These last few days have been weird, just a lot of staying at home doing nothing, I did go for a hike once and that nature change of atmosphere was amazing and much needed.
Other then that nothing much has changed, I’m still eating shit and doing close to nothing, I just saw a video of myself boxing today and realised I have become fuckin huge, and I feel like shit coz of it, my body is trembling as I write this, I lost a lot of weight the past two years and sadly gained all of it back, I feel like shit and I really need to do something about this,all my clothes are super tight and I have barely anything to wear 
1 Like
It’s been a while so here’s my update a few days back I stopped the subs coz I got ringing twice for a second, took a break and drastically reduced the volume as per fires instructions, hope it still works tho, since I’ve been back no pain but not noticed anything much other then the fact that I was in class today and started doing an exercise where I imagined I had all the money in the world, and started listing down what all I would do first it started with many egoistic what will I buy stuff but then it went on to what I want to accomplish and a lot more positive things I guess I’m not sure if it’s the right way to put it, it was a really great experience and made me feel driven and amazing and I came up with about 60 things, I’m gonna be doing the 5 days on 2 days off from now so that I don’t damage my ears and unfortunately it’s finally time to let go of primal coz I have my third semester which I need to ace coz I didn’t do anything the last two semesters so I might get kicked out if I screw this one up, so I’m gonna be switching to limitless and reducing the other two also, time to lock myself up and go full on study mode 
, 2 days off this weekend and Monday onwards it begins
2 Likes
I have been listening to the subs and due to the fact that I reduced the volume it really feels like it’s too soft and I can’t hear anything, I’m not sure it working coz I reduced the volume of the superchargers and I couldn’t hear anything, trying to reduce the volume did I go too low or 
I’m confused tbh
1 Like
Update time
These past few days have been hard I don’t think I spoke about it much in my journal but a lot of stuff has happened so get ready for a long ass post.
Firstly I finally started a diet, got a meal prep service which is good,and I’m excited to see how it goes,especially since there have been mixed reviews about it. In terms of gym, my body is developing but I’m realising that I lack a lot of strength and basic endurance and willpower. I can’t really go up, I keep lifting the same weights and even a little bit higher seems heavy, I give up easily and can’t push myself to do extra reps, and I am trying to stop ego lifting and focusing a bit on the form but it’s hard to let go coz my weight goes considerably lower, also the diet makes me feel tired a lot coz of the low calories and I do end up making excuses to skip gym sometimes. I have been getting really really into fashion and trying to dress better but due to my body it’s really hard for me to look good and coupled with the fact that I don’t wanna spend much coz I might lose weight in a few months and all those clothes will go to waste kinda stops me from buying stuff, it’s often difficult finding the right size for me and due to the way I look in the clothes it often puts me off whenever I go for shopping trips
3 Likes
Part 2
A group I had stopped hanging out a few days back mainly coz of me coz I got tired of always trying to organise everything and I got tired of them always saying no I just decided fuck it I can’t be bothered, this hit me hard tho and I felt like shit, there was this once chick in the group who I could be myself 100% with coz I had no neediness at all coz I wanted nothing from her and it was a great support system to let loose and be myself without trying to please anybody and I decided these r the kinda people I wanna end up with one day, problem was she was part of that group and ever since I stopped hanging out it kinda feels like a break up tbh coz I went from talking to her everyday to not and it has been hard for me, I often find myself thinking about her all day long, and it’s hard moving on from this friendship, this makes me scared coz imagine if I’m like this now whey will happen when I actually go through a break up coz it is gonna happen at some point, I guess it’s just part of being human and everyone goes through it, this also did make me want to go back home coz I wanted a break to change my atmosphere and get a few days off but it’s just an excuse and also the fact that my parents keep saying ok come back ok don’t really pisses me off, part of me wants to go back and part of me doesn’t and this confusion is annoying
Gtg for now but more coming soon
2 Likes
Anyone noticed they leave subs playing and once they get up it’s paused, happened to me today and I found it kinda freaky
Update- not much has been going on just off and on, I am really feeling lonely now that I don’t have anyone and I’m becoming more and more desperate in order to just accept anyone and all my high standards r going down the drain, I’m also not progressing much and I’m just stuck, this can be seen by this dream I’ve been having lately where I am getting back home but I always get down in the wrong spot and then I’m like fuck and try to find my way back and I circle around and waste a lot of time before I get back and then I’m just skipped to a part where it’s an easy straight route that I take to get back without any problems but the first part where I’m lost always is unresolved and the second I go through the second part I immediately get up, also regen is bringing up a lot of shitty emotions and makes me feel like shit all day long and it gets amplified when I’m running it, I’m wondering if it’s worth continuing if all it’s doing is making me feel like shit
3 Likes
In other areas I had a mentor manifestation from primal a few weeks back and even though I’m not running it anymore he’s still there, but my lack of motivation and action taking really pisses him off each session and it makes me scared that he might leave, I fire myself up that I’ll do good this session but the second he comes, I feel like there’s a wall in front of me and I keep hitting it with a hammer but it barely cracks, also my approaches r super weak due to which I get no results whatsoever, one chick showed interest becoz of my looks but then I ran away from that set coz I was afraid of blowing it and that resulted in a flake, everytime I do a set I feel like a weak,starving puppy in winter
2 Likes
I’m doing a inner game programme and holy shit things r coming up so much more easier I have had so much given to me by my shadow that otherwise wouldn’t have been possible at all and I’m having a lot of epiphanies and feel myself improving in general, on the other hand I’m struggling with my weight a lot and that often kills my mood
2 Likes
Update time, just had a dream, last few days I have been seeing how people don’t just give me what I want and it has been eye opening for me since all this while I expected to just walk by and for people to just give me anything I ask them, worst part is I get mad when I ask and they do not give, and now the fact that I actually need to work for it and provide massive value to people is kinda eye opening for me. Anyways in my dream me and my coach end up at this random place where this couple and her mum I think are there, they r either getting married or counciling idk but the chick isn’t dressed in a marriage outfit, but it’s a very strange location since I remember saying that this island has some great women and they all seem super on, coz she kept looking at me, this often happens irl where I end up doing nothing, 
, anyways my coach just goes in and they both touch each other cheek to cheek and then get super on and frisky and the mother is telling the daughter to stop and the guy is so beta he doesn’t even do anything, I found this eye opening since I feel like it shows how I need to jump when I get a chance or it will pass by me, I can’t just wait for things to happen to me, also I need to be more alpha, more masculine and I need to make my intent clear and not dilly dally around like a sissy. These past few days I have been really moving from a mental state of fuck everything that moves to screen for quality women which is nice and I can feel myself doing better automatically and being more real, best part is I’m not even using any of the game subs, also from the dream I feel like it might be something for my coach but I highly doubt that, coz he is a good coach, it’s just that he doesn’t like putting up with me that much, but if I were in his place I’d do the same since I can see the way I am so negative during sessions and it really sucks, I don’t blame him but I guess I don’t like it that much when he just zones out or takes our coaching kinda casually, I guess I need to become a better student and more dedicated instead of just hoping that just because I got a coach everything will be solved and not blaming him when i don’t take the right action. I have been slowly improving taking action tho, just not at the pace I want and I’m not getting the results I want, but the results I want come from years of hardwork, not 5 mins of approaching and expecting the girl to be ready to do anything and everything just because u opened her.
3 Likes
My sleep schedule has really sucked and I have been feeling super low, but I can feel myself cleaning out stuff and I see mood changes, but it’s really hard to fight through all this garbage, but there is no other option, only problem is it’s not easy and I’m not used to working this hard but it’s something I have to learn and I’d better learn it at this age then be how I am in my 20s, I really want to get all these areas of my life handled asap
3 Likes
Also one more thing I forgot to mention, in the dream I remember thinking, maybe I should just ask him if I can go with her after him, or with him or instead of him now that I see how easy she is but when I got up I felt disgusted at that thought since I am basically ready to settle for anything just because I’m not man enough to do anything and now that I think about it that guy who sat there and did nothing might have been a representation of me since I’ll do anything in order to get some since I am so desperate for it and I have lost all my standards and self respect, I have gained some of it back through actually understanding the importance of screening for what I want and to not just go with anyone who is ok to be with me, but I still have a long way to go and I need to not give in to my mind convincing myself that it’s ok to go with people who I don’t like just because it’s better then no one
2 Likes
I just remembered something the dream was something that happened to me with another coach, obviously it was a different environment and situation but I guess I still held on to it
2 Likes
It’s been a while, and I have switched around my stack a bit, used limitless for a bit due to my exams but never studied much, but it still went decently and I could notice limitless strengthing my brain power and working in many other ways, now I’ve started ascension since Wednesday because these past few months have not been ideal and I have fallen back down and it’s time for me to get up, dust myself off and get back on track, I have been really angry on ascension and lashing out all the time, today something happened tho which I’m happy for but a little scared, I had a cab driver (in India we have these cheap cabs called rickshaws) and he took me 200 m and I told him wait I need to get something form a shop, he refused and told me to pay up and I held my ground and refused to pay as he was wrong in the end I did pay him, I lost my frame and he did threaten me and put two and two together based on where he picked me up deducing the area where I live, aulthough highly unlikely I think he might do something there’s like a 0.01 percent chance but I’m a bit paranoid especially after speaking to my grandmother but Even though I’m a bit paranoid I’m happy I stood up for myself and I have this low key feeling that worst case he will kill me, atleast I’ll die knowing I did not let someone as pathetic as him screw me over, atleast without fighting back
2 Likes
Ascension is hitting hard, it’s making me hate my current situation but I’m also feeling confused as to what to do exactly which makes it even worse, my willpower is not strong enough but it is definitely developing, I can feel it coz it’s targeting my two worst habits and throwing them in my face, almost like an army training where they want u to fail but will take u only if u don’t, it’s throwing it in my face so hard it’s painful but at the same time it’s keeping me from slipping into them again, I am feeling really easily angry and really egoistic and stuff but I do also feel waaay more dominant and I’m standing up for myself, I ran it ultrasound for a bit but my brother was benefitting from it and then he tried to act smart with me when I’m helping him so I switched to masked, let him be a loser I like this feeling of no one should fuck with me
4 Likes
Update I broke the first one due to a few reasons but try to control damages as soon as possible and the second one I almost broke it, there r too many triggers and it’s just driving me mad, I really need it but idk what to do since I know it’s bad for me, this weakness and also not doing anything even though I have so much to do is driving me crazy, I understand subs can make me take action but I feel so unmotivated to take action mostly that it’s just sad
2 Likes
Lets think in terms of Forced Action and Inspired Action.
Forced Action - desperation that lies beneath forces to make any kind of action for a purpose of action. 99% of this actions are useless.
Inspired Action - you feel urge to act, it is felt very naturally and brings benefits and quality results. And it doesn’t feel like an action its just “I cannot not do that”. Usually accompanied with feeling of certainty and faith.
Just my few coins.
4 Likes
I think we are on the same page. Explained the two types of actions on the other thread.
3 Likes
I have this sometimes and when I do it it feels amazing but often I talk myself out of it which I really hate as I don’t end up doing much then, I have never seen a better talker when it comes to talking myself out of taking action and falling into comfort but when I need to take action it’s as if everything disappears
3 Likes
The past few days have been interesting it’s hard listening to subs on masked but it’s ok, my sleep issues have now gone towards the other end where I notice myself sleeping for atleast 10 hrs min and I don’t really sleep on time anyways so it’s not like it’s changed much, I’m running the subs between 10-12 hrs 6 days a week at a very low volume (might be too low also but I’m trying to be on the safer side) so I don’t know if it’s too much for my subconscious but I don’t think so tbh
I had a HUGe release on Saturday, I went to my therapist I just joined one and this was my second session, while talking it came out that I have some pent up issues with my parents in regards to them not being there and she told me to go speak to them about this, I was really afraid and kept thinking I can’t do this, there r other ways to heal etc, but she said just do it it’s a golden chance to let go and make peace, when I was leaving I was thinking how to do it, I can’t do it etc but once I reached home I just let it all out and cried so much and spoke to my mum and she made me understand her side and she saw mine, and we spoke for a long time and even my father came back from work, to speak to me. It was really freeing and for the first time I saw my parents in a new light, I do feel a much stronger connection with my mum now but my father it’s yet far away from being built coz he’s more logical and it’s hard and dare I say weird 
connecting with him, it was a great release tho don’t know if it’s from regen after effects or maybe it’s part of ascension and it gave me more courage to just let it out rather then push it back in
4 Likes
These past few days have been interesting, I’ve really found myself questioning what I want out of life and questioning pretty much all my decisions. This confusion aulthough really scary makes me feel kinda hopeful as I now feel somewhere inside that I’m slowly moving closer to finding out more about myself and I feel comfortable in this uncomfortableness.
I have connected a lot with my parents and aulthough we still have a lot of different views and a lot of fights I’m actually starting to see them as my parents and not my enemies.
Other then that not much progress but I do feel a little bit more serious about my life and do feel some inspiration kicking in, aulthough there is a lot of doubt that comes with it. I guess it’s all part of the journey and now it’s time for me to grow
3 Likes