Parsifals Khanquering of the Holy Grail in 2025

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#41

06.02.2025
Thursday
Cycle 2
Listening Day 2
TR 9:40 EoG1 9:40

Forgot to listen the day before.
Or did I unconsciously know that I need a day more for processing?

Again I listened with the intend that I know when to stop for best results. Both subs with 9:40.
Without looking at the app so I didn’t know the time.

Today is Saturday already.

After running the subs I immediately felt a pressure in my head. Nothing to bad, not even discomforting.
I did my acquisition block 1 right after, then left for the gas station. When I returned at 11pm, I continued with my second acquisition block. After that I felt an inner turmoil and couldn’t get myself to go to bed. Only at 4am I feel asleep.

Yesterday, I slept till 11, got up and had a terrible headache. Not nearly as bad as when I over listened to TB, but it wasn’t nice. I slept a couple of hours in the afternoon. When I woke up, the headache was better but still not completly gone.
But I noticed I needed to burp heavily over the evening. For me, that is usually a sign that my subconscious solved some deep issues and I have this eveytime I work with the coaching techniques I’ve learned.

Woke up a lot this night, still noticing the headache. When I woke up this morning, I felt better than the whole week and the headache is finally gone.
I even had the impulse to work even before breakfast.

I feel the effects of both subs very directly. Performance wise I’m still struggling to get to work in time so I often work until late in the morning, but it’s my best week this year so far. I reached the bare minimum numbers on Friday already.
So the discipline of Khan is kicking in with the dissolved blocks from EoG1.

For that, I’m seriously considering a EoG1 + S:Machine. Totality name embed.

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#42

I just remembered a dream from tonight. Not much but an interesting fact.

I was in our bedroom but it was much bigger than it actually is. And it had a lot of furniture, especially chairs and lamps. I wanted to get rid of lots of it.

Chat GPT analysis

Your dream carries strong symbolic meaning from both a spiritual and depth-psychological perspective.

Depth-Psychological Interpretation (Jungian Approach)

The bedroom represents your innermost self—your most private and personal inner world. The fact that it is huge suggests that your inner space is vast and full of potential, but perhaps also overwhelming or chaotic.

The excessive amount of furniture, especially chairs and lamps, can symbolize different psychological aspects:

Chairs often represent social roles, positions, or perspectives you adopt. Having so many might indicate that you carry multiple identities or expectations of yourself, some of which may no longer be relevant but still take up “space” in your psyche.

Lamps symbolize consciousness, insight, and awareness. The abundance of them could mean that you are deeply engaged in self-reflection, but perhaps trying to shed light on too many aspects at once, which might feel overwhelming.

Your frustration and desire to get rid of these objects indicate an inner cleansing process. You want to let go of unnecessary mental or emotional baggage rather than just physical clutter. This suggests that you may be carrying too many inner concepts, old beliefs, or outdated self-perceptions that no longer serve you. Your subconscious is urging you to release them in order to gain clarity and ease.

Spiritual Interpretation

From a spiritual perspective, the huge bedroom symbolizes the expansion of your inner world and awareness. A large space often represents growth and spiritual evolution. However, the fact that it is filled with unnecessary things suggests that old patterns, attachments, or excess mental baggage may be preventing you from fully embracing your spiritual journey.

Your urge to declutter reflects a readiness for a deeper purification process. This dream could be inviting you to ask yourself:

What in your life or mindset is holding you back?

Which old structures or habits are outdated?

Are there things you are holding onto that no longer serve your growth?

The duplicated, triplicated, and quadruplicated furniture may suggest that certain themes or patterns keep repeating in your life. Perhaps you are dealing with the same questions or challenges on different levels. The dream may be encouraging you to recognize and break these cycles.

Summary & Possible Action Steps

Psychological Meaning: You may be holding onto too many old roles, self-images, or mental concepts that are weighing you down.

Spiritual Meaning: Your awareness is expanding, but attachments are hindering your progress.

Actionable Steps: Consider reflecting on what you need to release in your thinking, habits, or life. This could be through meditation, self-inquiry, or even physical decluttering as a symbolic act of inner purification.

This dream suggests that you are at a point where inner liberation is needed. It’s a good opportunity to make space for new growth.

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#43

08.02.2025
Saturday
Cycle 2
Listening Day 3
AL 11:00 ME 15:00

Today is the day after. Sunday.

Despite the focus on Khan and EoG I felt like a needed a short break from those two so they can be processed a bit longer.

Usually I only microloop ME and get a ping rather soon. Yesterday it was missing completely, so I went with a full loop.

ATTENTION: ANGER VENT BELOW

Today I feel highly irritated. But unlike in the past, where others complained about it, today I noticed it pretty early on. Almost every word from others made me blow up. Even an honest thank you. So I retracted myself rather soon after lunch.

I feel this anger boiling. It’s not pleasant. I feel like watching some anime alone.

But I also know that I can’t just numb the anger. Of course I could. But I can’t since I want to work through this stuff. But I don’t see shouting at family or fiancee seriously help. I’m just to confused how to work with this anger.

Sport? We have a little home gym. But I’ve just eaten. I’m seriously confused. I want to change something. Another part just want to distract myself with anime, gaming or whatever. Nope, not whatever. Porn etc is not on the menu. No temptation in that direction.

At least that’s a good sign. A year ago, this was still my go to coping mechanism with complicated feelings.

Edit
Still asking me where this came from.

TR? Rage was aobvious on TB at least.
But last loop was three days ago.

AL?

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#44

How about a good old screaming session, it might not be practical due to people living in the same house but hey you gotta do what you gotta do to be a better person!

2 Likes
#45

@Parsifal,

That was a brave admission. I know you’ll work it out soon enough, getting out the steam in some way.

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#46

It’s my guess that those long loops eventually begin digging in, and BAM! Anger, rage, all the piecework of grief…body slam you. The scripting is in you to make changes. But now it’s at 10x to 15x intensity levels.

That’s why I don’t play with longer loops. I get plenty to process on shorter loops.

For example, many thought DR was too rough for me. I just felt like a failure.

But the very first week I began doing 5 minute loops (my 3rd run of DR), it was… easy. Boring, by comparison. I did only 5 minute loops of any subs after that, and I completely lost the belief that “some subs are too hard for me”.

5 minute loops dug in much deeper as well… without all the long-loop hell. Stage 1 of DR became a very positive experience. Life was easier. A lot easier.

To make room for possible recon on Total Breakdown, I began with 3 minute loops. No stress from overload at all. Plenty from the scripting :wink:

Subliminal overload is one nasty result I’d never want my harshest enemies to experience. That delayed bloom seems to be kicking your tail right now.

What is it you want out of this experience (after recon)?

#47

I could never answer this question when I was in recon. I’d try occasionally, but it was bluffing out of fear of rejection.

Not until the fear began melting did I begin finding answers.

Growth can’t be microwaved.

#48

A few weeks ago I started another audiobook. It was right after I finished the commented Version of Eschenbachs Parzival.

I chose The Dragonbone Chair by Ted Williams. I don’t know what led me to this book. I listened to the first volume years ago and only remembered that it had a very slow beginning.

But I discovered many synchronicities since then. The old King dying at the beginning is called John Presbyter. That’s also a mythical King outside of Williams Ostenard Saga. And he’s the grandson of Parzival.
There are quite a few borrowings from Eschenbachs Parzival in Ted Williams books.
It felt like a sign from heaven that I chose the right book.

I don’t remember much about the story, like I remember a dream. Only some cloudy images are left.
But I sense treason everywhere.

Now I don’t know if this is just from my subconscious remembering everything or if it is a message from my subconscious.
Or if my subconscious chose this book to deliver a message to my conscious self.

We’ll see.

Right now, I feel so much turmoil, even fear about the treason, that I feel unable to keep on listening. I know that it will have a good ending. But being stabbed in the back is a thought I can’t endure right now.
I need to understand what the connection to my inner struggles is. It feels like there is a hidden gem shining through the muddy water.

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#49

@Parsifal, I’m sorry for annoying you. I thought I’d share some valuable experiences I’ve had. It’s based on one of those overused statements here. However, I’ve found it to be true.

Less is more.

What’s my experience? First, that last run of DR stated above. I did 5 minute loops, running it MWF. I did that simply because some big names here had experimented with the “weekends off” schedule, and recon was much less.

Something I’ve not seen guys mentioning much lately is how allowing more time off subs actually increases its integration and activation into your psyche. Years back, some users were of the mindset that “MORE!” was best. They persisted, demanding stronger subs (I listened at least 12 hours a day back then, pre-ZP). Saint and Fire fired back. And experience from many found they had BETTER results when not overloading themselves.

I had that epiphany my first couple of weekends off DR. Running DR quickly became enjoyable and desirable. In contrast to that, when doing subs at full loops every other day, listening became a chore for me. Like…“WhyTF am I doing this?” No joy. No fun. Just pure habit and hope of relief. And daily emotional turbulence within. It was a hellish ritual I endured for months. Because, you know, “healing’s hard!” So I did it. But the newer routine healed me, like my belief that good things could actually come my way.

And taking that same MWF schedule, I had this weekend off. What do you know? I realized I was needing some kind of self-love. And…I’m on Khan St.2. Love? Really? Where’d that come from?

I still can’t put the pieces together, but F it, I’m going with LBFH as my second sub tomorrow morning. I found some hope by writing it out, contemplating outcomes and possibilities, and I’m in.

It’s good enough for me. Actually, it’s GREAT. I had a fantastic weekend in my own head. Truly. Growth was natural and easy. So, I’ll keep this routine.

If it makes any difference, changing my listening amounts with DR kept me from bailing on using subliminals, thinking I couldn’t handle them. Too much is too much. I’ve got another choice, and it’s working for me.

I know you’ll find what works for you.

#50

Started working out yesterday. Finally.

Planned to do this for months but always procrastinated.

I think Khan is doing it’s thing here.

Simply asked a FitnessGPT for a simple training plan, described my situation, and possibilities with my small home gym.

Today I feel I my sore muscles all over: arm, breast, butt, legs.

I think I need to study this more. Which exercises to pick, how to rotate them etc.
Only I don’t know where to start.

#51
#52

If the only change in your stack rotation is a longer loop of ME, that could be contributing. I know it seemed to synergize really well for me with Chosen helping me to express that sub. It has scripting in it to help you relax and get closer to your SC mind to make visualization easier. Maybe it’s boosting the scripting in Khan.

What I think is more interesting than the question of what caused your recon is the emotions you experienced. My intuitive read from scanning your posts is that the anger and the abandoned child realisation you had could be related. The one is often a reaction to the other.

Although I don’t know what will work for you to process, I know of one technique that is supposed to help with issues connected with the solar plexus. Here it is, I’m pretty sure this is not his invention as I’ve seen this elsewhere before. If you can do it with full commitment it can be really effective. Because of the way the technique works I reckon it would be well matched with Khan/TB.

#53

If the recommended training plan feels too hard, tell it to simplify & only include compound movements for now. Then you slowly add more reps/sets/movements going forward until you can follow the original plan.

Start with this:
Learn 1 compound movement that pushes upwards (military press, handstand pushup etc)
1 horizontal/downward push (bench press, push up, dip etc)
1 vertical pull (pull up etc)
1 horizontal pull (rowing etc)
1 legs (squat etc)
Deadlift or anything that hits your lower back.

Those movements are great starting points to learn from. They’re as basic as you can get.
After that, you can start learning isolation movements for the other muscle groups after you’ve become accustomed to them. Chest flys, curls etc. Then modify, add or remove the compound movements you started with something that fits your needs better. etc etc. But all of that can start later whenever you’re ready for more.

#54

I’m working at the Gas station and I just noticed speach patterns or rather variations in my voice that sound insecure. Now I can instinctively work to reduce this.

Khan is improving rapidly with Total Reprogramming.

I’m kinda in awe seeing Khan unfold.

#55

10.02.2025
Saturday
Cycle 2
Listening Day 4
PR 3:00

Primal Romance hit fast.
I ran it together with my fiancee late afternoon.
When I returned from work around 11pm, we had a short conversation about sex. And while talking I realized that what I am missing most isn’t the carnal dimension or the orgasm (of course I miss that as well) but the intimacy, the closeness, the experience of being one instead of two.
To totally loose myself in her and in the moment.
The connection that goes beyond connection.

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#56

Sometimes the when the old self tries its damn hardest to to stop us from moving forward, becuase it is no longer being energized the same way as before, it projects fear into us moving forward and succeeding. When we associate moving forward with fear and success, the mind would try to avoid that fear by avoiding success.

How long are your loops/micro loops btw?

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#57

I don’t know which post you’re referring to, but listening times are always mentioned in the header of listening day posts.

PR was 3 minutes.

Usually I telly subconscious to tell my subconscious my goals and that it should tell me when to stop to avoid major recon.
This method works pretty well for me.
Sometimes I get a “ping” after 2-3 minutes, sometimes I listen to a full loop (happened recently with EoG1 and ME).

And yes, I know that I fear success because I never experienced it. But I think KhanTR and EoG1 will solve this.

#58

I don’t know what this is.
I’m totally emotional at the moment.
As I was planning for my birthday I was looking for a good Japanese restaurant to hit after the sauna. But there isn’t one without driving for over another hour. Not willing to do that after a whole day of sauna.
No biggie I thought. Let’s switch to Chinese instead. That’s when the frustration began. No good Chinese restaurant available anymore. Not without driving for over 90 minutes.
I checked out all the good Chinese restaurants I used to visit in the past. They’re all gone.
Instead everywhere are this Asian fusion restaurants that offer Chinese, Thai and of course, sushi. Than most of these restaurants offer a buffet. That’s usually a sign for quantity over quality. I even considered driving to the town I lived for ten years, eat there in my favorite Chinese restaurant, perhaps meeting some old friends. But it has closed as well. There’s now a Thai place that offers sushi.

I’m seriously pissed and angry.

I know that this isn’t really the issue. There needs to be something deeper that is getting worked on. I just can’t figure out what it is yet.

A few minutes ago, I tried to dive into this emotion and suddenly I felt like crying but couldn’t.

This is so strange. I never felt like this before.

I trust the process that it’s something good.

#59

12.02.2025
Wednesday
Cycle 2
Listening Day 5
PR 3:33

I’m considering running PR for a full cycle. I’ll be dropping AL for that time, allowing it to bloom after 3 full cycles. Then I’ll go back to AL.

@Viktor what’s your thought on this?

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#60

Sounds good.

I’m interested in how the 3 cycle break will influence AL’s effects on you.

How long have you been using AL btw?

I did write about the benefit of 1-3 month break from a sub after 4-5 months of continuous use. But that range is still a hypothesis i came up with based on the patterns i saw with my own subliminal use. It’d be great if we can gather more diverse data.