My Q Custom Journal - Desperately seeking romance?

Hey everyone,

So I figured, I’ll divide this into post into basically three parts.

  • My pre-subliminal history.
  • My history with subliminal club. My motivation for creating the custom sub.
  • My choices/reasoning behind the modules I picked, why, etc and what I hope to gain.

===Part 1 - My Pre Subliminal History===

Okay, so pre-subliminal history and what brought me to trying hypnosis, subliminals and other subjects is a concern my penis was changing in length/size – in the wrong-direction – due to some bad experiences in my youth/first sexual encounters. Long story short. Hot Tub water = not a good lubricant. Virgin + hot tub + no lubricant = bleeding dick b/c foreskin cut and pain on both parties account despite really wanting to try. Ouch yes. Honestly though, I wasn’t even that big. The thing is intellectually, I know I wasn’t “that big” at like 6.25" length by 5.75" girth. Slightly above average length. Slightly above average girth.

We were in a long distance relationship and only really visited eachother twice. The second time, we had some sexual-stuff happened but didn’t really attempt/get around to PIV. Overall, good times had by all parties b/c we went much slower and sans hot tub.

Next girlfriend, also virgin and also long distance (Japanese), complained it was too big/painful to fit in past the first inch or two – so once again – we did other stuff. Overall, good times had by all parties and I didn’t really mind much. Honestly, intellectually, in retrospect, I think she just wanted to stay a virgin before marriage as its custom in her country still or was in the country side where she came from in the early 2000s (different time, different standards shrug).

However, at the time, these two repeat incidents had a strange effect. I kept kind of replaying them in my head or sometimes daydreaming about them and I dunno. It was like they were bothering my unconscious? Unresolved? Maybe, its my imagination but I swear from the time I was 17 to mid 20s, it started to get a little thinner and smaller. When I finally got around to remeasuring in the mid 20s, it was closer to 5.75" / 5.5". So now closer to average length and nothing special in the girth department.

I was trying to figure out why intellectually in my head as I was getting good amounts of sleep, eating well, exercising pretty regularly at the gym and looked okay. Honestly, I weighed way more when I was 17 than mid 20s. I’d dropped from about 260lbs at my max to around 165lbs by 19 where I was quite skinny at 6’2 then through the gym worked my way up to the mid 180s by 22 while being pretty lean tbh and stayed there. I was still a bit skinny-fat and never really had “abs” but also never had a gut. I did have decent bicep/shoulder/back definition though. Slightly forearm definition. Stomach fat remained.

Till late mid to late 20s where I slowly climbed to 220 where I sit present. Not the all the ‘good’ weight gain and not ‘all bad’. So I’ve got a moderately dense-frame with probably 25 lbs of fat. Solid but some extra fat basically. My girlfriend once described me to her friend as “Carries some extra weight but it suites him – he has really broad shoulders”.

Now, I know penis size can decrease due to ‘fat pad’ so part of me wonders if my imagined ‘thinness’ and ‘shortening’ was gaining-weight? Except I know I had a lot less fat at 22 than I did at 17 and at 22 was probably the first time I measured and confirmed, it wasn’t all in my head. A ruler agreed. I think it was smaller at 22 than at 17.

So I guess maybe I thought it was subconscious because I’d often think about those formation-sexual memories of being too-big as I mentioned. Yet, intellectually, I’d try to convince myself those experiences like…weren’t true? weren’t so bad? bc it worked out well, right? There’s nothing wrong with hand jobs or blowjobs.

I knew, at least, at my old size and my current size was nothing most women can’t handle with ease and intellectually, I know at my current age of being in my late 30s, I won’t likely be finding any virgins. In fact, most women on my radar/level/opportunity to sleep with, have probably had a child and rumor has it women change after childbirth.

===Part 2 My History With Subliminal Club===

So putting the penis-motivation side, on a personal level, my life didn’t go the way I had really intended career-wise. Out of high school, I made an attempt at a local college and honestly, I was too into World of WarCrack at the time, gaming and just goofing around with my roommate at the time, than I was in my studies and well… I barely ended up passing a 2-year ‘Computer Information Systems’ program where I originally was planning for a 4 year Bachelor of Comp Sci but didn’t really get the grades to transfer from the “feeder school” into the first-tier university. So I sort of hit a bit of a wall after 2 years.

I used my degree to basically get a job doing IT tech support at a call-centre and it …paid decently. I spent a couple of years, walking regularly, dieting, working out and gaming. During that time, I had two long-distance relationships that taught me about communicating with women, lead to my first sexual experiences and overall I grew from being a fat-anime loving nerd to a fairly-sociable, competent person. Then I had an in-person girlfriend for about 2 years who had some health issues/mental issues and that should have taught me the value of picking a good girlfriend. However, I think due to low self esteem at the time, I felt any girlfriend was a great girlfriend as I was coming from the lucky-to-have-anyone-fat-anime-loving-nerd mindset, even though physically I’d transformed into a higher-value man.

However, after about 4 years at the job, we all had our jobs outsourced to Daksh, India. Nothing against that – as every company I guess is looking to reduce their bottom line – but customer service scores went wayyy down. I could still log into the company portal for like 2 years afterwards and occasionally checked, while chuckling at their incompetence, of never closing our accounts properly (if at all?).

I had a ton of vacation unused – enough to basically not work for 2 months with a full time income coming in. I loved my IT job, was fantastic and it and so never really felt the need to take time off as work didn’t feel like work. Work felt like fun and outside of work, gaming was more fun so I felt…great? Happy? even if my job didn’t really let me “get ahead” I was living comfortably. Around this time, I started to notice, measure and confirm my penis had gotten smaller so I began to do a lot of male-enhancement and sexual-healing subliminals from YouTube/free places and then eventually some paid ones trying to regain size. I didn’t regain any but I also stopped getting smaller so I considered that a win for the time-being.

Something about the ‘free-subliminals’ from some YouTube channels always raised alarm bells in the back of my head. I always had…questions. Having tried a few hypnosis mp3s for the same subjects first, I knew there were a lot of really controlling, perverted and weird people in the hypnosis communities on mIRC and stuff back in the day. So I always felt…sketchy about these “free” videos because I’d listen to different subs from lots of makers and I never really knew, ‘What is in this subliminal?’ ‘Who is …Channel name here?’, ‘did he/she/it put in like opposite suggestions to fuck with people?’, 'are the subliminals well made if they are “free” or do you get what you “pay for”, or “do the suggestions suck?”. I wondered these questions . Honestly, I wasn’t really sure if subliminals even worked.

Took my time off, traveled Asia, woohoo, came back, got a job through a family member at a union job where the pay was decent, benefits were good, pension was alright. It was that trap of like golden handcuffs though where you couldn’t move up fast b/c all promotions were based upon seniority and no amount of hard work would ever be appreciated – and – I was always kind of a “grinder” in mmorpgs, life, work, relationships, etc. I did find another irl girlfriend – but I had a fairly long gap of being single for about 5-6 years when I was working the union hospital job. Somewhere a bit before finding my new gf, I started to get into subliminals more and started to try paid ones for male enhancement and didn’t have much success. I was quite a believer in hypnosis and the unconscious though. It was around this time, I started into my subliminal journey’s “phase 2”. I began listening to paid-subliminals from here related to topics not penis-related like Khan/Mogule/Finance stuff.

Within a week or two, I was starting to re-evaluating if I wanted to work as a unionized worker for the next 3 decades, while continuing to pass my time with movies, tv and video games then retire to presumably more tv, movies and video games – or if I wanted…more. Was this a life worth living and lived well or a life wasted? I had a bit of a one-third life crisis/mid-life crisis. Maybe this was retcon or maybe it was the subliminal taking effect. It hurt a bit to reevaluate my life and start to think about why I was still working this job. However, finding my gf distracted me a bit from this train-of-though. Its good because I sort of needed these subliminals to kick me in the ass out of my ‘comfort’ zone. About a month into it, I started to manifest “opportunities” for side-gigs/work.

I wasn’t really using my education at my primary job as a “computer information systems”. However, family members started to ask me to tutor them in computer-software/basics – as I was working a union job in the laundry department. Doing physical labor/manual labor – which admittedly pays well and keeps you fit. Shortly after this time, people had heard about my tutoring of computer skill and this manifested into another opportunity. Initially I was asked by a family-friend to help their high school daughter and son who were grade 11/12 high school students. They considered me to be nerdy, knew I went to college and just kind of figured, nerds can help people with math because nerds are universally smart. They offered to pay me like $30/hr so I was like SURE. ILL TRY. After a year, it went from tutoring 11/12 to tutoring grade 12/first year engineering students, and then a year later first+second year math/engineering students and so on.

I guess they figured I’d graduated so I knew things and I kept studying their textbook in advance so I always knew what they were learning. I realized, I was actually pretty good at it and now that I was applying myself, this stuff was actually extremely easy. Intellectually, I knew I was fairly intelligent in my high school days as I have a few plagues at home from “top science 10 student” “top information sciences 11 student” “top bio 11 student” etc – but also spent 95% of my time playing starcraft 1 and broodwar and never studied. Sooooooo, lack of trying, not lack of aptitude. Strangely, putting effort in made things come really easy.

The next manifestation – resulting from subliminals here – was my girlfriend slapping me with reality-check. About a year after meeting my girlfriend, one day she basically got strangely angry and asked me "What the fuck are you doing working at a hospital laundry? You’re way to smart for that. You’re tutoring people in university subjects, you haven’t taken, by just self-studying physics (I corrected her its called statics/dynamics), chemistry (matter and energy) and math (calculus 1/2/3) at the same time – and helping them ace their courses, without even going to any of the lectures, doing any of the assignments or taking any of the tests – “so why the fuck, are you working at a hospital laundy?”

You’ve taught like 3 years rounds worth of students first year and started to teach them second and third-year courses!" and I didn’t really have an honest answer. I was basically doing the work of two harder degrees, without …getting a degree. What could I say? “Because, I don’t get challenged at my job, cannot fail as a student and repeat that mistake if I’m not taking any tests, and it is safe and comfortable? My job probably won’t get outsourced b/c its physical labor, I make a decent wage – but not great – though when I retire in 30 years I can have almost a full decent – but not great wage continuing to come in until the day I die?” However, I around that point was thinking to myself a bit.

DO I want to work this job for 30 years? IS this a good job because of the benefits and pension? I mean, I could afford a decent pc for gaming, new tvs every few years, new furniture, a place of my own and decent food. So I was …happy…right? I mean, I had tv, video games, movies and a gf…so I was …happy, right? I feel like I was trying to convince myself that my “golden handcuffs” were not chaffing and actually quite stylish. It sort of reminded me of what the subliminal was trying to reconile/force out earlier on.

Eventually, that lead to a bit of a dramatic-change/course shift in my life. So the following day, I signed up for university classes, three days later, took the entrance exam for an engineering-challenge program, aced the example and poof I had a partial scholarship into general engineering at UBC. While taking the exam, I noticed an “earn while you learn” poster for a security guard job. Took that 80 hour course in about 3 hours via skimming the textbook then taking the ethics and criminal law code test. Got a job pretty much the next day doing graveyard security. So there, I was – employed full time at night, at the largest and most prestigious uni in my province of BC. One of the top 5 in Canada and just working my union job as I’d taken leave over my Summer holidays (where I’d continue to work security).

My girlfriend was kind of like ‘wtf?’ when she found out that in the course of a week I basically shifted jobs, restarted my education, got a scholarship, became a licensed security worker and had a new full-time job and was now working 16 hour days – for the next four years and added ‘I didn’t mean you had to become an engineer’. The security graveyards job ended up having so much work for me it turned out to be beyond full time (usually 50 hours a week), while doing 35 hours of classes, while doing homework and projects. In my first year, I also got a job inbetween classes tutoring comp-sci and calc. In my final year, I got a job designing new coursework for a new comp-sci discipline starting at the undergrad level and to work on a few papers with profs.

All my weekends, I basically spend my time 24/7 with the gf to keep the relationship strong and worked M-F. The trick though was most of the security-graveyards, I was absolutely alone, in the middle of fucking nowhere, on a construction site. So I was getting paid to be entirely isolated, in a quiet place, usually with nothing but my textbooks in my car and a laptop. This was pre-cellphone internet. So I …well studied. Studied. Studied. Studied.

After 4 years, I graduated with an engineering degree and my girlfriend had moved to work in 3rd year of my education so I relocated to join her in my current city. I graduate top of my discipline for my engineering program and got the EGBC Certificate of Achievement Award for Most Promising [discipline-here] Engineer. I ironically used this award-money stipend to put towards part of my custom Q sub cost today. I kept the money unspent for ages. It felt like it was meant for something more than just spending it on a video game or pop or a movie or dinner. It was …meaningful? IS meaningful.

After graduating, I was in my mid 30s and my early 30s flew-by with the course-correction in my life. We lived together for about a year and a half post graduation and had a really decent life. Nice little home, lots of all the electronics she could want, all the high end cooking equipment she loved, nice tv, nice stereo system, got her a nice car and tried to play the male provider role to a T. I still felt lucky to have a woman period and looks wise she’s probably like a 7 or 7.5 so a point higher than me when we meet…4 years later, as she was a bit older she was approaching 40 and the wall was kind of hitting from a bit of a harder youth. Still that fat-anime-nerd insecurities from my youth, I didn’t care. Even if she had dropped from a 7-7.5 to a 6-6.5, I was only a 6.5 in looks myself. So it was all good; though I did notice, her mental health had gone down like 2 points and her finances remained about the same. While my finance score went way up, mental health was always high and went up, and looks well no real change. So I sort of felt maybe like she was the ugly duckling/low value person oddly? I did my best to always never reveal that feeling and always make her feel special though.

I figured, if I was good to her, she’d reciprocate and she’d be good to me. However, during that time, our relationship was pretty much sexless despite me trying to rekindle things. We still slept together, cuddled at night, cuddled while watching tv but felt almost more like…friends who hugged? than bf/gf. She didn’t really introduce me to her coworkers, family or friends like she was embarrassed of me — or did she think I was going to leave her and wanted to save herself the embarrassment? Even though, at this point, I made like double her salary and had a better education, I wasn’t planning on it. The intimacy we shared cuddling, enjoying our favorite shows, going to dance classes, cooking dinner together, was kind of all I ever wanted in a relationship so she satisfied every need but maybe me sexually. However, even then, men have hands for reasons – long marriages and nights spent on the couch or in the dog house :P.

I started taking my Master’s degree, almost had enough saved to buy us an apartment (with my income) or stand-alone house (with our combined income). I was about half done doing my Master’s in secret mostly a few hours a day after work, at work, about to surprise her with house (something she’s always wanted) + master’s degree + etc, when eventually, our spark was extinguished entirely in her end or in her eyes? I dunno. I was happy. I guess she wasn’t or wanted …more (less?).

She left me for a line-cook that works as a heavy-metal guitarist as a side gig; that lives in another city about a 2 hour ferry ride away – so a long distance relationship. I felt a bit like ‘Ouch, what a loser I must be’ almost when I saw him and he’s kind of … mediocre looking? like a 5.5/10? 6/10? Kind of lanky but skinny fat with a bit of an ugly face and greasy hair. Really sketchy looking?

I know she always had low self esteem but as a teacher, she makes double him and he makes like a quarter my income. I KNOW, money isn’t everything – but if you’re not wealthy, you should at least be handy or good looking or hung or something. One thing my ex always said was how much she wanted a house someday and to own her own place. I was working my ass off to make that a reality for her. However, this guy, would never be able to make that happen – as a line cook – living in Vancouver. He’s making $35k max after taxes and houses cost $1.5M in Vancouver. Does not compute. 100 years of 50% of his post-income tax salary would be needed. If he saved a phenomenal rate, it wouldn’t happen. Nothing about this guy really stood out as special. Crappy job, ugly face, so-so body to poor-body but I guess they are both into heavy metal. So that’s cool. He’s also a guitarist and women like that? Even if they are in their 40s working as a line cook and still not made it big?

My brain feels better having expressed that as I think it is something that I cannot grasp yet. I would like to think I’m a 6.5 in looks and now career wise, having graduated engineering and found work, I have a great income, great pension, amazing benefits, very stable and can live comfortably on my own, which allowed me to supported myself and assist her with a lifestyle above her income bracket, while still saving a significant amount and was close putting a down payment on my own condo or a house together and move from the renting-class to the owning-class. I’m no where near an 8 or 9 or 10 in finances, but I’ve probably moved from a 4-5 to a 7 in four years of 16-hour day grinding, and with the past 1 year of grinding 10 hours a day, was probably above to move to a 8? So …I felt happy about that. We were making progress together as a team and I felt like we had a future? Shared goals? I guess not. Heavy metal line cook guitarist, it is! …WTF.

What did my girlfriend see in this new guy that she left me? Is it my average but not impressive anymore penis? By comparison is he hung like a horse? Is it the extra fat I carry? By comparison, is it she’s oddly attracted to men without any muscle but skinny-fat/lanky? Is it I was too career focused? Except, all my time outside of work/study, any free time I had, I gave to her and actually treated her great with like dinners, trips, etc. Did I need to dedicate more time to her and give up on what she told me she wanted of being house-rich? So is it we were just different people and I’m not into heavy metal? Was I too nice? too accommodating? Does he play with her heart more and make her seek his validation and wonder whether he really likes her or not playing mind games while giving her nothing? Was that the trick/key? Hahaha.
Was it impossible to make her happy b/c there was a deep void of self esteem issues, anxiety and ruminating thoughts about the future? the pot she smoked? Did she leave because she was worried I would and wanted to preemptively avoid the hurt, of being dumped, by being the one to end the relationship first? No idea.

I do know, they met on this heavy-metal cruise called 70k tons of metal. Did the other guy have a vibe/aura/cool factor being a heavy-metal guitarist – even if it is a band you’ve never heard of b/c they never tour and are like a garage band?

I had no idea – however – I did know, I was single. I felt like I’d done everything “right” and improved dramatically my life from the day we met. I was continuing to progress and move upwards. So yeah, I dunno and then I was single. A guy who by all accounts on paper, seemed to be a loser, had stolen my girlfriend from me. Strangely, I was… okay because in some ways, I knew the relationship was largely sexless, more like friends and I’d sort of … grown maybe out of her league? I think she sort of fell from a 7.5 to a 6.5 while we were together – by kind of …just aging over the 5 years and kind of hitting the wall? I didn’t mind as she was still beautiful to me as love in blind. Since breaking up with her though and evaluating her more objectively…yeah she’s kind of low-key was a small train wreck and so was I went we met. Mentally she probably went down two points as her anxiety, ruminating thoughts and pot smoking all became more intense. She’s still a trainwreck and it is like she’s derailing so perhaps it is best we decoupled.

Her inability to save for our shared goals makes me wonder where she’ll be in ten years. Still wanting to own a house? Haha. Had she stuck with me for like six more months, she’d have had it. Now, I think she may never have it. I hope the guy is at least a good cook, is all I can say…

===Part 3 - My Subliminal===

This lead me to decide to start my custom. I figure that guy must have had an IT factor or my ex-gf is legitimately poor at making decisions. If it is an IT factor, I’d love to get that. My custom is all basically about trying to fulfill perhaps what I consider to be the ‘3rd leg’ of happiness. Leg 1 = Health physically. Leg 2 = Career/Money/Security of basic needs. Leg 3 = Establishing a family/having romance/experiencing a healthy, happy, loving relationship (or at least relationships that meet your goal at the time like fwb or whatever). Leg 1 = maintains as good minus the whole penis thing, leg 2 = gone from decent to great. Leg 3 = gone from decent-mediocre to non-existent. So my custom Q Sub is all around leg 3 - romance, sex, relationship, family planning, yadda yadda.

  • BDLM (Big Dick Like Mine – surprised? Hoping to regain my previous size)
  • Male Enhancement Module (surprised? Ditto as above. Figured 2 different scripts doubles my chances)
  • Aphrodite (Healing sexual issues module – surprised? Figured if that hot tub issue is still in there somewhere and preventing previous attempts at ‘enlargement subs’ from working – let’s get rid of it)
  • Physical Shift - Sexiness (Let’s see if we can physically shift that 6.5 in looks to a 7.5 with gym/regular working out/diet?)
  • Omnidimensional (results booster, seemed to make sense)
  • DEUS (Designed to take any subliminal and push it further – soooo faster attraction gains/penis growth?! Okayyyyyyy, sign me up?!)
  • Earthshaker sexuality (Seems good. Makes you turn heads/generate attraction strongly.)
  • Instant Spark (They always say… women decide if they’ll sleep with you in the first [blank] seconds/minutes upon meeting you or if to friend zone you – I figure, maybe this will put me more in the sleeping-with-worthy category and less friend-zone category)
  • Focused arousal (Lets you generate attraction in specific people you are into – I hope this might carry/take over when Instant Spark ends or enhance it)
  • Temptation (becoming energetically, mentally and physically so attractive, you tempt people? Encouraging flirting and a mysterious aura – seems to go well with the arousal/Instant Spark/others)
  • Ethereal Presence (to make people in a dream-like state when they meet you and over-value your beauty/attractiveness or overrate it. If it works, maybe when I am a 7 or 7.5 women will value me as a 8? 8.5 and will help with starting relationships? Who knows… who knows… Seems like it might stack well with temptation. A ethereal tempting presence inducing Instant Spark and focused arousal through earth breaking sexuality?!? )
  • Libertine Core (Add to this a powerful, profound and exceptionally effective sexually charged aura attracting the most beautiful people who catch my eye? Great. However, where will I manifest such… oh right.)
  • Gorgeous Women Manifestation (makes sense. Manifest gorgeous women who would be into me – might help with finding my next relationship – and have someone to test my voice/focused arousal/instant spark site/earth breaker sexuality/tempted/impacted by a sexual aura, and so on)
  • Sexual Manifestation (Makes sense. What’s the point of creating intense sexual attraction, arousal, having an aura, etc if you don’t manifest sex? Also supposed to work well with gorgeous manifestation – part of my reasoning here was the last few years of my past relationship were like “big-occasional-sexual” so like Happy birthday sex, Christmas sex, post-trip sex, quarterly-duty-sex, etc. So I hope this will be a change/benefit my next relationship going forward)
  • Nectar from Within Extraction (The blowjob aura as my last relationship didn’t include them and I’m really fond of them. Seems like it might stack well with sexual and gorgeous manifestation? Blowjobs from gorgeous women sounds fun and would be a first. Other blowjobs were from average-women and generally not that long/short lived. Having a woman find enjoyment from the act would be awesome. I imagine the experience will be far different when you don’t get the vibe they feel it is a “chore”.)
  • Emperor’s Voice (I figure having a deep, masculine voice will assist with following up on instant spark + earthshaker and help with the Ethereal presence, maybe?!?! Seems speaking + looking the part is better than looking and sounding alright)
  • Entranced (The women sometimes go into trance and hang on your word effect. – I have some prior experience in formal hypnosis training b/c it is a hobby/passion of mine, conversational hypnosis and recreational hypnosis…so who knows. Might work out well. Emperor’s voice will work well here as a stack, no? Seems useable after manifesting sex/blowjobs/attraction with a gorgeous women and they are affected by your aura)


  • Carpe Diem (the motivation/drive subliminal to help with the physical-shifting sexier subliminal – get my butt regularly to the gym – eat healthy – etc. so maybe I can rise from a 6.5 to 7.5 faster or have the motivation to try to meet women easier) None of the subliminals will work if you don’t work, right?

On a side note. My subliminal is still being produced. I picked options Solace + ZP Terminus + FLAC. Not that I think its really an important factor.

Pre-Day 1.
I successfully consumed about 3L of water today. I took some 20g of Ashawangda (a herb that is supposed to increase your testosterone levels – and rumor has it blood flow to the penis), I took about 20g of garlic (supposed to cause fat loss), zinc (testosterone), quercetin (zinc more product, testosterone), copper (helps balance zinc levels…for sperm health), green superfood powder (1 serving), collodial minerals (supposed to help t if taken for 60 days), 100,000UI of Vitamin D, 800mcg of vitamin k2 (d3 megadoses + k3 were shown in this really-sketchy study to over 3-6 months increase the penis by like 0.5 to 1 inch in length and half that in girth…which sounds…insane for just taking a supplement – however, I stumbled across this study after listening to ascension chamber and thinking about penis growth. Did I manifest randomly finding it?! A lot naysayers about this study say this level of Vitamin D could be unhealthy or dangerous. Others says “I took 5k UI for 6 months and my dick never got bigger.” but …how well your body absorbs vitamin d/ your enzyme levels/liver health/etc all play a role on your max absorption and there’s a HUGE difference between 5k and 100k. That’s like the difference between like a low activity level during a day and a marathon (stepwise) 5k steps versus 100ks steps. So sure 5k ui versus 100k ui could have a significant difference in the effect on the system)

It will cost me about $300 dollars to keep this vitamin stack going for 6 months.

I also consumed about 200g of protein, 0 g of sugars, 100g of fat so a modest 1,600 calories with a high protein content. Trying to prep my body for physical shifting by giving high testosterone levels, high protein and will start working out on day 1 of subliminal. I might gradually up the protein content to 220g per day. I’m right now at about 0.8g/lb or ~2.2g/kg. I think honestly, that is more than enough for bodybuilding so it has to be enough to physically shift my penis bigger or my face to be more sexy or whatever physical shifter does.

What is this?

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What is this?

Sorry, good catch! I got the module name wrong. The correct name of the module is Instant Spark not Lust at First Site. I edited the original post. The product page says…

Instant Spark is about creating that first-sight shock with a person you find attractive. It works best in a place where you don’t know a lot of people, such as a club or even simply a new street where lots of people go. However, Instant Spark also has extensive programming for emotional upheaval – meaning, Instant Spark can create a powerful whirlwind of emotions in people you wish to be with romantically, creating a longing and desire in them to be with you.

So a “Instant Spark” that can “create a powerful whirlwind of emotions creating a longing and desire in them to be with you” - I guess in my brain somehow thought of this or renamed this in my head to Lust at First Sight haha but its actual name is “Instant Spark”. I think my brain though an instant powerful longing and desire to be with someone is close to lust. I guess it could be a platonic desire to be with someone, desire to be with someone has ‘just friends’ or desire to be bf/gf or in a relationship. My brain went with a sexual interpretation of “longing and desire to be with”. IE “be with” as in “be intimate with”. Rereading it, they probably meant the person will desire to be with you romantically and have intense longing and desire to be with you …romantically. That’s probably beneficial for seduction though – as long as – they don’t think “relationship material. Better make him wait 2 weeks before intimacy. If it weren’t such good relationship material, I’d sleep with him tonight!”

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Hey sir, consider Khan black to not only reframe your past sexual “failures” into weapons on your side, but to unleash within you a man that will make 10/10s fight over him.

Apart from that; awesome custom…. I use some of the modules myself,
You’ll love it long term

Keep in mind if you decide to run Khan black on the side you will add a huge challenge aspect to your life that will reward you handsomely.


I’ll definitely keep that in mind! Thank you for the encouragement! I’m patiently waiting for that 1-3 business days for the custom subliminal to arrive haha. People keep mentioning the term QTKS a lot reading some other journals. Do you happen to know what QTKS stands for?

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It’s the quintessence version of customs where they clone your voice and you’re basically saying the script: I use it, it costs more; it stands for quintessence, the king speaks.

It hits deeper.

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Hmm, I did not see that option on the Q checkout page ‘build’ options, though, I would have liked that to be honest. I wonder if its too late to add…buy… or wait are all subliminals at now using QTKS? I went to the QTKS instruction page and attempted to upload a .m4a and the website is giving me errors trying to upload it. :confused: Sigh. Saying .m4a is an invalid file type after asking me to use .m4a both on the upload page and instruction. Took a screenshot and created a support ticket. I’m sure subliminal club will get this sorted out (I hope).

Pre-Day 2
I had a moderate amount of carbs today, hit my protein goal of 200g and some fat. Aiming tomorrow for low-carb, high protein, high-fat day. Once again, supplement wise, 20g of Ashawangda, 20g of garlic, zinc, copper, quercetin, 100,000UI of Vitamin D, 800mcg of K2, 1 serving of collodial minerals and 1 serving of green superfood. Hit my 3L of filtered-water target. Oh the plus side, I got a confirmation my ‘module’ purchases went through. The sub is still in “processing” – and can’t seem to upload the m4a file due to errors on website. Put in a ticket. Waiting on response.

While eating some of my carbs in a Costco today, I noticed direct eye contact from several women, several women turning their heads as they walked past and staring at me. Most broke eye contact when I returned eye contact. Still, kind of interesting.

Hehe don’t worry about it my friend because… it’s adviced that you first try your custom normally then get the QTKS if you like it


That is a high number. Are you sure about this? I think most advice I’ve seen around D is 2000 IU and in rare cases up to 10000 IU.

I am taking 2000UI. 100 000 is definitely very high number also for other things. 20g of ashwagandha is also very high number

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Fairly certain. There’s been over time, a lot of dicussion regarding the “proper” amount of UI for Vitamin D. The official dietary recommended allowance by the FDA is

“20 mcg (800 IU) for adults and children aged 4 years and older”

So you’re technically over the FDA dosing guidelines at ~2.5x the rate at 2000 a day and at 10,000UI overdosing at ~22x the rate. Yet yes, people do fine on these levels. In theory, you can get a blood test that will tell you your ng/L. Ranges go from 20ng/L up to 80ng/L are considered generally “safe” and toxicity starts depending on the research you read between 140-200ng/L which is interestingly way above the deficient level of 20ng/L where doctors prescribe vitamin D. An average persons is around 40ng/L.

A typical dosage when you are at 20ng/L to have someone reach that 40ng/L level is 50,000 UI for six to twelve weeks. The real danger of Vitamin D is it will release calcium into your system which can end up causing some arterial damage if your Vitamin K2 levels are insufficient to cause that calcium to be properly directed into bones rather than soft-tissue. Hence, the large amount of Vitamin K2 to go with it. Many doctors though prescribe 50,000UI for six to 12 weeks to increase ng/L by a mere 20 without any Vitamin K2 also prescribed. That being said, if ~3 months at 50,000UI only results in a 20ng/L increase and toxicity starts at 140-200ng/L, if I am at the normal/average 40-60ng/L, one should be able to safely maintain 50,000UI for a period of ~4-6x longer than 3 months or ~1.5-2 years for the minimum toxicity-threshold. If 100,000, ~9 months to 1 year.

I am planning to only take it for six months duration. Sooo, in theory, I should be safe. I just find it coincidental, I’m listening to a male-enhanacement subliminalclub product and poof this study about vitamin d mega-dosing with k2 causes your dick to grow happens to appear before me about 2 weeks into listening or the end of my first cycle. Is that manifestation or pure coincidence? I don’t know… However, I DID work graveyard shifts for 4 years straight while going to university to become an engineer and so got very little son. So the idea I am vitamin D deficient seems highly probable. So maybe, my unconscious mind manifesting a study telling me to ‘Take Vitamin D.’ is its way of saying ‘You’re deficient.’ and that’s why the study appeared? I dunno.

Keep in mind, Sanitariums used to treat Polio back in the day, had patients sit in the sun for 8 hours straight – which ironically – 20 minutes of direct sun exposure produces about 2,000-4,000UI. If 800UI is the FDA Recommended allowance, you’d overdose after 20 minutes in the sun by 2.5x. The Polio patients were generating about 50,000UI-75,000UI over an 8 hour day.

That being said, it might have NO effect. Yong et all did a study where they gave giant concentrations and found once you reach about 50,000UI to 100,000UI, your serum level simply doesn’t increase. Your body will only process/absorb as much as you need making overdosing possible…impossible as your body will reject extra. Weird, eh? Source below.

Yong et al evaluated in a metanalysis serum vitamin D concentrations before and after supplementation at different doses, indicating that supplementation of doses higher than 100,000 IU were not effective in improving vitamin D levels.28

Furthermore, higher doses have been studied on numerous occasions without any deaths. Specifically, these studies used 200,000 UI and 300,000UI respectively without deaths or toxicity. Weird, right? Way over the FDA’s 800UI by literately 250-350x.

There is currently no consensus regarding the definition of a megadose, however, several studies use the term “megadoses” to refer to doses higher than 100,000 IU of vitamin D. Cavalcante et al rated megadoses as the use of 200,000 IU of cholecalciferol in a single administration.30 Tarcin et al used “megadoses” when administering 300,000 IU of cholecalciferol monthly for 3 months, to patients with vitamin D deficiency and evaluated their endothelial function.14 Table 2 describes the studies that used megadoses for the evaluation of different entities.

Trivedi, 2003 as an example gave a mega-dose of 200,000UI every week to people for a period of FIVE YEARS long. So effectively, 800,000UI a month for 5 years with zero toxicity. Meanwhile, they found fracture rates decreased to 0.78 compared to a double-blinded placebo group. While other studies show no effect on bone density. K2 is necessary to drive calcium into bones, so I always wonder if its because only 1 part of a ‘2’ part mechanism is present?

Tarcin, 2009 looked at endothelin function (basically blood vessel expansion or a necessary part of erections) using 300k UI/month. Found a positive correlation between vitamin d supplementation and blood vessel function. These effects are usually consistent in each study searching for them while bone density is hit or miss. If K2+VitaD results in decalcification of arteries to a near puberty like state, is that why it grows? or is it just great functioning of your blood vessel’s ability to expand and take up blood? It is a potential mechanism – albiet – impossible to study. Potential evidence for Vitamin D makes erections easier/harder/better. That does not necessarily mean 3M UI/month would be better than 0.3M UI/month and give the reported benefits the sketchy-vitamind+k2 increases your penis size study said.

However, if 0.3M UI/month results in moderately better function, it gives a very-very-slight possible mechanism why higher doses might have resulted in growth. More/better blood flow and more/better erections might mean more nutrients or more pressure internally on the walls encouraging expansion.

If the endothelium function of my penis goes up significantly and with it erection quality, I’ll consider it a win or money well spent. If nothing happens, ah well, I’ve wasted money on worse things.

From a purely psuedo-science historical perspective, vitamin d levels would be highest in Summer when food was easily-found. If food was readily available, that would be the time to mate/breed/create more children; probably not during the Winter when food is scarce? Just my thoughts. Especially, if readily available year-round like you lived near the equator and Winter was almost non-existent in your area, so high vitamin d lvls year round. K2 is often found in vegetables that are harvested in Summer too. So vitamin d + k2 naturally would only occur in the Summer times, not in Winter. If someone asked me, do you expect your PP to hang larger/be fuller/get more spontaneous erections, in the Summer or Winter, my default answer would be Summer. Obviously, that is exactly zero-percent science and purely speculation. Purely.

Singh et al studied two intervention groups in patients with vitamin D deficiency and musculoskeletal symptoms such as myalgia, fatigue, malaise and paresthesia; The first group was administered 60,000 IU weekly of cholecalciferol and the second, 1000 IU daily. The effect of the interventions in reducing symptoms and the increase in serum levels of vitamin D was compared. After 10 weeks of follow-up, the two groups reported symptomatic improvement. However, a greater increase in serum concentrations of 25 (OH) D was observed in the high-dose group with an average difference of 28.33 ng/mL between the groups.53

Another odd study. 60,000UI a week or 240k UI a month resulted in reduction of symptoms of fatigue/malaise? So maybe my energy levels will go up? I would also consider that a win, personally.

Oddly, a lot of studies show no change in serum levels and no effect, from megadoses. So there’s a chance, absolutely nothing will happen and I’ll have no benefit at all. Really, I won’t know until I actually give it an attempt, right? I am also not encouraging others to do it. Its different to experiment with one’s own body versus others. I just think it seems so weird/coincidental, this study comes to my attention right at the same time, I’m listening to a subliminal club pp sub. The timing seems… divine? manifested? a message? lol.

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Alright, you know what you’re doing :slight_smile:

Had a friend who took 15k UI and he did not feel well.

I’m sorry to hear about your friend KingEsh. I’ve been taking 100,000UI for about a week, with no symptoms so far. Ooc, what did your friend experience so I know what to look out for as warning signs?

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I don’t know exactly, he told me over dinner that he had to be taken to the doctor. Sorry.

That’s interesting. I wonder how multiple people in these studies are given 200k or 300k in a single dose, week after week, without issue but your friend had an issue with only 15k. The study I linked above says there have been 2 fatal deaths in the history of the US related to manufacturing fortification of vitamin d problems though. Basically, manufacturing processes adding FAR more vitamin d as in like 1 million times dosage given to small children, for days on end. So I wonder, could it be…where your friend sourced his Vitamin D from? Does he eat a lot of fermented foods like natto and green leafy vegetables like salads, lettuce, etc? Where his k2 levels low?

I’m taking 10k/day for a long time without any problems.
My mom on the other hand took only 6k/day and got problems. She’s on dialysis and had some symptoms, and when her blood results came back, she was told to reduce the Vit D intake, and poof, symptoms vanished.
We’re also supplementing with the same amount of vit k2.

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Ah, great point. I’ve heard that high doses of vitamin d are not advised for people with diabetes or kidney issues. Being on dialysis, I wonder if she has some preexisting kidney issues? I would think so. I hope KingEsh’s friend isn’t prediabetic or has kidney disease without being aware. Its good to hear you are managing 10kui/day with no issues for a long while. I hear of many people doing 20-50k without issue. Everyone’s body is unique/different though.

Ooc, what were the symptoms your mother had?

So pre-custom subliminal day 3, went out for food tonight. Ran into a rather attractive woman at the restaurant leaving who gave me a bit of a stare down (in a positive way) and smiled. This was with the night before having run a few major attraction stuff/bdlm. Admittedly, I was fairly well dressed in my engineering work clothes (business casual/semi-fancy) and she climbed into an older jeep. So maybe she was eyeing me like a meal ticket haha. Still, the attraction/spark was there and felt nice.

Other than that, reached my water goals, did my usual supplement regime. I, to be honest, did not make my protein goal. I was probably about 150g tonight and not the full 200g. More carbs than I had set as a goal. Tomorrow, I am going to aim for near-zero carbs, mostly-fat. I find I tend to lean out pretty well when I keep my calories at reasonable-levels and bounce between high and low carb days with 1-2 meals a day closely located near each other.

Still no luck uploading the voice-print file as the website is still rejecting my “voice.m4a” file saying “m4a” file type is not allowed. Sigh. I hope this isn’t delaying when/if my subliminal gets paid. Order was placed 3 business days ago. Estimated time is 3-5. So in theory, if they’ll be working on my order soon-ish or in the near future, they will probably need that voiceprint. No answer to my 2-day old support ticket quite yet. I think it’ll all get resolved and hopefully subliminal will arrive roughly on time. I’m excited to get started. Today was an off day. If I don’t have the subliminal by tomorrow, tomorrow will be another generic-non-custom major sub day of bdlm and attraction-stuff.

Did you enter a ticket about this? (I’m guessing, yes.)

What are the ticket number(s)?