NewLease; Growing Up


I missed out on a lot growing up and I am at that point where I believe that I am ready to let that go and move on. I’m ready to accept that I am an adult with responsibilities but that doesn’t mean I can’t live a happy life. I was trying to figure out whether it should be Stark or Emperor. I listen to Stark last night and Emperor the night before. I’ve decided on Emperor because I need to work on myself in terms of maturity. In terms of dating and relationships if something happens then something happens but I’m not focusing on that and won’t be for a while.


Good to see that there’s a trend on here that sees mature personal growth as worthwhile. Emperor is the crack code.


I agree. First SubClub sub I ever bought and the one I always come back to. This time its the one I’m sticking with.


@NewLease what happened to your profile pic? For a second I thought this was another user!

Let me guess...

Your lease on the old photo was up :smiley:


lol just needed a change


I’m at that part of reconciliation where I feel nervous. Just have to ride this out.


Last night I felt the urge. My mind was telling me that Emperor wouldn’t help but I didn’t listen. Right now I’m feeling relaxed and content. Just a while ago though a painful memory just popped up and I guess I have to come to terms with. I feel Emperor already working to let it go.


Last night I went to bed early and this morning I woke up early and couldn’t fall back asleep. Still feeling the temptation to switch subs but I know it’s reconciliation. Before it was switching to StarkQ now it’s Daredevil. The paranoia of being alone forever is also there and trying not to let it get to me.


I just made a dumbass mistake in the office and I’m paying for it right now. Windows wanted to update and instead of rescheduling it I chose to restart now thinking it wouldn’t be that long that was almost an hour ago. I will say I’m not freaking out about it as much as I normally would. I’m calm but annoyed because today is supposed to be a busy day. Crap!


It could be reconciliation but something just occurred to me and I would appreciate your opinions. I’ve never hid that that my social life is not that impressive and that my dating life is non-existent and this has been the case for the longest time. Could choosing Emperor be me choosing to be alone? Would love to hear your thoughts.


Who are you chatting with?


I think only you can answer this question yourself because only you truly know yourself and your motives. Emperor doesn’t mean you have to be alone ,sure it maybe not the best sub to be social and meet girls, but sometimes someone may need to run emperor to get there life sorted so in the future they can be better equipped to have that Social life and dating life.
But only you can answer that question about does choosing emperor mean are you choosing to be alone


No one. It’s me and Emperor


My life is in a decent spot can’t complain but can’t brag either. Only time will tell if it is reconciliation or something else. I don’t remember feelings like this lasting this long though.


@SubliminalUser where you asking who I was talking to specifically or who I’m getting advice from?


I think Emperor is digging at something that has been there for a while and I am handling it poorly. I think there are parts of myself I liked that Emperor just isn’t tolerating. I guessing things that are beta. I never understood until now how tough Emperor is; it removes even somethings you don’t want to but have to.


This one. Looks like it was just a question to the reader.


Yeah I was going through something lastnight lol


I notice that I daydream a lot about getting into conflicts and at times standing my ground no matter the consequences. Sometimes I think that even if my friends and family abandon me I’ll be fine, but then I have to give my skull a quick shake because why would I go so far as to push away everyone that I love. Emperors don’t burn bridges reel it in NewLease. Again these a daydreams. Also I notice that I still have issuses with being assertive. Still worry about getting other people mad or getting on someones nerves. I stutter when I talk sometimes as well like just a while ago on the phone SMH.

Other than that though I feel really chill and kinda good. I feel like EVQ has finished working on whatever it was working on and now that piece of reconciliation is over.


Crazy night last night. Had to rush down to the office to help my father with something really urgent and then had to go and get some documents signed and then rush back to where to the people who needed the documents and then finally head home while hoping we wouldn’t get pulled over because of curfew. By the time I reached home, I felt a headache coming on. Had a drink because I earned it and after 20 minutes or so went to bed.

Had the craziest dream that trying to describe it would be difficult because a lot of randomness and I can’t remember everything; so I won’t bother. I remember talking to 2 girls one after the other and got rejected. The first barely paid attention to me and the second laughed at me like “are you serious?” The reason for my hesitation in real life. Also the first girl was a martial artist and the second was a soldier if that means anything.