PizzaShaman’s journal - Ongoing

[PizzaShaman]

Currently in the midst of a multi day fast with my wife and son. I started getting more strict on my intermittent fasting right after Memorial Day; my brother in law has had much success for himself with this, as was evident at the family picnic, and I felt the prodding to pick it up again. I managed to get my son on board this time (a major win) and he seems to understand what’s involved. This fast right now is actually his idea. He wanted to do a three day fast so here we are. Our relationship (son) is improving as we spend more time together as well.

I’ll admit I’m feeling hungry. I could really go for some butter chicken curry right now. Garlic naan too.

Work has seen the departure of some of my coworker friends, as they left for greener pastures. I left my DnD group as well. It was time! I’ve turned my attention into inquiring about obtaining education through my place of employment. I’d like to be able to transition into a different line of work in a number of years, and I’m finding out if a partial online/partial in person attendance path is possible to work around my employment. Things are looking pretty decent so far. Thankfully, after having worked there for years, I already knew the people I need to talk to.

Big difference in things with my wife in my switching from WB to LB. Our relationship is more loving and much improved.(Duh) Big difference in me as well. The rowing motivation has vanished again. It feels like the pause I had after I completed Rowvember, so I know it’s not permanent. This dayshift work schedule has not helped things either. The answer will present itself soon enough.
Side note: As there is ASBR and it’s no fame version, I’d love to see a WB version without the DTF/harem aura. my wife didn’t like it!

I’ve finally been able to move past 30 seconds of TWTP and the recon that it produced. I did 60 seconds yesterday and today has gone well as far as recon goes.

I would like to craft a custom with some of the synergy modules but, aside from updating my Generator custom with them, I’ve had difficulty in putting one together.

[Lion]

@PizzaShaman

I’d love to see a WB version without the DTF/harem aura

I think the closest we currently have to WB without the harem scripting is Daredevil.

Both WB and DD have verbal mastery and social skills so DD might just be up your alley. Especially with its adventure and story telling skills.

[Malkuth]

@PizzaShaman

I would like to craft a custom with some of the synergy modules but, aside from updating my Generator custom with them, I’ve had difficulty in putting one together.

Paradoxically, the difficulty you describe is a good sign. I believe it’s coming from the fact that you are grounded in really living life.

[TheRock]

@PizzaShaman

I started getting more strict on my intermittent fasting right after Memorial Day; my brother in law has had much success for himself

Various studies suggest that intermittent fasting is most effectful (for losing weight) when you place the fasting period overnight. For example, eat only until 4pm and fast until at least 6am. It helps not only loosing weight but also in helping your body do its repairs and removing “junk” from your body.

[PizzaShaman]

@TheRock

Various studies suggest that intermittent fasting is most effectful (for losing weight) when you place the fasting period overnight. For example, eat only until 4pm and fast until at least 6am. It helps not only loosing weight but also in helping your body do its repairs and removing “junk” from your body.

I know. My eating window is a bit different to accommodate my work schedule. When school is in session my window is 3pm-9pm. I sometimes like to have a snack when I get home from work. I have some Zeal (by Zurvita) in the later morning with my vitamins and supplements; I don’t feel like it messes with my fast.

I got serious into fasting about 4 years ago, and it helped me finally break the 275 barrier I’d had for years. I get lazy from time to time though, and just got over a lazy spell with my eating, thanks to feeling the prompt from my brother in law’s success.

[PizzaShaman]

Past …6 weeks or so? listening sched:

4/29
7 min Generator

4/30
3 min LB
5 min PN
30 sec Sang

5/3
3 min LB
3 min Sang
30 sec TWTP
3 min KB4

5/6
7 min Generator

5/7
3 min LB
5 min KB4

5/13
5 min Generator
1.5 min LB
30 secs TWTP
1.5 min Sang

5/14
30 sec LB
30 sec PN

5/17
3 min KB4
2 min BDLM
30 sec RoTNW
1.5 min LB
3 min PN

5/20
5 min Generator
3 min LB
3 min BDLM
3 min PN
2 min Generator (minutes 5:01-7:00)

5/22
5 min KB4
30 sec Spartan
30 sec TWTP
1.5 min LB

5/27
5 min Generator
5 min RotNw
3 min LB
1 min PN
1 min BDLM

5/29
3 min KB4
30 sec TWTP
1.5 min LB
3 min BDLM

6/3
30 sec TWTP
1.5 min LB
30 sec Heartsong
7 min Generator
30 sec Marriage Enhancement

6/5
5 min KB4

6/7
1.5 min LB
30 sec Heartsong
30 sec TWTP
1.5 min BDLM

6/10
30 sec heartsong
1 min TWTP
1.5 min LB
3 min KB4
7 min Generator

6/12
30 sec BDLM
30 sec HS
30 sec LB
30 sec DivD

6/14
3 min LB
30 sec HS
30 sec RoTNW
30 sec BDLM

6/17
45 sec HS
75 sec TWTP
3 min LB
5 min KB4
5 min Generator

6/19
1.5 min RotNW
45 sec HS
3 min LB
1.5 min BDLM

6/21
30 sec KB3
45 sec HS
1.5 min LB
5 min RotNW
3 min BDLM

I want to take a week off from listening rq as I got my anniversary coming up. I’d like whatever I listen to for Anniversary sex to have superior execution with nothing clogging the brainwaves. We’ll see if I can pull it off.

My wife is starting new HS today.

[PizzaShaman]

I’ve noticed a few things lately.

• I believe it was last week when I had the sudden realization that the “thought stream” that has been showing up from time to time is my subconscious, communicating with me. I’m thinking it’s a combination of my time with RoM and the Inner Voice module. The experience is wild. I think I wrote about my mind telling me to switch from WB to LB and I’d get better interactions with my wife; upon retrospect that was one such instance. It’s like…something happens. Could be anything, any sort of stimulus. I’ll feel a surge in my brain, flowing from somewhere in the base in the back to the middle of my head, and I’ll have a thought stream giving me information.

• This one was unusual to me: My time with KB has removed my “need” for excessive variations of sex. Hmmm. That’s not worded well. Porn sex? Any desire for anything past doggy, missionary or bj’s is gone. I care more about her level of presence during the act.

• The HS aura is different from the LB aura (duh) but I’m seeing the difference in having added HS to my “stack” (I use that term loosely in regards to my listening). Hard to put into words…

• HS working on muh marriage: It seems as my “stack” changes, my algorithm changes and my feed changes! Saw the Paired app on the Book, and started that with my wife. A disagreement on how she answered her questions a week into it brought up some old shit in my head. I had to reprocess my feelings on that again 4 years later. At the end of it, I’ve gained the realization (the Knowing) that she is not interested in seeking anything outside of our marriage.

• I haven’t rowed in maybe a month. It’s going to be longer until I get back to it, unless I really work Spartan back into things. Been considering a reimagining of HeroWork and swapping TWTP for RM:UX. Hero, Spartan, TWTP. I like the concept for a long term sub for myself. Back to rowing: It’ll come back as I want to participate in this year’s Rowvember Challenge and win it again.

Yeah man.

[Malkuth]

Looking good, bro.

[PizzaShaman]

7/6

3.5 min RotNW
1.5 min each BDLM, LB, HS

Wedding anniversary yesterday- 21 years. We’ve made a lot of progress together over this past year, and I believe SubClub products have contributed to that work.

A PizzaShaman thank you to Fire and SaintSovereign and to the collective here on the forum: Your words have been so helpful!

Back to the beach!

[Lion]

Happy 21st anniversary! Blessings!

[RVconsultant]

Happy anniversary!

[PizzaShaman]

7/31 Morning Time!

Summer is winding down. Soon, I will be back to my normal schedule and routine. I look forward to the return of the students with some trepidation; my department has had some turnover and we haven’t had those gaps filled yet. It’s going to be another stressful fall.

I’ve had a lot of introspection lately, mainly relationship stuff. I’m guess that’s HS at work. Lots of videos on ‘modern’ relationships coming across my feed. Between seeing those and my own observations of the young people at work, I am glad I am not on the dating scene. Looks wild out there!

After some time on that sort of material, I understood my own lack of relationship with my mother better. She blew up the family when I was young; within six months of my dropping out of college, she moved across the state to live with her new Internet BF. (Circa year 2000) My brother was taken with her, my sister moved in with a friend, and I had to go live with my dad. I have tried, and failed, to forgive her for that. Now that I understand it a bit better, I have accepted my relationship with my mother as ‘it is what it is’.

Getting a brain fart as I try to continue with that topic…time to let it alone, for now.

And now time for early work.

[PizzaShaman]

8/12 Morning Time!

What a gift! I wake up to see that the new Alchemist has been dropped!

Sigh. My stack just got bent over the table. I was already disturbed from my plan of action with the Love custom I had been planning when I saw Prioritas’ Love and Spiritual sub module list. I was going to push it through last night anyways, just commit to it for the fall semester, and then I didn’t. I’m glad.

Still, I feel frustrated because I want to get that Synergy in my life! I have customs I don’t use, and while I count that as the learning curve for myself, I wish to avoid adding to the digital pile. I am thinking of a new approach for myself although I’ve seen it mentioned here: a module only custom, no “cores”, to boost and add to whatever else I’m listening to. I’ve got no problems stacking store titles together to see how they affect me, other than being mindful of recon, overload, and diminished returns/processing. A module only custom will let me add in what modules I want, without crafting a specific core custom sub that I may find useless later.

---

I’ve had that previous portion sitting for a few hours.

Afternoon time!

I’m feeling like this is a good example in my life of Response vs Initiation. Human Design. I’m a Generator, and work best in Response. I was trying to get something going with with making a new custom (Love), and I like the idea I had laid out for myself, but I wasn’t feeling it enough to go through with the order. Instead, I had a great internal response to the Alchemist update after reading the new copy. I’ve been through St1 and 2 and some time on St 3 before the update, and I look forward to the new experience. This has busted my stack and plans. Well done Fire!

Instead of previous plans, I’m going to proceed through this updated Alchemist. I’ll be continuing with my Generator Terminus custom, and …likely Love Bomb. The aura is so useful! I could listen to another title and enjoy the effects, but I aim to be focused for this next time period. Hmmm. Maybe some Khan Black from time to time to assist.

Anyways…time for the listen.

1.5 min Alch 1
3 min LB
5 min Generator

Interesting sensations during listening today. < Alchemist felt different going in.>
Duh, it is different scripting. < The new scripting is very effective.>

Love Bomb felt different. Sensations in my heart/chest during the playtime that I hadn’t experienced during listening to LB before.

Generator felt different. < Interactions with the energetic scripting in RoM and elsewhere in the custom> I felt a spinning torus of energy in my pelvis and lower abdomen while listening to Generator. That was new as well.

My brain giving me answers is marked by < >

[PizzaShaman]

8/13

Back to rowing as my summer is effectively over!

Not too bad for the break I’ve had.

[PizzaShaman]

8/14 Morning Time!

Alchemist St1 Cycle 1 Day 3

2 min Alch 1
5 min LB
1.5 min KB1

I suppose I’m intending to go deep this time with Alchemist as I felt compelled to make a header to track listening better.

---

A sigh. Of delight! I wake up to a new drop in the form of MDFY.

I’m even more thankful I didn’t push a custom through. I hope there will be a Sub Club subscription service at some point. I think it would be doable after custom sub automation is all done. I would love to be able to try out a module in some fashion without committing to an entire custom.

I was aware of internal energy during the Alchemist listen again today. The sensations were more pronounced. Shit’s crazy.

• Love Bomb: I find the aura to be very useful at work, as people try to help me out to show love. I have noticed a big difference in attitude, treatment, and speech from my coworkers since I made the switch from WB to LB. Several, who I eventually figured were put off by the DTF aura, have come around in a big way and are much more communicative.

The wife just got the monthly visitor, so I figured today was a good day to work in some Khan Black. I’m thinking I’ll do a similar listen on Friday, swapping either KB or LB for TWTP. I’m feeling reluctant to put that (TWTP) down for some reason. It’s interesting. I’m not past 90 seconds listening time on that one. I’ve been listening to it for a while, and I want to keep it in the rotation, even though a little break from it probably wouldn’t hurt.

Sitting here feeling energy radiate off of me. This new scripting is very effective!

[PizzaShaman]

8/16

3 min Alch1
3 min LB
30 sec Sanguine
30 sec TWTP

10min meditation. I wanted longer but ran short on time because I wanted to row.

I believe my body is missing that Spartan subliminal input. I will ponder that today.

[PizzaShaman]

8/17

I had HERO and Spartan in a custom that I ran during q4 of last year. I had noticed things popping up on my feed (HERO related, I’m sure) up until a few weeks ago. I had rowed all through spring semester with no troubles; picking it up from winter break seemed easy. This new start to rowing again feels more difficult and I believe that it’s due to Spartan scripting being out of my system.

I was hoping the discipline aspect of ALCH 1 would be enough to get me going again. It’s something, for sure, but not quite right.

Disjointed thoughts. Love em!

Yesterday’s listening lead to some nausea and recon that cleared up by mid afternoon. I’m not certain if it’s due to the increase in listening time on Alch or 4 tracks in one day. I’m leaning towards the former, as I’ve done 4 before without similar effects. For myself, stacking microloops feeds that info into my aura. I noticed reactions to both LB and TWTP yesterday from coworkers and others. 3 minutes of LB and 30 seconds of TWTP= cruise control for workplace interactions for me.

---

Athletes are back to school. They don’t eat too much pizza, so I’m still looking at a slow weekend.

Oh well.

[PizzaShaman]

8/20 Morning Time!

Did my listening yesterday-

Alchemist St1 Cycle 1 Day 8 (8/19)
3 min Alch 1
3 min LB
5 min Generator

Yesterday had things. I took Dollar to the new groomer I was trying out for clipping his nails. We had an appointment last week but the lady groomer was unable to do it on her own; she suggested I come back when her coworker could be there to help. That was yesterday, and it went well. Dollar is quite anxious when it comes to clipping nails so it’s a relief to have found this place.

I yelled at my son before leaving for my next errand, as I caught him just chilling on the rower again when he should have been exercising. He is required to row 6k before getting on the PC for the day; the rowing currently the only physical activity he has. This led to him having a breakdown after I left (according to my daughters) and sending a text to me, along with his row pic, that I took in a snarky tone. More yelling when I got home, and my oldest daughter decided to start yelling at me too which escalated things a bit. She’s always telling me how to parent and how I could be doing things better. I wasn’t living at my parent’s home at her age.

I had been on edge for a day or so at this point (for some reason), which dissipated somewhat when I realized it was full moon. I then went and apologized to my children for my intensity and word choices, and I explained my intent behind them. I really don’t want my son to continue being heavy when there is another option; I went through that and don’t want him to have that experience.

I ended up speaking to all my children and explaining my point of view. I’ll be glad when this full moon energy has moved on.

Time to go row.

[PizzaShaman]

Yeah dude.

[PizzaShaman]

Late night thoughts:

An interesting day. Did my listening before work,

3 min Alch 1
3 min LB
30 sec TWTP

I wanted to make a note here: Had sex last night. I felt a new, odd pulling sensation from behind muh navel this time(like energy)right before orgasm, which itself was quite vivid in my mind as a bright explosion of white light with a gold center. Fucking weird to type out. The only new thing in my stack is the new Alchemist.

Lots of love being shown to me at work lately! Today, after expressing my dislike for how we handle allergen pizzas at work, my bosses got right on figuring out an alternate solution. One was figured out and I won’t have to worry about it anymore, which is a relief. The students will not find it convenient, but if they are serious about procuring one it will be available, just not made by me. I don’t feel bad; the majority of students are moving in on Friday so I have to begin preparing tomorrow. The next 3 days will be incredibly busy, challenging what our current staff will be able to accomplish. I’m likely going to skip the Friday listen as to not have to deal with input day going on. Well, maybe keep it short. 30 seconds of TWTP goes a LOOOONG way and could be helpful that day.

One boss had a good day yesterday while he was off and decided to share that with me today. He showed me a picture of his SO and asked me what SO was doing in the picture. SO was walking so I stated that; the significance being the lack of crutches! SO needed to be without them, according to yesterday’s checkup. I said that Boss was free from driving SO around, to which he grinned.

Had my yearly job review, it was a good one because I’m the PizzaShaman. It was also a good interaction with a boss that I didn’t think cared for me.

3rd boss (I know, a lot of bosses!) solved my Saturday supply issue, so that was a bonus. It will save me a lot of dough stretching time.

If only I had more coworkers! A few more and there would be manpower available in the morning to get my dough stretching guy back. I have been arriving at work and having lunch start at my punch in time, so I don’t have prep done at my station. While I have been given grace, and not a word of hassle, I still dislike this departure from routine that employee turnover has caused.

Thoughts time: I dislike the time in between periods where I am compelled to dive into something and learn about it.

Generator has been working good I suppose. I’ve been seeing results from it. I feel that I would have included the New Results Enhancing Experience versus the New Learning Experience had it been available at the time. One of the goals was for Generator to work with and enhance the rest of my stack, and the NREE would be better for that goal. Perhaps an Ascension Chamber/NREE custom instead? A legendary sub equipped in the 4th slot?!? What?

Quick addendum: I just realized that its the New Forgiveness Experience in Love Bomb that had been responsible for my recent medium duration relationship rumination. Well played.