PizzaShaman’s journal - Ongoing

[PizzaShaman]

9/13

Friday the 13th!
Duh Duh Duh

But I got lucky this morning!

• Quite a few LBFH encounters at work yesterday. One in particular stands out: I was grabbing a pizza pan off my shelf when the server fell off the pan onto the floor on the other side of my counter. A young lady was walking in my direction and I felt and heard “Love Bomb for Humanity” fire off in my brain as she picked it up and gave it to me, and I knew what had prompted her to do so.

I’m excited at the prospect of LB/LBFH with the New Auric Experience! Actually, toss in Sanguine and I think that’d be a great QTKS candidate for myself.

---

Come to think of it, wife and I running DivD leading up to NNNovember is not a great idea. Trying to retain while the bloom is going on would be adding a layer of difficulty. I am not yet a “Hero of the Boudoir”. Consideration needs to be given to ceasing that one by end of the month. It could always be revisited come December.

---

I would like to get TWTP going on, but I get such recon! Plus the interactions at work with coworkers! While I appreciate the knowledge and understanding I get, I am a bit regretful that I didn’t pick it up when it was PCC to see that difference. Perhaps, once Emperor Daddy is done, the new scripting in there could be applied to TWTP to maybe …tone it down? I don’t know. Could just be me.

Time to listen:
3 min Alch 1
1.5 min LBFH

[PizzaShaman]

9/14

Spoke to my wife about my plans for November. She’s not thrilled. Wife does not care for my self imposed discipline tests like that, as I am not affectionate during those periods. She stated last night that while my makes pawing motions can be a lot, it’s much preferred to the alternative.

Her objections have been noted. I am still moving forward with the plan.

I will have to adjust my routine a bit. I currently take some supplements that are pretty “Yang” that won’t be beneficial during the time period. Wife calls 'em my “snake oil pills”! Ha! My cistanche! Fadogia Agrestis! My Tongkat Ali and the rest! I will be cutting back down to basic vitamins and minerals, turmeric, schizandra and neem.

---

I have an event at work today, an open house for prospective students. They and their parents will be coming through my work area, as food options are a cornerstone of the college experience. I’ll have to be “PizzaShaman” (my work …persona) to these new people in hopes of attracting them to the school. I’m not exactly feeling it at the moment.

Maybe a lil hit of Love!

30 secs each of LB and LBFH.

[PizzaShaman]

9/17/24

I was looking back through the journal and realized I should start including the year in the date, especially if it’s going to be spanning multiple years.

Did my listening yesterday-

9/16
5 min Alch 1
3 min DivD
30 sec LB
1.5 min BDLM
5 min Generator

Yesterday- Man I was tired all day long. Thankfully it was my day off so I didn’t have to do much.

Today is another grey morning. I feel frustrated this morning, partially due to the weather, some to recon I’m sure, and lack of marital relations since Friday. I’ll row this morning, so that will help some.

Withdrew my ticket on that spartan/kb build. I got the feeling I was trying to make KB2 and that I’d be better served just waiting. Pivoting towards a HeroWork rebuild instead, although it’s not like its terribly dissimilar.

And done. Not my best row, but a completed one.

[PizzaShaman]

[PizzaShaman]

The discipline scripting in the updated Alchemist is extremely good!

[PizzaShaman]

9/27/24

Listening!

9/20
5 min Alch 1
5 min LBFH
5 min DivD

9/23
3 min Alch 1
30 sec Alch 2
3 min DivD
7.5 min Generator

9/25/24
3 min Alch 1
90 sec Alch 2
3 min LBFH

9/27/24
3 min Alch 1
3 min Alch 2
1.5 min LBFH

---

Divine Diamond has been extremely good for the marital relationship. Monday will be my last play for some time, but it is definitely going to be revisited in the upcoming year. Wife enjoys it as well-- I’m hoping for a 6 month mutual listen in '25 and see where that takes us.

I feel that there is some synergy between Alch and DivD. Personal knowledge and awareness of my own energy has skyrocketed, and finding the stop point (whilst still in ‘calm waters’) during intercourse is far easier and apparent. I did release last night but after 40 minutes of intercourse I felt it was alright. Had more sex this morning but didn’t release; now I feel energy for my day.

I’m tempted to continue Alchemist through the upcoming self imposed discipline trial! Spartan is really good for that, yes, but Alchemist is hitting different. Leaning towards a Rowvember Custom/Alchemist/Khan Black stack for that at this point.

Gotta wait until next payday for the mentioned custom:

NoNutRowvember Subliminal V0.2

HERO Origins Core
Spartan Core
Synergy: Carpe Vitam *
Synergy: Preordained Vitality *
Stop Porn and Masturbation
Cosmic Navigator
Stonelike
Physicality Shifter - Sexiness
SPS: Fat Burn
Inexhaustible
Stronger
Gentleman’s Speech
DEUS
Ardent Light
Inner Gasoline
Dopeminergic Revival *
Deep Sleep *

*=Modules needed

I’m thinking a new, short term journal will be in order for that. Maybe “40 Days” or some such title. I’ll figure it out soon.

[PizzaShaman]

Considering a pivot from HeO to EmpFit for new custom.

[PizzaShaman]

10/2/24

Listening:
9/30/24
3 min Alch 1
3 min Alch 2
6 min Div D
6 min Generator

10/2/24
30 sec each ALCH 1, ALCH 2, TWTP

---

Yesterday was interesting in the sense that I was in a state for the first half of the day. I felt very muted internally. The only other comparable experience that I could recall would be the day after a Psych-K session, where I knew subc work had been done and I was “rebooting”. I don’t get that too terribly often with subs so it is noteworthy.

Still, I didn’t talk to anyone at work until the state lifted, coworkers or customers alike. Even my energy felt muted, which I found unusual, as it’s been days enough since last release where I should be more charged up. It’s tiresome, feeling this blah.

---

Emperor Daddy looks interesting, but I don’t know if it’s for me. I’m likely going to pay for the 30 seconds of TWTP today with some recon; who knows what the new one would be like. Also, given my work environment, I don’t know if a Daddy aura would be wise. ( Although, upon some thought, it would be an interesting test of the tech.)

---

Now I’m considering putting KB in with Spartan for my Rowvember custom. I don’t know why I keep coming back to these retention/discipline challenges for myself. I know it bugs the Wife. I can’t tell you what I think the payoff is, because I don’t know.

@PizzaShaman

I found SC around the beginning of February and wound up ordering a custom in order to assist my goal of 100 days of sexual continence. I don’t know why I have this goal. I have been pulled towards it going on 2 years now, and it’s time to get it done and out of the way so I can move on with my life.

From my first entry. Too many years now. Maybe it’s just a matter of finishing what I started.

Back to the custom. I think I can get my goal accomplished with Hero (the virtue scripting really toned down my libido), Spartan and Khan Black. I feel I need Spartan. Hero or Khan Black st 4 are both kinda big, and I want to stay away from riding the limit of input for the duration. Here’s hoping the answer comes to me soon.

[PizzaShaman]

[PizzaShaman]

10/6/24

My brain tells me…

I type that from time to time; use it in conversation with my wife. About a week ago we were talking and again, I used that phase in conversation with her and I saw her facial reaction to it. (yeah she was rolling her eyes!)

I realized I had never explained it. (Interestingly, I feel excited/emotional about typing it out now!)

“Where is Wife?”, I said to her, pointing to my own head as a reference.

*Wife is being used in place of her first name, obviously

She looked at me funny, not knowing what I meant.

“Your consciousness, your awareness if you like that word better. Normally mine, or “Shaman” sits here, middlish of my head, behind and between my eyes.” I tapped the side of my head with my finger. “That position of awareness, that point of consciousness can concentrate or diffuse, and move around within the brain and body.”

I told her to recall her time spent with Hemi Sync and the Gateway Experience as a reference. Wife has a unique ability to recall anything she’s seen, heard or experienced- only if asked. Otherwise the information is largely inaccessible. I knew that this experience of hers would be a prime example of what I was talking about.

“Ok, I get that.” Wife’s eyes widened a bit as she processed that info, then she pointed at her head to signify where she was in there as well.

“So now you’ll have some awareness of the rest of the “space” in your head. Areas that you are not actively occupying with your consciousness, but you could if you wanted to, and sometimes you likely do.” She nodded, and I went on. “Our brains are in that space, and working all the time. We got neurons firing whether we are thinking about something or not, processing all sorts of information.”

@PizzaShaman

Quite a few LBFH encounters at work yesterday. One in particular stands out: I was grabbing a pizza pan off my shelf when the server fell off the pan onto the floor on the other side of my counter. A young lady was walking in my direction and I felt and heard “Love Bomb for Humanity” fire off in my brain as she picked it up and gave it to me, and I knew what had prompted her to do so.

I retold this story for my wife then, how Love Bomb for Humanity had sort of appeared in …static Red electric letters in my brain behind my awareness point, in addition to hearing the words at the same time throughout my head (sigh. feels hard to describe well, but important to get correct. the sound was very short, but I understood it completely. Love Bomb for Humanity, but said 10x fast, once). I felt something transmitted, and yeah, I was shown a small kindness right then, that I knew was going to happen.

Wife seemed a smidge more then slightly impressed with the story. My powers grow!

---

The information that I get in this fashion feels extremely trustworthy and correct. It’s not intrusive when it pops up. It feels more like…an important aide whispering urgent information to the leader/ceo.

[PizzaShaman]

10/7/24

It is somewhat difficult to choose the subs this morning! I try to set my week up with my Monday plays, as its Generator custom play day. PRom has fucked things up, however. Due to this new information being made available to my wife and myself, we have decided to change our stacks and adjust accordingly.

We had been going back and forth over my planned 40 days of abstinence, something she didn’t care for. In my mind it was/is a goal to be accomplished, a test of discipline and mastery, especially for one such as myself. What a victory, in my mind, to be able to do so after years of self abuse via pornography addiction. Also in my mind is the way to achieve that goal, which is complete cessation of any affectionate behavior, as that is the start of the slippery slope for this guy.

Instead, I offered a different perspective for her: I’m rowing for November, I will need to retain more to accomplish that goal. I will no longer attempt 40 days like that, but I would rather us move towards her being accepting of ending sexytime with no boom more often, as I’m already there. She was agreeable.

So I hope to get to 40 days again, but it will be longer until I get there, and I will have to master control over myself in a deeper fashion, I think, in order to do so.

Ah well. On to some fun stuff!

Rowvember custom was ordered last night.

Let'sRow V1

Spartan Core
EmpFit St 2 Core

Synergy: Carpe Vitam
Synergy: Preordained Vitality
Cosmic Navigator
Stonelike
Physicality Shifter - Sexiness
SPS: Fat Burn
Inexhaustible
Stronger
DEUS
Ardent Light
Inner Gasoline
Dopeminergic Revival
Deep Sleep
Epigenetics and DnA Modulator

Going forwards I want to be more focused and intentional with any custom orders. I’ve learned. I also had been hesitant to place this one order for a while, as it wasn’t sitting right in my head even though logically the changes I had made to the module list made sense. HeroWork had worked, (last year) it just felt real dense at the time.

Having a more focused goal is better too. Cutting out strict semen retention in favor of just the rowing allowed me to settle on a module list that I was happy with. Little bit of lean shifting which should come easy with the rowing, and some (imo) minor libido curbing. Guess we’ll see, literally, as I’ve got to do before/after pics as well.

After Rowvember,

MarriageEnhancement v1.1

Divine Diamond Core
Primal Romance Core
BDLM Core
NDE Core…

Male Enhancement
Prevent Premature Ejaculation
Synergy: Beyond Connection
Synergy: Venus Unveiled
Synergy: Divine Dominion
Mosaic

Treasure Finder, for some reason, I want to include here. This is a start for this custom. Wife plans on the DivD/PRom stack after November as well.

Decided on listening to:

3 min Alch 2
1.5 min KB1
1.5 min PRom
7 min Generator

Weeee! Wife is listening to Alchemist St1, Primal Romance, and LBfH for her current stack.

[PizzaShaman]

First 10k since May. I’m happy I’m under 45 minutes.

Can’t wait to see what Let’sRow adds!

[PizzaShaman]

10/10/24

Shoulda rowed today, but feeling under the weather. Decided not to push it.

I gave Emperor Daddy a 90 second listen Tuesday night, with another 90 second listen on Wednesday before work. I was initially worried as it’s an Emperor title, and that shit gives me recon. I just figured out last week that I’m finally recon free at 30 seconds on TWTP, and I was not sure how EmpD was going to hit.

I needn’t have worried at all.

Fits like a glove. Interactions with coworkers are better, familial relations are better (all around!), I feel great.

• Establish Strong Personal Boundaries: Create an internal framework where you understand how to set clear, respectful boundaries that others naturally respect. This builds emotional strength and defines your leadership role in relationships.

Wife and daughter stopped by for lunch today. Extremely rare for my wife to come to my workplace, maybe once a year. The department director was hanging out at my station talking with me when they arrived. My wife and the director had never met, so I introduced them. She made mention of how he comes up occasionally in our conversation at home and it was nice to put a face to the name; he smiled and came back with something sarcastic, knowing about her too from conversation with me. It immediately felt like he was instigating, so I shot him a look and said “DirectorName! Boundaries!” I felt quite solid internally at that moment, as I recall. It didn’t go badly with him though.

EmpD feels great! Can’t wait to come back to it after Rowvember. In fact…

BigDaddy V1

Emperor: DADDY Core
Primal Romance Core
BDLM Core
NDE Core…
Male Enhancement
Prevent Premature Ejaculation
Synergy: Beyond Connection
Synergy: Venus Unveiled
Synergy: Divine Dominion
Mosaic

[Malkuth]

@PizzaShaman

EmpD feels great

It’s funny that you typed this.

Just now I suddenly had the thought, ‘I think that Emperor Daddy subliminal would be perfect for @PizzaShaman’. So I just came over to type that.

I’d already liked this post, so I must have registered on some level that you were already playing it. But I didn’t clearly remember.

Somehow the energy and focus of this title sound like you. Will be interesting to see how you work with it.

[PizzaShaman]

@Malkuth

It’s funny that you typed this.

Just now I suddenly had the thought, ‘I think that Emperor Daddy subliminal would be perfect for @PizzaShaman’. So I just came over to type that.

I’d already liked this post, so I must have registered on some level that you were already playing it. But I didn’t clearly remember.

Somehow the energy and focus of this title sound like you. Will be interesting to see how you work with it.

I felt a positive vibe as I was sitting here and got the notification on my screen of your post. Thank you Malkuth, and Alchemist St 2!

For real though! Every title I’ve played lately has been massively exceeding my expectations.

I picked up Primal Romance and Emperor Daddy in one purchase. While curious about both, with PRom being intended to fill the “WB for Monogamy” desire many of us had, I simply had to run that one first. I was initally disappointed. I’ve never run Primal; not familiar with that feel, if that matters at all. My marriage feels more involved and improved after some PRom, but I wasn’t feeling what I was hoping for (which was WB without harem scripting).

EmpD filled in what was missing quite nicely. The two titles together feel like missing instructions or guidance that I’ve been needing. I’m looking forward to the future custom.

[PizzaShaman]

Alchemist results for my wife this past week:
One 3 min play Monday, one 5 min play Friday, both plays on Stage 1.

• On Wednesday evening, she started a conversation with me, “So you want to know if I notice anything different, right?” and proceeded to spend the next 5-8 minutes talking about her new desire and thoughts on the benefit of organizing and planning her day and the benefits thereof.

• Friday evening- she was speaking on how she was feeling after that days’ listen (PRom and ALCH1) and how she was finding herself improving how she did things, and …" I am naturally slipping into better habits" came out of her mouth. My brain hit a klaxon in that moment to tell me that my wife was reciting script to me.

[PizzaShaman]

Let’s Row has arrived!

[PizzaShaman]

10/16/24

Couldn’t wait.

1.5 min Let’s ROW
30 sec EmpD
30 sec Alch2

A good time for me for that distance. I felt like rowing as soon as the listening was done!

[PizzaShaman]

10/18/24

PizzaShaman payday!

BigDickDaddy V1 ordered! (Henceforth known as BDD!)

Emperor: DADDY Core
Primal Romance Core
BDLM Core
NDE Core…
Male Enhancement
Prevent Premature Ejaculation
Synergy: Beyond Connection
Synergy: Venus Unveiled
Synergy: Divine Dominion
Mosaic

I woke up yesterday with a bad stomach bug. Migraine headache, fever chills and sweats, and bile retching right off the bat. I called off work and slept half the day before I was able to get up and keep down a bit of water. I feel alright this morning, some pressure in my head but nothing bad.

Primal Romance noticing, I think (NSFWish):

I’ve noticed, ever since I started some PRom, that I get hit with waves of desire for my wife a couple times a day, coupled with mental imagery of pounding away and squirting deep, 'cause that’s how she likes it.

Going for some real light listening today! Hoping to row tomorrow as well, so today is:

60 sec PRom
60 sec EmpD

and I should be able to listen to some Let’s Row tomorrow before a workout.

[RVconsultant]

How are you, mate?