06.04.2025
Sunday
Cycle 3
Listening Day 7
EE 3:00 TR 3:01
08.04.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 3
Listening Day 8
EE 3:00 EoG1 + MT 3:06
Managed to listen according to schedule, not almost a week between listening days .
A part of me wants to run Emperor again. But I’m in the middle of a Khan run, and I’ve promised myself I won’t stop until I finish Stage 4. Maybe things are shifting under the surface—Stage 2 feels quiet, but that doesn’t necessarily mean nothing’s happening. The changes might be subtle or internal, only surfacing when the time is right, or they are so smooth I can’t simply notice them. I’m looking forward to Stage 3 and hoping for more tangible results.
Finding out my teacher was right about me having ADHD changed everything. Right now, I feel caught in an in-between space.
As for work, I know a sales job wouldn’t suit me just now —my brain just can’t handle boring, repetitive tasks. Surprisingly, I’m okay with my gas station job. Sure, it’s low-wage and not glamorous, but it keeps me accountable: if I don’t do something, I still have to finish it later, unpaid. That pressure helps. A similar job with slightly better conditions might be a good next step. I saw a local bakery hiring—basically the same work, just without selling gas, alcohol, or cigarettes. Losing the latter two is a bonus; ID checks are a hassle, and if I should sell to a minor by accident I loose have a months pay for the fine.
From what I’ve seen online, ADHD medication could be a game-changer—like turning a game from hard mode to easy. But the wait for a diagnosis in Germany is insane: 6 months to 2 years. That’s enough to paralyze me into inaction. Private options exist, but we’re talking 500€, plus another 200€ for travel. My dad might support me financially, but even calling him feels like a mountain.
On the subliminal side, Emperor’s Executive has shown promising results—nothing huge yet, but it’s early. Maybe that’s what’s drawing me back to OG Emperor: that unique, commanding energy EE hints at. When I paused Emperor over a year ago, I told myself I’d return.
One thing I miss from Emperor is the push to work out. With Khan, I tried once, got sore for a week, and never picked it back up. The enthusiasm was gone. With Emperor, the drive was consistent.
Still, this craving might just be TR recon. I listened to it yesterday, and now I want to switch subs… maybe it’s time to increase my listening time from 3 to 5 minutes again.
Just counted. 8 listening days with a total exposure of 61:07 minutes of Emperor Executive.
2 Likes
10.04.2025
Thursday
Cycle 3
Listening Day 9
EE 6:18
1 Like
13.04.2025
Sunday
Cycle 3
Listening Day 10
EE 4:21 TR 6:00
15.04.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 3
Listening Day 11
EE 6:38 EoG1:MT 7:00
I just remembered a thought from last year.
Running subs in blind believe.
Not questioning their effectiveness.
Believing they’re working even if I don’t see results.
I noticed that I’ve become to eager for results. That’s why I’ve lost the patience and possibly changed subs more often than I should have.
There were always good reasons when I started a new title. Sometimes I put to much weight on others recommendations even when I didn’t feel it myself.
All it led to was no to slow results (with some subs).
I think everyone knows the feeling when a sub drops and reading the description you realize it’s the perfect sub for your need.
I knew this with EE a few days after finding out about my ADHD. It was the puzzle piece SC was offering to contribute to a solution for my challenges.
I know that I will run EE long time. Possibly EoG as well. Just stage 1, religiously. After I finish my Khan run, I dont know what will happen. Will I find satisfaction in running Khan till stage 4? Will I switch to Emperor again? Will I try Wanted OG if gets updated?
On another note, after the late shift yesterday, I barely slept until 5 when I decided to get up. Only a short nap in the afternoon before heading to work again. Now sleep is taking over while writing. Annoying and welcome at the same time.
21.04.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 1
EE 15:00 TA 7:30
Told my subconscious to ping me as usual, but there was only one ping with TA rather late for a first loop.
25.04.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 2
EE 13:45 EoG:MT 12:12
3 days in-between listening days.
Seems like I needed a few days for processing.
And again long loops which might turn into more processing days.
Half an hour after listening I started to get a mild headache.
1 Like
27.04.2025
Sunday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 3
EE 4:00 TA 4:00
29.04.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 4
EE 4:00 EoG:MT 2:00
Decided consciously for shorter loops.
First, I want faster results.
Secondly, I had a couple of days of real bad sleep. Like falling asleep at 5am, and sleeping only 4 hours in total.
I don’t claim it was caused by the subs, but considering others having trouble with sleeping due to overexposure in EE, I’m not willing to risk it.
1 Like
On another note, there were two major things I noticed.
Firstly, I noticed Eog1 showing its effects. The way I think about money changed.
When I thought about my old and worn T-shirts and my lack of money to buy new ones, I realized that with the money I use to pay my fiancées bills, I could buy more than enough new clothes every month to renew my wardrobe in a matter of months.
I’m not complaining about that. But rather that a second income would elevate our lifestyle tremendously. And not only that. It’s the first time I have this much money.
Not at one point of my earlier life would I have been able to help out my fiancee or spent such an amount.
Also, I’m considering a new job. For a year now, I was without prospects. But now I realized, that even while caring for my grandmother, I can get a job in retail with more hours than at the gas station. Shops all over the area are looking for new people. And I’d guess there are enough complying with my restricted availability.
I considered a bakery. But I’m planing to start a meat based diet soon, so a butchery would probably be better.
Also I renegotiated my payment plan for my coaching training. I now only pay half of what I used to pay. So even more money available. Short term. But you need to life. A little at least.
Secondly, I noticed an upgrade in my executive function.
Might be the combination of Total Action and EE.
After I finished the renegotiations I imedeately set up all future transfers, so I will not fuck this up. As long as theres money on my account, the transfers will be done automatically until I paid every last dime. This was kind of a pain in the ass, since I needed to create 21 seperate transfers with individual transfers with the invoice numbers, but I pulled through.
Same today. I needed to write a letter for our health assurance. I did it imediately. It felt like a bodily pain, but I finished nevertheless. I train to recondition myself to not fear this pain anymore. To work despite the pain. To see change because of the pain.
To lead a happy life because of the pain.
01.05.2025
Thursday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 5
EE 4:00 EoG:MT 4:00
03.05.2025
Saturday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 6
EE 4:00 TA 4:00
06.05.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 7
EE 4:00 EoG:MT 4:00
1 Like
Listened to 30 seconds of Ascendet Love yesterday.
Boy, what a ride.
I need to return to this custom once Ascension is upgraded. I was in so much emotional turmoil yesterday. Combined with my fiancées PMs, that kicked in sooner than expected, my RSD got triggered extremely.
But it showed me that I AM ATMAN still has a lot to work on.
I also listened to Abundance Architect for a few seconds and Debt Annihilatior or perhaps cosmic navigator shone.
I had a conversation with one of my regulars yesterday evening and it was very enlightening.
She gave me the internetadress of an service that helps getting an appointment with a specialist much faster.
Then she also told me that due to a change in regulations, we don’t need to take an official nursing service to get the money from my grandmother’s nursing assurance, but its possible to pay a family friend. That way we could pay someone 25€/hour for helping with household chores, which is a rather good pay, instead of paying the nursing service 28€ for 15 minutes.
So we could get 10h a month instead of 2h.
She also gave me a few tips on possible jobs that pay much better and share the flexibility of my current job.
1 Like
Oh, and I lost 5 lbs since starting my carnivorous diet on Monday. Most is probably water weight, but the numbers on the scale are promising. 5 lbs in three days is a lot.
For the record
On May 5th, we started a meat-based diet.
We eat mostly animal products like meat, cheese, eggs, etc. But also some fruit and honey.
I’m looking for a cyclical ketogenic diet to keep my metabolism flexible.
The last time I went strict carnivore for 2 month I felt absolutely great, had a huge boost in energy and my ADHD symptoms were greatly reduced.
But when I ate normal during Christmas holidays, I felt like shit. My metabolism didn’t like the change at all. I reacted allergic to fruit and stuff for a couple of weeks (I fell of the bandwagon during the holidays and didn’t return to a carnivorous lifestyle afterwards).
So we look for a cyclical approach that should keep us in ketosis for at least three days a week with a window for a few carbohydrates over the weekend that can be expanded to a cheat day, for example when we visit a renfairs or anything other where eating meat only is hard to impossible (on a typical renfair, eating only meat would cost us 100€ which is way to expensive for us atm).
1 Like
09.05.2025
Friday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 8
EE 4:00 TA 5:15
Forgot to activate the sleep timer. When I realized its more than 4 minutes, it was 5:15 already with TA. No recon
11.05.2025
Saturday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 9
EE 4:00 EoG:MT 4:00 AC 4:00
We were on a beautiful Renfair yesterday.
Bought a crown for my princess.
I have the feeling that my financial reserves get depleted. That was a dread torturing me yesterday in the beginning. But surprisingly with bringing our own food it was rather cheap.
Also on a meat-based diet, our appetite is much lower.
We decided to take a cyclical approach to our diet. Three strict days, one ease out, 2 more lax ones, one to ease in and repeat. I hope to keep my metabolism rather flexible that way.
Originally we had planned to stay strict, no mead bear, no grains. But the we found our favorite mead brewer we’ve only seen once before.
He makes the best mead and mead beer.
Later we even had a few grain based snacks.
Whatever…
It was nice.
I also got a new determination to find a better job asap.
Also, I’m building two customs at the moment.
Each one around my long time titles: EE and EoG1.
The first one is strategically build to cover all my ADHD challenges, healing (probably not the right word) my brain and getting my shit together.
-
Emperor Executive Core
The most essential sub for any ADHD brain. It covers dozens of angles to work on executive dysfunction. I know I need to run this baby long time. -
Quantum Limitless 1 Core
Supporting EE in restructuring my brain. I can’t imagine what this will lead to after 9 months -
New Physical Shifting Experience Core
A lot of ADHD is brain chemistry. From neurotransmitters to and underdeveloped Cerebellum. So I put in a lot to change my biological setup. I will wait for answer from support though, before I put this one into a custom. -
Essence: Total War
I see Life as a war right now. Enemies everywhere. Health insurance, IRS, job market, my coaching trainer, my ADHD. Fights where ever I look. I need a strategic approach to change my life. I’m still not sure if AoW or its essence is applicable for this use case, but if support is agreeing, it’s going in. -
Epigenetics and DNA modulator
ADHD has a strong genetic component. If I am able to battle it, and maybe even change my epigenetic settings, this might be life-changing for my offspring, if I’m happy enough to have some. This one is especially important since ADHD seems to run in both my parents families and in my fiancees as well. -
Synergy: Preordained Vitality
It’s a health custom, basically, so I need any support I can get. Also my family will profit from radiating health. -
Pragya
Optimizing my brain for better sub processing. I often feel like my brain is not in the best state to run subs. There are subs I don’t feel at all. DRLD, Phoenix,… No results, no recon. Only overload at a point. But that’s a different issue. -
Organization perfect
My flat is a mess. And once I’ve cleaned up for a couple of hours and everything looks neat. A few days later it looks like someone threw a few handgranates in every room. -
Synergy: Apollon Unbound
I suffer from feeling unattractive. One of the side effects of ADHD and all the bullying. Since this custom has a focus on physical shifting, this one should fit in well. -
Khronos Key
I have no feeling for time. I know “not now” and “now”. But planning my time is usually a gamble. Also motivation is not existent if a boring tasks takes some time. This one should help. Our pros liked it a lot in the past. -
Power of sacrifice
ADHD brains tend to do what gives dopamine. Even if it’s bad for your life, your health, your career, your finances. If I can learn to sacrifice the bad cravings it’s a huge step forward. -
Synergy: At the top
Same as with Apollon Unbound. I feel like I need a much more masculine way of behavior. -
Singularity’s Paradox
Lots of paradoxes in a ADHD life. You want to do something but can’t get yourself to do it.
Basically every aspect of my life is filled with this kind a paradoxes. -
Synergy: Machine Totality
Might be to overkill with EE but I’m running it in my name embedded EoG and I start feeling it. Especially Deep sleep. It’s not perfect, but much better than half a year ago. -
Dopaminergic Revival
A part of me is still unsure about this one. I won it already. But ADHD brains and Dopamine have a special relationship. Need more research and pondering l. -
Synergy subconscious mastery
To make the process even smoother. -
Virtue Series: Diligence
To get myself to work on dopamine free tasks out of pure Dilligence.
These two are still in consideration, but only very recently.
-
APS Head or Synergy Head Face
I don’t know if APS Head can help with rewiring the brain. It helps against headaches, but can it help with building my Cerebellum?
And if it can do so, I might take the synergy instead to round off Apollon Unbound. -
Empath
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is a nightmare. Whenever someone in my immediate environment feels bad, I do as well. A part of me thinks it’s my fault, and the part that knows that that is not the case feels simply bad.
Empath is designed to protect you from overwhelming yourself with the emotions of others
This might help. But I feel like there’s a better option. But I can’t remember the module.
.
The one around EoG1 is similar to my Abundance Architect, only more open and no HoM I've never run before. Since I'm feeling the effect of EoG1 already, I think this one will work a lot better than AA.
-
EoG1 Core
The base of everything. I plan to listen to this title at least till the end of the year. That’s why I’ve chosen it for a custom. -
New Wealth Experience Core
I own it, but I’m not sure if it’s necessary. -
Synergy The Golden One
I own it, and I need it. So much treasures combined into one golden synergy module. -
Job seeker
In AA this bad boy delivered 3 job offers in a couple of weeks. Since I’m looking for a great improvement, this one is paramount. -
Anti recon
I don’t feel any recon on most titles. But being more conscious about it will hopefully help for faster improvements. -
Safety Net
A new module, but I feel like I need more safety. I crave it. Not struggling from day to day. -
Synergy Wonders of Life
I have this beautiful card deck from Alberto Villoldo “The Soul Oracle”. When I asked them about my career, I got “The magic”. Stating that I don’t feel the magic in my life anymore, that I lost the trust in God/fate. And I agree. In the past I felt guided on every step. And I want this back. Had this in Ascendet Love, but didn’t use it long enough to really feel it. Time to bring it back.
In this custom it has enough time to come through. -
- Cashflow Catalyst
I have so many talents, but can’t profit from them. This should help to change it.
- Cashflow Catalyst
-
- AI Whisperer
We love in a time where AI is only beginning. Being able to use AI will be a deciding factor if you rise to the top or sink to the ground.
- AI Whisperer
-
Synergy: Divine Dominion
Also a regular in my customs. Never felt it, but I’m determined to make it work. -
Cosmic Navigator
Part of AA. Worked. A tiny bit. Room for improvement. -
- Synergy 42
Third custom. Now I wanna try this bad bad boy.
A part of me is still considering if I should only choose a focus module instead, but if I ran it longtime and start slow, it should work.
- Synergy 42
-
- The way of ROI
Also for my ADHD. To make the most out of my time.
- The way of ROI
-
Synergy: Voice is the law
Probably mostly for pleasure. I’m a singer, a reader and I think of myself as someone who knows to use his voice. With this module I’ve felt results in weeks.
The rest is still in consideration
-
Synergy: Carpe Vitam
Had it in AA. Wonderful description but I didnt feel it at all. Probably because of my ADHD my brain works differently. Want to try it again.
Perhaps I was just to taxed from HoM to feel it? -
Synergy: Winner Overdrive
Same here. -
Singularities Paradox Wealth
I feel a lot of paradoxes in my financial mindset. I think I should choose it, but feel unsure. -
Essence Alchemy of money
Totally unsure about this one. Do I need this? Is this one helpful if you’re broke and basically jobless?
Both customs would cost me around 411€.
More than I can invest right now. But since I own a lot of modules for the EoG1 custom, it would only be like 165€ for a few new modules and build.
The other one still has time, especially since I’m waiting for a rebalanced Emperor Executive with Anti Recon scripting.
I guess I’ll wait one or two more weeks to see if they release anything ground breaking, like another module pack.
If anyone has suggestions for the customs, or simply comments, let me know.
1 Like
After one week of a meat based diet I noticed that my appetite decreased immensely.
Yesterday I had five eggs, a bit of cheese, two sausages, a bit of pork roast plus some kind of bread in a stick rolled in cinnamon and sugar.
Today two eegs as breakfast, a bit if pork roast, cheese and salad. Relative tiny portion.
Two pieces of fruit cake for coffee and that’s it.
Tomorrow I’ll return to a grain free diet.
1 Like
One week of meat based is over.
I started with 111.7kg.
Now I’m at 108.4kg.
That is 3.3 kg or 8.3 lbs.
A lot of it will be water weight, but not all of it. Especially since I ate some renfair snacks and mother’s day cake and more carbs over the weekend.
After a lengthy conversation with ChatGPt, it seems like I’ve lost around 1kg of fat, around 2kg of water and glykogen and some bowel residue.
1kg in the first week isn’t bad.
1 Like
Today was a day of action.
Started early with cleaning out yard.
Most of our yard is paved with asphalt, but in several areas along the edges, it is laid with natural stone and grouted. At the transitions, there is a narrow gap everywhere where dandelions and other plants keep growing.
After removing the plants, I started deep cleaning the gap with our pressure washer.
That led to cleaning the natural stones with it as well and removing this dark layer that often builds over the years.
When I was done I mopped our basement that was flooded partly from a leaking connection of the hose.
I was working 7h straight with just some minor breaks. Then I showered and went to work at the gas station.
I also planned to look for a better job this week, as well as working through all the unopened letters that are piling on my desk.
I feel EE and TA in action.
Also I was highly tempted to eat some fries after I returned from work, but decided for some raw pork sausage. Not as satisfying as fries would have been, but good enough. And I didn’t need to break my diet.
2 Likes
14.05.2025
Wednesday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 10
EE 4:00 TA 5:15
Another two very active days.
Yesterday I finished cleaning the yard.
Got severe sunburn when I worked without a shirt. But it will be a beautiful tan in a few days.
Today I went for a long walk in the forest and in the evening I did a few hours of gardening.
I like spending time in nature.
Perhaps I should run CWoN at a point.
Perhaps once it’s updated.
After reading a comment from @Spartan on the effectiveness of QTKS for physical shifting, I felt a new pressure to get a better job so I can afford my planned Anti-ADHD-Custom in QTKS (after one or two cycles with a regular one).
I can’t see a better incentive or worthy cause for a physical shifting custom in my condition.
But first I need to finish writing the ticket with all the questions that are still open.
Funny Story from two weeks ago.
I took my fiancee to a Shisha Bar.
At first we were served rather quickly.
The shisha, drinks and snacks arrived within the first 20 minutes.
But then, nothing. No waiter showed up. There were two of them and only 5 tables had guests.
When one of them showed up, he only went to a table with 5 lightly clothed girls. We were thirsty and wanted to order another round of drinks. I tried waving, calling them but they didn’t notice me.
At a point it was enough and I simply called them by phone and started to order. It seems like I had the owner on the line and he was like “Are you joking?” When I confirmed I’m serious and that I’d like to order something he said he’d send out a waiter right away.
From that point onwards they started checking in on all the customers regularly.
It was so satisfying.
In the past, I would have quietly accepted they’re ignorance, but something deeper seems to have changed. I can’t accept this kind of behavior anymore from someone getting paid by me.
1 Like
16.05.2025
Friday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 11
EE 4:00 EoG1MT 12:00 AA 0:30 Sanguine 0:30
A lot more yard work today.
No more sitting around idle, doing nothing.
Not the most important thing I need to do, but it is still better than just wasting my time.
Around 10am I got a call from my mother, asking for a photo of her asthma spray, because her blood pressure went through the roof.
She was almost crying because she was so in fear of dying (a lot happened this year, her health went downwards fast in the last couple of weeks: arthritis, asthma, no energy)
I was in panic mode as well after the call. So I decided it was time for some Sanguine. 30 seconds. Half an hour later I felt a deep calmness and security that she will be well again.
When she arrives after her dialysis, she was in tears. She hugged me and said “everything’s ok”.
Again, she “only” had four liters of water in her stomach, keeping the lungs from expanding and putting pressure on the heart.
Half of the water is gone now, and Monday they’ll remove the second half. She feels much better already.
From this short experience of Sanguine I think it might help a lot with Manifestation because of the calmness and the trust it brings forth.
Last listening Day of the cycle. Went by super fast. Now a short break, and next cycle I’ll start with Khan Stage 4 (it contains stage 3 after all).
Perhaps I’ll create my EoG1 custom soon.
But I’ll wait at least until the release of AEON and HLB. Who knows what theyll drop along the line.
That’s though man I’m sorry you and your mom have to go through such a thing. I see why you would use Elixir. Did you consider offering her paragon?