08.09.2025
Sunday
Cycle 9
Listening Day 1
GB 7:10 EE 4:40
1 Like
15.09.2025
Monday
Cycle 9
Listening Day 2
GB 7:00 EE 5:34
1 Like
17.09.2025
Wednesday
Cycle 9
Listening Day 3
RoS 5:34 GLM 10
Bought an OHC Vape. It’s a soft high. Curly girl experiences the first moments of quietness in her head since like ever.
For me it’s more giggely.
1 Like
20.09.2025
Saturday
Cycle 9
Listening Day 4
GB 5:33 EE 6:03 GLM 30
1 Like
28.09.2025
Sunday
Cycle 9
Listening Day 5
RoS 3:00 GLM 20
Exposure is extremely low atm.
But results are interesting nevertheless.
I’m starting to set my boundaries much more confident. Boundaries that a few months ago caused trouble are now accepted rather easily.
Also my dreams are more focused on solving internal conflicts.
I think this is all the doing of GLM, even with such a low exposure.
3 Likes
Hey brother nice to hear you’re doing good.
In my 2 years at SubClub, GLM has been the most impactful and transformative sub ever. I’m glad you’re getting benefits even with such low exposure.
I’m doing amazing by the way, getting better every single day, I hope CurlyGirl is also doing well, best wishes to you two and your family
4 Likes
30.09.2025
Tuesday
Cycle 9
Listening Day 6
GB 5:29 EE 3:00
28.09.2025
Thursday
Cycle 9
Listening Day 7
RoS 5:55 GLM 30
I’m getting in listening flow again.
Seems the long washouty phase is done.
I’m also catching up with the forum.
So some longer posts will probably follow next week.
1 Like
06.10.2025
Monday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 1
GB EE GLM 9 minutes each
New Cycle. I decided to try the new protocol. Though I will need to study the thread again to do it correctly.
09.10.2025
Thursday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 2
GB EE GLM 9-10 minutes each
Had some slight headache yesterday, so I decided to postpone listening for another day.
Told my subconscious to tell me when to stop. It was between 9:18 and 9:36 with all three titles.
Yesterday I went to an prana healing evening. It was an introduction what it is, how it works, etc.
Very interesting. It fits in pretty well with how I see the human being.
I feared it would be ending with a huge sales part, the Master selling his classes for a special prize of only 3k or something like that.
But I was in for a pleasant surprise. He showed the technique at the end. Said thankyou and told everyone that there’s a table with info material at the exit. Then he left the stage.
Bought a book. It’s interesting.
I was able to feel the prana in my hands yesterday already. While reading the book, I realized, that one of the techniques I learned in my coaching training is quite similar.
Since I plan to start next year with another KB run, I’ll see what KB will do to my prana practice.
2 Likes
I just realized one of my biggest challenges on ADHD is planning long term.
Right now, I can’t do that.
I can make plans short term.
Like for the day or the next couple of weeks.
But setting a clear goal for what I want to achieve in life and then work on this goal is something I just can’t do.
I knew this for a long time, but now it hit me quite obviously.
But how can I change that?
If there’s no dopamin in it, I can’t get myself to do it.
Just recently, when I didn’t write in here, I spent hundreds of hours on a mobile game. Because its high dopamine.
Also I realized while gaming, that it’s a territory thing. Everyone strives for a territory. Be it his family, his job, his company, his gym, whatever.
A place where you are validated by others.
I had it in this game again.
I was an officer in a top 5 Alliance.
And a top 40 player on our server.
But what I’d really need is a real life territory.
But how can I get there?
The addictive thing about games is how easy you make progress. How fast you reach milestones. Especially in competition with others.
In real life however, everything needs a lot more time and the outcome is unsure.
When starting a business, you’ll easily spend more time on it than I spent on my game. And it’s probable that you don’t see any success at all during this time.
How is my ADHD brain supposed to make it through this period?
I mean I struggle with finding a proper job because the search is tiring.
2 Likes
12.10.2025
Sunday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 3
GB RoS GLM 3 minutes each
Considering a complete overhaul of my stack.
Adding in Wanted, Fire and Regeneration
Dropping GLM (for Regeneration), EE (for Fire), and GB (for Wanted).
It’s not decided as of yet, but it feels like that I want to do these changes.
Regeneration will probably bring what I wanted from GLM, only with more focus and additional bonuses.
Fire is a different approach to the same topic EE covers. According to one post in LTB thread, it dissolved some obstacles I wrestle with and that EE wasn’t able to solve since I started it when it was released.
I’ve spent now ten months on EoG1. First as mainstore title, then as Name Embedded and finally as a custom in GB.
I didn’t see major changes from it. I’m a bit disappointed tbh. But my guess is, that a lot changed already subconsciously, but due to my ADHD I can’t act on it.
So I’ll give EoG some time to bloom and add Wanted. I wanted to run Wanted for a long time, but the new update has so many features that make it seem like it’s an ideal preparation for my next KB run next year.
These ideas aren’t finalized as of yet, but things I’ll ponder about some time now.
1 Like
Oh, that’s impressive. I bet you’ve cleared a lot of garbage in the background because of it
I’ve been on EoG1 since it’s release in early 2025 in one form or another (major title, NE, Custom).
And it was transformative.
I didn’t notice it because the change was happening so slowly.
But be it debt management or using possibilities I ignored before, I know have more money than ever before.
It’s still not that much, but now I’m close to poverty line. As before I had way less.
These days I can treat me and my fiancee with going out to eat or the cinema without worrying to much and still be able to save a bit for emergencies.
From time to time I catch a glimpse at my ingrained money believes and understand that a lot has changed. My scarcity mindset is slowly melting. I truly believe that it can be easy to make decent money (once the ADHD is treated). I’m looking towards the future full of hope.
Also, I now have a realistic plan to get my ADHD diagnosis and medication.
I think this will be a major turning point as well because I realized the biggest obstacle in the wealth department for me is lack of dopamine.
I can’t find any dopamine in looking for a better job, or applying for it. On medication this should all be way easier.
And once I can get myself to actively work on money issues, things will probably speed up dramatically.
I’m also looking into alternative theories about ADHD and treating the body, hoping to solve this issue for good.
I’ve spent two years with sub club and seems more and more like they were a cataclysmic period in the most beautiful way.
Step by step I was lead to the discovery that I’m not broken for good but I’m simply suffering from ADHD which is treatable today.
Also reading the threads in here, it seems like the subs work better, faster and dig deeper once on medication, so I’m really looking forward to this.
Only two days ago, @CurlyGirl sent me two videos of an ADHD guy on medication. He makes beautiful almost philosophical content.
He said he struggled his whole life, only to survive. Now, on medication, life is easy and one year later he makes already way above average and leads a life he never dared to dream a few years before.
I’m ready for that change.
8 Likes
15.10.2025
Wednesday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 4
Fire RoS Wanted 3 minutes each
17.10.2025
Friday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 5
Fire Wanted 3 minutes each
20.10.2025
Monday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 6
Fire 3 Wanted 7.5
I don’t know if gaming helps the uptake of subliminal input, but since I’m in a flow state, I don’t feel time. That’s how I ended up with 7.5 minutes of Wanted instead of three.
But no side effects so far.
I need to be more consistent with my journaling. It’s getting really hard to remember listening times and dates.
I bought Wanted on a hunch. I felt drawn towards Wanted even before the update.
Not because of seduction, but because of the selflove and selfacceptance scripting.
With the update the healing through intimacy scripting delivered another huge argument for Wanted.
Physical Shifting is a nice bonus on top.
Now I’m waiting for the New DR: Regeneration.
I still plan to run KB next year. The plans to beginn the new year with KB changed due to the promised update. So I’ll wait until then.
Also I’m not sure about the EE custom I’m working on. What should I add?
Originally I planned on using QL1 for brain development.
Another part said use Khan Total Action instead.
Or maybe Fire?
On another topic, I finally managed to call my father about my ADHD diagnosis. Today, more than ever, it was quite obvious, that he has ADHD as well.
And he agreed to pay for a private diagnosis, which should get me a diagnosis within months, where I wasn’t able to even get an appointment for months through the insurance paid doctors.
That also leaves us with enough funds to pay for my fiancees diagnosis on our own.
I’m super hyped atm.
2 Likes
Yesterday in the evening I went grocery shopping with @CurlyGirl
When we were done, she asked me if I still wanted to go to the Shisha bar as I proposed earlier that day.
But surprisingly I wasn’t that sure anymore.
After some time I agreed and we went to the Shisha bar. When my fiancee went to the toilet I checked the forum and discovered that new Regeneration was released and read the first few features descriptions.
Soon after I felt an immense sadness arise in me. I sat in the Shisha bar, smoking a nice Shisha, celebrating that my father agreed to pay for my diagnosis and felt so sad that I almost cried.
My first thought was actually precon.
Later on I realized it might have been an emotional bubble that surfaced and was probably released due to me/us probably being able to start a new life soonish.
2 Likes
I want to go shopping with my fiancee right nowish.
But I spent my time in here.
When I asked myself why I do this, I realized that it’s because of I don’t know what to wear, how to dress for the occasion. So I distract myself.
Is this Wanted at work, shedding light on this beliefs? Feels good to recognize how this all works.
22.10.2025
Wednesday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 6
Regen 3:14
24.10.2025
Friday
Cycle 10
Listening Day 6
Regen 3:00
A few interesting things happened today.
As I said earlier, we went on a shopping trip.
In the car, suddenly I remembered a kids audiobook I used to listen at age 3-5.
I remembered that it was a traumatic story for my young self. It was about a boy exploring a cave and getting lost. He is then found and returned by his big elephant friend.
As a child this was deeply frightening to me. Especially when the elephant sang a song about loosing his friend.
When we heard it today, I felt the pain rising and then it was gone.
During the shopping trip I noticed I walk differently, more confident with a little swagger. I guess another effect from Wanted.
Afterwards I got us to weighted blankets. @CurlyGirl found them online in on e of our favorite stores. And surprise surprise, when we arrived we first couldn’t find them, only to notice that they were in the sales section. So we got two for 32€ in stead of one for 27€.
15 lbs is a bit to light for me, but it feels great nevertheless.
We also found a great Asian place that offers different styles, so she got ramen and I some Chinese. It’s close by, rather cheap and the food tastes great (didn’t expect that from a restaurant that offers Chinese, Japanese and Thai food).
And since I’m home I’m burping heavily. Something is being dissolved in me, and not only food. This is the kind of burping I experience after heavy inner processing.
1 Like
Just had the strangest experience.
A few weeks back we bought a THC vape. Mainly for @curlygirl to stop the headfu*k but I tried it as well.
While eating some sweets I almost had an orgasm. Not a genital one, but more in the head.
Today she made me a toast fried in the pan with lots of butter. The insides were covered in tomato paste. It was filled with lots of cheese and salami.
And it was so delicious. I don’t know if I ever felt the deliciousness of something to eat so intensely (without THC).
It wasn’t as intense as back then with the sweets, but even though I slightly moaned while eating.
Is this thanks to Regen dissolving some trauma?
Blooming of RoS?
Probably not Wanted or Fire.
@SaintSovereign any Idea?
1 Like
27.10.2025
Monday
38° C - Fever
According to GNM fever is part of the healing process after solving some serious shock moment.
Could it be my fear of being left alone that I tackles with that kids story I listened to on Friday?
The timing would be right.
Could also be the weighted blanket. I would imagine that the constant high pressure over night did something.
All in tandem with Regeneration.
Just so you understand me right. I don’t say Regen made me sick. I say Regen did some pretty deep healing and in the aftermath of this healing my body increases it’s temperature to better deal with the physical remnants of the trauma.
1 Like