My Journey to the Unknown 🙇

Journals - Major Programs
#44

12th day…
1 loop of Ascending Mogul
1 loop of executive
I ran both on intense deep study.
One of them as I was reading The Superior Man…I noticed I came to understand the book more than I did the first time.
•No headache when am running feeling high and calm…

•After hrs listening I experience intense headache maybe the programming is setting in .
•At a point I started feeling Bliss in my head… rapid DOPAMINE rush … something of sort I can’t really explain it.

•Caught myself thinking about how to make my pubic regions neat with some oil or waxing…dived into web to search…at a point I started searching for waxed dick​:grin:…I looked for some pictures at a point my urge to porn arouse … shouting watch it watch it…it’s been long​:running_man:…Boom!! immediately I said NO to myself that I had to dress up to leave my fucking house :grin:

•The girl I approached yesterday seems to be interested…came over the place I left for outside… walking around waiting to grab my attention …at a point she smiled…I caught myself smiling back

•I noticed I understand things faster unlike before…I don’t know if this might be because of subliminals :thinking:

•Started asking myself questions about my existence…who am I ?..No answer yet🙄 actually I went back to one course about finding my purpose (The Impetus course).

•i noticed I prefer staying alone to read about something than spending time gossiping football or news.
•Played PES 2020 with my laptop this night for like 3hrs but deep down a voice was fighting with me to leave it to go read a book about sales .

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#45

I understand what you mean. I have experienced this also. Seems like you’re doing great :slight_smile:

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#46

Man…it’s not easy…I noticed the subliminal drains energy too and also kinda builds energy it’s confusing :pleading_face:

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#47

Hhaha yes, but it’s a good indicator that it is doing its magic :wink:

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#48

13th day…Rest day…
Dreams about porn relapse and woke up in fear not to do it !!
•Hard Rock Erection and pool of force or energy in my dantain or perineum

•Went to any argument with my dad on how money is not by luck/chance but by what you put out… started telling him I would not listen to him about money matters because he isn’t Rich himself … actually regreted doing that.
•Tried guided meditation for like 15mins with Brain FM though I wasn’t feeling a thing.

•I had practice 100pushups because the energy within me is hard to bear even though today was my rest day for exercises too…I needed to expel some energy.

•Left my medical books and preferred to read one book about Sales and I really enjoyed it , at a point of looking at other people’s copy… mistakingly came across some where related to nudity or probably porn… INSTANTLY I experienced a Strong dopamine rush in my head It had never gotten to this level before… Luckily I don’t even know how I managed to escape watching porn…it just happened!!

•l had to sleep because my head is too heavy filled up with DOPAMINE or something of some sort…slept for 2hrs with dreams which I can’t recall.

•Emptyness sets in and I tried to fill it up with water
•I noticed am kind of energetic and drained at the same time…I can’t really explain that feeling.

3 Likes
#49

The feeling am always into now is something like a missing something in my life…the kind of emptiness I feel when I watch porn and masturbate.

#50

@LEON are you currently running Ascending Mogul?

#51

No, I’m running Ascension + Stark. My plan was running Khan + Stark but decided to build a solid foundation first.

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#52

Alright !!
do you have a journal here?

1 Like
#53

I started one when I ran Khan + Stark but only did it for a few days. I stopped journaling when I changed to Ascension + Stark. I keep journaling offline now and then, but it feels to much like work hhaha :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

1 Like
#54

Swears I see it tasking to write offline I mean on paper but online I think am trying

#55

14th day…
1 loop of Ascending Mogul
•Felt mostly calm today and mostly dont reply to criticism,also noticed I don’t get angry when been criticized.
•Women looking at mean weirdly even a dog felt threatened as I was passing by ,the dog barked and barked I continued to do what I wanted to do and later left the scene😂.
•More focused
•Always thinking what I will do to escape Inflation and Working under a boss

2 Likes
#56

15day …Rest day
Watched porn and mastu… :running_man: I stayed up late at night started with YouTube softcore then later went to finish it up with hardcore :joy:is not funny though ,we move it’s not the first day I relpased after a long time of abstainence, I noticed that feeling of guilt and disgust wasn’t that much though I knew I did what I didn’t wanted to do.

•Slept throughout today with dreams all along
•Seem to find more about myself using some astrological means.

•Though I did lost my energy during Pmo I noticed my energy levels are still high like I didn’t do shit .

1 Like
#57

16th day…
1 loop of Ascending Mogul
1 loop of Executive
Today woke up early… around 5am I did morning pushups :grin:
•I left for a long journey which took up to 9hrs supposed to be 6hrs but due to delays when traveling, the country is on chaos and lacks order but I thank God I made it to my destination I made it finally.
•Noticed am more non reactive and emotional on occurrences nowadays.
•Am much more present at the moment

#58

17th day Rest day
Woke up @5am with full bladder, feeling like my bladder is about to Burst I had to visit the rest room with my hands on my back as if am a pregnant woman.

•A scary dream as I slept off the second time I dreamt - one man kept my sister on hypnotic rhythm, looking like she 's unconscious I came along with her as I was about to go I took her hands to take her home, but as I took her hands she isn’t responding I told the guy how far what happened to my sister he said he isn’t aware, I shaked her, shaked her to the point of attracting attention and people came over praying…at a point I started slapping her cheeks and she later became consicious. Weird dream.
•Ran 24hrs Autophagy.

•Felt somehow empty tried drinking lots of water but it didn’t help the issue.
•Meet my lover in school,went to dark corners and romanced her :yum: @different erogenous zones .
•I felt like am not really interested ,but i noticed I was much focused on making her feel loved but didn’t actually wanted to get my dick wet🤷
•My erection wasn’t that hard compared to morning erections… maybe because I wasn’t in a comfortable place.
•Consistent headaches.

1 Like
#59

18th day Yesterday…
1 loop of Ascending Mogul
1 loop of Executive
Before running the subliminals I left for gym I reached there to notice that 70kg bench I used to carry is very heavy for me , regardless I had to push through and carry it. Also did some squats and others included .
•feeling the need to drink lots of water , maybe due to empty feeling
•My internal thoughts about -The Sheep (non achievers) lifestyle and my well-being kept increasing.
•A friend shared a series movie I tried watching it , I managed to 11mins I had to stop, I couldn’t!! a voice in my head shouting at me -this movie makes your subconscious shit!! , Escape the sheep to read books about sales and psychology!!
•Respect from friends and Women

2 Likes
#60

20th day. Rest day…
Wake up with pains all over my body due to yesterday gym session.
Strong hard morning wood.
I had to push through to run my normal 200 pushups.
•Started reading Boron letters…a book about sales and Copywriting :smirk:
•Consistent headaches, I think This might be a reconciliation.
•I noticed am more calm and peaceful, prefer staying alone reading one thing or the other.
•Constantly thinking on how to learn Sales and psychology of the human mind.
•Feeling happy,empty, like I want to cry at this same time… UNEXPLAINABLE!!

2 Likes
#61

I was also having some reconciliation, did 2 rest days and now I’m feeling great. Sometimes a little extra rest is needed.

1 Like
#62

Thanks man …
How do know it’s reconciliation, headaches or emptyness ?

#63

21st day
Left for Gym this morning with all my body pains, I had to reduce my normal weight I usually carry to cope up with body pains.
Noticed I didn’t even have much energy.

1 loop of Ascending Mogul
•Read a book on sales and slept off when running the subliminal, I woke up before the loop is about to finish.
•30mins after running the subliminal headaches started which lasted for about an hour.
•Noticed I don’t care about situations beyond my control.