Of Blood and Gold - Khan & EoG Stage 1

Journals - Major Programs
#1

Its bout that time again. Last year I’ve been messing around with customs with varying results and i have made tons of breakthroughs however they were mostly in the recon and the " congratulations! you have achieved failure. Here is why " and the why’s only made me aware of the ocean of buried hurt, pain and fear far beyond my comprehension. In order for me to achieve my specific and ludicrous goals i need my inner world to align with it. And towards that end i have been discovering endless debris standing in that way.

Which is why i will be doing the " I survived 100 days on M̶i̶n̶e̶c̶r̶a̶f̶t̶ Khan & EoG Stage 1 here is what happened " except its not exactly 100 days but more like 3 cycles.

Why so long? wouldn’t it be better to go through each stage of each multistager respectively and then repeat? It would be but my goal is here is unique. I want to give my subconscious as much room to breathe and de clutter in order for me to make far better use of my customs. As it still stands i will not be able to reach my goals within a reasonable timeframe at the current pace of doing things.

This journey will serve as my old 1 year run of pre ZP Khan which grounded my earlier subliminal journey as well as allow me to make far better use of my subliminals. No more brute forcing, no more doing meager 3 min loops and barely handling them. No more monthly crash outs were everything seemingly goes terrible. No more smashing my head against a certain glass ceiling which drove me to near madness.

The current listening pattern.

Monday: Khan & EoG Stage 1 - 1 min loop each
Tuesday: None
Wednesday: Khan & EoG Stage 1 - 1 min loop each
Thursday: None
Friday: Khan & EoG Stage 1 - 1 min loop each
Saturday: None
Sunday: None
Washout: 9 days before the the beginning of the next month

After each week i will be adding 20 to 40 seconds each depending on recon and my adaptability. By the last week i expect to be doing 5 min plus loops with little effort, recon and pain.

Speaking of which. My last Khan run was brutal and i did not hold back a bit. Those were truly the darkest days of my entire life but they mattered. They were the equivalent of " Santa’s not real " where I had the wakeup call of a lifetime. This time i will be going in with nothing to lose, and the world to gain on the other side

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#2

If you’ll have really hard time running these quite healing titles elixir might make it easier for you as a third addition. It’s a light title and I remember it soothed my mind so much and even taught me how to be more calm and collected and less in my dark depressing or anxious thoughts long term.

But hey I wish you great run this year man! Great choice of subs! You’ve always been very promising and I always felt that you already have that Khan spark in you.

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#4

@Spartan Hopefully it wont get as bad and to be transparent i did not do the previous run with strategy or the right action. which kind of brings up the next point

What is success? Is success with a subliminal quantified by external and consistent results or success in general the result of consistent action with the subliminal? I would like to indulge in this hypothetical question.

For most of my life and with my experience with subs i had just about the expected idea of success. I read the sales copy, get the sub, run it long enough to get similar results to the sales copy and what other might be posting. A keen mind would also add that each journey is unique but the basic idea is more or less the same.

Suppose 10 people ran Emperor for 3 months. Each with varying results. Some may embody more of the sales copy, some might exhibit no such external results but made leaps in shadow work and some might move on to a different sub. To that extent success will forever be subjective and personal regardless and the only determining factor is what the user experiences and feels

But for me I simply could not fully comprehend it. With each breakthrough i would believe that i have now " made it " only for the problem-seeking mind to focus on another aspect. Mix in recon, sub-hopping, inconsistent action and you get a mixed bag of " why is nothing happening, why isn’t going how i expect it to be or as quickly or easily as i believe it should be "

In my personal case i was lost in that whirlpool of confusion and inner struggles. Before delving deeper into spirituality last year i became aware of how unaware of my deepest inner workings and what buried underneath. I have always had a vague idea of what success is relative to action and healthy expectations. Now i am not alluding to the end all be all success, its about what is immediately felt and observed by the ungrounded mind.

For that reason i will be redefining success on my own terms. It is the degree of ease and consistency one is able to execute on the script and flowing with it relative to external goals. Now that is something i can definitely work with. What is failure then? for that i would define it as the inability / inconsistency on following THE PLAN which ensures the success. As long as i stick to the plan ( Something i can 100% control ) then i am succeeding regardless of timeframe ( Something i could never 100% control )

The plan has to be simple, logical and could be chopped down into smaller bits.

So here is my current plan. To follow a strict schedule which adheres to the Manuel and the general information shared by its creators. For that reason i started with small micro loops while slowly and sparingly increasing the duration for loops. If i can do 1 min loops with less and less recon as well as seeing slow and tangible external results. Then i am ready for a slightly larger doses. For my personal situation and resolve to achieve my goals. I am adamant about not giving my self-sabotaging desires and subconscious fears any wiggle room which could be given by Sub hopping, increasing the duration of loops substantially as well as surrendering to urge to quit the plan. If at any point things get heated, then i will stay exactly at the same pace until i reach ease and comfort in executing what is being fed. And so on…

Naturally this would end in Mastery which i would describe as 1: Being able to listen to a full loop with minimal recon as well as maintain the necessary action taking which facilitates success. What’s beyond mastery then? I don’t know! 2 loops a day? or a custom sub version of the sub in the Terminus format but that’s like saying what’s better than a multimillionaire. Another multimillionaire with additional millions which is more of the same in most cases.

So to summerize: The Plan to Ensure Success

1. Strict Schedule Adherence

  • Follow a well-defined schedule based on the Manuel and guidance from creators.
  1. Start Small
  • Begin with micro loops (e.g., 1-minute sessions).
  • Gradually increase loop duration, ensuring minimal recon.
  1. Progress Gradually
  • Increase the duration when you are completely comfortable and consistent at the current level, as this ensures progress comes from a pragmatic mindset. Taking on more prematurely and hoping to handle it is risky and could potentially kill any the consistency and the snowball effect. Resulting into spiraling out of control
  • Avoid sudden increases in duration.
  1. Stay Consistent
  • Resist the urge to:
    • Sub-hop (switch between subliminals).
    • Substantially increase loop duration without acclimatization.
    • Quit the plan.
  1. Maintain Control During Challenges
  • If resistance arises:
    • Stay at the current pace.
    • Wait until reaching ease and comfort with the current level before progressing.
  1. Definition of Mastery
  • Listening to a full loop with minimal recon.
    • Maintaining necessary action-taking that aligns with subliminal goals.
  1. Pitfalls
  • Believing that pushing through recon by “taking it like a champ” often stems from ego and can derail progress instead of taking a step back
  • Instead, rely on flow and the snowball effect of small wins.
  • Avoid impatience and commit to long-term consistency.

The basis of success should not be determined by the short term thinking, feeling and judging mind since its susceptible to changes and it’s vision is nearsighted. I am the only one standing in my own way, more specifically its my inability to let go of control and being comfortable in self-sabotaging with perceived full agency instead of taking a step back, doing less more consistently and sparing myself the misery of overthinking and feeling like i need everything NOW. I would like to add that i will be treating this like an offline journal. Nothing i say is absolute and what i am writing about is simply an accumulation of everything I’ve been through in 2024. Lastly i will end this post with something i would most definitely tell myself 1 year ago

1: Are your loops inconsistent in length each week? Then the plan is flawed, you are failing long-term and your results sub-optimal at best
2: Do you add or remove more than 1 sub from your stack every single Week/month? Then you are failing and at best your results are half baked, suboptimal and unsustainable long term
3: Do you believe the next sub/upgrade will be it? well your self-sabotaging tendency’s and fears will be eating good as long as food is on the table
4: Are you results inconsistent and do you feel like you are dealing with unreasonable amounts of recon? Then your plan is wishy washy, ungrounded and your reward is always wishing for comfort, struggling to master living with discomfort when the real solution is to change the environment causing it
5: Are you able to stay consistent and let go of the urge of knowing what, how and why your results or lack their of are happening? If not then doing more of the same will always give more of the same
6: Do you truly believe that all what’s missing is a single click, a single shift or bit of information which will be your express ticket to your paradise? That’s both a cope and a trap meant to keep you chasing your own tail. If such things exists it will find you.

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#5

Things have been going smoothly as expected. I am doing what i need to do every day consistently, taking small but crucial action and feeling great about life. However, just like a random Karen hellbent on ruining your day, Recon pulls up. My current level of awareness and dealing with this recon will be the subject for this post. Pay close attention now! I will be dropping hard-earned game!

Recon from a technical standpoint! Recon has different shapes and works differently for different people however it is universally felt as Negative. It comes with varying degrees and the degree felt consistently determines how well one is dealing with it as well as reaping it’s subtle benefits. The difference in those degrees is the level of Identification with it

Identification will be different for different people but mostly about things you struggle and or have struggled with such as: Action Taking, Consistency, Overthinking, Reliving negative experiences, Guilt, Shame, Blame, Overindulgence, Reaction to criticism, Impatience, Boredom, Reliving trauma, Frustration about something etc… the list is goes on and on

Stage 1 is Strange: Imagine a crazy person calling you a stinky potato… It feels ridicules to even entertain and you simply go about your day

Stage 2 is Uncomfortable: Why do i think / feel this? Huh makes no sense that isn’t me.

Stage 3 is Annoying: I’m i really thinking about this / feeling this? I should relax and let it go.

Stage 4 is Infuriating: You feel on edge being consumed by overthinking or a negative feeling you are unable to let go but you retain enough awareness to know this isn’t serving you while feeling hopeless.

Stage 5 is Full inhibition: ( Insert a really bad day here. Everything goes wrong, the world is out to F""K with you and that’s that seems to be happening regardless of what you do. You may oscillate between stage 5,4 and sometimes lower but you feel hopeless at best, An unlucky victim at worst )

Now remember one of the things that might bug you on and off. It could be about romance on how men, women are this and that… how you give and never take back. How nobody seems to appreciates you… Notice that at times this thought has different power over you. In your worst days you don’t believe in love etc. and in your best you believe that the right one will find you/ or has found you etc. Why is it that this topics or something else that bugs you NEVER seems to have a permanent resolution? Why is it that when you finally believe you figured it out… it still effects you beyond your control? trapping you into more overthinking and trying to " out hustle " the problem

The answer is quite simple. Because it was never the issue to begin with. Whatever seems to bug is no more than a placeholder, the episode for the day with a singular goal to get you to identify with it. It could be resolved today, tomorrow you have something else and next month you could have it again. It’s a trap that baits you into believing more overthinking, more frustration and more anger " will lead you towards that permanent resolution you seek regardless if its positive or negative. It’s a symbiote that needs your energy and identification to survive and it knows you far better than you or anyone ever could and will always be able to push the right buttons to get what it wants… And if you are aware of your patterns, how certain things in life seem to repeat and you feel stuck then it has the power to EVEN manifest situations as a last resort that gets you to re align with it through fierce emotional identification.

This is why some people always seem to attract more the same type of toxic people relationship wise and how some always remain poor despite how hard they hustle or put in the work. After all if the universe itself, supposedly, decided your fate then what hope do you have?

The answer here is not to let go, StAy POsiTive or whatever redundant methods people use to cope with it which gives them the illusion of control. The only answer i personally found is courage and awareness. If you are aware of the game being played and are brave enough to believe that this too will pass then might make it to the next stage which will be entirely personal to you.

Recon from a spiritual standpoint! Recon could be explained through the lenses of 7 hermetic principles. Some are redundant though or i don’t fully understand them yet.

Mentalism: It’s all in your head. There is no force trying to save or damn you. Everything simply IS

Correspondence: Recon is a physical expression of what’s inside you expressed and felt on the outside. This is a valuable nugget which suggests that… Example: I am using a EoG, and my recon looks like feeling like making money is hard. It will require sacrifices, luck and David Goggins level of discipline. This is a clear indication that, in this example, EoG is telling that it’s easy, luck is abundant and you don’t really need all that hard work. Just start small, build on it, have faith and enjoy the freedom on the other side. When you feel like you need to stress, then it’s the opposite. If your recon is telling you nobody deserves your love then you are disagreeing with the fact that there are many who would appreciate and reciprocate your love etc… More on this on Polarity

Vibration: Nothing rests, everything moves, everything vibrates… and currently you are beginning to vibrate on a higher level which is being met by the fear of the new and seemingly uncomfortable. As creatures of habit and comfort, most humans subconsciously choose the devil the are familiar with over an angel who could give them the world but is unfamiliar… ( Insert your relevant self sabotage experience here ) nuff said

Polarity: Here is where things get fun. Everything has an equal and opposite pole. This is the essence of what i have learned using Alchemist: Singularity… Everything is one and the same. Every expression, emotion and state… There is no objective good or bad. Its all one and the same… It’s all equal

Example: Rich and poor! They have the exact same levels of comfort to discomfort ratio, generally speaking. The perpetually poor or paycheck to paycheck has the comfort of not trying hard enough and the discomfort of the life this will lead to.

The rich has the comfort of a luxurious life and the discomfort of facing failure, fear and the discipline of resisting temptations as well as doing what it takes regardless of how they feel. Another aspect is realizing that money is not everything, wealth is not the end all be all as well as feeling life becoming boring unless they cope by flexing that wealth, their ego or needing to make more and more and more to feel something again… Which is a different kind of discomfort.

Another example: The man with no game has the comfort of not approaching, not dealing with rejection as well as the risk of meeting a new person… Being single, having 0 action and obsessing and settling with whoever gives him little attention is the discomfort…

The man with game has the comfort of enjoying frequent action, options, the luxury of picking those that match his standards as well as never needing to settle or put up with less than he can get. The discomfort is facing his fears each time, dealing with frequent rejection as well as the occasional crazy here and there as well as needing to remain firm in the other things that ground him as well as maintaining his value.

All things considered nobody is objectively better off. Sure we could look at 5 people at 80. ranking from homeless, poor, paycheck to paycheck, rich and lastly filthy rich and we would all agree that it’s better to be in the upper part. However that is a mere moment, not considering all the comfort/discomfort each one had at different stages. The 40 year old tech millionaire was a nerd/loser at high school and college being called " lucky " by the average jock who had the time of his life partying and being the center of the world in high school and college.

There is a certain level of comfort for staying the same, wallowing in ones misery. Feeling like nothing changes while having the excuse for blaming the outer world or even themselves. Yes, even blaming ones self is a luxurious comfort because you now get to enjoy the comfort of not facing your fears and inner demons. Things most successful and happy people had to endure and work with over and over and over and over until one day they become magically " lucky " by those with lesser understanding.

Don’t even get me started with " what about those who inherited money, won the lottery etc. "… Yeah just check the statistics for where most lottery winners end up… And tell me how happy " Rich with Daddy’s money " really are. At worst they are riddled with insecurities and at worst they get an overdose of, use your imagination,. that got dark… on to the next

Rhythm: “Everything flows, out and in; everything has its tides; all things rise and fall; the pendulum-swing manifests in everything ; the measure of the swing to the right is the measure of the swing to the left; rhythm compensates.”

Recon is a form of the pendulum swing. There is no dark without light, hot without cold, happiness without sadness etc… Things will go bad sometimes and it is what it is. Things will go great in equal measure. Why then can we all universally agree that " Pain is far more frequent than joy " and way harder to obtain. Again it’s all about preception

If we played a cointoss where the odds are 50/50 for 100 dollars. Most people will say no even we were to say " I win i get 100 dollar you win you get 120 dollars ". Most people would still say no even if they were to win more than lose. Why is that? Because in human nature we fear losing more than we want to win. I fear the love of my life leaving me over being happy for an opportunity to find a better one. Creatures of habit yada yada we are risk averse and most would agree that whenever they get sick, they appreciate all the times the were healthy… even if the sickness in question is a simple 3-7 days cold with an obnoxious runny nose.

If so then this law helps us realize that pain, as well as recon are inevitable and frees us from burdens of worrying about them and re shifts our focus on developing a healthier perspective and greater awareness. If i feel neutral 50% of the time, hurt 40% and happy just as little as 10% then by re shifting my focus and actions. I have the ability to change those numbers by choosing the appropriate reaction instead of always trying to outhustle and control the world so it fits my particular ego and its needs.

Doing so, as well as handling recon with lesser identification as well as taking action will not only do that but will even help me open up the door ways to manifestation in the subliminals which makes me feel blessed and lucky.

cause and effect I see this as another form for the law of correspondence. For both the relevance for this post as well as my limited understanding of it.

Gender: I see it as irrelevant and redundant here. Could also be due to my limited understanding of it.

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#6

So far so good. First week results

  • Becoming very comfortable at pulling the trigger. I got 3 instagram accounts of 3 really cute girls i approached while put and about

  • Similarly, I am immediatly on top of everything that needs to be done when it comes to day to day arrangments.

  • Zero worry or burden by not doing what im supposed to

  • My mood is very stable and i feel good about life 80% of the time… the othet 20% when im not feeling good it’s still ok since i have zero burdens or worries about if im doing something wrong or i should be worrying. In essence I am way more self caring and considerate to myself when things don’t feel right

  • My 3 days a week gym workouts are going great. I no longer need anger or negative motivation to give it my all

  • The 4th day at the gym, the cardio day, is feels so easy now running 30 min at 10km per hour speed on the treadmill

Overall it feels like i am discovering so much freedom and peace by slowly being freed from overthinking and the need to control. Which unsuprisingly is giving me far more of both

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#7

Imagining Z: The Ultimate Version of Myself

Z represents the ultimate version of me. He is decisive, resilient, and capable of action. Z solves problems, improvises, and balances self criticism with kindness. Z doesn’t need to feel like a rockstar every moment to enjoy life or get things done.

In free time Z thrives whether alone, with friends, or strangers, indoors or outdoors. Z reflects, enjoys the moment, and eagerly anticipates tomorrow. Life, for Z, is a gift not just in perspective but through tangible experiences. Even when misfortune strikes, Z endures with grace, sidestepping negativity.

The Role of Z in My Life

Z embodies who I thought I needed to be to find happiness and fulfill my potential. Without Z, my struggles feel meaningless and with Z, I justify the pain and hardships I’ve faced. Yet Z is just a creation of my ego, a goal born from suffering and anger. Before Z, I was consumed by self hatred and lack of understanding. Striving for Z gave me direction but also perpetuated my pain keeping happiness out of reach.

The Trap of Chasing Z

We all fall into this cycle, chasing goals that feel essential but remain elusive. Then comes the clichéd advice: happiness is in the now. This wisdom clashes with the ego’s need to perpetuate, leading to coping mechanisms like:

  • “I’ll be happy once I achieve X.”
  • “This advice doesn’t apply to my situation.”
  • “You don’t understand what I’ve been through.”
  • “I’ll believe it when life proves it to me.”

This cycle is humanity’s eternal trap, addressed by faiths and philosophies across time. The only first layer escape is faith and conviction.

Z’s Purpose and Growth Beyond It

Z wasn’t entirely negative. In my darkest moments, Z gave me direction. Pain and anger were the only tools and fuel I had and could ever conceive. Growth often starts with survival using what’s available until it’s time to let go. To go beyond despair i created z only to realize i escaped from one cage into another. Outgrowing escaping Z lead me to faith… Another cage which i am currently dealing with.

Faith as the Final Puzzle

Faith bridges the known and unknown, offering strength when the path is unclear. For many, it’s enough to endure hardships and achieve remarkable things. But not everyone starts from the same place.

Those from stable backgrounds have reserves of resilience to persist and grow. For others and those born into immense hardship, faith might be the only thing keeping them afloat. Those who come from bottomless misfortune and misery. People who have been denied so much, they’ve been surviving on faith alone for as long as they can remember. For them, it took everything they had and more just to become a normal, functioning person. To not snap, break, or worse becoming another product of their environment and still try to do the right thing.

How is it fair that the world demands them to achieve the impossible twice. To survive and reach a starting point most people take for granted, and yet again to achieve their goals and dreams? If achieving the impossible requires running 100 miles which only certain few ever achieve, how fair is it for those starting 100 miles behind the initial starting point?

This was my breaking point in 2024. This is where i lost all faith in any and everything. I laid it all out in my 2024 Khan journal in the first half of 2024. The second half of the year was making sense and finding a new way forward.

Is There a Better Way?

Faith, while powerful, can feel fragile. Requiring constant rebuilding after setbacks. That’s where i found realized that for me, personally, needing faith and convictions mean i lacked the true essence of both. That’s where i truly began to essence of Zen. True faith is letting go of everything, including faith and beliefs. It meant embracing life’s uncertainty with an open heart. To realize the true freedom that comes from surrendering to life as it unfolds, daring to dream, and pursuing those dreams while not allowing the mind to try to control, persuade me to improve, worry me to overthink, give me reasons to doubt and i learned this the absolute hard way of. After doing the unimaginable to keep me in my cage, suffering it’s every trick, criticism, and ever improving strategies to get in my way… I see it for what it truly is.

I am by no means any more immune to its influence than i was 5 or 10 years ago. On this journey with Khan and EoG Stage 1… I am overcoming it and slowly but steadily growing stronger and happier each day as it slowly loses it’s influence over me.

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#8

Week 2 progress

I increased the exposure from 1 minute to 1 minute 30 seconds. This seems like the right balance between progress and recon. Next week, before the washout, I plan to do 2 minute loops of Khan and EoG Stage 1.

Hopefully the new EoG will be released soon. I am beyond excited to try it. So far I’ve seen results from both sides but it seems like the Khan side is stronger. That makes sense since it’s in NSE, while my current EoG is in ZPV2.

Things are changing quickly yet everything feels still. Day by day the echoes of the past grow quieter. Some that seemed muted are suddenly louder as if announcing their presence. Yet they hold less power over me with each passing moment.

It’s hard to put things into words. My courage and presence are being tested and strengthened every hour. The dreams have been strange, vivid, reflecting bizarre subjects. They’re not as intense as nightmares but in some ways they are harder to deal with. The most recent one is something I’ll take to the grave. I can’t even describe how personal and unsettling it felt.

Despite this my attitude toward the dreams makes me proud of who I’m becoming. I feel steady at my core and unshaken even by their intensity.

I meditate while listening to both tracks and I’m taking action toward my goals as well as those of the subs which align with mine. Outwardly life feels like it’s rolling out the red carpet for me. I get what I want and need exactly when I need it while learning along the way.

It’s early to say but if I were to describe my life before 2025 I’d say I was two different people who couldn’t coexist. One was brave, calculated, earnest, and full of dreams. The other was damaged and rotting with uncertainty to the core. I tried so many ways to fix that broken side but nothing worked. It consumed me completely. I felt like I was drowning unable to make a sound, just like in a nightmare I used to have often.

That drowning abyss was oddly comforting yet i resisted the urge to succumb into it because of fear. I simply refused and put my life on the line. If i give in then im giving up, without realizing that what i was giving up on was life itself along the way. Ultimately I didn’t give in to it but after exhausting my will power beyond logic, it reclaimed me which at the time filled me with despair and defeat. However
it brought me back to myself. In that dark and suffocating space, I found the real starting point.

I’m still in that grim, terrifying, uncertain place. That unjust and unforgiving place. Like everything and everyone that breathes, I’ve returned to life itself. I went back home! The real agony was believing there was ever anywhere else to be but here.

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For so long i fought against myself and against life itself while believing i was doing the opposite. My pain and agony was caused because i was stripped of the rose colored glasses early and needing to wear the doom and gloom glasses. Now i am wearing neither. Now i no longer drown or suffer needlessly. I can simply stand up and start walking. Seeing the light on one side and the dark on the other, aware of both. I walk towards the light

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#9

Do you have Sanguine?

#10

Yeah i do. Although I’m getting little to no recon since my micro loops are minimal, slowly increasing and with plenty of time to process and take action. With the current rate of progress i expect that by the time i am done i will be far more efficient with the future stacks / customs.

Aside from that the hunger is nuts, energy consumption is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I am sleeping 10 + hours a day and can barely get off or keep away from the bed. The dreams are vivid, memorable and vary in intensity

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#11

Week 1/3 , 1st Cycle
Mon: Khan ST1 + EoG ( Pre Upgrade ) ST1, 1 Min :ballot_box_with_check:
Wed: Khan ST1 + EoG ( Pre Upgrade ) ST1, 1 Min :ballot_box_with_check:
Fri: Khan ST1 + EoG ( Pre Upgrade ) ST1, 1 Min :ballot_box_with_check:
Week 2/3 , 1st Cycle
Mon: Khan ST1 + EoG ( Pre Upgrade ) ST1, 1 Min 30 sec :ballot_box_with_check:
Wed: Khan ST1 + EoG ( Pre Upgrade ) ST1, 1 Min 30 sec :ballot_box_with_check:
Fri: Khan ST1 + EoG ( Pre Upgrade ) ST1, 1 Min 30 sec :ballot_box_with_check:
Week 3/3 , 1st Cycle
Mon: Khan ST1 + EoG ( Pre Upgrade ) ST1, 2 Min :ballot_box_with_check:
Wed: Khan ST1 + EoG 2025 ST1, 2 Min :ballot_box_with_check:
Fri: Khan ST1 + EoG 2025 ST1, 2 Min

Almost done with the with the first cycle. The addition of New EoG Stage 1 is most welcome. It was worth all the wait and more. I will be posting some day 1 results on EoG it right now…

Money Then: Money has always been elusive to me. Growing up in Iraq pre 2003 all i saw was bread and rice except for the occasional religious holidays and holy days were moms go all out on feasts. With 10 plus people living in the same house, and visitors making it common to have over 25 people at once. In that time Iraq was ruled by a certain someone and the country was dirt poor due to sanctions, wars and the unfairly distributed wealth for the select few. The only people who had some wealth were those in cahoots with exclusively reigning political party at the time. Benefiting from heavily from the corruption and nepotism.

2003: I remember the heavy bombings, bullets and helicopters in the sky every day for over a week. Almost everyone had to stay at home in order to stay safe and not catch stray bullets. The ground rumbling and shaking was more than common. The adults were always freaking out and watching the news whenever electricity was around. This sowed a mentality of surviving day by day with little to no real value in the long term future except for getting a prestige college education and degree.

Post 2003. The sight of tanks in the streets were common. I remember seeing US soldiers in some places and thought how cool they looked but the adults warned us to stay away from them. It was also a very common sight seeing flattened cars which were ran over tanks.

Poverty was still prevalent and since then it became obvious that who ever wanted money & power needed to align with whatever new party had the power at the time. Corruption and Nepotism prevailed and prospered. The only exception was skilled and well connected merchants and traders since there was little production, start ups or much to export except for oil.

This strengthened the already prevalent nationwide and cultural mentality that to have wealth, you needed to align, be in service for and favored by whatever the dominant party ruling or popular at the time, As well as kissing a$$. Lots and lots of a$$ kissing for whoever had money and power. That meant taking bribes, never question nor stick your neck out as well as as full obedience governed by fear and scarcity. The only solution for the morally ethical is to double down on the education culture which is not much different to Asian culture. You gotta to get A+ every time, study 10 hours + every day, in sickness and health, in peace and even while grieving the loss of multiple family members and whatever it took to be a doctor or engineer otherwise your value to society is non existent. This has and still left many people with degrees that did not guarantee anything. It was common to have doctors driving taxi’s all day… Yet people continued to sell their souls doing whatever it took to get their children into expensive private schools which often demanded favors and bribes… Oh the bribes

Long story short: Money was for the lucky and the corrupt. Without it, life is harsh and with it… otherwise you need to go to great lengths to achieve including being morally compromised. it It’s all i grew up with when i didn’t know better. My mom raised me to take pride in my principles and knowledge. So money had no correlation to my value which is grounded elsewhere. However 70% of the arabs i know link their value to their money and education and view others through the same lenses. It doesn’t matter how bad or ignorant of a person they were, Money was all they think about. With it, everyone kisses your a$$, they women flex the gold they got, the men flex their cars, property and connections they own and how well their kids are doing in school or what grades they have etc… This superficial, shallow and and rotten view distanced me from them as well as money they never seem to stop obsessing about. Worse yet, they claim moral superiority and pride themselves in how " religious " they are when greed and being able to flex is rooted to their very fabric.

The poor were not as bad as those with various degrees of money and power, however they were often bitter and resentful. Very few were truly detached from money and the lack of it. Those who keep to themselves and remind me of the good we have in us, and who we could be if things were different.

Now June 2010, First year as an immigrant in Sweden. Living with my brother, dad, his wife and kids. All we had was government assistance. At 15 years old, all i could do was survive the abuse and isolation from my family in Iraq for the next 5 years as well as doing my best to finish middle school, learn swedish and graduate from highschool. All of which went slow and was a painful experience. Being an an abused arab, INTJ and with virtually no social skills or self esteem made it lonely especially in the anti social swedish culture. Everyday was a struggle to find happiness, to muster what little willpower i had to take whatever action i could see with my vision.

Much later: Money is still hard. Most 40 year old + immigrants in sweden continue to rely on goverment support. Giving little to no effort towards learning the language or applying for a job. At best, they learn and work as bus drivers, restaurant or grocery store owners. Some rare individuals manage to learn both the language and get a hard degree in medicine such as becoming Dentists or Doctors. Also there are a few business men who find ways to generate enormous wealth by working 2 jobs, investing in the market or in their respective arab country. Making passive income as well as finessing the system as well as finding legal ways to pay less if not any of the mandatory 30% plus tax.

The young who managed to learn the language early, as well as staying out of the streets, manage to integrate through various degrees to integrate into the system and work, change jobs and city’s as often as required.

This has been playing in my head NON STOP. The current system for someone like myself, for everyone else etc. And it’s…

FUN…

Yeah. It’s fun. Before i would think about such stuff in short duration or when an opportunity to learn arises. I viewed money as if I’m learning about bees. Interesting but, out of my reach… Like i am in no position to do anything about it. When i do get serious, when life gets hard i would think about it with great discomfort. Like i am above it in some way due to my excuses for prioritizing survival or how valuable i am as a person, and should be rewarded for, who is a person of principles, integrity and knowledge. That is a testament to how hard Sub club has delivered with this upgrade

I wont go as in depth each and every time i post. The reason i went all out is to show the power of the new EoG and Stage 1. I adamantly recommend everyone using this first time to start comfortably and to take action in whatever form available to them to profit off the snowball effect. You may be tempted to feel this and be like " this feels amazing, i know it works… i can take action LATER or ANOTHER DAY assuming it will be the same. The more you delay, the more the focus might shift into WHY you are delaying and you will most likely deal with unnecessary recon.

You will not go anywhere by believing all you need to do is listen and to take action when you feel comfortable doing so… Im done preaching

6 Likes
#12

Cycle 1 Complete
Last post pre washout

So far it seems like New EoG ST1 is either that smooth at the current 2 min micro loop, or my previous efforts made it integrate seamlessly. To that end i would say both titles are working beautifully and complementing each other as well as my vision. It does not feel like i added another NSE title after i replaced the old ST2… It feels like I’m using 1,5 subs due to them being being similar in nature, clearing & foundational etc. For contrast it Khan ST1 + QL ST1 could demand far more energy and overloading the process que slightly more.

My plan seems to be working greatly as well. I feel no more energy drain on 2 min micro loops compared to when i first started with 1 min micro loops. Granted it’s not a substantial increase but I’m sure if day one was 1 min and day two was 2 min i would have felt the difference immediately.

I have been feeling great about discussing topics and ideas with my friends those last 2 days. Money wise as well as about life. For some reason i feel like my brainpower and intuition has improved somewhat. So many ideas, so many realizations about money and outside of money. It would seem that the joy for improvement from EoG ST1 has been shared when thinking about topics in the Khan ST1 area. Just as NSE subs could affect non NSE subs, it would seem that the prototype ZPU in EOG has the same effect to non ZPU subs

Time seems to be moving faster and faster when i meditate, almost as fast as when doom scrolling or playing a video game… but unlike the latter, i feel present & anchored. I have been wondering about when im done with the 3rd cycle, if i should put both in a custom and keeping it below 10 cores/modules and doing the same starting and stay on it until 2026… With discipline becoming easier and more enjoyable, i could ride this out building not only the strongest foundation imaginable for the future but evolving permanently beyond recognition.

4 Likes
#13

I almost cried. I hope you are in a much safer environment, and always will be.

#14

Thank you for your kind words :yellow_heart:

2 Likes
#15

Washout has been a bit intense. Feeling a push pull between the old me who wants to procrastinate, have time wasted and the new me who clings bravely to the now

Yesterday I had an incredible meditation session and breakthroughs. After doing everything, taking action etc. i was left with tons of free time. Naturally i hopped on discord who have been trying non stop to join them on Path of exile 2. Not yet anyways… There was a moment however, i felt bored and tired… then i wondered why. When i feel great. I am not stressed, not plagued by as much 80% which used to deal with everyday just to survive… So why? Naturally i don’t know.

I felt like meditating and when i did… I relax deeply, consciously breathing while emptying my logical from it’s thoughts and focus head, after that micro thoughts that just happen… for those they are to be ignored… I tried to listen deeply, as deep as possible and tried to catch the faintest of sounds. This got me very relaxed. My limbs except my neck and lower back went 90% numb from the relaxation, my heartbeat was very slow, my breathing was minimal. Then i saw darkness through my enhanced awareness. The unknown…

I saw it for what it is, and represents. It’s the source of all fear, doubt and negatvie emotions… Yet it is the only source for true wealth in any forum for those who " get it "… For me, after endless attempts to understand and accept the unknown. I knew the answer was to embrace it, the anti control… It meant walking confidently in the dark only seeing the half step infront of me… hearing screams of the fallen who warn of any misstep. Screams that are not to be heard, but the sound of the dreams still exist here… I need only to follow and trust them in the unknown…

In this heighted awareness i felt a certain dissonance between my spiritual being and my logical mind, the limited I or Me… My awareness was like a colossal statue in size, strength and potential meanwhile the logical and egotistical I / Me was nothing but an Ant sized human sitting on the edge of the nail of that colossal titan… Words, Explanations could only ever be uttered by the Ant sized persona… which so feeble and quite honestly pathetic compared to the real self.

That is when i realized that I’ve been nothing but a toddler trying to speak and learn about adults without realizing my shortcomings. I will always be the toddler, the feeble ant with my logic, wisdom etc… Everything else comes from the higher self, The present consciousness or the one you feel in the zone… He who is simply, utterly and completely all right and happy. Logic and Rationality’s shortcomings will never allow me to fully understand the world. I need to go beyond them in the realm of vision, trust and surrender… However with this new perspective… The Ant Sized me, sittin at the edge of the reals me’s fingernail… I realize my short comings, i see my limited perspective, and most importantly i trust in the power of the real me and his vision before i need to see it, feel it and believe it with my limited tools.

The single most important realization i made thus far was dealing with the resistance, the pushback… That feeling you get when you say " I will let go " but " why im i not letting go? im i letting go directly? " In the face of that contradiction, I broke it down to smaller pieces.

My mind wanted an answer… It demanded it… my answer was to break it down, a mere moment by moment… I am letting go correctly in this instant alone, and the next one i tell myself the same and so on… I could never give it a satisfactory answer, So i tell it that its ok for now, as for later then as later, and so on and on…

1 Like
#16

Last washout day

Life is feeling good. Almost like the vibe of a wholesome movie in its last 5 minutes, things tying beautifully, Unresolved emotions make sense. At this moment everything feels amazing. It could be the blooming effects but i would like to believe its more consistent than that. Only time can tell.

My meditations are becoming more smooth, enjoyable and deeply immersive. It’s not uncommon to feel numb in my entire body at the end of a meditation sitting. My entire body except torso and head would go numb from the prolonged relaxation. My visualization of the ideal future is becoming smoother and more exciting. I would get a full hard on just by imagining and immersing myself in the experience of being around the women i want to be with. I can easily immerse myself in the wealth and life style scenarios that pop up with little to no resistance from either sides. I see myself basking in the lifestyle without needing it, embracing the ever elusive contradiction of " Great enough now, even greater in the future " without leaning towards either.

My health has surprisingly improved as a side effect. Without knowing exactly how or why, I have eliminated an issue which has plagued me for the last 9 years. How easily i would get cold like symptoms at the slightest exposure to low temperatures and wind. That became worse where i would start wheezing and coughing out phlegm for up to an hour randomly and for no reason. Those are all gone now. My body feels reborn and i can only suspect that the deep inner work and my meditations have lead to massive amounts of energy to be spent where they were meant to be instead of the good ol mental bs.

Joy and appreciation: I want to give a lot of credit to the new EoG Stage 1 which I used during the last week of the first cycle. However I was already handling Total Breakdown just fine without it. This is an important distinction because its not that the experience was unbearable before, and the new EoG Stage 1 “saved” me. Instead I had grown comfortable with the discomfort which feels nothing like my first run on Khan last year. I was not looking for an easy way out the discomfort, but it came at the right time when i would have been fine with or without it.

I can say that January was one of the most productive month of my life using subs and one of the most radically transformative. I have gotten far more than i could have dreamed of, using such small loops consistently and by respecting the plan i set out. I will continue adding 30 + seconds to each loop each new week, going deeper and i am so excited to see what the new cycle brings.

#17

EOG is strengthening my meditations as well

1 Like
#18

Great to see similar results. Its a on a whole new level

#19

Week 1/3 , 2nd Cycle
Mon: Khan ST1 + EoG 2025 ST1, 2 Min 30 sec :ballot_box_with_check:
Wed: Khan ST1 + EoG 2025 ST1, 2 Min 30 sec
Fri: Khan ST1 + EoG 2025 ST1, 2 Min 30 sec
Week 2/3 , 2nd Cycle
Mon: Khan ST1 + EoG 2025 ST1 ST1, 3 Min
Wed: Khan ST1 + EoG 2025 ST1 ST1, 3 Min
Fri: Khan ST1 + EoG 2025 ST1 ST1, 3 Min
Week 3/3 , 2nd Cycle
Mon: Khan ST1 + EoG 2025 ST1, 3 Min 30 Sec
Wed: Khan ST1 + EoG 2025 ST1 , 3 Min 30 Sec
Fri: Khan ST1 + EoG 2025 ST1, 3 Min 30 Sec

Well back to it. First day and things are already picking up heat! A girl i have been talking to for a while now, great chemistry and fun when we text or hang around. She showed slight signs of emotional baggage from a previous relationship but i did not see how it could affect me, or perhaps did not know they would manifest with us so early. That was few weeks ago…

Yesterday she made a comment on text saying how I’m not like " insert controversial male figures " etc. And it annoyed me somewhat so i put a boundary telling her to stop comparing me to them, bad or otherwise i don’t want to be lumped in groups or have my value limited as Not This or Not That and added that I know she means no harm!

She first calls me out saying i got emotional! I responded by telling her that I’m not and she should not shift the focus of what i said to my perceived emotional reaction. She then explodes out of no where how 1: I am defending them, 2: Taking it too personally etc… I further explained that its neither and more so to be considerate to me not desiring to be compared. She responds with jumping into massive conclusions about how men do this, that to women etc… How she should not walk on eggshells around me… and that’s when i ended the conversation

I got really annoyed that something came up! Some emotions resurfaced that were hard to not identify with such as
1: How women are always empathetic in the ways that suits them, never in a way that matters to me.
2: How they demands empathy, understanding while downplaying my emotions and the iota of empathy i kind hoped she would give me
3: How as a man i should never, ever even dream of an understanding woman since all i would get is disappointment no matter what.
4: That i was right all along when i shut down all my emotions and vulnerability, settling for short time fun with women instead of being disappointed
5: Lastly, that when a woman is emotional… It will never ever be about anyone or anything except her. How their feelings are all that matters over any and everything else. That instead of being the loser hoping to be loved and understood, i should be the winner who uses their weakness against them since they refuse mature and continue to forever find a way to be the victim regardless. So why shouldn’t i at the very least ensure the outcome that gives me the most peace, rather than the right thing?

It’s not that i have a problem cutting her off. I already have, its an issue of the past projected into the future felt in the present! How i would often compromise empathy for my needs replacing it with " i need nothing from nobody " attitude " which let women like her slip in through my boundaries. The past felt a similar sting, the future worries about how do we resolve this once and for all.

Sure sure massive generalizations for the whole planet. But that’s what i have observed in the women i date over and over, to varying degrees, sooner or later… The same thing happens. The question is always the same! was i dumb enough to expect any different?

That was the emotional response being processed. However, the I am, knows far better. This is a chance for to reconcile peacefully with this buried frustration. Normally, something like that would ruin my entire day but it took no longer than an hour. So moving forward then?

1: It’s me and I’m attracting those certain apples
2: It’s not me, most women are just like that since society gives them little to no reason to give a damn about a mans feelings. That since they don’t even initiate, they have zero reason to not believe the world revolves around them since they get affection, attraction and empathy simply for existing. If so then I most certainly do not envy them.
3: It’s a combination of both!

Realistically speaking! The second option makes far more sense, but for the life i want. I will choose the belief that serves me which is option 3 because i can improve on that. Regardless of who i meet. It’s up to me to give myself all the empathy and understanding i could ever wish for so i don’t need it regardless. Instead of pragmatically not choosing to ask for it just so i can continue to get laid and continue to feel resentful deeply on the inside. If deep resentment is what i carry, why wouldn’t i get with those who do the same? regardless of justification! My only consolation prize is telling my self " IM RIGHT!!! "

#20

I have an almost identical stack as you and also did 3 mins of each this morning. Khan st1 and QL st1.

We are like brothers living in different countries, with different parents, different appearances, and different stacks.

1 Like
#21

Glad to hear it man. Good luck with your journey, Khan Stage 1 can feel like sitting in a boiling pot at times, you want to react emotionally or find an escapism activity so bad when the heat is on… But the way forward is being present with the heat as it evaporates all which stands in the way of greatness and potential. It DARES you to sit still, to not react, to not try to escape and to not desire to take control in anyway but to believe that the answers will come. The less you resist the faster and better it goes