PizzaShaman’s journal - Ongoing

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#404

3/12 Night Time!

Well, lets see. Business first!
Got my row in last Saturday and today, so on track for workouts.

Did my Monday listening:
1.5 min Generator
1.5 min Sanguine

Got my wife hooked up with the new Love Bomb. I’ll admit to being quite curious about it for myself. I was going to give it a listen, but while my wife wasn’t worried about waiting for the copy I wanted to see it. Just curious.

It is so interesting how triggering the word ‘forgiveness’ is to me! As soon as I saw that, and re-read that section, I felt an internal block rise up with regard to giving that track a listen. It’s so odd. I know I have issues with that subject, but I didn’t expect an internal “fuck that” upon reading the copy.

I suppose that means it is something I should do, or have to do. I have a similar block with Stark. I’m so curious about those subs, but I can’t bring myself to listen for some reason. Some sort of block, but different from the Love Bomb one. This one feels more visceral.

Hmmm. I suppose I have always been fearful of what is on the other side of forgiving the grudges I carry. As though the pain borne was nothing; if I forgive, then it happened for no reason, or something.

I don’t know. I’m surprised with these thoughts, much more recording them here.

Hmmm. What would happen if I let all that shit go?

I don’t know what I would be like. Myself, but surely better? For losing the baggage?

Dad never forgave anyone.

Might be on to something here. Feeling emotional and shit. I had the notion earlier that dropping all that stuff would be a release that would result in …tears. Another no no. Interesting.

So much nonsense tied up with my parents. What would peace with that look like for me?

Hmmm. Seems revelation is over for now. Felt like a spigot being turned in my mind and the flow dried up.

3 Likes
#405

3/13 Morning Time!

1.5 Min SanguineV2!
1.5 min New WB custom!
1.5 min PN

Hmmm. Updated Love Bomb will be listened to. Just not today. The stack of Sang/LB/KB sounds pretty good to this guy. I bookmarked that whole post bossman Saint shared. (It’s in your bookmarks bro, when you reread this later!)

Alright. What else…

New Custom...Imma call it "GoodTimes"

NDE Core
WB Core
BDLM Core
Male Enhancement
Prevent Premature Ejaculation
Soul Connection
Reignition
Yggdrasil
Omnidimensional
DEUS

While thinking about my list of modules here, I realize that Soul Connection and Reignition would likely jive well with Love Bomb Core in a custom. Intriguing! Hidden note for later; a surprise for myself!

Excitement!!

Super super super pumped to wake up and see that Mind’s Eye is on deck for an update. I’ll have to get Generator remade and I’m excited to do so. I got going with a custom pretty early in my listening with SubClub, and Mind’s Eye has been part of my stack pretty much ever since. Before, I always had problems with any sort of visualization, but now it’s completely different.

Jumping around: Forgiveness. My wife asked me last night, after the previous post, what was wrong? I suppose it was still on my face. It was harder than I thought it would be to share my revelations with her. Intimacy is vulnerability, or some such. Blah. In the telling to her, it became clear to me that incorporating forgiveness will result in a course correction. Kinda like that, too. I oftentimes will jump into something, start some new activity or try to form a habit, without serious consideration as to the long term implications. With this, I know I am heading for a changed self. It occurs to me as I type that the last copy to give me such a reaction was HERO Origins. Interesting stuff.

:pizza: :pray:t2:

Edit: Got a meditation in this morning as well!

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#406

It is definitely an Alchemist manifestation. I find humor in how I put something down, and when I pick it back up and turn the page, there it(revelation) is.

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#407

3/15 Morning Time!

A listening day. Let’s see…slight energy headache, or at least that is what I term it. If I can put my tongue to the roof of my mouth, and I feel the “headache” “move”, it’s an “energy headache”. :slight_smile: Just an awareness. I usually notice it happens between 48-72 hours after a release.

1.5 min Sanguine-----I’ve been liking the effect of having this one first in the listening playlist. Seems to make recon for others far easier.
1.5 min GoodTimes
1.5 min PN

I invested more time thinking on Forgiveness yesterday, and why I have such a problem with it. My father popped up again. Past not ever seeing an example of forgiveness from him, I recalled how he would always say, “I’ll remember that.” Whatever “that” was would be brought up at a later time when a punishment would be inflicted for some other offense, and the punishment would be worse.

There is also the matter of my own nature. I have always been disposed towards treating people as they treat me, or how I see them treating other people. I recall a time at a previous job: A coworker was loudly making fun of a manager over a math error, " 'Cause she’s Puerto Rican". Within 20 minutes, when said coworker made a mistake, I verbally attributed it to her being a lesbian.

RED ALERT!!! RED ALERT!!!

You’d have thought I kicked her child (had she any kids) or ran over her pet in front of her. She immediately got triggered and making a fuss with all the managers there.

“Did you hear that! You can’t say that to ME! PIZZASHAMAN IS RACIST!!” ( well I wasn’t called that then but ya know)

Oh I started LAUGHING!!! OMG!

The other, non Puerto Rican manager (lolol) present at the time was …Hanzo. He was laughing as well, and informed the coworker that what I said was bigoted, but not racist, unlike what she had said about the other manager.

Coworker was still shook up. “Well, it’s considered racist in Florida!” (Where she had moved from)

That memory makes me smile. :smiley:

An interesting train of thought though, considering I haven’t listened to LB yet. I wonder if it’s the NLE in Generator or some function of my wife listening to LB.

I have this strange fascination with the upcoming Tyson/Paul “fight”. It is strange because I normally don’t give a fuck regarding any sort of sports, considering events to be modern day “circuses”. It’s odd because I have found nuggets of knowledge in my looking into the event, the biggest one being Tyson talking about discipline.

“Discipline is doing what you hate, but doing it like you love it.” I love it.

PizzaShaman’s opinion: Tyson will MURDER that young man. In speaking with coworkers and students, it appears that anyone under …30? Late twenties?..places heavy weight on Tyson’s age. “You can’t dismiss Paul man.” Foolishness. If those recent training videos are legit, he (Tyson) appears to have all of his strength and speed. Tyson also practiced semen retention before fights, and I would be highly surprised if he’s not doing so for this one as well. I do not see Jake Paul possessing the same level of discipline.

Big event day tomorrow! Going to be a busy day, as in addition to the first full weekend back after spring break, it’s also an open house. I’m serving Chicken Bacon Ranch and a Curry Chicken pizza as
specials.

:pizza: :pray:t2:

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#408

3/16 Evening Time!

Rest weekend! Well, for listening. My work event went smoothly today.

I had a conversation with Gymfather yesterday regarding forgiveness, seeking any possible insight.
“Forgiveness. That’s hard.” His opener. Not unexpected! He relayed his experience to me: As a Christian, he gives it to God. It’s not always easy, and he has to keep at it, but he tries.

Such mirth! The realization I just had!!

Anyways. That’s the cart ahead of the horse right there.

He tries. We went back and forth trading experiences, both having had a parent who went, “I’ll remember that.” Gymfather and I are of a similar nature, sharing a unique gate and line placement in Human Design. It makes forgiveness difficult, that we agree on.

Later on, he sent me this:

I watched it this morning before I rowed. Gave me a lot to think about, namely the need to release that blocked up energy. I felt energy moving within at points during the video. I suppose I could have cried, and I feel that would have been the quickest way to release it, but I was unable to. So I rowed. Had a great start, actually seeing the potential for 8000 meters in my half hour at my current pace for around the first 4 minutes. That was a first.

My take away from the video is that I need to forgive a lot of people, move that stuck energy outta my system. How to do that? I know some targeted methods, but I don’t know exactly what to aim for. What do I do to attempt to affect the entire system at once?

And here comes the realization and the laughter: My mind says “Listen to Love Bomb” and I feel the block dissolve. For real. Now it’s more of a schedule thing, as I don’t listen on weekends and I kinda want to wash out first, but not just yet. There’s no “NO” to it anymore though, and I have been exploring Forgiveness for at least a few days now. What is this, from reading the copy? Some influence from my wife, who is listening to Love Bomb? I don’t know. Interesting though.

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#409

How did you ask that? Seriously, I’m curious.

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#410

I came up behind her as she was getting dressed, put my hand on her waist and asked, “Can I hit it from the back real quick?”

Nothing special really.

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#411

That’s awesome, man! Keep it going.

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#412

3/20 Morning Time!

Monday’s Listening:

2 min generator
1.5 min sanguine
1.5 min TWTP

Today:
1.5 min Sanguine
1.5 min TWTP

I was thinking about adding in another title today, but common sense prevailed!

New Sanguine…I can sit here and truthfully say I desire to listen to this one every listening day. I think I will listen to it prior to Generator on that next scheduled day, to see if I notice a difference there. I feel it’s been helping keep recon low for my other subs when I listen to it first.

I’d like to have given some time to PN or WB but with my wife soon entering period time, I don’t want to get myself worked up fer nuthin!

Nothing remarkable to report on my end at the moment really. Still getting my rowing goals. I think my physique is improving, but i didn’t take start pictures to have a comparison.

My wife’s Channel of Seeking is flaring at the moment, and her deep dive this time is apparently leading her to the Carnivore Diet. It is quite the change for her. I do find it amusing, as some of what she’s learning for herself I’ve known for years and tried to tell her. She also dodged red meat for a long while when she was younger and we were together, so I find humor there as well.

She took note of it last night and thought I was mocking her, deciding to go to bed instead of hanging out whilst I ate my curry chicken!

There was residual anger this morning. :upside_down_face:

But

I just got an apology on Snap. Opened it and went “holy shit”. Not even an hour had passed since she left for work.

So, that happened. It felt like a result of some kind.

I’ve plans to meditate this morning. I’d like to get to the point where I’m doing 3 workouts and 3 meditations a week. I’m going to aim for 3 and 1 to start. I’m a little more lax with my schedule on listening days, but if I tighten it up a bit I’ll be able to hit the goal with no problem.

:pizza: :pray:t2:

Edit: meditation complete

3 Likes
#413

3/22 Morning Time!

Experimenting today and yesterday with microloops, 30 seconds or less.

Yesterday was 15 secs of Sanguine and PN, 30 seconds of GoodTimes and TWTP
Today I did 15 sec of Sanguine, 30 seconds TWTP, 30 seconds Goodtimes

I may washout from now until April 1st. We’ll see as to the duration or when I really get started. I might put it off until after Monday’s listen of Sanguine and Generator. That would be a week’s worth of “rest”.

Noticeable difference in how people treat me this week at work with bringing some TWTP back in.

Wife get her monthly visitor yesterday, and I’m now past 3 days since last release. I should be able to get a decentish retention streak in! Strange things happen when I allow my magnetism to grow.

I got an email asking if I would be interested in judging a campus competition again this year. I sent that back with an affirmative. The theme is 90’s sitcoms I believe. I should enjoy that.

I got my package from DragonHerbs.com. I had placed an order for Supreme Creation (saving that for tomorrow) and 2 packs of Healer’s Tea.

I tried some …Monday. Not “delicious” but not bad. The effects though!
Have you ever been so parched that upon taking the first swallows of water, you feel hydration spreading throughout your body? Kinda like that, but warmish (I drank it warm) rejuvenating energy.
I brought some into work yesterday for Gymfather to try, and I had one myself.

That’s where I noticed something different from Monday! Mondays I usually don’t take my supplements, but I did yesterday. The combination had me feeling GREAT! Like I was ready to go work out AGAIN (I rowed yesterday morning, hit 7k in 30 min) or go get in a fight!

A great find for this guy! Imma try some more after this streak ends to see how quickly it replenishes that spent energy.

One more day of work and then the weekend!

:pizza: :pray:t2:

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#414

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3 of 3 for the week

10 weeks of workout goals hit

Woot!

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#415

3/27 Morning Time!

Time for an update.

Listened on Monday to Sanguine, Generator, and PN. That order, 2 minutes each. Ceasing sub input until April 1st.

I came down with some weird sickness Sunday night. Maybe it’s not weird, but it was out of the blue. Cough, headaches, bodyaches blah blah blah. It has thrown a wrench into the workout plans for this week. I should go row here in about an hour, but I think that would be too much before work today given how I feel.

I’ll hit 9 days since release tonight. It affects the dice rolls during DnD! We have another session this evening, as the next normal date would be Easter. I know we have at least one combat encounter on deck, so I’m hopeful the dice will land in our favor.

Man, no creative juice flowing today. Sadness.

2 Likes
#416

4/3 Morning Time!

Let’s see.

Monday:
3 min Generator
1 min Sanguine
3 min KBC4

Today:
1.5 min Sanguine
1 min TWTP
30 sec Love Bomb

Still feeling under the weather. Holiday weekend was slooooooooow at work, but over now. My wife and I took our son in for his 3 month follow up, and he’s going to need another surgery, this time for trigger finger. He had just brought the issue up the day before to us, and it looks like this one will get resolved quickly.

I hit all the workout goals last week. It was difficult but I got em. Gotta row again today.

I am feeling frustrated today. Right before bed last night, my wife puts her phone in my face asking “what’s this?” A thing on facebook, a picture of kat dennings that had popped up on her feed that i “liked”.
“I don’t recall liking that.” My response, the truth. I scrolled by that shit, but I didn’t (and wouldn’t) hit the like button.
She stormed off mad. Rolled up on me roughly 10 min later asking if I was ‘looking at bullshit again’. “No”
She went to bed. No words since.

Now shit between us is weird.

2 Likes
#417

Could you resolve it?

#418

I did.

We talked it out a few days later. The ‘picture liking’ was forgiven, and the opportunity to discuss things was used. My wife was not happy that I appear to enjoy the attention I get from other women; accused me of seeking it out. That didn’t work with me as I don’t seek anything out. I have been more observant and I notice more things now, true.

I thought about her words for a time and came back to the point of: At the very least, if the positions were reversed, I would not like it either.

It’s interesting. My brain is telling me that she doesn’t like the WB vibe, that I should switch it up. It appears my wife is more responsive to the LB aura.

The situation has otherwise returned to normal.

3 Likes
#419

and the opportunity to discuss things was used.

Hey cool. I’m glad for you. I like your pragmatic way of viewing problems as an opportunity.

#420

4/10 Morning Time!

I’ve been keeping track of my listening offline, but might as well update here:

wed 4/3
1.5 min Sanguine
1 min TWTP
30 sec LB

fri 4/5
3 min sanguine
30 sec lb
3 min bdlm

mon 4/8
3 min Generator
3 min Sanguine
1.5 min lb

wed 4/10
1.5 min Sanguine
1.5 min LB
5 min BDLM
1.5 RotNW

I’ve been continuing the rowing as well.

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I’m still feeling out the LB aura. It’s different and interesting. Gotta say, I love being able to pick my auric information and ‘set it’. Thanks Sub Club!

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#421

:muscle:t5::muscle:t5::muscle:t5:

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#422

Thank you sir! I am glad that my rowing and recording it here has inspired you in some small way!

I row every single time at resistance level 7 on my machine. 10 is noob, and I did it too for a time. :slight_smile:
I would offer a tip that helped me regarding form: Grasp the handle firmly and hold it as you push off with your legs, but don’t engage your back or arms in pulling until the handle has come back over top your knees. Maybe you got that part down already, but if not, hope it helps. It helped me and my lower back!

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#423

Just got back from doing another one!

Happy.

Thank you for the pointers. I’m not sure how much I’ve integrated that yet, but I’ll be paying attention in two days when I go back!

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