Happy anniversary!
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7/31 Morning Time!
Summer is winding down. Soon, I will be back to my normal schedule and routine. I look forward to the return of the students with some trepidation; my department has had some turnover and we haven’t had those gaps filled yet. It’s going to be another stressful fall.
I’ve had a lot of introspection lately, mainly relationship stuff. I’m guess that’s HS at work. Lots of videos on ‘modern’ relationships coming across my feed. Between seeing those and my own observations of the young people at work, I am glad I am not on the dating scene. Looks wild out there!
After some time on that sort of material, I understood my own lack of relationship with my mother better. She blew up the family when I was young; within six months of my dropping out of college, she moved across the state to live with her new Internet BF. (Circa year 2000) My brother was taken with her, my sister moved in with a friend, and I had to go live with my dad. I have tried, and failed, to forgive her for that. Now that I understand it a bit better, I have accepted my relationship with my mother as ‘it is what it is’.
Getting a brain fart as I try to continue with that topic…time to let it alone, for now.
And now time for early work.
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8/12 Morning Time!
What a gift! I wake up to see that the new Alchemist has been dropped!
Sigh. My stack just got bent over the table. I was already disturbed from my plan of action with the Love custom I had been planning when I saw Prioritas’ Love and Spiritual sub module list. I was going to push it through last night anyways, just commit to it for the fall semester, and then I didn’t. I’m glad.
Still, I feel frustrated because I want to get that Synergy in my life! I have customs I don’t use, and while I count that as the learning curve for myself, I wish to avoid adding to the digital pile. I am thinking of a new approach for myself although I’ve seen it mentioned here: a module only custom, no “cores”, to boost and add to whatever else I’m listening to. I’ve got no problems stacking store titles together to see how they affect me, other than being mindful of recon, overload, and diminished returns/processing. A module only custom will let me add in what modules I want, without crafting a specific core custom sub that I may find useless later.
I’ve had that previous portion sitting for a few hours.
Afternoon time!
I’m feeling like this is a good example in my life of Response vs Initiation. Human Design. I’m a Generator, and work best in Response. I was trying to get something going with with making a new custom (Love), and I like the idea I had laid out for myself, but I wasn’t feeling it enough to go through with the order. Instead, I had a great internal response to the Alchemist update after reading the new copy. I’ve been through St1 and 2 and some time on St 3 before the update, and I look forward to the new experience. This has busted my stack and plans. Well done Fire!
Instead of previous plans, I’m going to proceed through this updated Alchemist. I’ll be continuing with my Generator Terminus custom, and …likely Love Bomb. The aura is so useful! I could listen to another title and enjoy the effects, but I aim to be focused for this next time period. Hmmm. Maybe some Khan Black from time to time to assist.
Anyways…time for the listen.
1.5 min Alch 1
3 min LB
5 min Generator
Interesting sensations during listening today. < Alchemist felt different going in.>
Duh, it is different scripting. < The new scripting is very effective.>
Love Bomb felt different. Sensations in my heart/chest during the playtime that I hadn’t experienced during listening to LB before.
Generator felt different. < Interactions with the energetic scripting in RoM and elsewhere in the custom> I felt a spinning torus of energy in my pelvis and lower abdomen while listening to Generator. That was new as well.
My brain giving me answers is marked by < >
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8/14 Morning Time!
Alchemist St1 Cycle 1 Day 3
2 min Alch 1
5 min LB
1.5 min KB1
I suppose I’m intending to go deep this time with Alchemist as I felt compelled to make a header to track listening better.
A sigh. Of delight! I wake up to a new drop in the form of MDFY.
I’m even more thankful I didn’t push a custom through. I hope there will be a Sub Club subscription service at some point. I think it would be doable after custom sub automation is all done. I would love to be able to try out a module in some fashion without committing to an entire custom.
I was aware of internal energy during the Alchemist listen again today. The sensations were more pronounced. Shit’s crazy.
- Love Bomb: I find the aura to be very useful at work, as people try to help me out to show love. I have noticed a big difference in attitude, treatment, and speech from my coworkers since I made the switch from WB to LB. Several, who I eventually figured were put off by the DTF aura, have come around in a big way and are much more communicative.
The wife just got the monthly visitor, so I figured today was a good day to work in some Khan Black. I’m thinking I’ll do a similar listen on Friday, swapping either KB or LB for TWTP. I’m feeling reluctant to put that (TWTP) down for some reason. It’s interesting. I’m not past 90 seconds listening time on that one. I’ve been listening to it for a while, and I want to keep it in the rotation, even though a little break from it probably wouldn’t hurt.
Sitting here feeling energy radiate off of me. This new scripting is very effective!
3 Likes
8/16
3 min Alch1
3 min LB
30 sec Sanguine
30 sec TWTP
10min meditation. I wanted longer but ran short on time because I wanted to row.
I believe my body is missing that Spartan subliminal input. I will ponder that today.
2 Likes
8/17
I had HERO and Spartan in a custom that I ran during q4 of last year. I had noticed things popping up on my feed (HERO related, I’m sure) up until a few weeks ago. I had rowed all through spring semester with no troubles; picking it up from winter break seemed easy. This new start to rowing again feels more difficult and I believe that it’s due to Spartan scripting being out of my system.
I was hoping the discipline aspect of ALCH 1 would be enough to get me going again. It’s something, for sure, but not quite right.
Disjointed thoughts. Love em!
Yesterday’s listening lead to some nausea and recon that cleared up by mid afternoon. I’m not certain if it’s due to the increase in listening time on Alch or 4 tracks in one day. I’m leaning towards the former, as I’ve done 4 before without similar effects. For myself, stacking microloops feeds that info into my aura. I noticed reactions to both LB and TWTP yesterday from coworkers and others. 3 minutes of LB and 30 seconds of TWTP= cruise control for workplace interactions for me.
Athletes are back to school. They don’t eat too much pizza, so I’m still looking at a slow weekend.
Oh well.
2 Likes
8/20 Morning Time!
Did my listening yesterday-
Alchemist St1 Cycle 1 Day 8 (8/19)
3 min Alch 1
3 min LB
5 min Generator
Yesterday had things. I took Dollar to the new groomer I was trying out for clipping his nails. We had an appointment last week but the lady groomer was unable to do it on her own; she suggested I come back when her coworker could be there to help. That was yesterday, and it went well. Dollar is quite anxious when it comes to clipping nails so it’s a relief to have found this place.
I yelled at my son before leaving for my next errand, as I caught him just chilling on the rower again when he should have been exercising. He is required to row 6k before getting on the PC for the day; the rowing currently the only physical activity he has. This led to him having a breakdown after I left (according to my daughters) and sending a text to me, along with his row pic, that I took in a snarky tone. More yelling when I got home, and my oldest daughter decided to start yelling at me too which escalated things a bit. She’s always telling me how to parent and how I could be doing things better. I wasn’t living at my parent’s home at her age.
I had been on edge for a day or so at this point (for some reason), which dissipated somewhat when I realized it was full moon. I then went and apologized to my children for my intensity and word choices, and I explained my intent behind them. I really don’t want my son to continue being heavy when there is another option; I went through that and don’t want him to have that experience.
I ended up speaking to all my children and explaining my point of view. I’ll be glad when this full moon energy has moved on.
Time to go row.
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Late night thoughts:
An interesting day. Did my listening before work,
3 min Alch 1
3 min LB
30 sec TWTP
I wanted to make a note here: Had sex last night. I felt a new, odd pulling sensation from behind muh navel this time(like energy)right before orgasm, which itself was quite vivid in my mind as a bright explosion of white light with a gold center. Fucking weird to type out. The only new thing in my stack is the new Alchemist.
Lots of love being shown to me at work lately! Today, after expressing my dislike for how we handle allergen pizzas at work, my bosses got right on figuring out an alternate solution. One was figured out and I won’t have to worry about it anymore, which is a relief. The students will not find it convenient, but if they are serious about procuring one it will be available, just not made by me. I don’t feel bad; the majority of students are moving in on Friday so I have to begin preparing tomorrow. The next 3 days will be incredibly busy, challenging what our current staff will be able to accomplish. I’m likely going to skip the Friday listen as to not have to deal with input day going on. Well, maybe keep it short. 30 seconds of TWTP goes a LOOOONG way and could be helpful that day.
One boss had a good day yesterday while he was off and decided to share that with me today. He showed me a picture of his SO and asked me what SO was doing in the picture. SO was walking so I stated that; the significance being the lack of crutches! SO needed to be without them, according to yesterday’s checkup. I said that Boss was free from driving SO around, to which he grinned.
Had my yearly job review, it was a good one because I’m the PizzaShaman. It was also a good interaction with a boss that I didn’t think cared for me.
3rd boss (I know, a lot of bosses!) solved my Saturday supply issue, so that was a bonus. It will save me a lot of dough stretching time.
If only I had more coworkers! A few more and there would be manpower available in the morning to get my dough stretching guy back. I have been arriving at work and having lunch start at my punch in time, so I don’t have prep done at my station. While I have been given grace, and not a word of hassle, I still dislike this departure from routine that employee turnover has caused.
Thoughts time: I dislike the time in between periods where I am compelled to dive into something and learn about it.
Generator has been working good I suppose. I’ve been seeing results from it. I feel that I would have included the New Results Enhancing Experience versus the New Learning Experience had it been available at the time. One of the goals was for Generator to work with and enhance the rest of my stack, and the NREE would be better for that goal. Perhaps an Ascension Chamber/NREE custom instead? A legendary sub equipped in the 4th slot?!? What?
Quick addendum: I just realized that its the New Forgiveness Experience in Love Bomb that had been responsible for my recent medium duration relationship rumination. Well played.
2 Likes
8/31
I did get a row in on Thursday, just didn’t get it uploaded. 5k again. This first week of school has been taxing and busy! Lots of pizza making and sweating in front of that oven. I was hoping to row this morning but I opted for marital relations instead. Still a workout. 
Yesterday I gave myself 30 seconds each of LB, LBFH, and HS.
LBFH is the winner with the students at work. It easily doubles the number of positive interactions I have! It feels great, especially when it happens in front of my bosses and I know they’ve seen it.
On the other hand, new boss at work has the wrong vibe. They are on this weekend shift with me. I don’t feel any pull to interact with this person, so that’s a no for me. Problem is that I will put that into my vibe when they are around. I haven’t yet figured out how to hide or suppress my dislike for certain people, or move past it deliberately. Other coworkers that I’ve stated dislike for, well it’s only been just recently I’ve deigned to speak with them. Most often I’ll just move along, keep my gaze ahead and ignore em. Deny all energetic connections and all interaction save work related questions. A stark contrast to how I am with the customers.
But I trust my gut instinct, and I have a gift for knowing who brings worth to my life. An odd phrase, but something my brain just gave me, and these instinctual knowings have not proven themselves wrong.
I mentioned a marital thing to Gymfather this past Monday, a rumination of mine over curry. He mentioned she should be doing the opposite, so I’ve been reading 1 Corinthians the past few mornings because of his answer.
Not certain what type of result this is, if it is one. I have noticed an increase in understanding of the systems I know, which I was attributing to Alchemist.
End ramble. For now.
2 Likes
Go, go, go! 
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9/4
Had some recon yesterday. >.> At work, nonetheless. The listening I did before work was too much apparently. Ended up venting to my boss for 10 minutes on my lunch break. I could have used better words in my conversation with him, but I don’t think I damaged myself too badly. I did feel heaps better afterwards and I was able to eat.
Yesterday aside, while the atmosphere is glum at work, I am doing pretty well. I’ve noticed a big difference in personal interactions with the addition of LBFH to the regular listening schedule. The decision to listen prior to an in law cookout proved extremely beneficial a few days ago.
While early yet, I was able to get my rowing restarted with the discipline scripting of Alchemist as well. I will definitely want Spartan in my stack (for Rowvember) in some fashion starting mid October, but Alchemist is working for now.
A synchronicity last night- While reading an article about the Resolute Desk, in the backstory was a thorough mention of the Lost Franklin Expedition, which I am currently aware of due to “The Terror” show by AMC. Fascinating stuff!
What else lately…Ah. For whatever reason, the internal resistance I had to Chosen has been removed.
30 seconds of Heartsong is enough! Lots of knowledge lately that my wife and I aren’t the best matches for each other. Not like I was unaware; WB gave me that info last year. I may relegate this guy to the bench for a good while. It is effective and brings up items worthy of consideration, I will say that.
3 Likes
9/7
A dreary day here in Pizzaland, USA. Grey and miserable outside with a constant drizzle of rain.
Interesting things cooking though. Yesterday my wife made it a point to talk to me about starting her listening again. I hadn’t been reminding her and she’s about 6-7 weeks out from her regular stack of LB and Sanguine. After some talk regarding her goals and what she’ll actually do (action wise), she’s going with LBfH and Spartan.
I also asked if she’d be interested in listening to Divine Diamond; I offered to listen as well. To my surprise, she said yes!
This should be fun. 
We engaged in deep conversation after our listen last night, which I felt was a direct result of the loop. Relations after the loop were a bit off, kinda. Maybe not. Maybe just different. I didn’t feel the need to boom last night so I didn’t. Likewise this morning, still no urge to ejaculate during sex. Wife seemingly takes some offense to my lack of desire. I am aware that her energy responds to my own, and crashing those energy levels through ejaculation seems wasteful, if another way is possible.
Love Bomb for Humanity is working for me at work. Hard. I’ve noted multiple instances of praise for my jobs on a daily basis from students in front of my superiors. There was one instance where these two young men were going back and forth for a couple minutes ( “PizzaShaman is the GOAT!” “Yeah we can always rely on PizzaShaman to give us something good.” “PizzaShaman you should teach my class instead of Dr. blahblahblah haha!” Etc) while one of my bosses was assisting with pan changeout in my line. The boss felt invisible to the students while I received all the praise. I felt a little bad for that boss, but they don’t know about SubClub. Feels like a cheat code at work.
I’m still pondering the final build for a LB/LBFH custom. I think at this point I would include the New Auric Experience Core as well. I wonder what the limits are with my aura, like how potent or large it can get.
3 Likes
9/10
9/9
There are a few things I should accomplish today. More H20 is required! I fill bottles of more refined water from a local business and today would be a good day to get that done.
I have a visit with Gymfather scheduled too, although I suppose I should reach out and confirm for today. I find it interesting, the dynamic with him. I usually gain a single friend from any given workplace I’ve been at, someone I am willing to keep in touch with after employment has ended. It in interesting in this case as previously I’ve not had anyone openly state they want to hang out on a regular basis, like Gymfather has.
That may change. Ha! Today’s conversation will (likely) be including DnD, and my sudden departure from the group back in May.
I left that previous bit in the draft editor yesterday. My conversation forecast was accurate!
Yesterday’s Listening!
5 min Alch 1
3 min DivD
1.5 min LBFH
5 min Generator
Hmmm. Just did some back counting with regards to Alchemist. I have completed one cycle of stage 1. I want another before moving on to stage 2, but I’m thinking that stage 2 will have to wait for a while. My wife’s willingness to include DivD (and thus mine) was an unexpected adjustment to my plans. I do feel that Alchemist has helped with the retention aspect, unlocking something from my KB listening perhaps.
2 Likes
9/11
I’ve been working on the Rowvember custom this morning. While HeroWork got me through it last year, it is a pretty dense custom and I’m hoping to run something a little bit lighter. I presume that a name embedded store title Spartan would do the trick, but that time is not yet here! I would also like to hit another goal at the same time and do 40 days of semen retention, ending on Nov. 30, and a 30 day qigong cycle. I am uncertain as to which stage of Khan Black to include for this goal. St 4 is lengthy and likely comparable to HERO in that aspect.
NoNutRowvember Subliminal V0.1
Spartan Core!
KBC st 1 - 4 core?? Which Stage?
Inexhaustible
Sps Fat Burn
Synergy: Preordained Vitality
Dopeminergic Revival
Ardent Light
Stop Porn and Masturbation
synergy: Carpe Vitam
Synergy: Breath of the Storms
Synergy: Energetic Transcendence ?
Today’s Listening, brought to me by SubClub:
5 min Alch 1
3 min LB
1.5 min LBFH
5 Likes
9/12
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Had an enjoyable sexual encounter with the Wife last night! She displayed unusual enthusiasm during the bj portion, and I’ve taken note that since the inclusion of Divine Diamond her head game has gotten markedly better. Thanks Sub Club!
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Little things popping up, Alchemist related. New angles and perspectives upon review of known information. For me, that means rereading the Kolbrin or looking at my HD transit chart. I should read the Rothschild thread again while I got this scripting going on! Perhaps something new will jump out at me.
Sigh. Gotta row. I’m needing that Carpe Vitam scripting in my life. I should get a support ticket in to find out which stage of Khan Black would be best suited for NNR.
4 Likes
