And it’s done.
5 Likes
8/31
I did get a row in on Thursday, just didn’t get it uploaded. 5k again. This first week of school has been taxing and busy! Lots of pizza making and sweating in front of that oven. I was hoping to row this morning but I opted for marital relations instead. Still a workout. 
Yesterday I gave myself 30 seconds each of LB, LBFH, and HS.
LBFH is the winner with the students at work. It easily doubles the number of positive interactions I have! It feels great, especially when it happens in front of my bosses and I know they’ve seen it.
On the other hand, new boss at work has the wrong vibe. They are on this weekend shift with me. I don’t feel any pull to interact with this person, so that’s a no for me. Problem is that I will put that into my vibe when they are around. I haven’t yet figured out how to hide or suppress my dislike for certain people, or move past it deliberately. Other coworkers that I’ve stated dislike for, well it’s only been just recently I’ve deigned to speak with them. Most often I’ll just move along, keep my gaze ahead and ignore em. Deny all energetic connections and all interaction save work related questions. A stark contrast to how I am with the customers.
But I trust my gut instinct, and I have a gift for knowing who brings worth to my life. An odd phrase, but something my brain just gave me, and these instinctual knowings have not proven themselves wrong.
I mentioned a marital thing to Gymfather this past Monday, a rumination of mine over curry. He mentioned she should be doing the opposite, so I’ve been reading 1 Corinthians the past few mornings because of his answer.
Not certain what type of result this is, if it is one. I have noticed an increase in understanding of the systems I know, which I was attributing to Alchemist.
End ramble. For now.
2 Likes
Go, go, go! 
2 Likes
9/4
Had some recon yesterday. >.> At work, nonetheless. The listening I did before work was too much apparently. Ended up venting to my boss for 10 minutes on my lunch break. I could have used better words in my conversation with him, but I don’t think I damaged myself too badly. I did feel heaps better afterwards and I was able to eat.
Yesterday aside, while the atmosphere is glum at work, I am doing pretty well. I’ve noticed a big difference in personal interactions with the addition of LBFH to the regular listening schedule. The decision to listen prior to an in law cookout proved extremely beneficial a few days ago.
While early yet, I was able to get my rowing restarted with the discipline scripting of Alchemist as well. I will definitely want Spartan in my stack (for Rowvember) in some fashion starting mid October, but Alchemist is working for now.
A synchronicity last night- While reading an article about the Resolute Desk, in the backstory was a thorough mention of the Lost Franklin Expedition, which I am currently aware of due to “The Terror” show by AMC. Fascinating stuff!
What else lately…Ah. For whatever reason, the internal resistance I had to Chosen has been removed.
30 seconds of Heartsong is enough! Lots of knowledge lately that my wife and I aren’t the best matches for each other. Not like I was unaware; WB gave me that info last year. I may relegate this guy to the bench for a good while. It is effective and brings up items worthy of consideration, I will say that.
3 Likes
9/7
A dreary day here in Pizzaland, USA. Grey and miserable outside with a constant drizzle of rain.
Interesting things cooking though. Yesterday my wife made it a point to talk to me about starting her listening again. I hadn’t been reminding her and she’s about 6-7 weeks out from her regular stack of LB and Sanguine. After some talk regarding her goals and what she’ll actually do (action wise), she’s going with LBfH and Spartan.
I also asked if she’d be interested in listening to Divine Diamond; I offered to listen as well. To my surprise, she said yes!
This should be fun. 
We engaged in deep conversation after our listen last night, which I felt was a direct result of the loop. Relations after the loop were a bit off, kinda. Maybe not. Maybe just different. I didn’t feel the need to boom last night so I didn’t. Likewise this morning, still no urge to ejaculate during sex. Wife seemingly takes some offense to my lack of desire. I am aware that her energy responds to my own, and crashing those energy levels through ejaculation seems wasteful, if another way is possible.
Love Bomb for Humanity is working for me at work. Hard. I’ve noted multiple instances of praise for my jobs on a daily basis from students in front of my superiors. There was one instance where these two young men were going back and forth for a couple minutes ( “PizzaShaman is the GOAT!” “Yeah we can always rely on PizzaShaman to give us something good.” “PizzaShaman you should teach my class instead of Dr. blahblahblah haha!” Etc) while one of my bosses was assisting with pan changeout in my line. The boss felt invisible to the students while I received all the praise. I felt a little bad for that boss, but they don’t know about SubClub. Feels like a cheat code at work.
I’m still pondering the final build for a LB/LBFH custom. I think at this point I would include the New Auric Experience Core as well. I wonder what the limits are with my aura, like how potent or large it can get.
3 Likes
9/10
9/9
There are a few things I should accomplish today. More H20 is required! I fill bottles of more refined water from a local business and today would be a good day to get that done.
I have a visit with Gymfather scheduled too, although I suppose I should reach out and confirm for today. I find it interesting, the dynamic with him. I usually gain a single friend from any given workplace I’ve been at, someone I am willing to keep in touch with after employment has ended. It in interesting in this case as previously I’ve not had anyone openly state they want to hang out on a regular basis, like Gymfather has.
That may change. Ha! Today’s conversation will (likely) be including DnD, and my sudden departure from the group back in May.
I left that previous bit in the draft editor yesterday. My conversation forecast was accurate!
Yesterday’s Listening!
5 min Alch 1
3 min DivD
1.5 min LBFH
5 min Generator
Hmmm. Just did some back counting with regards to Alchemist. I have completed one cycle of stage 1. I want another before moving on to stage 2, but I’m thinking that stage 2 will have to wait for a while. My wife’s willingness to include DivD (and thus mine) was an unexpected adjustment to my plans. I do feel that Alchemist has helped with the retention aspect, unlocking something from my KB listening perhaps.
2 Likes
9/11
I’ve been working on the Rowvember custom this morning. While HeroWork got me through it last year, it is a pretty dense custom and I’m hoping to run something a little bit lighter. I presume that a name embedded store title Spartan would do the trick, but that time is not yet here! I would also like to hit another goal at the same time and do 40 days of semen retention, ending on Nov. 30, and a 30 day qigong cycle. I am uncertain as to which stage of Khan Black to include for this goal. St 4 is lengthy and likely comparable to HERO in that aspect.
NoNutRowvember Subliminal V0.1
Spartan Core!
KBC st 1 - 4 core?? Which Stage?
Inexhaustible
Sps Fat Burn
Synergy: Preordained Vitality
Dopeminergic Revival
Ardent Light
Stop Porn and Masturbation
synergy: Carpe Vitam
Synergy: Breath of the Storms
Synergy: Energetic Transcendence ?
Today’s Listening, brought to me by SubClub:
5 min Alch 1
3 min LB
1.5 min LBFH
5 Likes
9/12
-
Had an enjoyable sexual encounter with the Wife last night! She displayed unusual enthusiasm during the bj portion, and I’ve taken note that since the inclusion of Divine Diamond her head game has gotten markedly better. Thanks Sub Club!
-
Little things popping up, Alchemist related. New angles and perspectives upon review of known information. For me, that means rereading the Kolbrin or looking at my HD transit chart. I should read the Rothschild thread again while I got this scripting going on! Perhaps something new will jump out at me.
Sigh. Gotta row. I’m needing that Carpe Vitam scripting in my life. I should get a support ticket in to find out which stage of Khan Black would be best suited for NNR.
4 Likes
9/13
Friday the 13th!
Duh Duh Duh
But I got lucky this morning!
- Quite a few LBFH encounters at work yesterday. One in particular stands out: I was grabbing a pizza pan off my shelf when the server fell off the pan onto the floor on the other side of my counter. A young lady was walking in my direction and I felt and heard “Love Bomb for Humanity” fire off in my brain as she picked it up and gave it to me, and I knew what had prompted her to do so.
I’m excited at the prospect of LB/LBFH with the New Auric Experience! Actually, toss in Sanguine and I think that’d be a great QTKS candidate for myself.
Come to think of it, wife and I running DivD leading up to NNNovember is not a great idea. Trying to retain while the bloom is going on would be adding a layer of difficulty. I am not yet a “Hero of the Boudoir”. Consideration needs to be given to ceasing that one by end of the month. It could always be revisited come December.
I would like to get TWTP going on, but I get such recon! Plus the interactions at work with coworkers! While I appreciate the knowledge and understanding I get, I am a bit regretful that I didn’t pick it up when it was PCC to see that difference. Perhaps, once Emperor Daddy is done, the new scripting in there could be applied to TWTP to maybe …tone it down? I don’t know. Could just be me.
Time to listen:
3 min Alch 1
1.5 min LBFH
3 Likes
9/14
Spoke to my wife about my plans for November. She’s not thrilled. Wife does not care for my self imposed discipline tests like that, as I am not affectionate during those periods. She stated last night that while my makes pawing motions can be a lot, it’s much preferred to the alternative.
Her objections have been noted. I am still moving forward with the plan.
I will have to adjust my routine a bit. I currently take some supplements that are pretty “Yang” that won’t be beneficial during the time period. Wife calls 'em my “snake oil pills”! Ha! My cistanche! Fadogia Agrestis! My Tongkat Ali and the rest! I will be cutting back down to basic vitamins and minerals, turmeric, schizandra and neem.
I have an event at work today, an open house for prospective students. They and their parents will be coming through my work area, as food options are a cornerstone of the college experience. I’ll have to be “PizzaShaman” (my work …persona) to these new people in hopes of attracting them to the school. I’m not exactly feeling it at the moment.
Maybe a lil hit of Love!
30 secs each of LB and LBFH.
5 Likes
9/17/24
I was looking back through the journal and realized I should start including the year in the date, especially if it’s going to be spanning multiple years.
Did my listening yesterday-
9/16
5 min Alch 1
3 min DivD
30 sec LB
1.5 min BDLM
5 min Generator
Yesterday- Man I was tired all day long. Thankfully it was my day off so I didn’t have to do much.
Today is another grey morning. I feel frustrated this morning, partially due to the weather, some to recon I’m sure, and lack of marital relations since Friday. I’ll row this morning, so that will help some.
Withdrew my ticket on that spartan/kb build. I got the feeling I was trying to make KB2 and that I’d be better served just waiting. Pivoting towards a HeroWork rebuild instead, although it’s not like its terribly dissimilar.
And done. Not my best row, but a completed one.
2 Likes
9/27/24
Listening!
9/20
5 min Alch 1
5 min LBFH
5 min DivD
9/23
3 min Alch 1
30 sec Alch 2
3 min DivD
7.5 min Generator
9/25/24
3 min Alch 1
90 sec Alch 2
3 min LBFH
9/27/24
3 min Alch 1
3 min Alch 2
1.5 min LBFH
Divine Diamond has been extremely good for the marital relationship. Monday will be my last play for some time, but it is definitely going to be revisited in the upcoming year. Wife enjoys it as well-- I’m hoping for a 6 month mutual listen in '25 and see where that takes us.
I feel that there is some synergy between Alch and DivD. Personal knowledge and awareness of my own energy has skyrocketed, and finding the stop point (whilst still in ‘calm waters’) during intercourse is far easier and apparent. I did release last night but after 40 minutes of intercourse I felt it was alright. Had more sex this morning but didn’t release; now I feel energy for my day.
I’m tempted to continue Alchemist through the upcoming self imposed discipline trial! Spartan is really good for that, yes, but Alchemist is hitting different. Leaning towards a Rowvember Custom/Alchemist/Khan Black stack for that at this point.
Gotta wait until next payday for the mentioned custom:
NoNutRowvember Subliminal V0.2
HERO Origins Core
Spartan Core
Synergy: Carpe Vitam *
Synergy: Preordained Vitality *
Stop Porn and Masturbation
Cosmic Navigator
Stonelike
Physicality Shifter - Sexiness
SPS: Fat Burn
Inexhaustible
Stronger
Gentleman’s Speech
DEUS
Ardent Light
Inner Gasoline
Dopeminergic Revival *
Deep Sleep *
*=Modules needed
I’m thinking a new, short term journal will be in order for that. Maybe “40 Days” or some such title. I’ll figure it out soon.
2 Likes
10/2/24
Listening:
9/30/24
3 min Alch 1
3 min Alch 2
6 min Div D
6 min Generator
10/2/24
30 sec each ALCH 1, ALCH 2, TWTP
Yesterday was interesting in the sense that I was in a state for the first half of the day. I felt very muted internally. The only other comparable experience that I could recall would be the day after a Psych-K session, where I knew subc work had been done and I was “rebooting”. I don’t get that too terribly often with subs so it is noteworthy.
Still, I didn’t talk to anyone at work until the state lifted, coworkers or customers alike. Even my energy felt muted, which I found unusual, as it’s been days enough since last release where I should be more charged up. It’s tiresome, feeling this blah.
Emperor Daddy looks interesting, but I don’t know if it’s for me. I’m likely going to pay for the 30 seconds of TWTP today with some recon; who knows what the new one would be like. Also, given my work environment, I don’t know if a Daddy aura would be wise. ( Although, upon some thought, it would be an interesting test of the tech.)
Now I’m considering putting KB in with Spartan for my Rowvember custom. I don’t know why I keep coming back to these retention/discipline challenges for myself. I know it bugs the Wife. I can’t tell you what I think the payoff is, because I don’t know.
From my first entry. Too many years now. Maybe it’s just a matter of finishing what I started.
Back to the custom. I think I can get my goal accomplished with Hero (the virtue scripting really toned down my libido), Spartan and Khan Black. I feel I need Spartan. Hero or Khan Black st 4 are both kinda big, and I want to stay away from riding the limit of input for the duration. Here’s hoping the answer comes to me soon.
2 Likes
10/6/24
My brain tells me…
I type that from time to time; use it in conversation with my wife. About a week ago we were talking and again, I used that phase in conversation with her and I saw her facial reaction to it. 
(yeah she was rolling her eyes!)
I realized I had never explained it. (Interestingly, I feel excited/emotional about typing it out now!)
“Where is Wife?”, I said to her, pointing to my own head as a reference.
*Wife is being used in place of her first name, obviously
She looked at me funny, not knowing what I meant.
“Your consciousness, your awareness if you like that word better. Normally mine, or “Shaman” sits here, middlish of my head, behind and between my eyes.” I tapped the side of my head with my finger. “That position of awareness, that point of consciousness can concentrate or diffuse, and move around within the brain and body.”
I told her to recall her time spent with Hemi Sync and the Gateway Experience as a reference. Wife has a unique ability to recall anything she’s seen, heard or experienced- only if asked. Otherwise the information is largely inaccessible. I knew that this experience of hers would be a prime example of what I was talking about.
“Ok, I get that.” Wife’s eyes widened a bit as she processed that info, then she pointed at her head to signify where she was in there as well.
“So now you’ll have some awareness of the rest of the “space” in your head. Areas that you are not actively occupying with your consciousness, but you could if you wanted to, and sometimes you likely do.” She nodded, and I went on. “Our brains are in that space, and working all the time. We got neurons firing whether we are thinking about something or not, processing all sorts of information.”
I retold this story for my wife then, how Love Bomb for Humanity had sort of appeared in …static Red electric letters in my brain behind my awareness point, in addition to hearing the words at the same time throughout my head (sigh. feels hard to describe well, but important to get correct. the sound was very short, but I understood it completely. Love Bomb for Humanity, but said 10x fast, once). I felt something transmitted, and yeah, I was shown a small kindness right then, that I knew was going to happen.
Wife seemed a smidge more then slightly impressed with the story. My powers grow!
The information that I get in this fashion feels extremely trustworthy and correct. It’s not intrusive when it pops up. It feels more like…an important aide whispering urgent information to the leader/ceo.
1 Like