New Lease; The Journey Begins


#22

So there was an issue at school that resulted in me having to go up there to sort it out, and I felt anxiety. Thinking about it though it might have been worse if I wasn’t using Emperor. I will definitely have to stick with this for a while before I truly handle things like an Emperor.


#23

Being running Emperor on set and forget and I think my mind is feeling a little fatigue. Decided to take a complete break for the weekend and start again Monday.


#24

Not taking the break again, currently running EV3 on set and forget. Call me paranoid :man_shrugging:


#25

I am getting horny and all i want to do is watch porn. Been this way for a while but really felt it yesterday and today. There I said it.


#26

I was about to post something kinda depressing but I’m not going to. Its just reconciliation right now, I’ll get past it. Just impatience.


#27

Something is happening in my mind. I don’t know if it is racing or getting beaten to a pulp but something is happening. Its like a headache without the pain, does that make sense?


#28

Nevermind it’s just a headache


#29

I feel like I just woke up after having a bad cold. Where you feel better, but you know you were definitely sick.


#30

Last night I decided to take a 2 day break from Emperor Last night was the first that I went without the ultrasonic playing all night (did use it all day prior though) and now I feel amped! I think my mind is just trying to sort everthing out. I feel a lot of energy right now.


#31

Decided to stack Iron Throne. I’ll get back to you all soon. Actually tomorrow. Both Emperor V3 and Iron Throne are playing on set and forget. Not taking any breaks.


#32

Decided to go back to only Emperor. I’m being impatient and not giving it a fair chance. Will still keep posting on this journal daily the things that happen whether big or small. Been using others in addition to Emperor and all i want to do is drink.


#33

Had a dream and actually remembered a bit of it. I have no idea what the dream meant but yeah :+1:


#34

I want my own empire and I want to be able to take empires down (ya’ll get the reference :wink:) but what I want is to enjoy to have a dating and sex life that I can be proud of. So I am making a switch to Primal, just Primal. Emperor has made changes but not in ways that I can appreciate because of what I am lacking. This feels like the right decision and I’ll keep leaving updates with my progress.


#35

Last night had a dream about a few things. Pro Wrestling was one and it was kinda funny and school was another and the girls were into me. There was also a talk show where strippers were on the stage. The host touched one of the the strippers and got in trouble. The producer walked on stage and thats it.


#36

Had two dreams last night after finally falling asleep. First one involved Louis Litt from Suits; he was talking about finally letting go, can’t remember too well. I think it might be a metaphor for letting go of girls I missed my opportunity with.

The second one involved Ronda Rousey and I was definitely beta in that one. She and bunch of ppl where in an auditorium and something similar to the Gillette commercial (the cringy one) came on a silver screen. All the girls booed and hissed saying they want real men and Ronda screamed “I don’t even know what you are selling!”


#37

Don’t take girls advice from Louis Litt :wink:

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#38

I don’t have control over my dreams dude :rofl: but I get what you are saying.


#39

More dreams last night. From what I remember I was at a college type party except no one there was college age. Everyone was like late 20s to mid 30s and have a good time. I’m in my late 20s myself and I always felt like I should be doing more and probably making up for lost time.

Also in that dream a girl who I had a crush on for years was in it. In it I believed I just made up an excuse to see her. This is because when I reached her front, the excuse sounded stupid in my head.

Primal is trying to work something out in me.


#40

The dreams got weird in a scary way last night. Giant hands came out of the ground of an island that I was on and started chasing me and everyone and the arms stretched and stretched and stretched. The boats were barely fast enough to get away. Also a weird one involving what I think MK Ultra mind control would look like. That was messed up. I don’t understand what any of that means.


#41

I’ve decided to wipe the slate clean, so I’ve bought Khan. Just put Total Breakdown on set and forget.