Parsifals Khanquering of the Holy Grail in 2025

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#231

I just realized one of my biggest challenges on ADHD is planning long term.
Right now, I can’t do that.
I can make plans short term.
Like for the day or the next couple of weeks.
But setting a clear goal for what I want to achieve in life and then work on this goal is something I just can’t do.

I knew this for a long time, but now it hit me quite obviously.

But how can I change that?
If there’s no dopamin in it, I can’t get myself to do it.

Just recently, when I didn’t write in here, I spent hundreds of hours on a mobile game. Because its high dopamine.
Also I realized while gaming, that it’s a territory thing. Everyone strives for a territory. Be it his family, his job, his company, his gym, whatever.
A place where you are validated by others.
I had it in this game again.
I was an officer in a top 5 Alliance.
And a top 40 player on our server.

But what I’d really need is a real life territory.
But how can I get there?
The addictive thing about games is how easy you make progress. How fast you reach milestones. Especially in competition with others.
In real life however, everything needs a lot more time and the outcome is unsure.

When starting a business, you’ll easily spend more time on it than I spent on my game. And it’s probable that you don’t see any success at all during this time.
How is my ADHD brain supposed to make it through this period?

I mean I struggle with finding a proper job because the search is tiring.

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#232

12.10.2025
Sunday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 3
GB RoS GLM 3 minutes each

#233

Considering a complete overhaul of my stack.
Adding in Wanted, Fire and Regeneration
Dropping GLM (for Regeneration), EE (for Fire), and GB (for Wanted).
It’s not decided as of yet, but it feels like that I want to do these changes.

Regeneration will probably bring what I wanted from GLM, only with more focus and additional bonuses.

Fire is a different approach to the same topic EE covers. According to one post in LTB thread, it dissolved some obstacles I wrestle with and that EE wasn’t able to solve since I started it when it was released.

I’ve spent now ten months on EoG1. First as mainstore title, then as Name Embedded and finally as a custom in GB.
I didn’t see major changes from it. I’m a bit disappointed tbh. But my guess is, that a lot changed already subconsciously, but due to my ADHD I can’t act on it.

So I’ll give EoG some time to bloom and add Wanted. I wanted to run Wanted for a long time, but the new update has so many features that make it seem like it’s an ideal preparation for my next KB run next year.

These ideas aren’t finalized as of yet, but things I’ll ponder about some time now.

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#234

Oh, that’s impressive. I bet you’ve cleared a lot of garbage in the background because of it

#235

I’ve been on EoG1 since it’s release in early 2025 in one form or another (major title, NE, Custom).
And it was transformative.
I didn’t notice it because the change was happening so slowly.
But be it debt management or using possibilities I ignored before, I know have more money than ever before.
It’s still not that much, but now I’m close to poverty line. As before I had way less.
These days I can treat me and my fiancee with going out to eat or the cinema without worrying to much and still be able to save a bit for emergencies.

From time to time I catch a glimpse at my ingrained money believes and understand that a lot has changed. My scarcity mindset is slowly melting. I truly believe that it can be easy to make decent money (once the ADHD is treated). I’m looking towards the future full of hope.

Also, I now have a realistic plan to get my ADHD diagnosis and medication.
I think this will be a major turning point as well because I realized the biggest obstacle in the wealth department for me is lack of dopamine.
I can’t find any dopamine in looking for a better job, or applying for it. On medication this should all be way easier.
And once I can get myself to actively work on money issues, things will probably speed up dramatically.

I’m also looking into alternative theories about ADHD and treating the body, hoping to solve this issue for good.

I’ve spent two years with sub club and seems more and more like they were a cataclysmic period in the most beautiful way.
Step by step I was lead to the discovery that I’m not broken for good but I’m simply suffering from ADHD which is treatable today.
Also reading the threads in here, it seems like the subs work better, faster and dig deeper once on medication, so I’m really looking forward to this.

Only two days ago, @CurlyGirl sent me two videos of an ADHD guy on medication. He makes beautiful almost philosophical content.
He said he struggled his whole life, only to survive. Now, on medication, life is easy and one year later he makes already way above average and leads a life he never dared to dream a few years before.
I’m ready for that change.

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Main Disc. Thread - The NEW Ecstasy of Gold (2025 - Now Available!)
#236

15.10.2025
Wednesday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 4
Fire RoS Wanted 3 minutes each

17.10.2025
Friday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 5
Fire Wanted 3 minutes each

20.10.2025
Monday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 6
Fire 3 Wanted 7.5

I don’t know if gaming helps the uptake of subliminal input, but since I’m in a flow state, I don’t feel time. That’s how I ended up with 7.5 minutes of Wanted instead of three.
But no side effects so far.

I need to be more consistent with my journaling. It’s getting really hard to remember listening times and dates.

I bought Wanted on a hunch. I felt drawn towards Wanted even before the update.
Not because of seduction, but because of the selflove and selfacceptance scripting.
With the update the healing through intimacy scripting delivered another huge argument for Wanted.
Physical Shifting is a nice bonus on top.

Now I’m waiting for the New DR: Regeneration.

I still plan to run KB next year. The plans to beginn the new year with KB changed due to the promised update. So I’ll wait until then.

Also I’m not sure about the EE custom I’m working on. What should I add?
Originally I planned on using QL1 for brain development.
Another part said use Khan Total Action instead.
Or maybe Fire?

On another topic, I finally managed to call my father about my ADHD diagnosis. Today, more than ever, it was quite obvious, that he has ADHD as well.
And he agreed to pay for a private diagnosis, which should get me a diagnosis within months, where I wasn’t able to even get an appointment for months through the insurance paid doctors.
That also leaves us with enough funds to pay for my fiancees diagnosis on our own.
I’m super hyped atm.

2 Likes
#237

Yesterday in the evening I went grocery shopping with @CurlyGirl
When we were done, she asked me if I still wanted to go to the Shisha bar as I proposed earlier that day.
But surprisingly I wasn’t that sure anymore.
After some time I agreed and we went to the Shisha bar. When my fiancee went to the toilet I checked the forum and discovered that new Regeneration was released and read the first few features descriptions.
Soon after I felt an immense sadness arise in me. I sat in the Shisha bar, smoking a nice Shisha, celebrating that my father agreed to pay for my diagnosis and felt so sad that I almost cried.
My first thought was actually precon.
Later on I realized it might have been an emotional bubble that surfaced and was probably released due to me/us probably being able to start a new life soonish.

2 Likes
#238

I want to go shopping with my fiancee right nowish.
But I spent my time in here.
When I asked myself why I do this, I realized that it’s because of I don’t know what to wear, how to dress for the occasion. So I distract myself.

Is this Wanted at work, shedding light on this beliefs? Feels good to recognize how this all works.

#239
#240

22.10.2025
Wednesday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 6
Regen 3:14

24.10.2025
Friday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 6
Regen 3:00

A few interesting things happened today.
As I said earlier, we went on a shopping trip.
In the car, suddenly I remembered a kids audiobook I used to listen at age 3-5.
I remembered that it was a traumatic story for my young self. It was about a boy exploring a cave and getting lost. He is then found and returned by his big elephant friend.
As a child this was deeply frightening to me. Especially when the elephant sang a song about loosing his friend.
When we heard it today, I felt the pain rising and then it was gone.

During the shopping trip I noticed I walk differently, more confident with a little swagger. I guess another effect from Wanted.

Afterwards I got us to weighted blankets. @CurlyGirl found them online in on e of our favorite stores. And surprise surprise, when we arrived we first couldn’t find them, only to notice that they were in the sales section. So we got two for 32€ in stead of one for 27€.
15 lbs is a bit to light for me, but it feels great nevertheless.

We also found a great Asian place that offers different styles, so she got ramen and I some Chinese. It’s close by, rather cheap and the food tastes great (didn’t expect that from a restaurant that offers Chinese, Japanese and Thai food).

And since I’m home I’m burping heavily. Something is being dissolved in me, and not only food. This is the kind of burping I experience after heavy inner processing.

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[FREE UPGRADE] Main Disc. Thread - The New Dragon Reborn: Regeneration -- Now Available!
#241

Just had the strangest experience.

A few weeks back we bought a THC vape. Mainly for @curlygirl to stop the headfu*k but I tried it as well.
While eating some sweets I almost had an orgasm. Not a genital one, but more in the head.

Today she made me a toast fried in the pan with lots of butter. The insides were covered in tomato paste. It was filled with lots of cheese and salami.
And it was so delicious. I don’t know if I ever felt the deliciousness of something to eat so intensely (without THC).
It wasn’t as intense as back then with the sweets, but even though I slightly moaned while eating.

Is this thanks to Regen dissolving some trauma?
Blooming of RoS?
Probably not Wanted or Fire.
@SaintSovereign any Idea?

1 Like
#242

27.10.2025
Monday

38° C - Fever

According to GNM fever is part of the healing process after solving some serious shock moment.
Could it be my fear of being left alone that I tackles with that kids story I listened to on Friday?
The timing would be right.
Could also be the weighted blanket. I would imagine that the constant high pressure over night did something.
All in tandem with Regeneration.
Just so you understand me right. I don’t say Regen made me sick. I say Regen did some pretty deep healing and in the aftermath of this healing my body increases it’s temperature to better deal with the physical remnants of the trauma.

2 Likes
#243
  1. Oktober 2025
    Wednesday
    30 seconds of Paragon yesterday

Fever is gone. I feel already much better.
I think tomorrow I might be quite well again already.

Now my grandma is sick. Same symptoms.
Very weak. Can’t even get up. She needs most of her strength to do that, and now this strength is reduced tremendously. So I lift her up when she needs to get up.

A part of me fears that shes not gonna make it.
Besides the emotional loss, it would be a huge financial loss as well.
But another part of me is rather unfazed by this. The financial aspect I mean. I’m looking optimistic towards the future, whatever it will bring, I’ll best all challenges.

5 Likes
#244

Thursday
Short update

I feel much better already. Most annoying symptom is coughing during the night.

I’m still Easily exhausted, but that’s also much better already.

My grandma recovered a bit as well. This morning she still needed my help getting up, tonight she was able to do it on her own.

Tomorrow I’m gonna start subs again.

3 Likes
#245

How is your grandma?

#246

3/5/7 November 2025
Mon/Wed/Fri

Reg 3:00 PC 3:00

It was an interesting week. I felt much better already, but I was super fast extremely exhausted. Like I was driving for an hour went shopping for half an hour and then I needed 45 minutes with a coffee anda piece of cake to recharge my batteries. It felt like I couldn’t even drive because my fingers were shaking slightly.

@RVconsultant my grandma recovered fully pretty fast. Now it’s just the usual challenges.

This weekend I visited a prana healing seminar for basic techniques. Since I studied the techniques from the book already for a month (and had a very good basis from my coaching training), I was able start from a very high starting point. The seminar instructor was very good and was able to help me understand the nuances I couldn’t understand from the book.

When I asked him about ADHD, he said he remembers a case from a prana healer that was able to help someone to come off his meds (only in cooperation with and with the ok of the psychiatrist).
I’m still wanting to get medication, but this an interesting outlook.

For some bigger context, I started this prana healing journey about 4-6 weeks ago, when I feared my mother was slowly dying. She was lethargic for weeks, in the end she was only lying down all day long. Then she said she wants to go to a prana healing introduction event.
Despite having some doubts, I accompanied her and was astonished. There was no advertisement, no “Buy this course, only today for half the price”. Nothing.
Only “If you’re interested, there’s a table with information at the exit”.
We bought the book on the basics and I read it in two days. Then I took my mother to a very energetic place in the Forrest and did some first cleansing and energizing.
The next day she was so much more energetic already.
The following weeks, we worked a few times a week, especially when she had troubles breathing or pain in the heart area (she sees multiple medical professionals regularly about this). And I was able to help her ease the pain and breathe more lightly.
So I made big progress alone, but the seminar pushed it to another level.

A part of me is wondering which sub would help best with prana healing. An energetic one like alchemist? Minds Eyes for visualization?

And I was told that I have a very developed crown chakra, but the lower chakra are lacking in development. So I need to build these up.
The part with well developed crown chakra I’ve heard often with different wordings from sensitive persons from different traditions. The part with the underdeveloped lower chakras I already knew from reflecting my life.

3 Likes
#247

First day of work after two weeks of illness.
Not much going on, but as I’ve thought, the illness was the result of solving a deep issue.
I moved with more swagger more firmness through the shop. Also my voice got deeper.

And something interesting happened. I got talking with a guy today I’ve seen once or twice before. He mentioned that he’s a shaman so I asked him about it so we got talking. Then he mentioned that his business is finally starting to run real good. I expressed my joy for him, mentioning that I had excessive coaching training myself but never made it so far. So I’m really happy that he made it. He said then that hes looking for support in his team, if I would be interested. As you can imagine I’m interested. But a bit scared and overwhelmed at the same time. So we exchanged Insta contacts.
I don’t know if this will lead to anything, but I’m kinda thrilled.

3 Likes
#248
1 Like
#249
  1. November 2025
    GB/ RoS/ Wanted 3:08

Felt like refreshing those.

A lot is going on, especially spiritually.

I didn’t feel like Wanted, but it maybe recon, so I decided to run it. Simply because I felt a resistance to run it.

1 Like
#250

29.11.2025

Reg/Wanted/RoS 8:00