Things are really complicated in my long term relationship. I’ve had enough of all the crap I get, and I am mentally and emotionally done with him. I deserve so much better than the left over crumbs I get. I’m tired of him falling in love with others. I discovered just a few days ago that he has a big crush on some woman who is probably around 300 pounds and appears to be homeless, but isn’t. He actually smiled like a kid who had just gotten caught and didn’t bother to deny it when I told him that he can do better. I think all women are beautiful, but I’m fed up with him not being attracted to me unless I’m a size 4 or below just to see him chasing after bigger women.
I am really hoping that this Heartsong will not get me crawling back to this man again. I can’t do this to myself anymore.
I played two loops this morning and I felt pain in my heart again. This time the pain lasted a lot longer than the other times. I felt alive again after the pain left. I felt the feeling one gets when meeting someone new romantically. That alive feeling that I haven’t felt in years.