Am writing this out of an unknown emotion am feeling am horny,am feeling headaches, am feeling dizzy,bored at the same time am feeling like I want to cry about something.
I don’t understand this, my head is filled up with some chemicals I don’t know off. I go outside to people l feel like not. I go outside to catch fresh breath I feel like am choking. Ohh God help me.
This might be recon or something I smoked in my dreams last night!!
Currently I have been so lazy to update this journal. I feel lazy , always sleeps and sleep again.
I am also drinking a lot of water to the extent that I always keep a gallon of water when 'm sitting a home.
I also experience hard erections a this while.
I bedwet sometimes when sleeping without my knowing until I wake up. This started since I started WantedZp.
Hey Celestial, what’s your listening schedule like?
Monday- Am ZP and Wanted
Tuesday- Rest
Wednesday-Am Zp and Wanted
Thursday Rest
And so on
Okay. I like your journal and I’m rooting for you. Do you feel you’re being overexposed by the scripts?
@Billions mentioned to me that playing each title atleast once a week is a lot smoother, and I tried it and it worked better.
Wanted and Ascended Mogul on the same day is a lot of programming 
Even when I was doing: Wanted, rest, AM, rest… it still felt like a lot
I now do:
Ascended Mogul,
rest,
rest,
Wanted,
rest,
and then at the end of the week, I listen to AscensionChamber to manifest more specifically.
I really hope it helps you out
Thanks for the tag!
Yeah. I do personally believe that recon is not something you should muscle through or try to apply a “tough it out” mentality.
To me, it’s like if your bicep is in a lot of pain after doing a curl wrong. Do you keeo curling? No! You take a break. There’s also good pain at the gym that you can keep going through, but that pain…
So if you’re chronically in recon, stop. It’s like regularly exercising an injury. Take a few days off and then come back with a bit of a less intense routine.
Over time I realized my ideal schedule is somewhere between 2x and 3x a week, rather than every second day. Any higher than that, and I’m stuck in the boom-bust cycle of results/recon/repeat forever. With less loops, I feel more in control, results are steady with no downtick, and my productivity is way up because recon isnt slowing me down. Especially when I find myself in a bout of recon, that makes me realize I’m in recon because my brain wanted less subliminals than I gave it, or maybe even wanted a break and i ignored it.
Just my 32 cents.
Today I left to buy condiments for soup cooking. I stood one-side to buy meat. I saw one lady cutting vegetables. My body jolted and chemicals flow through me like I was on drugs. I looked away to talk to the woman I wanted to buy meat from. The girl came around showing off her ass and body, I just pretended on what I was doing as if I didn’t see her.
After buying the meat, I left somewhere around that place to buy something else she come over my side and was trying to cross me facing me I held her hand for somewhile and left her , she commented on whether I wanted to buy something. I didn’t reply or said anything.
After I left the scene I started regretting while I didn’t talk to her.
Which kind of act was that?, I left this evening in hope to see this girl again but I didn’t see her.
AM Zp washout
Today marks up to a month I had been on Am zp am dropping it off and continue with only Wanted solo.
•I noticed inner sense of peace and calmness.
•Strong sense of sexual tension whenever I come across the feminine.
•Laziness to even hit the gym-This week I only went once .
•I feel a kind of Hungry or something related to thirsty inside me, I can’t really explain that feeling.
Planning to buy Apple cidar vinegar for heal my gut and digest nutrients faster.
So far since I started washout for Am, I haven’t listened to Wanted Zp too.
Yesterday I fell into the loop of PMO. Pmo is just a drug that once you see one video the novelty makes you to come back for more and more when In actually it doesn’t feel any void or satisfy you at the latter time, it’s just shit that I don’t understand why human brain wants it!!( Novelty, shock)
After 4 sessions of PMO and , I came back to my senses.
One loop of Wanted Zp today.I noticed I didn’t feel that bad but that doesn’t mean I will stick to this bad habit. I need to move on and get busy. I always fall in the Pmo stuff whenever I don’t have plans of what I will do the next day.
This previous post was meant to be posted 5days ago I just noticed It didn’t go through.
It hasn't been easy on me, I have to work on my social aspect of life because am typically a book wormer that thinks life is about reading books upon books!!
Lies I have been telling myself, I need to game up my social aspect of life cause that’s where I don’t have anything going on…
Also this knowing too much about the health aspects of some booze like (cigars,beer,whiskey infact alcohol as a whole, sluts ) also contributes to making me lose interest even when my friends intice me to tag along. How do I deal with this ?
And It seems weird when you tag along with friends and they bought beer for you but you say No!! Or when others are drinking you are busy staring at them.
I am not afraid of the fear missing out on anything but does this kind of picky lifestyle of mine lead to unsociable kind of vibes?
Also whenever I remember I gat no money ( except from paycheck I use for survival) I back off in a promise that I will do all this things when I have the cash : But doesn’t it seem like am not living in the Moment?
I need answers from guys that have been through this kind of shit!!
Removed Am after it’s washout and added Regeneration.
Now I listen to
Regeneration and Wanted solo one loop and rest for 2 days.
Yipee Am back!!!
I only have to rejoice!!!
Finally! You might ask what is this dude so excited about? Well…I will tell you in a second.
I Cracked a code , how to excape the illusion that PORN has implanted in our subconscious our mind , to remove that brainwashing belief that the society has instilled in us. I came across a book called easypeasy and discovered that I don’t need porn or any of it’s substitues anymore because of what??
Actually PORN DOES NOTHING FOR ME!!.
So far I have dived deeper into Copywriting skills I have learnt a lot last week thanks to my mentors! Also started sleeping early around 10pm and I noticed a massive increase in energy.
Tomorrow am gonna start Wanted along with Am and continue my journey here.
Thanks @ Luther24 , Calm and Alex those who has been supportive all this while.
Am Scared…God!!
After running one half loop of Wanted Zp, I went to sleep around 11pm something happened…I will show you in a second.
I left this Earth to the land of the dead will I say I started dreaming. First it all started with me and my friends where in a room and news came over that some sort of Army Men is about raid us.
Everybody started running and panicking and excaping …, gush !!. I called my friend he told me that we should use another road in which others are not using to excape claiming he knows some secret way,I agreed and we left.
We trespassed through bushes and thorns to enter a black scary door, he told me we will reach a point we will start fighting creatures like that, he taught me how to fight them when they come, minutes later the creatures started coming and we started killing them one by one till there is none left.
After that session we left the path and I entered another path where I saw a woman and a girl. The woman said I should sit down. The place looked like a sacred place or something of sort.
I sat down after enchanting words like that she asked the girl to tell me to pull off my clothes. I was like Why? As I was asked I have see the girl pulling off her own I followed.
After doing so the girl told me let’s do threesome I will fuck her and the girl will fuck my ass. I kinda agreed and as the woman wanted to insert her dick(I don’t know whether she is transexual or what) I said no am not a homosexual she can’t fuck my ass.
She said okay and I continued to rumble the young lady and I fucked her different styles, at a point she told me to wear condom that she doesn’t want to hear story . I did I continued fucking her. At a point the woman I rejected to fuck my ass she called up another man that got there to fuck her,the man agreed and fucked her .
I was still at one corner fucking my own lady. After the session me and the girl left for outside. She was showing me around.
After we came back to that room and I was will say telling the girl to give me a tweak or something,she did after …the woman and the young lady started having misunderstanding and they started shouting.
I left for outside when they where still quarrelling I felt my sense of self again I wanted to go home. I tried to escape from the vicinity I went to the backyard and show one big building. I searched and searched a way of excape and later meet a man sitting in his shop and asked him where this place was he TOLD me"You can’t go back this place is for those who has DIED" . I shouted and cried but I didn’t die the last time I checked I looked at him and he waved his head off.
I cried and cried and cried and later work up with fear. This is 3.45am everybody is still sleeping, I started praying after any force against me before I started typing this here.
Am yet to understand the nature of this dream!!
Hey hey how’s yours results so far with Wanted? In the aspects of physical and seduction results? I’ve been reading threw your journal so I’m curious to see what you say:)
So far…my neighbors and my sister too telling me that my arms are getting bigger which I myself barely notice.
Also I eat too much this days an average meal is not enough.
•Whenever I wake up I have this feeling like my tummy is more constricted and flat.
•Always get erections at night whenever am sleeping.
•I feel nauseated and always want to drink water,also urinate too much.
•I woke up today it looked like am much taller let me say one inch but I cant tell because am not with measurement scale.
•I don’t go out much for now because our school is on strike, I go out sometimes in the evening.
•Sometimes I feel down and unable to approach the feminine even when I notice she z giving me green light.
I don’t know if this is the effect of Wanted or something else.
I find it hard to look at a beautiful feminine whenever I go outside. Even the girl I usually talk to before I find it hard to light up and ask her about how she z doing. Even those girls around me I find myself so Calm and mute just observing.
Or is it because I mostly stay at home reading out my eyes everyday? Am just confused 
.
Brothers over here I want to ask…what do you do as fun when you are not studying, watching movies or playing videogames (any thing that is aside High dopamine thrill of the digital world)?
This could be recon, or it could just be more temporary recon caused by healing some fears around communication.
Or it could just be wanted making you more reserved and less bubbly, and maybe you’re used to being the bubbly excited one and aren’t used to being calmer! But it’s okay. Let it happen and let HER be the excited one. You be the solid one that she somehow loves talking to.
It’s such an addiction. Going out for walks is good. It reduces recon… saint is doing an open bounty test on walking’s effect on recon right now!
Otherwise, try and be active in group environments with other people. Im in a mens group. I occassionally play badminton with friends. I try and spend some time with my family. And im passionate about my work so i work a lot. It all keeps me busy!
Am just wondering… even to look up to girls in the face I find it hard.
Am planning on to go out to watch football in a viewing center,or chat with like friends.
I noticed am addicted to reading,I even prefer reading some junk shit I downloaded online than to make actual conversation with my friends. I have to work on it ,learn how to spend time with people. I noticed I don’t have friends like I mean real Gees(guys)
Build my social aspect of myself am lacking a lot at that aspect. I always tell myself one shit of the other whenever it comes to human conversation.
Like going to watch football match with friends.
Going to club with my classmates.
Hang out in events in my faculty.
I will always say time is important let me build myself and make money before flexing my life which is SHIT MINDSET!