MALKUTH The Phenomenaut

[Malkuth]

The day began with meditation. 8:20 to 9:20. Last night was my late working night. It ends at about 10 pm and then I walk home. Usually I add a little extra walking in so that I arrive home by 11 pm.

Today, my first meeting was online at 10 am. Gave me a little extra room for meditating.

There’s a definite physical and somatic deepening going on in meditation. I’m appreciating it. Stonelike, maybe.

Soon, it will be time to begin Khan Black stage 3. I’m listening to each stage of KB as a module in a healing custom, POOLS Black. This means that I’ll be ordering a new version of POOLS Black. And that’s an opportunity for tweaking it.

One possibility I’ve been considering is to wait until Revelation of Body is released and to include that as a program core. (I’d probably remove Revelation of Dreams.)

Also, considering including Deep State to add yet more momentum to this deepening, settling process that’s happening in meditation.

Radiating Health seems like a good ingredient as well.

There are one or two others. I’ll sit down later and look through it all systematically.

I have noticed some healing processes happening. They mostly feel subtle. And I’m noticing them more in KB stage 2 than I did in KB stage 1.

Alright, time to make food.

[Malkuth]

Been making monster stews lately.

Delicious.

The base is black beans. Then I add various ingredients. My grandmother used to love okra and I couldn’t stand the stuff. And now here I am adding it in, and liking it a lot. The secret for me is to chop it finely. And I sauteed it first in the bottom of the pot before adding everything else.

I’m also putting sardines in there. They’re a very high-quality protein source. Sorry, sardines. That seems a bit rude to say. (“Our eyes are up here, Malkuth!”)

I always eat it with brown rice fresh from the rice cooker. Like my rice a bit firmer than average. Not crunchy or anything! But not soft and steaming either.

What else is in there, potatos, green beans, broccoli, spinach, kale, rocket, chard. yum!!!

Guilin Chili Sauce.

(that dude.)

just a little spoon.

Usually like to dice a little bit of tomato to get that naturally glutamate flavor-enhancing effect. But we’re out of tomatos, so I’ll soldier on.

And that’s that. I’ll have two in-office meetings, and by the time I get back here tonight. That’ll be dinner.

[Malkuth]

I also diced up a portobello mushroom and dropped it in there.

Very glad that I did!

[Malkuth]

10 am 3 hour meeting this morning.

woke up at 7 something. Showered.

Meditated after son left for school. 8:10 am to 9:10 am.

Got dressed and left.

---

Today’s meditation was interesting because my physical and emotional state was in unrest when I started. Sensations of worry, stress, and overwhelm were busy. So this was one of those more stereotypical meditation sessions when you’re being with some unsettled or uncomfortable state.

And, yes, it was helpful.

By the end of the session, I felt much better situated and ready to deal with those things that had been bothering me.

Apart from that though, the session itself was quite stable and consistent. Being there.

At 1 pm just now, after leaving the meeting, I had an experience right out of the Revelation of Spirit program description. Walked out of a building. Felt the rays of sunlight on my face. And felt a deep renewal and influx of energy.

Just want to leave this here as a reminder because it was such a transient experience that I’m likely to forget about it.

[Malkuth]

Now, I’m in my office doing my subs on Ultrasonic by headphone.

Just listened to PHENOMENAUT Genesis QTKS for 9 m 40s.

Played POOLS for 12 minutes and change. (Lost track of the time.)

So, now we’ll see how my mind responds to somewhat longer times.

[Malkuth]

Today I decided to run two minutes of my old PATHS Terminus² custom subliminal.

It’s interesting because about 30 minutes after I ran it I got a manifestation.

A colleague, who I’m friends with, but to whom I have not spoken in months, came by my door, knocked on it. And then came in to have a chat.

She talk to me about all kinds of matters related to work, life, the future. It was the most genuine interaction that I’ve had at work in a very long time.

[Malkuth]

Am in an interesting space right now.

Feeling more aware of the valleys than the peaks.

It’s recon, but don’t know how much of it is subliminals-driven and how much is life-driven or just about my general mind and self-development.

Break it down into smaller steps.

Stay with it.

Keep moving.

[Malkuth]

One very specific indicator that my mind is processing Shadow material is that I remember the movie Midsommar by Ari Aster.

That guy…

Subtle, Relaxed, Hope-draining Horror.

I won’t rant about him.

Point is there’s a particular musical refrain from that movie, very effectively composed and placed, that made a deep impact in my mind. And it’s been coming up in my imagination. It’s almost like a user-friendly label or display that says, ‘We’re Shadow-Working Right Now’.

I’ll stay with the process. And hope to trust it.

Remember: Immortal’s Blade and Immortal’s Courage are in there. Helping you.

[Malkuth]

The context of practice is not narrative

It is not configuration

It is not certainty

Not conclusion

[Malkuth]

Finally sat down to meditate this pm at 6:40. Sometimes I’ll combine certain imagination practices with the session.

Today, almost nothing.

Just sitting

‘shikantaza’

by minute 50, I started to get some important recollections.

Lifesaver.

I remembered:

Consciousness

Hypnosis

Focusing

Not as ‘books’ or ‘lists of answers’;

as modes of engagement

process

it’s something that is vital for me to remember

because that’s where my soul lives

hard to put into words

thank god

I’m going to guess that PHENOMENAUT, with its cores of Revelation of Mind, Revelation of Spirit, and Genesis,

may be supporting me through some important processes.

grateful.

[Malkuth]

It was like a bit of remembering about who I am and what I’m about.

Even that little bit was such a relief.

[Malkuth]

8:56 am

One late morning meditation coming right up

[Malkuth]

Considered doing a washout until 11 November. But today I opted to do my scheduled play day.

11 minutes of POOLS Black (on the bus heading to work)

10.5 minutes of PHENOMENAUT Genesis just now in my office.

Both masked.

And now…we continue with the day.

I had one appointment today 11 to 12. But the rest of the day is for working on tasks.

[Malkuth]

I’ve been experiencing a range of symptoms and conditions that led me to feel concerned about my health situation. But I wanted to make sure that my insurance situation was okay before going to get fully checked-out.

Today was finally the day that I went for a comprehensive health examination.

They drew a lot of blood. Did ultrasounds. ECG. X-ray. And so forth.

The way the place is set-up, I started doing my tests around 9:45 and by 12:15 or so they were able to give me feedback. They’ll e-mail the test report/summary to me in a couple of weeks.

Anyway, everything looked fine. At least all of the boxes they were checking. There are still other possibilities, of course. Not included in their tests. But this eliminated some of my specific concerns.

Looks like I might be looking at gut health and inflammation issues.

I’ve now made an appointment to consult with a nutritionist and a GP. I’m more than happy to have more blood tested. And once we zero in on what’s actually going on, I’ll be very pleased.

But for now, for today, I feel a sense of gratitude and relief.

[Malkuth]

Meditation from 6 pm to 7 pm.

Just sitting again.

[Malkuth]

I’ve probably said this above somewhere, but

the essence of meditation for me comes down, simply, to an ongoing attempt to

face reality

Face a little bit more of reality.

A little bit more of What Is.

Many days I barely have any room for it at all.

For me,

an enlightened mind is nothing more than a mind that consistently engages reality.

.

Perceptions. Agendas. Valences.

These are generated within mind.

Imposed onto, Intermingled into, Reality.

.

As a mind yourself, can you look at a mind, consider it as an entire phenomenon, and appreciate it for what it is?

.

If you’re drawing a picture of a room,

and in your drawing,

you reach the point of the room at which there is a mirror,

this complicates the entire drawing.

How do you draw an accurate picture of an object whose inherent function is simply to reflect other objects?

What is the truest depiction of the surface of a mirror?

Should it be reflecting something else; and therefore be true to its function?

Or should it be empty—an open pane of glass—and therefore true to its substance.

If no one is in the room to establish an angle of perspective, to whose eye would images be reflected? Which reflection would be seen?

And now consider:

Human beings are, ultimately, mirrors

Mind is mirror

Narratives and stories…mirrors

A story or narrative is always about its contents or its subject.

A perception is always of some object.

.

Most people are not fascinated by movie screens until a movie starts playing.

.

And similarly most don’t notice, or care about, minds and consciousnesses until some Happening begins to be known, encountered, experienced….

okay okay.

time for soup.

[Malkuth]

A vista is opening up.

One reason that Revelation of Spirit results can be difficult to talk about is that the manifestations often occur on a level of experience for which we have not developed concepts.

We tend to describe external appearances and even when we describe internal sensations, we often contextualize those sensations in response to external experiences. We don’t tend to have extensive reference points rooted in consciousness and interiority.

Other dimensions of experiencing are opening up.

It does not necessarily change anything on the conventional, normal level. Not at first.

Example

If you loved going to the symphony with friends that would be a nice experience.

You might hear all of the sounds of the instruments blending together into a wall of graceful music.

Now what if one day you went to the symphony and you realized that suddenly you could both hear the entire orchestra, BUT, simultaneously, you could also focus your attention and follow the precise sounds of any individual instrument in the orchestra. You could hear this distinctly as if that instrument were just playing alone.

And then the next month, you found that you could do the same for any two instruments.

The next month, for any three instruments.

By two years, you now find that you can listen to a symphony and both hear the combined sounds, and also distinguish every separate sound played by each instrument in the entire company.

One day in the midst of the third year, you return home to find that you are now able to listen to the symphony and then write down the entire musical notation for all instruments.

Throughout this entire process, nothing external has changed.

You’re still having lunch with your friends.

You’re still going to the symphony as a group.

You’re still smiling and shedding occasional tears of delight as you hear the beautiful music.

All that’s changing is your internal experience of the same stimulus.

Revelation of Spirit can be a bit like this.

Actually, Revelation of Mind is a bit like that.

[Malkuth]

Realized that I’ve been visiting this natural wildlife reserve kind of place in dreams.

I remember at the tail end (no pun intended) of the one from last night/this morning, I was realizing that things were getting a bit more disregulated and dangerous.

There was this particular door that I could leave from. But the way the place works, as you’re leaving you have to cross an area where you are unprotected. As I stepped out and closed the door, I saw trotting towards me a family of two adult animals and ahead of them 2 smaller colt-like children-animals. I saw their brown, zebra-like coats and my mind said, ‘That is an okapi’. In fact, that word ‘okapi’ was staying in my mind as I woke up and up until now as I’m typing this.

Just now I googled ‘okapi’, and saw that ‘yes! that is the same animal.’

Unlike last time when I saw these oddly long-limbed, rangy feline animals with very round heads/round fur on their heads.

I ended the experience, ‘jumped out’, because I knew that I was in danger of being attacked.

There was another dream, from, I think, in the middle of the night, that I remembered. But it’s already gone.

I just mention these because this is about as much as I’ve experienced (passively experienced) from Revelation of Dreams. I’ve spent about 3 play periods with that program, but in a custom.

I’m running 2 customs with 3 program cores in them.

I have another custom in the tuck that also has 3 program cores.

Thinking about time-frames…realistic timeframes.

I do not have an answer.

Well, not a final answer.

Anyway, time to meditate. I’ll return to this train of thought later.

[Malkuth]

[Malkuth]

Just experienced a FRECKING breakthrough.

okay, maybe a mild one, comparatively speaking.

I was experiencing a block to the writing project that I’m doing. It was lasting for the whole day. (For the past 2 weeks, really). I was feeling frustrated, restless, unable to organize or find a proper focus/direction.

I tried a number of different strategies and techniques for bypassing that and finding a way.

Finally about 1 hour ago, as I focused with open-ended concentration, it shifted and clicked.

I began writing in the form of bullet-pointed ‘packets’ of ideas.

This turned out, in this case, to work beautifully.

The problem was that my thought process was/is divergent. I would feel 4 or 5 lines of association and connection developing in potentially different directions simultaneously. Eventually that ‘cognitive traffic jam’ would result.

Expressing in the form of these more contained ‘packets’ allowed me to get everything down, and even to give some ideas the room to become what they need to become.

Just that I’ll also need to go back afterwards, to unpack and integrate everything.

But there was just this physical process of ‘opening up’ that happened. Felt good.

I’ve got Ultimate Writer in my QTKS custom. As well as Revelation of Mind. So, it’s like, ‘okay. thanks, people.’

and we continue…