going to the dungeon
Not gonna lie. Iām getting my ass kicked right now.
I donāt think Iāve gotten my ass kicked this hard in my life. Iām stubborn as hell lol.
Many years ago (when I was like 20), long before I even ran subs, I got into a street fight. Itās the only fight Iāve ever been in. There was a grad reunion type of thing happening at the local bar. Facebook event. This guy who I never got along with in high school was there with 5 of his friends. His friends were pretty chill and I had hung out with them on numerous occasions but this guy hated me. He hated me because 2 years prior, he had oneitis for some chick and she ended up going with me to prom. I ruined everything for him, lol. The guy had no balls and then blamed me, like what the hell. Anyways, me and him basically had beef. Which made no sense because he was cool with my friends and I was cool with his. He was kind of low IQ, weird and testy for no reason and everyone kind of knew that but it was like a āthatās just how he isā type of thing. He also had a reputation for getting into a lot of scraps. He had a short fuse.
So anyways, we were drinking (I drank at the time) in the bar and one thing led to another. Next thing you know weāre going back and forth. It gets really heated and then he wants to fight me. Mind you, Iām only 20 and I was drinking, I was like āIāll kick your assā. This whole thing was ridiculous. So he tells me to meet him at this place, that amongst our groups is known to locally be a place where fights happen.
This guy was irate and everyone told me not to go. People literally sat me down trying to persuade me like an intervention, just telling me to go home.
Did I listen to any of them? Hell no. LOL.
Did I listen to myself? Hell no.
I was super insecure and wanted to be all tough guy. I went to the place and itās like 20 people there. It was some worldstar type of shit. So at this time I had never been in a fight, never did any type of training or anything. This guy was bigger than me too. It all happened so fast. Basically, he threw the first punch, landed super clean. I threw mine, landed super clean. Rattled with that painful numbing type of shock but not really hurt. Next thing you know adrenaline kicked in and, we were justā¦ flailing. It was the most amateur, dumbest, inexperienced type of fight ever, just pure mindless, drunken fury. LMAO.
We just let it out all out. All the anger and frustration out on each other. It was like a catharsis. It ended up on the ground, in a weird position where we were entangled and I had him in a really weak headlock. After that, people started intervening and breaking it up. Luckily, neither of us was hurt bad, just exhausted. Everyone calmed down and then I went back to him, reached out to shake his hand. I donāt know why I did that.
I donāt think there were any dark intentions, it was all an ego thing and young men were drunk. Shit happens.
Anyways, that was a good memory. Something I regretted doing because it was so dumb. I mean, I have the story but I donāt like telling it because my actions were so dumb.
I get strong intuitions but Iām always like ānahh.ā
āLuther, you should probably not do this.ā
Me: āLetās freakin do this!ā.
I donāt listen to myself, lol. Then I pay the price.
Shouldāve listened. Yeah, I shouldāve.
Shit. Alright.
I need to chill out. Stop taking risks. Think things through a little. Use the noggin. Reminds me when I wasted thousands of dollars on gaming equipment like gee Luther, you didnāt think that one through, did ya mate. I thought I did, but I didnāt. Self-love is so important. You can make mistakes and not beat yourself up over it. Itās okay. Forgive yourself and move on.
I need to sit in the dungeon for a few weeks and shift my thinking.