I regained my trust in the universe. The future is unwritten.
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Found out I can let the heart open by feeling my love for that woman without wanting to be loved back.
Feels better than feeling diminished and unloved.
I am the lover not the beloved.
At one point my love will become not focused on a person again but towards life itself.
Living with a closed heart feels like depression.
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Oh yea that reminds me. I stumbled on a way to release attachment. I checked by asking this question, could I allow myself to love ____ as much as I do now? and I’d just practice awareness on whatever comes up allowing it to be as it is. That really dropped my attachment to wanting to be loved by the person. Looks like you kind of found it too just without the words. 
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This sounds awesome, ABC333.
Focus on one skill: Less talking.
Considering stopping the heartsong custom.
The idea of a soul mate fucks me up. It’s programmed onitis for me.
I overlook the things that don’t fit and only see the things that fit.
Crazy stupid love is not for me.
Now I am thinking of using the Chosen Experimental or Wanted ZP.
As I don’t really want to focus on sexual relationships at the moment I am tending towards Chosen Experimental.
I want to run one title solo two times every other day beginning from January 18.
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Real or felt rejection is something I want to learn to handle.
Sometimes I forget that emotions are just there to be felt.
I don’t have to make a story out of a feeling. Just feel it rather shortly and let it go.
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I’ve been listening to this talk a lot. You might hear something too.
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I can strongly recommend CFW ZP, it’s truly amazing…
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Vision of Stark ZP + QV2 custom
There is this QV2 custom I ordered in October 2021. It seems to be very overloaded with DD/PCC/IC.
But it has some modules for voice (Emperor’s voice, Voice master) and fame (Glory Seeker, The Spotlight) I would like to test out. As far as I remember, I have never used this custom over a longer period of time. Now I want to try it after my washout together with Stark ZP.
Other QV2 customs is the Heart Song / Love custom. And there has to be a PS/SMX Custom somewhere.
Decision Decision Decision
I could also mix Stark ZP with Chosen. Because Chosen has some voice effects.
Why do I want to have a better voice? Because I like using my voice for my radio projects, and I am planning to work on guided meditations again.
Another idea is to trash the QV2 custom and just listen to Stark ZP and see where it gets me. That could also be an option.
PRO QV2+STARKZP
Lots of interesting modules
CONTRA QV2+STARKZP
Too many interesting modules, could be overload
PRO STARKZP SOLO
I guess it could work as intended and its simpler than mixing with a QV2 custom
CONTRA STARKZP SOLO
I want more and more and more
My guess is I will run STARK ZP solo for the next period after this written down inner thinking process.
Just remembered GLM ZP and I want to run it because I feel like a 30yearoldboy (Fight Club quote) sometimes.
That I look like a boy in his twenties doesn’t help.
Perhaps Ascension and GLM ZP? Sounds good to me.
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