Results Day 3 of my Secret Stack
I got out of my idiotic funk. I delved way too deep into New Age stuff for a while and started to lose sight of reality. Don’t get me wrong, I still have an undying fascination with new spiritual movements and esoteric crap, however, I have to face facts.
Last year when I was taking massive action and journaling and following all the instructions, I was getting massive results. Results that have changed my life entirely.
But then I got weird. I kept listening to subliminals, but started listening to hours and hours of LOA stuff, and eventually got to the point where I really kinda stopped taking action. I started shifting responsibility for my life off of myself and onto “other forces” “guiding me.” I stopped being accountable to myself, and started to become a fatalist. When things would go wrong, I would just cower, like a dog taught to fear an unknown and unseen threat.
My little dark age has given me extreme empathy for certain religious types taught and programmed to fear an unseen force that guides and manipulates their lives. They are stagnated by their utter fear of angering a force that they can neither see nor understand, while shiting responsibility for life’s beauty and tragedy onto a force of nature that, if it exists, is certainly far beyond what they understand it to be, and is (unbeknownst to them) an amoral force of reality.
The nature of what we might call God, is from all my searching, something akin to “pure love.” What people fail to realize is that this “pure love” is, by the best evidence I can muster for defining it, not a moral egoic thing. Morals are human inventions that spring from evolutionary impulses. Moral behavior (common emergent morals that appear to be universal across time and culture) is undoubtedly, an evolutionary script. In short, cooperation and a level of kindness are simply more beneficial to the survival of humanity than their inverse. Empathy is also a reality of the human brain. Our mirror neurons are direct physical evidence for the biological reality of empathy.
God, however, whatever that thing is that people encounter in the mystical trance or psychedelic state that they identify with God, simply is amoral, because, from the perspective of that force, morals don’t make sense. The “pure love” aspect of God, is total, so total that our minds struggle to make sense of it without relating it to ordinary human experience. It’s logically pure, and if it’s “pure love” in perfect totality, that means that it’s simply impossible for it to contain anything other than, pure love. For in its totality, it contains all, and all is love. What does this mean for us here in a world currently facing hardship, well, in practical terms, it might not really mean much of anything at all. Useless things typically only have an aesthetic value, practically speaking, the jury is out.
Reality functions as a whole, not as segmented little units. What’s good for the spider, is hell for the fly, and from the perspective of a human being observing nature, we seem to be able to see this. We don’t call the lion evil for eating the gazelle, that’s simply what lions do. These two animals are simply a tiny, tiny, tiny expression of a cosmic ecosystem. This is to say that from the perspective of God, the same is true of us. There is no room for good and evil, what is, simply what is, and it is all is part of a large whole that’s bound by seeming laws of cause and effect.
This little digression about God is really just pure philosophy and research and was meant to be the subject of a now-abandoned graduate thesis. I’ve never truly encountered this force, and I don’t intend to attempt to, not anymore.
Because what I now understand is that I am part of a cosmic ecosystem. Humanity needs the mystic in the cave as much as it needs the seducer, the poet, the musician, and the scientist. It’s simply the expression of the utmost foolishness to attempt to become “everything” because humanity needs everything. It needs all of us. It needs the billionaire as much as it needs that dude in the woods who makes YouTube videos about his microbudget off-grid homestead.
Back to my little story and lesson.
These habits of mind that I started to develop caused me to become adversarial toward the subliminals. Looking back, I got to a point where I started actively fighting against the changes that the subliminals and my subcon were trying to make.
How this didn’t result in stonewalling? Well, not sure. I think stonewalling is actually exceedingly rare. I think many of the “no results” crowd might be engaging in habits similar to the ones that I was engaging in. They might be unwittingly fighting an uphill battle against themselves by deliberately (though unintentionally) blocking the results by their own laziness, blame-shifting, responsibility shifting, and by not sensitizing themselves to the reality of the reconciliation experience.
However, I’ve now given up on the idea of being able to give advice to people. Though the saying goes, “those who cannot do, teach,” that little idiom has never sat well in my stomach. The hypocritical teacher can be invaluable, for by their own failures they have found wisdom that can lead others to success, however, I personally, have no desire to teach by the nature of my failure. Actually, I don’t desire to teach at all, though, for some strange reason, I often find myself attempting to do it.
You see the desire to teach can be noble, it can also be a representation of resistance within the teacher. The teacher may teach as a way of avoiding doing what they really wish to do yet lack the courage to do. Does this speak to me? Yes, I’ve often found myself attempting to teach and coach others to conceal myself from the revelation that I lack the courage to become that which I seek to become.
Better then, to be a guide. A teacher teaches, but a guide is one that leads others down paths that they themselves have wandered down. The guide is the one who has already done what the initiate wishes to do.
This distinction between teacher and guide is perhaps what has caused me to form such a deep fascination with the esoteric because many esoteric schools operate on the initiate and guide structure.
There is simply no substitute for personal experience. Experience builds a kind of intuitive intelligence that is, so far as I can tell, impossible to gain from burying your nose in a book. We are material creatures, and our brains are built to experience, to feel, to sense, and to manipulate things in our material environment.
Yes, there is much to see within the mind, but I’d rather see into the minds of others.
Just touch some grass for godsake and stop the endless philosophizing and spiraling yourself into an intellectual cacoon that protects you from living the very life that you examine with such profound rigor.
That’s just me though. The world needs the philosopher and the teacher as well, I am neither, I touch grass and the cheek of my lover as often as I can and I do spiritual techniques for the utility that they provide as a source of mental and physical training.
I see no point in chasing enlightenment anymore, there is a world to live in, and I can be enlightened on the next go around the wheel of samsara.
Yeah, that’s over. Nietzsche killed God, the psychedelic 60s brought him back to life; I killed the philosopher within myself, and brought back to life he who lives life.
It was necessary to become my ideal self, this silly little journey of mine. I needed to enter the hearts and minds of these people. Looking back, it was kinda like an anthropological study where I put myself into the mindstates and habits of the people that interested me to figure out how they tick and how they see the world.
What’s come of it? A whole lot of things, but now I’m back where I began, and God does it feel good to be back at square one.
I’ll probably never write something like this again, because I’ve got a life to live that will pass with or without me, but it’s been nice to reminisce on where I’ve been and where I’m going.
Can you guess what subliminals I’m running?
and I’m micro looping the other titles in my stack.