So the other day, birthday girl from this account and me were chatting at my dad’s PT appointment. I asked her how her birthday went and she said it was good, went on to tell some accounts and ended saying she got so drunk that she couldn’t walk up her stairs.
I was like, “See, this is why you should have invited me. I would have taken care of you.”
She replied sure you would but couldn’t carry my fat ass up the stairs though.
I said:
“You ain’t heavier than my dad and I’m the only one who can pick him up if he falls.”
Her and her coworker - the same one from the last account quoted - asked me how much I could bench. I have no clue so I kept bullshitting then finally said “no idea, but I’m sure I could bench you.” To birthday girl.
She’s tall, has some enormous tiggies and a healthy rear but she ain’t fat.
She stared at me for like 2 seconds, considered and said, “Pick me up.”
I was like, “Right here? Right now?”
She was like “Yeah.”
So, I got my ass up and was like you want me to throw you over my shoulder or just pick you up?
She said “Pick me up!”
So I shrugged and picked her ass up with little difficulty and bounced her up and down while my dad and her coworker looked on.
I held her up for a few seconds and she was like “Iight iight you pass, you got it.”
That same day, we were talking about sugar mamas. I asked the one I picked up if she knew anybody who’s willing to put in an application to be my sugar mama.
She said nah but that her coworker could be my sugar mama.
I raised my voice and brought the other girl into the convo and she said, “hell nah. I can’t give you money.” Then after the slightest pause she was like, “But I can give you sugar.”
Without missing a beat - only cuz she has a husband, they both do - I said “well shit imma need more than just some sugar to go down with all that, I’m staying away from diabetes.” Had my dad roaring and they got a kick out of it.
i remember OG Wanted talked about that in the sales page.
