06.04.2025
Sunday
Cycle 3
Listening Day 7
EE 3:00 TR 3:01
08.04.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 3
Listening Day 8
EE 3:00 EoG1 + MT 3:06
Managed to listen according to schedule, not almost a week between listening days .
A part of me wants to run Emperor again. But I’m in the middle of a Khan run, and I’ve promised myself I won’t stop until I finish Stage 4. Maybe things are shifting under the surface—Stage 2 feels quiet, but that doesn’t necessarily mean nothing’s happening. The changes might be subtle or internal, only surfacing when the time is right, or they are so smooth I can’t simply notice them. I’m looking forward to Stage 3 and hoping for more tangible results.
Finding out my teacher was right about me having ADHD changed everything. Right now, I feel caught in an in-between space.
As for work, I know a sales job wouldn’t suit me just now —my brain just can’t handle boring, repetitive tasks. Surprisingly, I’m okay with my gas station job. Sure, it’s low-wage and not glamorous, but it keeps me accountable: if I don’t do something, I still have to finish it later, unpaid. That pressure helps. A similar job with slightly better conditions might be a good next step. I saw a local bakery hiring—basically the same work, just without selling gas, alcohol, or cigarettes. Losing the latter two is a bonus; ID checks are a hassle, and if I should sell to a minor by accident I loose have a months pay for the fine.
From what I’ve seen online, ADHD medication could be a game-changer—like turning a game from hard mode to easy. But the wait for a diagnosis in Germany is insane: 6 months to 2 years. That’s enough to paralyze me into inaction. Private options exist, but we’re talking 500€, plus another 200€ for travel. My dad might support me financially, but even calling him feels like a mountain.
On the subliminal side, Emperor’s Executive has shown promising results—nothing huge yet, but it’s early. Maybe that’s what’s drawing me back to OG Emperor: that unique, commanding energy EE hints at. When I paused Emperor over a year ago, I told myself I’d return.
One thing I miss from Emperor is the push to work out. With Khan, I tried once, got sore for a week, and never picked it back up. The enthusiasm was gone. With Emperor, the drive was consistent.
Still, this craving might just be TR recon. I listened to it yesterday, and now I want to switch subs… maybe it’s time to increase my listening time from 3 to 5 minutes again.
Just counted. 8 listening days with a total exposure of 61:07 minutes of Emperor Executive.
2 Likes
10.04.2025
Thursday
Cycle 3
Listening Day 9
EE 6:18
1 Like
13.04.2025
Sunday
Cycle 3
Listening Day 10
EE 4:21 TR 6:00
15.04.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 3
Listening Day 11
EE 6:38 EoG1:MT 7:00
I just remembered a thought from last year.
Running subs in blind believe.
Not questioning their effectiveness.
Believing they’re working even if I don’t see results.
I noticed that I’ve become to eager for results. That’s why I’ve lost the patience and possibly changed subs more often than I should have.
There were always good reasons when I started a new title. Sometimes I put to much weight on others recommendations even when I didn’t feel it myself.
All it led to was no to slow results (with some subs).
I think everyone knows the feeling when a sub drops and reading the description you realize it’s the perfect sub for your need.
I knew this with EE a few days after finding out about my ADHD. It was the puzzle piece SC was offering to contribute to a solution for my challenges.
I know that I will run EE long time. Possibly EoG as well. Just stage 1, religiously. After I finish my Khan run, I dont know what will happen. Will I find satisfaction in running Khan till stage 4? Will I switch to Emperor again? Will I try Wanted OG if gets updated?
On another note, after the late shift yesterday, I barely slept until 5 when I decided to get up. Only a short nap in the afternoon before heading to work again. Now sleep is taking over while writing. Annoying and welcome at the same time.
21.04.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 1
EE 15:00 TA 7:30
Told my subconscious to ping me as usual, but there was only one ping with TA rather late for a first loop.
25.04.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 2
EE 13:45 EoG:MT 12:12
3 days in-between listening days.
Seems like I needed a few days for processing.
And again long loops which might turn into more processing days.
Half an hour after listening I started to get a mild headache.
1 Like
27.04.2025
Sunday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 3
EE 4:00 TA 4:00
29.04.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 4
Listening Day 4
EE 4:00 EoG:MT 2:00
Decided consciously for shorter loops.
First, I want faster results.
Secondly, I had a couple of days of real bad sleep. Like falling asleep at 5am, and sleeping only 4 hours in total.
I don’t claim it was caused by the subs, but considering others having trouble with sleeping due to overexposure in EE, I’m not willing to risk it.
1 Like