular inspire a big feature of the sub, so
Welcome to PizzaShaman’s Inner Spa:
Listening to these inspire the same sort of “Safe in my room” feeling I suppose I had while playing the game back in high school.
Yeah dude is still going through it. Not sure if he’s ready for my advice; the event is still less than a week old. His ex(?) apparently wants both of them to do self work and has stated she isn’t sure if she’ll want a relationship with him when they both “heal” or get their work done.
He doesn’t like that at all, which I can appreciate, but she’s right.
I feel a bit of guilt for not reaching out yet today, but I am still mulling over a response to him not wanting to end up as friends, which is the relationship status being offered to him at the moment.
I sometimes have trouble weaving kindness into my honest response.
YM reached out last night to my wife and asked for another conversation between all of us regarding the future.
Wife and I tried to gameplan prior to when we would be meeting, but ended up in an argument. She doesn’t like how I speak sometimes when I’m handling things, how I’m harsh and that threatening to cut off contact with my daughter is withholding love.
I dislike how she’s ready to ignore being treated poorly, that not enforcing boundaries encourages disrespect, and I’m beyond tired of that shit from my oldest.
We both agreed that YM trying to take all responsibility was bullshit, and the invocation of “prayer” (I considered a cop out) needed to be explained better.
They got here and did their asking. Wondering if we would move the goalposts again at a future date. (Now we want you to wait LONGER to get married) Incorrect, YM. I say what I mean, and mean what I say, and you’d know this if you’d been around longer than you have thus far.
Wondering if acceptance of the Springtime wedding would allow them to get engaged sooner and just have a longer engagement.
I shot that down on a few levels, but politely.
If you are doing “Christian” dating, and have a wedding date in mind, like end of May 2027 for example, there is no difference between getting engaged tomorrow and getting engaged in November 2026. There are no new “benefits” granted from getting engaged. No physical boundaries are being moved or removed with engagement.
The rebuttal was- What is gained by delaying the engagement then? Glad you asked! Gives you time to experience each other without the neurochems and hormones influencing your judgement. Told him that while it may sound crazy and asinine now, YM could well wake up one day when the novelty wears off and wonder WTF he’s doing with my Daughter. Likewise for Daughter! Also pointed out that this new relationship could easily be influenced by the ADHD they both have.
Pointed out that this had been mishandled thus far and I’ve already moved quite a bit from my original position, and I was unwilling to compromise further. I am the Mountain that withstands the Flood.
When mentioning the additional time until the nuptials, I offered to YM that the additional time will allow for addition practice of discipline, which is sorely needed among men these days. Hard to argue that.
Running out of recounting steam. They agreed to our timetable. Turns out my harshness in our previous conversation outlining consequences was the ultimate determining factor. That felt good after the pre-discussion argument with Wife. May have done a victory lap with that fact.
Still uncertain how to proceed with his parents. I still feel some anger there.
Old game sound tracks had a particular digital charm. Listening to those videos you posted reminded me of my childhood too. Not because I have played the game that you had but was remembering some of the music from the PC games I used to play once upon a time.
The action taking has continued. Only missed 1 day thus far. Start date of action was 2/23. Plan is to continue as is for as long as I can sustain, but I believe I’ve figured out how to work it in my schedule with minimal disruption.
Received Best BJ of muh life last night! Had to record it. Suction like a drive thru banking transfer tube!
Basement thoughts:
The thought occurs from time to time that I could benefit from Limitless: Polyglot and/or its associated Essence module. Like it might fix/help that communication part of muh brain that the 'tism affects.
It is my autistic pattern recognition that makes my subliminal use so much fun. It is very easy to spot what is new and what sub is …helping it along. Changing subs changes information in your field, changing what you attract, changing focus; changing tracks.
I don’t hate the way I am. I have yet to figure out how to leverage the way I am to my maximum benefit.
3/10/26
1 of 3 for the week!
Yesterday’s listening was
7 min each DR:REGEN, BD:DB, Let’sRowV2, and 15 minutes of Epic Ascension Chamber
Had a social media promo to film today for work so I wanted yesterday’s listening to be a bit lighter.
Basement thoughts:
She’s done it again. Same bullshit pulled in the same manner, two weeks apart. Last night it was dropping the plan for an apartment on a newly formed group chat I was made part of, and then Young Man doing all the talking after that. He took an extremely condescending and disrespectful tone with Wife and I, enabled to do so due to the use of the group chat, for that shit would NOT fly in person.
Saying the reason his parents are informed of the plans and we are not is due to the fact that they reach out, and we don’t. No mention of dodging Wife yesterday and not sharing the plans. What, we have to ask specific questions now to get an answer?
I hate getting this shit at work too. I just got word from my sister (while I was at work) this past Tuesday that my brother (who’s almost 42) appears to have cancer and kidney disease. Gah!
I vented on a student last night, after I found this new group chat I’d been added to and I read that nonsense. It was nothing inappropriate, just this personal bullshit, which feels inappropriate to me. It’s like emotion surges and I have to do something, but there is nothing to do so I can only speak about it, which is worth little. I suppose that if the “vent” is the worst of my anger spillover I have made tremendous progress.
All the aforementioned consequences and what not are back on the table. I will have to find a way to deal with YM and his one parent at my work. Wife will have to find a way to navigate her church activities with Daughter and YM’s other parent being involved there.
Daughter is to be moved out by the end of the month. YM is not welcome here. None of this needed to happen this way.
