7/18/25
3 min NE LB
5 min Mountain
5 min Alch 4
3 min RotNW
7/21/25
5 min each
Alch 4
Mountain
AoW
15 min Gen2.1
First time for a full loop of that. Felt smooth
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7/23/25
15 min Alch 4
10 min Mountain
5 min AoW
Gotta say, that loop of Gen2.1 the other day was smoooooth, like freshly shaven skin. Slipped right in like Auraboost does. Enjoyable!
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8/1/25
Day 1
I have made the decision to take a T break of some duration. My usage has gotten quite heavy, especially over my vacations this summer. It has been 3 years since the last break of any length, and it’s time to revisit.
Wife has been notified. She did not respond poorly, as she has in the past when I’ve brought it up. I’ve used cannabis to …hmmm. Keep myself small? Keep my energy down and less sensitive? Certainly it has been used to manage my autistic tendencies. Something like that. I think of it like forkroot in Wheel of Time.
Last time I took a break I started drinking alcohol as a means to cope. Imported Trappist monk brewed beer! Tasty stuff, but I personally don’t do well under the influence of alcohol. Bad tendency to run my mouth! I have found out that my autism can’t handle drinking well, and I gotta respect that.
This time though, things are a bit different! I have awareness of the alcohol usage, so I can avoid that. I have a rower and desire to use it; so excess energy should be able to get burnt up now. I also have top shelf subliminal support within easy reach. Whatever scripting I think I need: put it in a custom!
I keep an offline journal; well more a listening record than journal but I have been making more notes in there than in here. Started it in April 2024. Top of the page is a custom idea: Love Bomb and ((new)lol)
Sanguine. I think it’s an excellent time for that to come forth from idea land and make it’s way into reality. LB certainly helps me out at work, and Sanguine would be beneficial during this time period as well. Eventide is going in there! My work place has been cracking down on minor (imo) missteps and I wish to avoid any conversational errors with coworkers or customers. I’ve done fine so far, but I like insurance.
I will certainly have more time to journal, and it’s important that I do so. It’s hard to get past the “need” to not be perceived. Example: I don’t want to be typing around my wife because I don’t want her to read anything I’ve put down and start offering her opinion on it. Not getting the stuff out is a hindrance to me however.
2 Likes
Shaman’s log - Supplemental!
Go figure that the first day of my break I have a bad interaction at work!
We have a new supervisor. His vibe is bad, he’s a close talker with halitosis, and he thinks he knows better than everyone else. Today he rolled up on me (by roll up I mean speed walk in and stopped a foot/and a half from me) to tell me that I would be getting prepped pizza from the sales point downstairs and having to serve it on my line. Dude gets one word answers from me, but I agreed to it. Later I find out it’s not plain pizza like I was serving at dinner, it’s some specialty stuff that I would need signage for. A big pain in the ass on my end during the dinner service. In encountering the dude later, I said he should be mindful of the amount of prep he’s doing in the future, as I don’t normally take prepped food from the downstairs sales point. (Actually, not once in my 6 years there.) It was going to disrupt my routine for the dinner service.
Dude was present with another coworker from downstairs at that time. Dude stops the elevator door from closing and tells me we will speak on this later. I ask why? I get told that he’s “my supervisor and I WILL respect him.” I was flabbergasted!
And I was feeling upset over how he was talking to me. I fucking hate that shit. I would have rather settled it outside. It felt like he wanted me to submit, but nah bruh. Not fucking happening. Respect is earned by deeds and time, not simply assuming a title. So, I handled things the only way I could. I went and spoke to my real supervisor about the poor interaction I had with this dude. I know that he had a couple of the bosses speak to him this evening regarding my interaction with him today and the others that happened today as well. I am thankful that I was not the only one to have had poor interactions with him today.
He wouldn’t meet my gaze for the rest of the shift.
Right after the row this morning:
15 seconds NE LB
15 seconds Sanguine
Normally after a day like this, I would have fired up a joint and be feeling fine right now. Instead, I’m doing some red light therapy on the nether region and I plan on some HemiSync later. Hopefully some Focus 10 will help me relax. I don’t want to have to row both before and after work to be sane.
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8/4/25
MorningTime! Start of Day 4.
I wish I knew why now is the time for this t break.
deep sigh
The worst aspect of this, imo, is the disruption of my normal sleep. I woke up an hour ago to take a piss and just laid there in bed, unable to fall back asleep. While I do have to be into work early today (all this week in fact, fml) I don’t see the need to be waking up at 4 am having gone to bed around 10.
Dreams have already started again. Night before last was some sort of college dream; can’t recall if I was working there or a student here. The only thing I clearly remember is a hallway ending in a door, which led to a room full of chairs that had been just tossed in there. I know there was more to it, I just can’t recall. I was just dreaming a few hours ago. I don’t remember shit tonight, only that I was active in my dream.
I had asked my subc last night for a stack to get me through. Right before I went to bed, it delivered:
Love Bomb and AoW together
QL1 and Paragon together
The Revelation of Dreams
That would certainly work for what I got going on at the moment. LB and AoW would handle some of my autistic expressions and keep stuff mostly chill at work and home, QL1 and Paragon for more rapid recovery from THC usage, and RoD for the sleep/dream aspect of things. What holds me back from adopting it is that this rough patch is only of a short duration. I want more time with Earth and Alchemist stage 4.
On the other hand, I’m feeling hesitant to keep going with Alch 4. I felt a big jump in energetic sensitivity upon completing my first full 15 min loop. Shit was nuts. Going to church yesterday was nigh unbearable. I dislike feeling the crowd, and the congregation’s response to my wife leading worship was overwhelming. Sitting there rubbing my palms on my knees, feeling like a stimming retard (that I am) in the middle of the service. I know that is a combination of the T break and the scripting from Alchemist (the increased sensitivity!) but I am not quite certain how to address it. I do know I would benefit from getting the Empath module back in somewhere; that would help a lot.
An intuit: The real Mountain would be pairing Earth with Water in one. Thanks, subc!
Also, my hot water heater is busted again. No hot water since Saturday, when it was scalding. The plumber is coming out today and I’m hoping I will be home from work for that. Looks like a cold shower and shave this morning though.
30 seconds AoW
15 sec each NE LB, Mountain
30 seconds Alch 4
Very short times, I know. Leaning towards picking up RoD today after work.
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Shaman’s log - Supplemental
lololol gets me every time.
The Revelation of Dreams has been acquired! Hitting up 45 seconds and gunna see what happens tonight! WOOOOO
Yes, I listened this morning. I am responsible for my own actions and the consequences thereof.
6:30 pm listening time. I’m curious how long before dream information presents itself to me, hence the time record. Sometimes I’m getting new information within 15 minutes of listening.
Hot water has been restored!
Edit:
1 Like
8/5/25
MorningTime! Start of Day 5.
Last night could have been better, I suppose. Wife got the urge to clean the bathroom at 8pm or some such. Around 9pm, I took out the trash and recycling and gave myself a welt on the head when the trash can lid slipped and dropped. I came back inside and wife was calling for help- the shower handle had come off completely and needed to get reattached.
Damn hard water in this fucking town. I was unable to get this tiny …I’m not sure. Allen wrench into hex bolt, right? Tiny little bolt caked in lime and calcium and just stripped when I tried to turn it. I got pissed, not at my wife necessarily, just at circumstances. She took it personally.
I did ask my chatbot about the increase in anger lately
Ceasing heavy THC use can trigger feelings of anger due to a combination of neurochemical withdrawal, emotional recalibration, and disrupted coping mechanisms. Here’s a breakdown of why this happens:
Neurochemical Withdrawal
- THC overstimulates CB1 receptors, which modulate mood, stress response, and emotional regulation.
- When THC is removed, your endocannabinoid system enters a deficit state—CB1 receptors are downregulated, and natural endocannabinoids (like anandamide) are temporarily insufficient.
- This leads to irritability, aggression, and mood swings, which are hallmark symptoms of cannabis withdrawal.
Emotional Rebound
- THC often acts as an emotional buffer, dulling anxiety, frustration, and overstimulation.
- Without it, repressed or blunted emotions resurface, sometimes with unexpected intensity.
- Anger may emerge as a primary outlet for discomfort, especially if deeper emotions (like sadness or fear) are harder to access or process.
Disrupted Coping Mechanisms
- Many users rely on THC to manage stress, sensory overload, or social anxiety.
- When that tool is removed, the nervous system lacks its usual calming input, leading to reactivity and emotional volatility.
- This is especially pronounced in individuals with neurodivergent traits (e.g., autism), where THC may have masked or softened certain sensitivities.
Timeline of Anger During Withdrawal
| Time Since Last Use | Emotional Profile |
|---|---|
| 1–3 days | Irritability, restlessness, agitation |
| 3–7 days | Peak anger, mood swings, frustration |
| 1–3 weeks | Gradual emotional stabilization |
| 3–5 weeks | Return to baseline emotional regulation |
Strategies to Manage Anger During THC Withdrawal
- Exercise (like rowing) to release pent-up energy and boost endocannabinoid tone
- Hemi-Sync or meditation to regulate emotional centers and reduce reactivity
- Journaling to track emotional triggers and patterns
- Cold exposure or breathwork to reset the nervous system and reduce sympathetic overdrive
- Support groups or therapy to process underlying emotional content safely
Anger during THC withdrawal isn’t a regression—it’s a recalibration. It signals that your emotional system is waking up and reasserting itself. With the right tools, this phase can lead to deeper emotional clarity, stronger boundaries, and a more authentic energetic expression.
The sleep last night was better, only waking up once. Hmm. Perhaps that is another question for the chatbot (or maybe just Google): Why do nocturnal erections wake me up?
No dreams that I can recall today, and that’s fine. I did manage to sleep until my alarm went off. Only three more days of this morning schedule at work and then my routine will return to …95% of normal, and I look forward to that.
I noticed that I was more open to conversation than normal with coworkers yesterday. I have a couple work friends I talk to, yeah, but I found myself speaking with people that I normally don’t.
This has continued!
PizzaShaman: 1
NewDude: 0
I had asked my wife about having a dinner date tonight, yesterday, before all the dumb bullshit. Here’s hoping it still happens. I do need to run to local hardware store and get new shower stuff and install that after work. I will need to meditate at some point today. Or Row. Both would be best.
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EveningTime!
What is it?
“Don’t accept criticism from someone whom you wouldn’t ask for advice.”
A nice piece of insulation.
More mood swings today. Somewhat worse. Thankfully I know the source, although that knowledge is not helping as much as it would have in the past. It used to be that as soon as I figured out the source of why I was feeling how I was, the mood or feeling would dissipate. Not currently!
Spoke to Chef today. I thanked him for a plumber recommendation he gave me a couple years ago, as that information is still paying dividends. I also apologized for an incident with him earlier in the year, as I had a(n autistic) meltdown in his office and harshly criticized him for being kind. Once I recognized the 'tism within, I realized what had happened in there. It took some learning on my behalf to understand that the ability to treat pretty much everyone with a good degree of kindness comes from a position of great strength, and I had been wrong in my estimation of him. Hmmm. I feel a bit emotional in reading that. Damn withdrawal mood swings. He was both surprised and appreciative of my words today, and I was glad that little talk went well.
Dinner date with my wife tonight. Things with her have been more difficult than I like past couple days. It is an irritation that our moods affect one another so much. I feel as though I can’t even feel frustration around her without her picking up that vibe. She feels that she has to walk on eggshells around me, not knowing what will make me mad. I don’t think it’s that bad; there hasn’t been any yelling. I may get a harsh tone in my voice but that’s it.
We discussed work issues and some family stuff over a flatbread appetizer and a couple salads. I learned my mother in law is now aware of the neurodivergence within my family, and agrees with our suspicions, even with the lack of doctor confirmation. I suppose my decision to not drop a grand on the official diagnosis was wise enough for the time being.
The drive home was a convo about her belief in her salvation (Christian) and her worries for the rest of the family. I believe differently; that divide will always be there.
Just about time for bed. Here’s hoping for good, uninterrupted sleep this evening!
8/6/25
MorningTime! Start of Day 6.
Didn’t sleep well. I think my wife is in some stage of menopause, as she was sleeping hot last night, tossing and turning quite a bit. I went down to the couch around 3 am to try to get some better sleep with poor results. At least (hopefully) I will be tired enough tonight!
5 min Alch 4
3 min AoW
45 seconds LB, RotNW, RoD
Nothing major in my day ahead, as far as I know. Last day of the J-1’s at work, thank goodness. Before departing yesterday, one of them told me he loved my pizza and will miss it, both at his next temporary residence and when he gets back home to Kazakhstan! The lion’s share of them were not great guests however, and we will see a vast drop in wasted product this week.
Daughter #2 is starting her T break today, so there is the potential for increased agitation in my household. I’m hoping we have minimal clashing; I will have to watch my reactivity to any of her bullshit especially with my son. She can be quite the shit starter!
I have a dog walk with my wife and Dollar scheduled for after work. That should be easy enough.
8/7/25
MorningTime! Start of Day 7.
The start of my last early day for a while, thank goodness! Just have to get through work today, which shouldn’t be difficult. We have to move all our refrigerated food to the central cooler today due to some power outage repair that is taking place. Luckily, I’ve been keep my station fairly lean on supplies these last few weeks of summer, and I don’t have much. It wouldn’t matter really if I did, true, since there is plenty of time in the shift today to get that done. The possibility of getting out early exists, however, and I do want to be ready to pounce on that.
Work yesterday…was interesting. Most of our leads (a “supervisory” position in our department in theory, a more “responsible” position in practice) were off yesterday, either sickness or scheduled. Only the female leads were at work yesterday, and I was the only male cook present. Those missing energies were readily apparent in how the crew interacted amongst themselves.
There seems to be increased friction amongst my female coworkers when certain men aren’t around! I was getting ‘complaints’ about a female lead from some of my female coworkers.
“I don’t feel seen”
“She doesn’t hear me at all”
“She said (this or that) and I was upset”
I did my best to help with advice. The ladies with grievances do have ‘spectrum tendencies’ and I think a large portion of the problems were due to misunderstandings in communication. I don’t have a problem with this particular female lead personally; she leaves me alone to make pizza and doesn’t try to mess with my work station so we are good.
I will say that the feeling of “holding court” in my corner was there in spades yesterday. Name Embedded Love Bomb with King’s Radiance is an excellent combination, imo.
I am certain one coworker will be looking to talk today. She finally asked out her crush, but was politely declined. I (and others!) had been providing encouragement for her action; this crush had been going on for about a year now. Between you and me, I do feel she fumbled her approach. She was wanting to ask her (both coworker and crush are lesbian) out on a date via text message. I thought that asking her to do “something” via text would be fine, but looking for a “date” outing should be done in person. Coworker went with her original plan, sending me a message that she had done it last night.
When I woke this morning, I saw that it didn’t go how she wanted. Coworker will be feeling down today, I’m sure.
Home was vastly improved yesterday. Even though my wife and I had slept like complete shit the night before, we were both in better moods. I found out when I got home from work that my son, who has been on a fasting program this summer, is down 18 pounds. Fuck yeah!
My son had found an Indian restaurant he wanted to try out some weeks ago. It’s nearly an hour drive, so I told him that once he cracks a milestone on his weight loss, we’ll take a trip there. He’s got 2 pounds to go! If that motivates him or helps his discipline, so be it.
Wife and I went to bed early last night and reconnected. I was able to sleep for 7 hours without waking up once. Yeah man!
8/8/25
Midday of Day 8!
This day’s listening was adjusted due to more tooth bullshit. I am very thankful that I find that Paragon is so effective in managing such pain. Imma give a call to the dentist in a bit; while this cavity is talking to me a bit, I don’t feel in the headspace to try to get a visit in today. Monday would work however! While I dislike that aspect of myself, I’m going to work with it.
I also just ordered a NE Paragon /w Epigenetics and DNA Modulator module. I consider that to be a sound investment for my future health and well being. Should be even more effective than the store title.
Yeah man!
That’s about all I got for now. Mood is pretty good today, liking that. Energy level seems decent even with getting a quickie in after work yesterday. I may make some homemade chicken nuggets later on. nomnom
Oh, the listening:
3 min Paragon
15 min Alchemist 4
2 min NE LB
5 min Gen2.1
8/9/25
MorningTime! Day 9
I was up at a decent time this morning, I suppose. Not too early for a day off, but not too late either. Wife and I took our son out to breakfast. I feel kinda sluggish now, but I think that is due to nomnoming it so early in comparison to every other day. The restaurant had kinda weak coffee too, compared to what I make at home.
Today’s agenda is fairly light. My son is entering a vo-tech program this coming school year, and needs some work pants and boots, so we’ll be picking that stuff up today. Dollar has a nail clip appointment later on. I’m hoping that I will get a notification to take him in early, as it’s not til eveningtime.
I need to take the time to create a daily and weekly checklist of tasks to accomplish in order to meet my goals for this t break. I know it takes consistent effort and progress, day in and day out, to make any sort of headway to something worthwhile.
I did get a hold of the dentist’s office yesterday. While Monday was too soon for them, they were able to get me in 2 weeks earlier then previously scheduled. I’ll take it. No real mouth pain today, save some gum irritation after brushing around that tooth following breakfast.
Little bit of brain fog today. 
Nothing I can’t handle; likely due to my listening decision yesterday to have 4 titles in there versus 3, with the listening times for each what they were. Had I kept everything under a minute, I would not have such a feeling today. NBD! Like I read years ago in the Wheel of Time: Do what you want, and pay the price.
It is pointless to wish things were different, but none the less, I wish I was able to communicate better and had better understanding. I dislike taking things literally. It seems to be a limitation of mine, and I feel I have missed out on a lot in life due to how I am.
I know it could be worse. Many autistic peeps can’t hold a job, or keep a relationship, and I have both. I have lots of people look to me for advice, because I am direct, and that is both satisfying and tiresome depending on the person asking. I do wish I had friends, as that has been an issue throughout life.
Meh. I feel a mood swing down. Could be recon, could be from the T-break. Everyone cares how my mood affects them, because my aura is powerful. I don’t think even my wife cares how my moods affect me.
Sadness.
Shaman’s log - Supplemental
Found some interesting books today while out shopping for stuff for my son:
I read the Art of War back in the early high school days. I’ve not read Meditations yet. Hilarious to see them both as I had been contemplating the both of em, well, in my own way. (AoW and GLM)
Picked up a better blender too! Now it’s real easy to make that cottage cheese dessert.
I was just doing more looking about at books, found out that one of my out of print books has gone up in price. Waaay up at one particular vendor. My goodness. Compared to some of the options on that book, I got a wonderful deal on it.
I found purchasing options for another set of out of print books I’ve been interested in as well! I consider that find an Alchemist 4/Gen2.1 manifestation/expression. Now to wait a payday or two to be able to pick them up.
PizzaShaman’s NE Paragon arrived tonight. Gave that 90 seconds a little bit ago. I should sleep good tonight!
8/10/25
EveningTime! Day 10.
Speaking on the T-break quickly, I checked and the last time I tried this was Oct’23. I feel it’s going far better now than it did then, despite having heavier usage. Once I hit Thursday this week I will have the 2nd longest break during my adult life.
Had a line of text jump out at me today, demanding to be copied down elsewhere:
A sword drawn in anger is half-wielded by your opponent.
I have found myself doing a deep dive into the Kolbrin over the past day, specifically the Book of Morals and Precepts. Not sure why. Perhaps it is some Mountain expression and/or Alchemist as well. Either way, it has been enjoyable.
Since I don’t hold the same beliefs as my wife, I presume she believes I have no real basis for what I value and what morals I hold dear as I don’t hold the Bible in exactly the same esteem as she does. ( Our differing beliefs has been a minor topic of discussion between us as of late. ) I was able to get a decent summary of that portion of the Kolbrin put together today so next time it comes up, I can show her what I do value in comparison to her. It’s one of those things that I just resonate with; it’s hard to argue with a feeling you have in your bones.
Wife is doing fairly well. I lead the way, I suppose, as she’s started on a t break herself now. She’s a couple days behind me. She started cleaning up our bedroom last night, as it usually looks like a clothing tsunami hit before slowing draining away. Wife removed four decent sized garbage bags of clothing and donated them this afternoon, and the vibe of the room is different now.
While I was getting Indian food with my son today, the rest of my family was out to lunch with a gentleman from my daughter’s workplace. They both work as servers in an assisted living facility, and this older fellow is a regular in their dining hall. He came to our church today and sat with our family, stayed for my daughter’s presentation during Sunday School, and then joined my wife, daughter’s and #2’s boyfriend for lunch at local family restaurant. Props to the Boyfriend: He excused himself to the restroom and paid for the table’s meal without anyone knowing.
I believe it was Malkuth who wrote down the habit of reading a set number of pages a day to get a book tackled. I’ve got a few books I want to get through, so I am considering exchanging the former morning smoke and red light therapy time to morning reading and red light therapy time. It’s worth a try. I have a couple sections of 4 Hour Body I wish to get through before diving into AoW or Meditations.
Monday I’d like to get another section of my basement cleaned up, so I can move my rower down there. I can get up early, but rowing before sunrise now comes with waking up my wife, as my machine is in our bedroom. This would solve multiple things at once.
While I still felt bad about muh autism today, especially in talks with my son, it was not as bad as yesterday. I’m trying to do the best I can, even knowing now that I will never be normal.
8/11/25
MidAfternoon - Day 11
Currently finishing up the listening log today:
3 min NE Paragon
3 min Mountain
3 min NE LB
10 min Alch 4
I’ve been having some fun with ChatGPT and my ‘special interests’ since I can type about whatever to this thing and I don’t get strange looks. Fucking finally. Is this what having friends is like? We did some diving into Pole Shift theory as it relates to the Kolbrin. Great times!
I fixed the busted toilet seat upstairs and did some running around procuring fruit for my wife. Cat #1 took a human sized dump this morning. I couldn’t believe the size of this thing. Nearly took a picture but then realized I’d be taking a picture of cat shit and that is unnecessary. Cat needs to chill on the food, or maybe I need to get one of them elevated cat feeding bowls.
Back to work tomorrow. We have some students coming back this week, so my work schedule is almost normal. There will be some slow spots throughout the days this week, but I’m going to be off the weekend of the 23rd and 24th, so I will miss the first big rush of the year. On the other hand, due to how the schedule shakes out, I work 9/10ths of all the events and special weekends so I don’t feel bad.
I was having a weird dream last night, doing something on a cruise ship. Still not sure if working or vacationing. I do recall trying to get away from some people. Wife had a cruise ship dream as well. Strange.
While I haven’t had any cannabis since the last day of July, from time to time lately I feel as though I had. It’s likely working its way outta my system. It should be another week or two before I notice the “fog” lift. Then I’ll really be raw dogging life.
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8/12/25
MorningTime! Day 12
Got a row in. Both better and worse than I expected.
I got the 30 minutes in, while aiming to break 7k meters. I missed that mark by a hair, however it is still the first 30 minute row in about 2 months.
I feel a difference in my rowing from my NE Earth I call Mountain. I aim for stronger, slower pulls and I pay much more attention to my form.
That’s it for now. Gotta cool down and clean myself up so I can go make pizza.
8/13/25
MorningTime! Day 13
Getting my listening done now. This morning is not going entirely to plan, but what does?
While embarrassingly rusty, I did complete the Buddhist Qigong this morning. Due to next paragraph, I didn’t get any reading or meditation done. I did get the first chapter/book/portion of Meditations read yesterday morning. Good stuff there. Also, I am not feeling any sort of soreness, which I find odd as I had a longer, more intense rowing workout that usual yesterday. That must be a combo of Paragon and Mountain.
Daughter and Cat #2 are currently at the vet. Kitty needs to have an emergency surgery, as her illness was found to be life threatening, so that’s going to be a $2k bill. Daughter #2 is going to cover it, but that would be coming from her school savings, which I dislike, so wife and I will be paying the lion’s share.
even though I’ve spent the past couple days stating I will not pay thousands for a vet bill
Work was alright yesterday. I misread my schedule and came in a half hour late, but I caught no flak for that. Even better, I was told that I am no longer bound to the menu cycle as far as pizza goes. Used to be there was a weekly specialty pizza so people could look online and see what I was offering aside from the normal lineup. This school year, I can do what I want. Keep a special pie up and the students happy; that seems to be my mandate. Easily done. I do have to submit a list of what kind of pizzas I’ll be making, so they can make me some laminate signage for my station. That’s due tomorrow. I have a list at my station, so sending the Boss Lady an email is the next step there.
- Had an inadvertent face to face run in with new supervisor who demanded respect on my way out the door last night. Nothing really; he was coming in as I was leaving. He shifted his gaze downwards and said “Pardon” quietly before getting out of my way, and I could detect no anger or rancor at all (even with my senses on full alert upon seeing him) What the fuck? lol Aura?
Today’s listening:
3 min NE Paragon
3 min Mountain
3 min NE LB
5 min Alch 4
1.5 min RoD
I’ve been dreaming every night. I remember going through some building with all sorts of hidey holes and secret passages in my dream last night.