Sage’s Rise: the Wanted Son of Lightning

Journals - Major Programs
#425

Women are starving for emotional and sexual satisfaction.

I asked 3 women the other day a question. I said that I know girls talk with each other about their relationships, men, and sex. So I asked how many of them talk about how guys don’t care, don’t understand, don’t get it, don’t listen, watch too much porn, play too many video games, and aren’t good in bed. There was consensus, the exact same answer “all of them”. Yep 3 out of 3 girls said all of their friends have those same complains about guys I listed.

Doesn’t matter how hot she is. She’s probably got the same complaints other girls have about guys. So be a different guy. It’s kinda easy, yes?

care
understand
get it
listen
have sex with her instead of watching porn
have sex with her instead of playing video games
get good in bed (Diamond, or SM)

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#426

Just reading this sent me into massive recon (jk).

All very good things to consider and I shall, thank you for the insight @RVconsultant

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#427

I’ve been listening to the Way of the Superior Man, which should help which the first four with practice.

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#428

Although I don’t agree with everything David Deida says, I think he has some good points to ponder.

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#429

08/07/21

I’m going to have to find a way to take more action with my custom. I’m not seeing Mastermind doing much for me and a few other modules are a bit light in results.

This can be attributed in theory to several things; one, PMO. I haven’t in a few days but the effects of ejaculating to porn overly much causes me brain fog, along with other defects (porn doesn’t affect my genitals in terms of PIED and other sexually related defects due to PMO, cause of affirmations I did back when).

Another reason is obviously action. I’m not planning ahead for much; why, then, would Mastermind have much to activate?

Another, and the final one I’ll bother adding, is my current sleep/eat schedule. I get up at early o’clock in the morning and work sometimes twelve hour days. I usually run on 5-6 hrs sleep. And I’ve already mentioned my eating.

Both of these are concerning to me because these titles absolutely require adequate rest and nutrition. So I’ll be working on this.

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#430
#431

I shared the last post because lately I’ve been feeling more and more inclined to pay attention to my inner world. I’m doing what I can in the moment when I’m beset by intense emotions to ALLOW and process them without judgement on myself or the thought/emotion, but I’m noticing that when I sense it (for example, the horny anxiety I mentioned the other day) building up, I tense up against the feeling automatically.

Tension is the opposite of what I want, peace.

I started a self challenge yesterday of avoiding checking out women. What we resist persists so rather than fighting my Primal urges, when I see a woman with a flabbergasting body, I allow myself to look at her, and then keep it moving and observe the feelings that come up.

It’s generally a gut twisting sensation mixed with a fire surging upwards from my belly to my heart (methinks me sacral needs attention…again) and something in me automatically rises to combat it. That’s the best way I have to put it, for now.

The purpose of this challenge is to reduce my unconscious fixation (fetish?) for women with…nice derrieres. Each time I succeed in it, I have noted there’s troubled energy going on within me that swiftly shifts to a feeling of warmth surrounding me and rising within me.

My current theory is that the energy, needing to go somewhere, is diverting to where it’s supposed to be in the first place, i.e. my aura and respective centers.

Perhaps.

Another objective is to somewhat improve my focus on my girlfriend. Energy flows where attention goes; if my focus is split… Well.

I looked at porn two days ago and got bored by it pretty quickly. @RVconsultant once suggested to me that perhaps it isn’t actually porn that I’m wanting (not word for word, I’m sure); I agreed then and I agree now. I’m inclined to think that my natural desire for women has been warped by yours truly, as well as the hyper sexual society we Americans live in.

I’m on the verge of deleting Instagram off of my phone again. I go on there and catch myself just mindlessly scrolling because “I don’t have anything better to do” or “I’m bored.” I’ve caught myself opening my phone and opening the Instagram app almost by muscle memory. It has no real benefits to me in my life.

I don’t follow ANY “IG Models” because that’s a slippery slope I’ve busted my ass on more than once. But I do notice in the last few days, I’ll catch myself scrolling the Explore page quickly and stopping only when I see a a thicc girl on a Reel (whoever came up with Reels…I hope you stub your toe) or a pic of an interesting model catches the attention of my RAS.

My coworkers are trying to get me into Tiktok and I’m avoiding that like… Well, Covid. I’ve seen glimpses of what is on there in terms of thirst traps and this little Sagittarius is going the opposite way :rofl:

I take full response-ability for all of the things I have mentioned, of course. I’ve come a long way just since last September with quite a few things. It’s about time that I gave myself more credit.

I still hope you stub your toe, Reel Boy

4 Likes
#432

I can’t put my finger on it, but people at work are definitely respecting me.

For the most part, that is. I do sense something from certain people that work in the warehouse that feels almost like hostility or animosity. Like… I’m a threat. That’s what comes to me and typing it made my gut relax so I think I’m on the right track.

I’m an attractive 6’4 lightskin mixed dude with a great smile and sense of humor and people take to me quickly. I’m surrounded by minorities in a company that hires felons and I’ve got a bright energy about me, so I mean, there’s gonna be polarization.

Plus…I make extraordinarily hard eye contact with people that offend me by looking at me too hard (I grew up in San Bernardino, I mean, c’mon) so generally, dudes will suddenly find a fascination with the fans on the ceiling or they’ll glaze over and shake their head like they just came outta a trance.

It also doesn’t help that I’m noticing that the office girls, one by one, are becoming interested in me. Nothing serious so far, just lingering looks, catching them eyeing me from waaaaay across the way and feeling my eye contact and jerking, etc. I’ve encountered being ‘that guy’ in many a workplace, so I’m already knowing how it’s finna play out.

With the challenge that I’ve been doing, I noticed something that I didn’t anticipate. Normally, I would look at the girls at work and be distracted from whatever I was doing so I could sneak a glance at the booty if it’s presentable.

Today and yesterday, I’ll look, tell myself “You’ve already seen it, nothing’s changed since the last time” and studiously ignore them from there. So tell me why, now, the same females that acted like they didn’t see me before when walking by are strangely finding reasons to linger in the area or room I’m in.

This one particular girl has a ridiculous butt in certain jeans and she knows we know. For the first couple weeks here, I’ve looked any chance I could get on my “Fuuuuck…” mood. Before yesterday she looked at me maybe twice I could think of.

Now, if I see her coming, I divert my attention to something else, or immediately return my attention to what I was doing completely. Not in a jerky oh I got caught way or anything but more like she’s just an average girl.

It didn’t take long at all energetically for whatever happened to happen because NOW, I be coolin’ with the homies and I’ve caught her staring at me multiple times since just yesterday.

I manifest very quickly because of the work I did before subs but that kinda threw me off, not gonna lie.

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#433

I’ve been receiving lots of praise at work, from superiors as well as colleagues. My work ethic is showing apparently.

My driver manager told me yesterday that I’m “quickly becoming his favorite because I get the job done, or do my best until it’s apparent I can’t.”

He has told me that my current driver and others have told him more than once that I’m doing great. (AM x Lifeblood?)

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#434

Right now as I’m sitting here typing this at a truck stop, I glanced up and there’s this Charles Manson looking guy sitting a table away from me deadass staring at me. I nodded at him and said how are you doing and he just chewed like a cow and stared. So I was like “Can I help you?” And took off one of my earphones (I’m listening to my custom ATM) and we just stared at each other.

I sort of glanced around to see if I was tripping and nobody else noticed so I shrugged, took em both off and put my fingers together steepled on my therapist vibe and studied him for all of two seconds before he found something extraordinarily fascinating over my shoulder.

Just felt like typing that as it was happening.

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#435

Certainly sounds like a reputation type of thing.
Must be Lifeblood Fable in effect, because it improves your reputation in a beneficial way

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#436

Nah, never mind. He looks more like an older, crazier version of Opie from the Sons of Anarchy. Everytime I’m feeling him looking at me, I glance at him and he looks away.

#437

Maybe he thinks you’re a celebrity.

#438

Funny you said that cuz that occurred to me on my way back to work.

#439

I decided that for the time being, I’m dropping Wanted and utilizing Ascension again.

SoL (1)
Ascension (1)
R.I.C.H (1)

Will be today’s playlist

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#440

What is SoL?

#441

The name of his custom: “Son of Lightning”

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#442

SoL: Sun in Spanish which is completely coincidental (or was it…?)

It’s also the name of my custom, the Son of Lightning :slight_smile:

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#443

SoL gives me pressure in my brain as I’m listening to it that fades gradually and becomes normal.

Ascension is still pretty smooth with a bit of pressure (it has been a few months I think)

R.I.C.H though. This one for whatever reason seems like a breath of fresh air almost the entire time, every time, with only pulsating here and there. I wonder what this means.

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#444

08/13/21

A woman gave me her number on this day in history. The funny part about it is that I personally did not even ask, my coworker next to me did.

She asked me to grab a business card and she wrote down her number but right before handing it to me wrote down her Instagram as well.

She’s got a great body but not really attractive to me in the face.

Another girl I was joking with at work about never having smoked weed proper and her needing to remedy that with me (she said she does edibles) took me completely seriously and came back to me about a minute later talm bout “but yeah we do need to remedy that” while staring at me intently.

I literally stared at her for about 2 seconds before realizing it might be polite to get her number lol.

Both in the same day.

I’m also noticing female coworkers eyeing me more and more and beginning to thaw.

More on the rest of my results later. Seeing as Primal isn’t my only core/title :rofl:

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